back to article Where can I hide this mic? I know, shove it down my urethra

Forget the stereotype: small is better. And as I get older, it seems to be getting smaller. Only last night I had to ask Mme D to help me look for it. Next time I shall take more care over where I leave my spare microSD card. Actually I have several of these lying about the house but I cannot place them all just at the moment …

  1. msknight Silver badge

    Micro SD holder

    There are a number of nice micro SD card holders, credit card size (but a little thicker) that I use to keep my MicroSD cards in check. They're great. It now means that I can loose seven cards and an adaptor all at the same time. How's that for efficiency !!!

  2. Pascal Monett Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    Dear God

    The sheer amount of innuendo almost made me dizzy. Way to go, Dabbs !

    1. Roj Blake Silver badge

      Re: Dear God

      A girl I know once told me that she loves double entendres, so I gave her one.

      1. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge
        Joke

        Re: Dear God

        @Roj Blake

        A girl I know...

        Samantha?

        1. 's water music Silver badge

          Re: Dear God

          Mornington Crescent!

          wait, wut?

        2. Roj Blake Silver badge

          Re: Dear God

          I'm sorry, I haven't a clue what you're talking about.

    2. macjules Silver badge
      Thumb Up

      Re: Dear God

      Definitely one of the better rants.

  3. msknight Silver badge

    Hmmmm....

    "we might be able to pack an entire smartphone in our schlongs."

    Are you stroking yourself, or just swiping through Instagram?

  4. David Roberts Silver badge
    Windows

    Castration anxiety

    This is why I wear practical but unfashionable trousers with side pockets on the legs, where wallet, phone and anything else bulky can be stored so that I can seat myself with reckless abandon without a high pitched scream or the sound of a glass screen cracking.

    Or...ummm....the sound of a crack cracking on a glass screen perhaps?

    On a related note, people of a certain age (yoof) seem to carry mobile phones (on the rare occasions that they aren't actively using them) sticking half way out of a rear pocket. This looks insecure on various levels; invitation to pickpockets, ease of losing when sitting down, whatever. I can only assume that the jeggings or whatever are so tight that it is impossible to remove the phone without the deliberate flexing of buttock muscles.

    1. Chris Miller

      Re: Castration anxiety

      sitting down quickly while a smartphone's in your pocket is the new Russian Roulette

      This is why God gave us shirt pockets.

      1. msknight Silver badge

        Re: Castration anxiety

        @Chris Miller - "This is why God gave us shirt pockets."

        Speak for yourself. Blouses and trousers have pockets... but then the vicious sods go and sew them up, so we can't actually use them !!!

      2. hammarbtyp Silver badge

        Re: Castration anxiety

        This is why God gave us shirt pockets.

        Required IT crowd reference

      3. Voyna i Mor Silver badge

        Re: Castration anxiety

        "This is why God gave us shirt pockets."

        I note that someone (my private stalker?) downvotes me if I ever mention a brand name in a post - admirably persistent - but the combination of Rohan shirts and Sony compact phones is extremely effective.

        1. David Roberts Silver badge
          Windows

          Re: Castration anxiety - Rohan shirts

          I find the pockets in my Rohan shirts barely adequate for my Galaxy S5 (which I use for all sorts of things including navigation and, very occasionally, phone calls). I haven't yet found a pair of Rohan trousers (in a sale; you pay full price??) with decent side pockets. Generally need a waistcoat of many pockets, a bum bag, or a rucksack to carry stuff around.

          I am currently stocking up on Paramo which have humongous trouser side pockets and quite respectable shirt pockets. Although the buggers stopped producing my favourite shirt soon after I discovered it.

          However Rohan do a jacket which has so many capacious pockets I'm not sure if I have managed to use them all yet. Quite large enough for an 8" tablet (more navigation) and my largest wallet with a subset of my plastic card collection. Autumn through spring only, though, or I would melt. Looking forward to using it next time we fly as it has a similar capacity to carry on luggage.

          1. Voyna i Mor Silver badge

            Re: Castration anxiety - Rohan shirts

            "I find the pockets in my Rohan shirts barely adequate for my Galaxy S5"

            Hence my reference to Sony compacts. The latest one is rather porky by the usual standards, but is still 7mm less on a side than the S5. I really hope Sony don't discontinue the line, because really 5 inches is enough. Oo-err missus.

      4. Montreal Sean

        Re: Castration anxiety

        @Chris Miller shirt pockets.

        Obligatory IT Crowd clip:

        https://youtu.be/dXqFZOMgr9U

        :)

    2. Patrician
      FAIL

      Re: Castration anxiety

      The release of said tightness on removing jeggings to use the toilet has been responsible for one instance of a daughter, and two separate grand daughters fishing in the loo for their smart phones in the past year.

      1. Nattrash
        Headmaster

        Re: Castration anxiety

        Not sure how scientific or well founded my remark is here, but thinking about it...

        Might there be a gender specific difference here? If I look around or contemplate it, I've the idea that ladies in general wear their mobes in their back pocket (just like your (grand) daughters do), while gents seem to prefer the location Dabs described (either on vibrate or not). You know, just like gents dropping their trousers when sitting down on the loo, and ladies pulling up (if they wear skirts of course)...

        I think it's about time for a completely unscientific Reg study here...

    3. jelabarre59 Silver badge

      Re: Castration anxiety

      This is why I wear practical but unfashionable trousers with side pockets on the legs, where wallet, phone and anything else bulky can be stored so that I can seat myself with reckless abandon without a high pitched scream or the sound of a glass screen cracking.

      I go for the "Batman look". I have a belt pouch for my phone (not one of those oversized phablets, I generally only use it for, *GASP*, phone calls). If I need to carry around a multi-tool, etc, that's another accessory on the utility belt.

    4. stiine
      Happy

      Re: Castration anxiety

      Oh, but sometimes its so very satisfying to watch.

  5. Dave K Silver badge

    "512KB"

    Wow, a flash drive with less than half the capacity of a 3.5" floppy, technology really has advanced over the years hasn't it...

    </sarcasm - yes I know it's supposed to be 512MB>

    1. GlenP Silver badge

      Not necessarily an error (although they seem to be out of stock):

      https://www.amazon.co.uk/Texet-512KB-USB-Flash-Drive/dp/B004GUU5BE

    2. chivo243 Silver badge
      Pint

      @Dave K

      capacity of 512Kb? beat me to it... even down to the capacity of a floppy!

      +1 and a pint!

    3. Nick Kew Silver badge

      Storage capacities were measured in gigabytes - albeit not large numbers of GB unless $$$ - when USB first emerged.

      1. Alister Silver badge

        @Nick Kew

        No, they weren't. The first available flash drives came in 64MB, 128MB, 256MB and 512MB sizes - and those are still available today.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Fairly sure the first pendrive I spent real money on was either 16 or at most 32Mb. It must still be around here somewhere but hell knows.

          1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

            A few years ago I spent a lot of money buying up the last 32Mb CF cards I could find.

            We had a fleet of old field data loggers that used 32Mb FAT (rather than pay MSFT a license for FAT32) it had all the file offset positions hard coded into the micro and would only work with 32Mb cards.

            1. Prst. V.Jeltz Silver badge

              The problem I find isnt that the ones i find lying around are somehow now too small . I could be happy with 512mb of mp3s stuffed into the car radio's usb socket ...

              Trouble is the sd cards I find lying around the house are far beyond the capacity of the gizmos i want to use them with ...

          2. hmv

            Wasn't USB but the first CF card I bought was 10Mbytes.

          3. William Towle
            Thumb Up

            > Fairly sure the first pendrive I spent real money on was either 16 or at most 32Mb. It must still be around here somewhere but hell knows.

            I've got a 32MB one somewhere, in a fairly slender form factor considering its age (albeit traded off against length). With luck you might get a slim modern one alongside it in an adjacent port.

            At one of my jobs I lent it to someone and it ended up being used for some test or other because being old it was slightly more power hungry than most. I had to fight slightly to get it back into my possession!

            ...It's plenty enough for some minimal distros still; if I knew where it was I expect I'd find Tiny Core, possibly dual booted with FreeDOS, on it.

            I found it in the bottom of a pocket one day and asking myself "what's that doing there" earned the response "what's *that*? Are you some sort of spy?" :)

        2. D@v3

          USB storage capacity

          I remember when i was at college and the idea of storing things on something you could plug into a USB was becoming a 'thing'. (mice, keyboards, printers had been around a while).

          To avoid all the nonsense that my classmates had to put up with using floppies, myself and a couple of chums had invested in USB card readers, and what were at the time, almost exclusively digital camera memory cards. I had a 16mb compact flash card, and a single format card reader, was the best thing ever.

          Was a bit of a pain needing to carry around the mini-CD with the drivers on it.

        3. Nattrash
          Happy

          True! Still got one 64MB here, can supply picture when needed!

          1. Paul Crawford Silver badge

            I found the memory card that came with a 1990's Anritsu spectrum analyser, a princely 32kB.

            Yes kilobytes! Now got off my lawn!

            1. Stoneshop Silver badge

              Some time ago I found a handheld computer at a thrift store. Storage was a PCMCIA card using static RAM, with two coin cells for backup power. IIRC its capacity is 256k; programs lived on a second PCMCIA card, 2MB or 4MB (the machine is elsewhere, can't check).

              1. Danny 14 Silver badge

                I still have a working 128Mb usb drive. It has a small set of pxe boot drivers on it. The reason I keep it is that it has never failed to be detected in a machine, some USB sticks get finicky around USB booting.

        4. Chris Evans

          The first USB pen drives were 8MB

          According to https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/USB_flash_drive. That sounds much more the sort of figure I remember seeing available.

          Psion used to have much smaller flash memory cards. I've a S/H 256K card for a Psion 3 for sale on my website!

      2. Dave K Silver badge

        @Nick Kew: Oh no they weren't!

        My first flash drive was 256MB. At the time, it was still great coming from a world of floppy disks and the occasional Zip drive.

      3. Phil Endecott Silver badge

        I’ve just checked and my oldest USB flash drive is 64 MB.

        Of course it was exactly where I knew it would be. The newer, larger, actually useful ones... no idea where they are.

    4. Stoneshop Silver badge

      </sarcasm - yes I know it's supposed to be 512MB>

      My first digicam came with a 4MB CF card for storage (I bought a 16MB one the next day when I realised that 4MB couldn't even hold half as much pics as a 36 roll of Ektachrome), so a 512k stick doesn't sound out of the ordinary if you go back that far.

  6. David Roberts Silver badge
    Paris Hilton

    Oh, go on then

    Is that a microphone up your urethra or are you just pleased to see me?

    1. Teiwaz Silver badge

      Re: Oh, go on then

      Is that a microphone up your urethra or are you just pleased to see me?

      The authors choice of 'down' rather than up has got to be in almost awed wonder and pride.'Wow! See, I can still achieve a not insignificant 'Belisha beacon' at my age, be amazed!!

    2. phuzz Silver badge
      Alert

      Re: Oh, go on then

      If you have bladder stones you maybe unlucky enough to have a doctor stick a camera into your bladder to have a look. They use an endoscope (technically a 'cystoscope') that's about 3-4mm diameter.

      Barring surgery there's only one way that camera is getting in there, and, yep, everyone reading this just involuntarily tried to cross their legs. As a man, one of the worst bits is when they have to get it round a narrow corner right by your prostate.

      Definitely one of my least favourite medical memories, although I did get to see the inside of my own bladder, which I suppose few people can say.

      1. Simon Harris Silver badge

        Re: Oh, go on then

        3-4mm - that's nothing.

        My first robotic surgery project was for automated prostate surgery.

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zCZjktHxgw4

        For that a resectoscope is passed up the urethra through the only natural keyhole. Not only does that contain the 'scope (which could be swapped for an ultrasound probe) but also the cutting equipment and irrigation channels. The whole assembly was housed in a stainless steel tube approximately 10mm in diameter.

        And don't ask about the trans-rectal ultrasound probe (which goes in the other, larger, keyhole) used to guide a needle for prostate biopsies - that would put a lot of Ann Summers products to shame.

        1. Ken Hagan Gold badge

          Re: Oh, go on then

          "The whole assembly was housed in a stainless steel tube approximately 10mm in diameter."

          And they say that no man can ever truly appreciate the pain of childbirth...

          1. Bernard M. Orwell Silver badge
            Joke

            Re: Oh, go on then

            "And they say that no man can ever truly appreciate the pain of childbirth..."

            Sure they can, and much worse. Go ask someone to kick you in the crown jewels. I garuntee you won't want to go back for a second kick. On the other hand, I know a lot of women who want, or have, second or even third children. Clearly, therefore, the kick in the nuts must be worse.

            1. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: Oh, go on then

              "Sure they can, and much worse. Go ask someone to kick you in the crown jewels. I garuntee you won't want to go back for a second kick. On the other hand, I know a lot of women who want, or have, second or even third children. Clearly, therefore, the kick in the nuts must be worse."

              At the end of childbirth, one has the outcome of a new human being. That is usually a desired thing, hence the willingness to endure the discomfort. Offer said kicked gents the sum of one million (dollars, euros, pounds, whatever) for a return go, after a recovery time of at least nine months, and you would probably get a fair number of takers.

              Oh, and do kicked nuts hurt at pain=9 or 10 for hours at a time? I have known women to be in labor for twelve+ hours. Weaker sex indeed!

      2. AndrueC Silver badge
        Joke

        Re: Oh, go on then

        Definitely one of my least favourite medical memories, although I did get to see the inside of my own bladder, which I suppose few people can say.

        Are you taking the p...

        No. Best not. Not gonna get any respect for such an obvious pun.

  7. Potemkine! Silver badge

    Bromide for Mr. Dabbs please!

    And a lot of it, now! ^^

    In fact, gents, we might be able to pack an entire smartphone in our schlongs

    I would suggest using the vibrating mode, ringing schlongs may be not very well considered.

    And now for something completely similar

    small is beautiful

    1. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge
      Alert

      Re: Bromide for Mr. Dabbs please!

      yes, he appears to be somewhat pee-occupied of late with his crotch-region

    2. Teiwaz Silver badge

      Re: Bromide for Mr. Dabbs please!

      In fact, gents, we might be able to pack an entire smartphone in our schlongs

      I would suggest using the vibrating mode, ringing schlongs may be not very well considered.

      Why 'in', exactly?

      I suggest some sort of sheath affair, vibrate might still be fun, especially at office meetings when you've forgotten you've it 'on you'

      Might loose the 'respect' (to say the least) either way, if you have to unzip to retrieve you phone and put it to your ear*

      *And passing it to a lady (if you can find one these days) with 'so and so wants a word' is certainly out.

      1. Paul Crawford Silver badge

        Re: Bromide for Mr. Dabbs please!

        This has already been covered:

        https://www.theregister.co.uk/2012/01/26/ipad_fleshlight_design/

  8. Franco Silver badge

    "we might be able to pack an entire smartphone in our schlongs."

    I can't wait to be forced to unlock it at US customs, and the mind boggles at the case and customisation options that might be available. Although the removal of the 3.5mm jack might be a good thing at that point....

    1. Teiwaz Silver badge

      Although the removal of the 3.5mm jack might be a good thing at that point...

      Maybe optional for the masochist market.

    2. Waseem Alkurdi
      Thumb Up

      I can't wait to be forced to unlock it at US customs,

      This! All this!

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    re. micro sd, etc.

    I have decided to keep them in an ash-tray (sort of), and the usb stcks in a bowl. Neither close to the kitchen / microwave / neighbours' dogs / etc.

    Now, what to do with those FUCKING cables!!!! I tried stuffsacks, I tried shoeboxes, but they obviously come alive at night, slither this and that way, and when you pull them up, they're all in a (...) entaglement, like they've been mating all night! (what do you get when you cross an hdmi cable and a micro-usb cable? Sadly, nothing more than a couple of very crossed cables :(

    Yes, give me a solution to the cablegeddon and my life will become pure blissssss....

    1. Jusme

      Re: re. micro sd, etc.

      > Yes, give me a solution to the cablegeddon and my life will become pure blissssss....

      Re-sealable freezer bags. 1 per cable. I buy them in bulk!

      B&Q crate or storage box for different types - Ethernet, USB, HDMI, Audio, etc. etc.

      1. Prst. V.Jeltz Silver badge

        Re: re. micro sd, etc.

        "B&Q crate or storage box for different types "

        I ended up with one crate full of carrier bags holding the different categories. The benefit of that is , the bags dynamically adjust for size, saving space, whereas if you had a box for each type ... it wouldnt.

      2. Stoneshop Silver badge

        those FUCKING cables

        Re-sealable freezer bags. 1 per cable.

        Kind of a cable condom then.

    2. cambsukguy

      Re: re. micro sd, etc.

      Toilet roll inners, free and plentiful.

      One or more cables per tube, depending on whether it is a mains lead, AV, audio, USB etc.

      Obviously all the same type in any one tube.

      I use twist ties for the smaller cables prior to tube insertion so I can one tube, extract one and toss the tube back in the box.

      1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

        Re: re. micro sd, etc.

        "Toilet roll inners, free and plentiful."

        it depends on the rate at which you accumulate cables (assuming no compensating medical condition).

        1. Missing Semicolon Silver badge

          Re: re. micro sd, etc.

          Releasable cable ties.

          Sanity restored!

          1. Mark 85 Silver badge

            Re: re. micro sd, etc.

            Cheaper would be the plastic/paper coated wire thingies used for bread and also trash bags.

    3. Phil Endecott Silver badge

      Re: re. micro sd, etc.

      > Now, what to do with those FUCKING cables!!!!

      ROUND tupperware type containers.

      Or, seen in a lab once, a sort of comb-like thing that you fix to the wall and hang them from (best for cables with larger connectors I suppose). Anyone know what that might be called?

      1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

        Re: re. micro sd, etc.

        "Anyone know what that might be called?"

        It's just a short length of re-purposed cable trunking. The cheaper sort you use in non-visible places and cable tie stuff in/to.

      2. Stoneshop Silver badge
        Boffin

        Re: re. micro sd, etc.

        Anyone know what that might be called?

        Test lead organiser, or test lead holder

        The better ones have movable 'fingers', so that they can accommodate different cable widthts.

        A couple of minutes with a length of PVC rain gutter and a hacksaw will do the same and be much cheaper.

  10. lawndart

    Don't worry. Those flash drives will disappear fast enough when it is their turn to save the universe

  11. This post has been deleted by its author

  12. SVV Silver badge

    The dick phone has already been invented

    Apple sell lots of them.

    1. tfewster Silver badge

      Re: The dick phone has already been invented

      It's going to ruin that old joke

      "Do you use a Dictaphone?"

      "No, I use my finger"

      1. Prst. V.Jeltz Silver badge
        Coat

        Re: The dick phone has already been invented

        I use voice recognition ... works both cases ...

  13. Simon Harris Silver badge

    Orifices.

    This isn't the first time this illustrious organ has reported on insertable audio devices.

    At the beginning of 2016 the much missed Lester Haines reported on the BabyPod - a vaginally inserted loud speaker.

    https://www.theregister.co.uk/2016/01/07/foetal_streaming_service/

  14. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

    "an amusing role-play"

    No such thing, at least not if you have sufficient IQ to make you employable in any capacity other than marketing and management.

  15. Tom 7 Silver badge

    I found one in my accounts

    While doing the annual sums for the tax avoidance I found a receipt for a 256G card. It took me months to find it. When I had finally stopped looking for it I decided to bore the kids to death with a computing demo and found the bloody thing stuck in the back of the tv while trying to use it as an extra large monitor.

    So I could have recorded the golf after all!

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Bend over and smile

    If you think the microphone was bad enough, you will never guess where they inserted the DSLR camera.

    Which reminds me, whatever happened to Goat.sx man

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Bend over and smile

      IIRC he joined the Choir Invisible.

      Also I once lost a 32GB microSD card *somewhere* outside. Alas it was already broken, had the write protect fault.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Bend over and smile

      If you'd ever been given the task of removing a member of Staff allegedly having been filmed in congress with a four legged friend at the side of a railway track you would find its not covered in the staff handbook....

  17. earl grey Silver badge
    Trollface

    shirt pockets

    And just tell me, how is that supposed to work with my pocket protector?

  18. 2Nick3 Bronze badge

    USB Raid array

    I always wanted to find 4+ similar USB drives and plug them into my old USB hub and see if I could make a RAID array out of them. Watching IO light up the access LEDs would be fun.

    1. Waseem Alkurdi

      Re: USB Raid array

      Interesting idea ... Done the Googling. It wouldn't be worth the bother as USB is far too slow, and if you mix 'n' match drives, the RAID array would be limited by the slowest element.

      Further reading: https://arstechnica.com/civis/viewtopic.php?t=77186

      1. Stoneshop Silver badge
        Boffin

        Re: USB Raid array

        Someone did this using USB floppies. Just because he could.

        Further reading: https://arstechnica.com/civis/viewtopic.php?t=77186

        The one asking that question there mentions SATA, and receives a reply that SATA to USB does not exist. But SATA to IDE does, and IDE to CF converters do exist too. So, not a stick, but it's still possible to use a hardware RAID controller with solid state storage not being SSDs.

    2. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

      Re: USB Raid array

      "I always wanted to find 4+ similar USB drives and plug them into my old USB hub and see if I could make a RAID array out of them. Watching IO light up the access LEDs would be fun."

      Done it. 3x32GB USB sticks formatted as a ZFS volume on FreeBSD. It was practice on how to do it while waiting for the 4x2TB spinning discs to arrive. USB 2.0 interface and whatever speeds the sticks were. I can't remember how fast it was.

  19. Joe W

    Smaller and smaller

    Except for the phones: they get bigger and bigger. And the SIM cards get smaller - go figure....

    As lots of people remarked: I also have at least one 64 MB USB stick, several below or around 1 GB, I even have a USB music player with... 128 MB of capacity. Had to resolder the audio connector after a year or less (that reminds me: have to do that to my tablet as well). One of the smaller USB sticks holds my GPG key pair and the revocation files, and is archived at a semi-safe-ish place.

    Oh, and to the gal complaining about sewn together blouse and trouser pockets: she-who-will-be-obeyed shares your pain, as do many of my female colleagues (those that do not walk around in the quasi-uniform of outdoor wear - _not_ the Jack Wolfskin skirt, mind you). And I have the same problems with new suits (the jacket, at least). And when I put on that stuff I constantly seem to forget my swiss army knife.

    1. Esme

      Re: Smaller and smaller

      @Joe W - upvote from me. Aye, it's an annoying problem, right enough. Even jeans or trousers that do have actual pockets (ie: not bits of sewing masquerading as pockets but actually non-functional) tend to have pockets so snug that they're only "usable" standing up, or only for small soft items, certainly not hulking great phones.

      For a while, I tended to put my phone in one of the upper, buttonable pockets of a shirt/jacket I'd bought, but when that phone died, the only second hand phone with a keyboard I could find that I could afford was too big to fit into that. Now I have to keep the unloved bastard piece of poorly designed technology in my handbag if i want to be sure I won't lose it in my everyday routine. Between stupidly large sizing and stupidly user-unfriendly software, it's almost as if they don't want people to use mobile phones, IMHO. Grrr..

  20. Flywheel Silver badge

    Get the missus involved!

    C'mon Mr Dabbs, you need to make this a family affair - if Mrs D can find a suitable nail bar, she can get your next batch of microSDHCs taken out the country safely, on her hands. The nail technician could decorate them beautifully.

    Why, if you can afford it, you could probably get her to carry up to 10Gbs-worth without fear of *cough* intrusive searches - that should be just enough space for a PowerPoint!

  21. The Boojum

    Somewhere in the cosmos, he said, along with all the planets inhabited by humanoids, reptiloids, fishoids, walking treeoids and superintelligent shades of the color blue, there was also a planet entirely given over to ballpoint USB Drive life forms. And it was to this planet that unattended ballpoint USB Drives would make their way, slipping away quietly through wormholes in space to a world where they knew they could enjoy a uniquely ballpoint USB Driveoid lifestyle, responding to highly ballpoint USB Drive-oriented stimuli, and generally leading the ballpoint USB Drive equivalent of the good life.

  22. herman Silver badge

    At least my 1MB Winchester was very hard to misplace.

  23. Robigus
    Happy

    Penetrating Kim Jong-il's inner circle.

    "His task in the late 1990s was to infiltrate Kim Jong-il's inner circle"

    What's the point of a microphone up there? Surely a it's a job for a camera.

  24. ICPurvis47
    Gimp

    Phones in shirt pockets

    I keep my Galaxy S3 Mini in the left breast pocket of my shirt. It has a curved back and a flat glass screen, so it only fits comfortably one way - with the glass towards my body. The trouble I find is that when someone rings me, and the screen goes live, I often accidentally answer by swiping with my left nipple. Similarly, if an alarm is set and triggers, for the next few minutes, until it goes to sleep again, every involuntary move on my part results in a series of bleats from inside my coat, which gets me some curious looks and smirks from nearby onlookers.

  25. Hey Nonny Nonny Mouse

    Just to clarify...

    Was its directionality dependent on the ability of the wearer to, ermm, 'point'?

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