back to article DXC: Everything is going to plan, too well in fact... we've chopped so many staff, our IT projects are now behind

The turmoil that has engulfed DXC Technologies was all part of the plan. That's the line chairman, president, and CEO Mike Lawrie took in a conference call discussing his company's latest financial results on Tuesday. As readers will recall, the US biz's strategic vision has included multiple rounds of layoffs totaling 30,000 …

  1. Phil Kingston Silver badge

    "Talent cloud"?

    Choose your own pun.

    1. Steve K Silver badge

      Hmm...

      Not a pun, but in Chris Morris mode, here goes....:

      If the opportunity wind changes then the talent cloud may be blown away from DXC and deposit skilled resource raindrops elsewhere on the project floodplains.

      1. cantankerous swineherd Silver badge

        Re: Hmm...

        have you thought of going into management?

    2. FozzyBear Silver badge

      yep, that cloud is normally just the noxious fumes emitted from his arse. Now apparently, having been a PHB for so long his mastered the art of expelling it from his mouth too.

    3. DougS Silver badge

      Better that being referred to as a "resource". I'd rather fly than be mined.

  2. mr_souter_Working

    hahahahahahahahahaha - pull the other one, it's got bells on.

    we are being told that the company "Puts people at the heart of everything we do"

    and that we are all important, and our opinions matter

    lets see what we get told on Thursday.......

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: hahahahahahahahahaha - pull the other one, it's got bells on.

      Of course people are at the heart of everything DXC does, sacking staff is Mike's only plan.

    2. Kabukiwookie
      Pint

      Re: hahahahahahahahahaha - pull the other one, it's got bells on.

      lets see what we get told on Thursday.......

      Working for DXC eh? You have my sympathy.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I wonder how long before this dysfunctional company is broken up and sold off. Corporate speak, buzz words and acquisitions will only keep it afloat for so long.

  4. sanmigueelbeer Silver badge
    Happy

    This is fake news. Y'hear? FAKE NEWS!

    I don't believe this news article is true.

    I don't believe there is anyone left in DXC any more.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: I don't believe there is anyone left in DXC any more.

      The Lights are still on in the offices so I guess one or two PHB's are still hanging on but anyone with any sense or marketable skills would have jumped ship eons ago.

      Quite why any businesses work with this lot is beyond me.

    2. mr_souter_Working

      Re: This is fake news. Y'hear? FAKE NEWS!

      nope - still plenty of us around - for some reason

      I had the chance to jump a couple of months ago - really wish I'd taken it

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Word Salad as usual from Lawrie

    Pathetic weasel words as usual from the “CEO” Mike Lawrie.

    He reminds me of Ballmer at MS, totally out of his depth and just says buzzwords to make him sound like he is competent.

    I’ve never worked for such an inept company as DXC - I got out late last year and enjoying watching the slow demise of this awful business.

  6. colinb

    Glug Glug

    Goes the drain

    1. tokamaktech

      Re: Glug Glug

      Perhaps you mean Gulag Gulag?

  7. Pascal Monett Silver badge
    FAIL

    So they acknowledge that they laid off too many people

    Now they're talking about hiring again - but you can bet they won't take back the people they laid off. They're going to hire cheap and incompetent, and then they'll wonder why the money still doesn't roll in.

    There is a curious warping of intelligence in certain spheres. You must be smart enough to remember when to spout what line of bullshit, but blind to the effects of it.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: So they acknowledge that they laid off too many people

      This is what happens when your entire management team has absolutely no understanding of the technology or businesses that it is operating in. Ironic that Lawrie has belatedly apparently realised that sales competence is not completely fungible, but still believes he can whistle up suitable ‘techies’ whenever and wherever he wishes and suitably capable and experienced people will come running...

      1. Paul Ward

        Re: So they acknowledge that they laid off too many people

        <sarcasm on>Lawrie: Well we don't really need capable and experienced people do we? After all, everything they will do is documented in scripts and processes isn't it? We just need warm (and cheap) bodies.<sarcasm off>

      2. tcmonkey

        Re: So they acknowledge that they laid off too many people

        Well he's halfway there already! He's already got people running as if their lives depended on it, now all he's gotta do is make them change direction. Should be easy enough, right? ...Right?

  8. Binty Chodkins

    I blame Chinty Bobkins

    It was all going so well until he showed up.

  9. Dwarf Silver badge

    Who'd have thought this could happen

    Less people results in less sales and less consultancy income.

    Perhaps the broader customer impact needs considering too - when bad experiences happen, the chance to do future business decreases too. This bit of the downward curve probably hasn't bitten fully yet.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Who'd have thought this could happen

      But if the squirrel jumps, the higher the weasel.

  10. murphyrebel

    How very dare you, they have all the staff they need. They have senior managers, middle managers, project managers, sales managers, salesmen and saleswomen. I believe they also have a contractor on

    up to £5.50 \ hour for the engineering stuff as well! Get your facts right!

    1. PhilBuk

      That sounds like the CSC - sorry DXC, that I knew and don't have to work for anymore.

      Phil.

  11. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

    "the US biz's strategic vision"

    Is "biz" short for "bizarre"? It's certainly the way it looks.

  12. Ilsa Loving

    Dilbert

    Apparently the DXC management didn't realize that Dilbert was satire, and instead used it as a guide.

  13. Uncle Ron

    What If ?

    Suppose for a second that the "New Normal" in US Presidential behavior (bald-faced, pathological lying, exaggeration, con-artist-style hyping, bragging) that has clearly been accepted and applauded by his core followers, becomes a commonplace occurrence from corporate leaders. Wouldn't that be something? Have you seen it already?

  14. Someone Else Silver badge

    DXC

    Isn't that the outfit that makes real expensive golf clubs?

    Oh...that's DXG?!?

    Never mind....

  15. Nolveys Silver badge
    Headmaster

    As a business strategy, murdering their employees will see diminishing returns.

  16. nasz

    Back to 1970s style of management

    Shame the leaders only seem interested in their golden pay-offs. Bonuses based on the bottom line, hmm... always leads to disaster.

  17. Giovani Tapini

    "near shoring"

    I assume this means shipping the cheap staff in for short term exploitative contracts rather than having them sit in their own sweatshops...

    1. Michael Wojcik Silver badge

      Re: "near shoring"

      Perhaps it means they'll put people in ships in international waters, to avoid pesky regulations.

  18. Silver123

    I've worked for DXC prior to getting laid off and I can certainly say this is the WORST company I've ever worked for. They have no respect for employees and are always cost cutting, especially if you are technical. Best to stay away.

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    So, so glad they cocked up my VR status and let me go. I always wondered if it could get any worse and it looks like it has!

  20. G4FUJ

    Escaped

    Just been catching up on various news items.

    Departed (escaped is a much better word) DXC in Dec '17. They were trying to make me redundant a few months earlier at a very difficult time (wife losing her battle with cancer). Started with EDS in 2000, so the payout wasn't too bad.

    Really glad I'm away from this pathetic excuse for an ITO business.

    Keep the comments coming guys, they make really entertaining reading.

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