back to article Stairway to edam: Swiss bloke blasts roquefort his cheese, thinks Led Zep might make it tastier

One Swiss chap hopes to get his rock and rollright by playing music to cheese to see if that makes it taste better. Burgdorf (Berthoud) resident Beat Wampfler's unconventional experiment attracted the attention of The Japan Times, which reported that since September the veterinarian and cheese enthusiast has been serenading …

  1. rebecca_hill

    Cheddar the Devil You Know

    Also, Cheese Release Me by Engle-camembert Humperdink

    1. JudeKay (Written by Reg staff)

      Re: Cheddar the Devil You Know

      Emmentaler's free .... to feel good!!!

  2. ArrZarr Silver badge
    Happy

    'Cause this is Cheddar

    Cheddar night

    And no one's goanna save you

    From the dreams about to strike

    You know it's Cheddar

    Cheddar night

    You're fighting for your life

    Inside a Cheddar nightmare tonight.

  3. }{amis}{ Silver badge
    Go

    But where is the "Best"

    Richard Cheese will surely win!

  4. Admiral Grace Hopper

    Putting On The Ritz

    Or putting it on the Ritz *jazz hands*

    1. Locky Silver badge

      These aren't my cup of tea, I'm more of a R 'n' Brie man.

      But I do like Ricotta Get Out of this Place - The Animals

    2. macjules Silver badge

      Re: Putting On The Ritz

      And talking of hands ... isn't it handy that he doesn't live in that industrial suburb of Bern known as Wankdorf?

  5. wolfetone Silver badge

    Baby Cheese do do do-do-do

    Baby Cheese do do do-do-do

    Baby Cheese do do do-do-do

    Baby Cheese.

    1. Adam 1 Silver badge

      Mummy Cheese do do do-do-do

      Mummy Cheese do do do-do-do

      Mummy Cheese do do do-do-do

      Mummy Cheese.

  6. Captain Hogwash Silver badge

    Gong's Camembert Electrique album surely?

    Or maybe Hawkwind's Quark, Strangeness and Charm.

    1. Pedigree-Pete
      Pint

      Re: Gong's Camembert Electrique album....

      Thanks Captain... have an upvote. I haven't thought about that album since I was at school. If I recall it was very cheap which is why many of my mates bought it. :)

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Hello. Is it brie you’re looking for?

  8. Come to the Dark Side

    Streets of Philadelphia - Bruce Springsteen

    I'm Stilton Standing - Elton John

    Gouda Vibrations - Beach Boys

  9. Semtex451 Silver badge
    Coat

    These comments stink

    The 'report abuse' button has never looked so tempting.

    Sorry I'm lactose intolerant

  10. Rich 11 Silver badge

    I hate cheese

    So these puns are all going whey over my head.

    1. Korev Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: I hate cheese

      Better than looking down to find you've stepped in a curd though...

  11. Scott Broukell

    What comes a rind goes a rind.

    I like this guys thinking, its whey out there!

  12. Captain Hogwash Silver badge

    Do you suppose...

    ...he's hoping to produce some tubular Babybels?

  13. Khaptain Silver badge

    Tasteless comments

    Gouda getta out of the place : Animals

    Cheese cheese me do : Beatles

    And you are all going to cringe at this

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5p5JvZxr4iM

    1. Outski

      Re: Tasteless comments

      "Cheese cheese me do : Beatles"

      Not Cheese Cheese Me?

  14. Joefish
    Coat

    Surely that should be: Feta the Devil You Know - Kylie

    Roquefort Casbah - The Clash

    Paneer Me - ABC

    What Yarg-onna Do? - Artful Dodger (feat. Craig David)

    Y Fenni How Love Is - Queen

  15. Neil 32

    Why has no-one yet quoted the classic

    Sweet dreams are made of cheese

    Who am I to dis a brie

    I cheddar the world

    And the feta cheese

    Everybody's looking for Stilton

  16. Captain Hogwash Silver badge

    While My Gruyere Gently Weeps - The Beatles

    The Advent Of Paneer - Gentle Giant

    East Of Edam - Dead Can Dance

    Musica Emmental - Dead Can Dance

    1. Excellentsword (Written by Reg staff)

      tbh I only upvoted for mention of Dead Can Dance, which I am listening to right now.

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    and the bands ..

    A Brie C

    Edam and the Ants ...

    1. EarthDog

      Re: and the bands ..

      Stringiest Cheese Incident.

      http://www.stringcheeseincident.com

  18. Franco Silver badge

    Provolone by The Wildhearts (Everlone)

    Mull of Dunsyre Blue

    A succession of AC/DC based titles

    Let there be Roquefort

    Halloumi ain't a bad place to be

    Rock 'n' Roll EDamnation

    1. Rich 11 Silver badge

      More AC/DC

      Chunderstruck

      (That's usually what happens if I mistakenly eat processed or hard cheese.)

  19. ThePhantom

    Crank up the subwoofers and get ready to rock and roll: Metallica has its own whiskey, and it was created in part by the band’s music. A blend of straight American whiskeys selected and blended by master distiller Dave Pickerell, Blackened was put through a proprietary “sonic enhancement” process that used Metallica songs to create sound waves that impact chemical reactions taking place in the aging whiskey.

    No, this is not a joke.

    1. Tikimon Silver badge
      Coat

      Aging bands to age whiskey!

      Seems appropriate.

  20. mainframe360

    Don't fear the Roquefort- Blue Oyster Culture

    1. Symon Silver badge
      Coat

      More Babybell?

    2. Scott Broukell

      Presumably you are thinking of cheese and Patti there ?

  21. Martin Gregorie Silver badge

    Controlled experments: thats the ticket

    This whole experiment seems badly thought out. Here's how to do it properly:

    Run the set of experiments in one of those big, Swiss communal underground nuclear shelters so all the cheese shares the same environmental conditions.

    Put each set of different cheese types in its own soundproof enclosure

    Keep one set silent as a control.

    Each of the others gets a different type of music during the whole maturing process, including but not limited to: Monastic plainsong, Wagnerian Operas, Mozart, Brass bands, Trad jazz, Bebop, Folksong, Reggae, Heavy Metal Rock, Prog Rock, Stones, Zappa, Top Ten pop hits, Andean mountain music,...

    Then the tasters get to rate which music goes best with each type of cheese.

    1. M. Poolman

      Re: Controlled experments: thats the ticket

      ...including but not limited to: ... Zappa

      Doubtless featuring Suzy Creamcheese

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Controlled experments: thats the ticket

      I wonder if music while you eat makes a difference to how something tastes. There must be bandwidth problems in the nervous system and brain when there are multiple stimuli.

      The back of the nose is important in differentiating tastes. Synaesthesia happens to us all even if only sunlight causing us to sneeze.

      Illuminating things with blue light tends to put people off eating them. IIRC supermarkets play particular types of music to encourage people to buy things.

    3. Joe W

      Re: Controlled experments: thats the ticket

      Not sure if they have a "silent" cheese, but the article does read like they test different types of music on different slabs.

    4. EarthDog

      Re: Controlled experments: thats the ticket

      and wine. Don't forget the wine.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Controlled experments: thats the ticket

        "Don't forget the wine."

        You have forgotten the tip monsieur.

    5. onefang Silver badge

      Re: Controlled experments: thats the ticket

      Why music, why not just pure tones, and work up from there?

    6. breakfast
      Coat

      Re: Controlled experments: thats the ticket

      Sounds like you want this experiment to be performed more Caerphilly.

  22. vir
    Coat

    "If so, El Reg would like to see the experiment rolled out to Lancashire, Gloucester and Wensleydale."

    Make sure you roll through Gloucester twice.

    1. Captain Hogwash Silver badge

      Re: roll through Gloucester twice

      Make sure to chase it down Cooper's Hill.

  23. YogMac

    Has to be Van Halen (Holein)

    Has to be Van Halen, those vibes will give it ENERGY

    1. Michael Habel Silver badge

      Re: Has to be Van Halen (Holein)

      Yes but, for best affects make sure to only play the David Lee Roth Era.

  24. M. Poolman

    A rare bit of amusement for a Monday.

  25. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Babybel Canon

  26. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Prince Charles will probably add this to the Duchy products - he advocated talking to your plants many years ago.

    1. WolfFan Silver badge

      Back when he was still married to Diana?

      1. EarthDog

        I think the 60's and 70's

    2. Michael Habel Silver badge

      Yes but, does he belive that the talk back to him, and what are they telling him?

  27. The Oncoming Scorn Silver badge
    Pint

    Ultravox - Brielliant

    MUSE - Plug In Babybel\Brieby

  28. Evil Auditor Silver badge

    I know where I will be on 14 March. I'm not mad about emmentaler but this rocks!

    1. Jedit

      "I know where I will be on 14 March"

      Why 14th March? As Ministry fans know, every day is Halloumi.

      Music will be provided by Paneer at the Disco, Havarti of Noise and New Orda.

  29. CT

    See also Les Barker's "Hard Cheese of Old England" for more puns, e.g.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x59VnlXINbE

  30. Stevie Silver badge

    Bah!

    Anything by Culture Club, no?

    Keep on Rennin (Marks and Spencer Davis Group)

  31. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    To the cheese punners in the comments sectipn

    There are names for people like you.

    And a some complicated phrases

  32. Clunking Fist Bronze badge

    Anything by Cheese and Dave?

    Cheese Me by N*E*R*D?

  33. onefang Silver badge

    Anything by Cheese and Chong (they have a lot of albums). Or should they now be called Cheese and Bong?

    Shirley most Christian songs mention Cheeses.

  34. julianh72

    "Personal Cheeses" (by Johnny Cash or Depeche Mode - take your pick)

    "My Whey" (Frank Sinatra)

    "Buffalo Mozzarella Soldier" (Bob Marley)

    "I'll Be Your Babybel Tonight" (Robert Parmigiana)

    "Life on Marscapone" (David Bowie)

    Anything recorded by Emmental As Anything

    (Sorry if any / all of these are duplicates.)

    1. Tom 38 Silver badge

      "Personal Cheeses" (by Johnny Cash or Depeche Mode - take your pick)

      Richard Cheese does a cover off that.

    2. Daniel von Asmuth Bronze badge
      Pint

      Parma Chameleon - Penicillium Culture Club

      Major Tomme (A Cheese Orgy) - David Browie

      In the Rocquefort-free World - Neil Young

  35. onefang Silver badge

    Apparently Taylor Swift is performing tonight, in a sports stadium not very far away. I've been hearing the sound checks all day. This page from the venue is a bit cheesy though -

    https://thegabba.com.au/Events/Taylor-Swift.aspx

  36. Pen-y-gors Silver badge

    Lancashire?

    No puns, but it has to be Gracie Fields greatest hits.

  37. tony2heads

    Wensleydale

    Black Dyke Brass band

  38. WereWoof

    Queen - I want to eat Brie!

  39. WereWoof

    Bobby Vee: -

    Baby Bel, I come bouncin' back to you

    Baby Bel, I come bouncin' back to you

    I'm like a Baby Bel

    Baby that's all that I am to you (bouncy, bouncy) (bouncy, bouncy)

    Just a Baby Bel

    'Cause you think you can be true to two (bouncy, bouncy) (bouncy, bouncy)

    You bounce my heart around (you don't even put her down)

    And like a Baby Bel, I come bouncin' back to you

    Baby Bel, I come bouncin' back to you

    If you stretch my love till it's thin enough to tear

    I'll just stretch my arms to reach you anywhere

    And like a Baby Bel, I'll come bouncin' back to you

    Baby Bel, I'll come bouncin' back to you

  40. ukgnome Silver badge

    Primus

    Has no one mentioned - Sailing on a Sea of Cheese by Primus?

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