back to article Microsoft claims Office 364 back to business as usual. Oh no it isn't, say suffering sysadmins

Microsoft might be patting itself on the back prematurely for wrangling the technical gremlins that downed its Office 365 services for some users in the UK and the US. Reports on Twitter from disgruntled admins about an online productivity suite-shaped hole in their lives began on Friday as users struggled to log in, and then …

  1. N2 Silver badge
    Trollface

    Silly me

    Just realised you have to re-install your operating system to make it...

    Reaches for coat

  2. RAMChYLD

    Office 364?

    Is it cheaper than Office 365? If so, how do I downgrade?

    1. phuzz Silver badge
      Joke

      Re: Office 364?

      They've renamed it after Trading Standards had a word. Its not accessible for about one day a year, hence the new name.

      (For those arriving after the corrections, the original headline read "Microsoft claims Office 364 back to business as usual.")

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        GRe: Office 364?

        Er I rather think that was the joke...

        Whoosh!

      2. CRConrad

        Which corrections?

        Headline still says 364.

    2. Dan 55 Silver badge

      Re: Office 364?

      They downgrade you automatically from time to time but it's not any cheaper.

    3. Lee D Silver badge

      Re: Office 364?

      To downgrade is simple.

      Just update to the newest version of Office each time it's released.

      Less features, less reliability, the perfect downgrade.

      I had a rather interesting conversation with a client lately where they demanded to know why our staff webmail was only running <old but still-fully-supported version> and not the new-new-newest.

      "a) it works, b) it's not insecure, c) it's supported, d) we have no need of any upgrade" was the gist of my answer.

    4. EastFinchleyite

      Re: Office 364?

      It has often been said that to plan for the future you should look to the mistakes of the past.

      With that in mind I think it would be fair to rename the ailing productivity suite back to that well known oxymoron:

      "MICROSOFT WORKS"

      (ps. anyone under 30 who hasn't a clue about what I'm on about should read

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Microsoft_Works )

  3. katrinab Silver badge
    Trollface

    Wrong name?

    Are you sure it isn't Office 270? Or Office 14?

    1. Jay Lenovo Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: Wrong name?

      Maybe more appropriately, Microsoft Orifice

      As in "I put my trust and data in Microsoft Orifice 365 and encountered a cloud of stink"

    2. Daedalus Silver badge

      Re: Wrong name?

      More like Office 420

  4. 2+2=5 Silver badge
    Joke

    Active reproduction?!?!

    > We've had no further reports of users in active reproduction...

    active reproduction - the mind boggles. Why would a woman in labour want to be using Office 365 at the same time?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Active reproduction?!?!

      The ribbon would be a useful distraction from the pain of childbirth.

      1. ecarlseen

        Re: Active reproduction?!?!

        The ribbon would be a useful distraction from the pain of childbirth.

        If I hadn't already set down my espresso I would have ruined my $700 MacBook Pro keyboard. :-)

        1. Tomato Krill

          Re: Active reproduction?!?!

          Flat white, Shirley?

    2. The Oncoming Scorn Silver badge
      Childcatcher

      Re: Active reproduction?!?!

      I think that comes later (Typically 9 months) - Right now it's the right royal rogering by Microshaft, thats leaving BOFH's, PFY's & lusers Red (with exasperation), Raw (Nerves & stresses) & feeling sore.

      1. bombastic bob Silver badge
        Coat

        Re: Active reproduction?!?!

        new product idea: Micro-shaft Lube

    3. MiguelC Silver badge

      Re: Active reproduction?!?!

      They meant they weren't fucking users any more... but it seems they still are

  5. Peter2 Silver badge

    So...

    In my environment for patching I have a canary group, which gets updates first. The Canary group is comprised of less essential but voluble users who rarely (if ever) pass on an opportunity to report a problem, real or imagined. If the canary group snuffs it following a patch, I know not to apply the patches to production.

    Has nobody told Microsoft staff that this is best practice with their software...?

    1. bombastic bob Silver badge
      Unhappy

      canary group

      to Micro-shaft, that's the 'home' users; i.e. pay EXTRA to NOT be 'a canary'

  6. Mark 85 Silver badge

    What does one expect from MS? Seriously? I guess the Win10 philosophy of "break it again and let the customers, errr, testers find it" applies now to Office. Where will it spread to next?

    1. whitepines Silver badge
      Trollface

      I bet a lot of enterprises wish it would spread to the license enforcement and billing departments at Microsoft....

  7. Darn_Tootin

    I delete it

    I recently bought a new laptop that came with a free trial for Office three-sixty-whatever. Day one, I uninstalled it because I don't need it, don't want it. A recent compulsory Windows 10 update reinstalled it, so again I uninstalled it. I get the feeling I'm going to have to keep doing this after each big update.

    1. A.P. Veening Silver badge

      Re: I delete it

      Just do a clean install including formatting the HDD/SDD, that will get rid of other pre-installed bloatware as well. That is just the first thing I do whenever I buy a new computer, whether it is a laptop or a desktop.

      1. Anonymous Coward Silver badge
        Facepalm

        Re: I delete it

        Yes, formatting the HDD/SSD (WTF is an SDD??) will get rid of the bloatware. Unfortunately you then need to install an OS and if your chosen OS is Windows 10 then the bloatware will automagically reappear. World of Candy Minecraft whatever - always there, will be reinstalled at just that moment when you think you got rid of it.

  8. Christian Berger Silver badge

    You know the funny thing is...

    ... that Microsoft still calls Office "productivity software", even though virtually all things you can do with it can be done better and with less work with more suitable software packages. It's probably more of a time waster than Minesweeper and Solitaire combined.

  9. Jeffrey Nonken Silver badge

    Still hanging onto my old office install discs with a death-like grip.

    Also have LibreOffice.

  10. a_mu

    360

    Weve always called it 360,

    it goes around, but is not up 24/7 and when its down , its down in a big way, no fall backs.

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