back to article Don't get THAT personal, says personalised cards firm Moonpig. Dick pics. They mean dick pics

Online gift store Moonpig has implored its customers not to keep customising greetings cards with photos of their bits. The shop, which allows people to upload pictures to personalise their presents, apparently finds receiving dick pics as tedious as many other internet users. In the time-honoured Twitter tradition of using …

  1. disgustedoftunbridgewells Silver badge

    In my previous job, the office had a whip round and bought the boss a new mug featuring a scene from a gay porn film.

    The first firm refused to print it, but the second did.

    He proudly showed it off to clients when they visited ( yes, it was appropriate in that particularly industry and no the industry wasn't gay porn production ).

    1. Mike Brown

      Teabag Manufacturer?

    2. RGE_Master

      Ann Summers or some sort of other sex related industry? I HAVE TO KNOW!

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      HMRC? They do like to **** everyone in the ***

  2. joeW

    Marketing gimmick?

    The "Don't do this" tweet will get a lot of people thinking of creative ways to skirt around the prohibition, and of course they'll then proudly tweet about the resulting cards. Fantastic campaign, give the marketing-droid a raise.

  3. This post has been deleted by a moderator

    1. Version 1.0 Silver badge

      Re: T&Cs???

      Seriously - you think they didn't know how their abbreviations would be read?

      1. Jamie Jones Silver badge

        Re: T&Cs???

        ....flew over my head!

    2. smudge Silver badge
      Joke

      Re: T&Cs???

      C&A used to label their women's knickers so that customers would know which way round to wear them...

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: T&Cs???

        I heard they had a men’s pants brand called D&B for similar reasons

        1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

          Re: T&Cs???

          >men’s pants brand called D&B for similar reasons

          If they are on the front and back of your body - you should probably see a doctor.

          Or possibly get on Youtube

          1. MJI Silver badge
            Alien

            Re: T&Cs???

            I don't know about you but my Bottom is at the back.

            However if you are an Alien............

            1. horse of a different color

              Re: T&Cs???

              D&B => dick & balls! Although fair point, unless you like to wear your underpants backwards, like me.

  4. Version 1.0 Silver badge

    No such thing as "bad" publicity

    I would expect they will see a nice uptick in users - do Kavanaugh's accusers have a accounts with them? Probably not but the trolls will be signing up soon.

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Now how am I going to send out my Happy Dickday cards?

    1. illiad

      Get of your lazy ass and make it your self!! most printers will take good card to make them!!

      Large 'photo-paper' will do..

      Or don't BE a MUG, make your own one!! :D

      just buy a good BLANK mug, and some 'transfer paper'... here is how... :)

      https://www.wikihow.com/Make-Photo-Mugs

      1. Jedit
        Trollface

        "Large 'photo-paper' will do.."

        I don't know that he needs LARGE photo-paper. I suspect passport sized would suffice.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: "Large 'photo-paper' will do.."

          I can resize it using gimp. There's also programs I can use on the computer.

          1. Jedit
            Gimp

            "I can resize it using gimp."

            When did this become about your sex life?

        2. illiad

          Re: "Large 'photo-paper' will do.."

          It was about a congrats card - the PAPER ones are around 6" square... so you need to buy it large enough to make a decent card...

  6. anothercynic Silver badge
    Pint

    I will give both FP and MP social media teams kudos...

    Their GIF game is strong. And appropriate. With appropriate humour. :-)

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Mine...

    that "contains material which is pornographic, obscene, indecent or offensive".

    Hmm, has never starred in a port movie, is well behaved and has never cause offense... So that's alright then.

    1. Chris King Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: Mine...

      "Hmm, has never starred in a port movie..."

      Ships going in out, and depositing seamen ?

      Yes, it's the one that looks like a flasher mac ->

  8. Zippy´s Sausage Factory
    Pint

    To be fair, a lot of people on Twitter were suggesting this might have been a publicity stunt. In which case, I'd say well done, it's worked!

    1. magickmark
      Paris Hilton

      "But it's all done in the best possible taste" - Cupid Stunt aka Kenny Everett

  9. Arthur the cat Silver badge

    But it's art!

    Given that Courbet's L'Origine du monde (Warning: NSFW) has been in the news lately, would they print that?

  10. Crisp Silver badge

    Does this prohibition cover dildos?

    I'm asking for a friend...

  11. lee harvey osmond

    T&Cs?

    Well yes.

    As a previous commentard could have remarked but didn't, it may be against their T&Cs, but what about T&As?

    1. phuzz Silver badge
      IT Angle

      Re: T&Cs?

      One of our customers has a "Time and attendance" system.

      Cue funny looks from me when I'm first asked to check out the "T and A server".

  12. chivo243 Silver badge
    Devil

    Recipient: Stormy Daniels

    why is there a mushroom in the photo?

    1. onefang Silver badge

      Re: Recipient: Stormy Daniels

      "why is there a mushroom in the photo?"

      That's not a mushroom.

    2. GruntyMcPugh Silver badge

      Re: Recipient: Stormy Daniels

      @Chivo243: "Recipient: Stormy Daniels, why is there a mushroom in the photo?"

      You'd have thought with such small hands it would look bigger,.... but still no.

  13. Chris King Silver badge

    The "Last Chicken In The Shop" Look

    Is that something you'd REALLY want to go for in a greetings card ?

  14. andy gibson

    Moonpig are rubbish

    I sent them a brilliant animated GIF for a card. Did it get printed animated? Did it bugger.

    1. illiad

      Re: Moonpig are rubbish

      andy gibson, I think your brain is not working properly... LOLOLOL

      print out the GIF on your printer , it should work !!! :):):):)

      1. Martin Summers Silver badge

        Re: Moonpig are rubbish

        "andy gibson, I think your brain is not working properly... LOLOLOL"

        I believe the word "whoosh" is appropriate here. Don't get me started on the LOLs.

  15. Sixtysix
    Happy

    LOVE the response from Funkypigeon!

    LOL

    Also: Nice to see competitors playing nicely together!

  16. Ima Ballsy
    Childcatcher

    Welll ......

    Seems they are just being pricks about the whole thing !

  17. msknight Silver badge

    "now the seed has been firmly planted in their minds."

    And I've been doing it wrong all these years...

  18. Antron Argaiv Silver badge
    Alert

    Points to the guy who asked about pop-up cards.

    Boys, we have discussed this several times before. While *you* may think everyone would appreciate a color image of your little friend, it turns out that women, as a rule, are not as appreciative as you might hope. It's sad, but they seem to be wired differently, and prefer flowers and chocolate rather than anatomical close-ups.

    So, please, guys, take this advice to heart, and enjoy better and "less arresty" interactions with that lady you've been trying to impress.

    No need to thank me, we're all in this together

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      What makes you think they are being sent to women? Don't jump to heteronormative conclusions.

    2. Spazturtle Silver badge

      I find the assumption that only men were sending pictures of their dicks to people offensive and gender exclusionary. How do you know that no women were sending pictures of their dicks to people?

      1. KLane
        Joke

        Re:

        I'm quite sure some women were sending pictures of their husbands (dicks) that ordered these!

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      I'd wager that it also turns out that men, as a rule, don't want to see your dick pics either so maybe women aren't wired so differently after all.

      1. Sgt_Oddball Silver badge

        You're not allowed to send pictures of Richards? My father would be mildly disappointed.

        Would the ban also include fruit based spunge pudding?

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      "[...] it turns out that women, as a rule, are not as appreciative as you might hope."

      A feminist friend was quite sanguine about passing men checking out her ample frontage. She said she really didn't notice - as she was simultaneously checking out their "package".

  19. MJI Silver badge

    What about Dick and Dom, Dick Van Dyke?

    Are those Dicks allowed?

    1. Cynic_999 Silver badge

      Re: What about Dick and Dom, Dick Van Dyke?

      And how about Hugh Jardon?

  20. 45RPM Silver badge

    What about hog bottoms?

    It is in their name, after all, so surely it can’t be against their T&Cs…

  21. earl grey Silver badge
    Devil

    Is that first picture Arthur?

    Inquiring minds want to know.

    for a friend, of course.

  22. caffeine addict Silver badge

    I tried to get cards of my junk for 144 family and friends. Moonpig sent me some bull about the Royal Mail and gross indecency...

    1. Montreal Sean

      @caffeine addict

      Unfriend one of your cousins then it won't be so gross.

  23. Martin Summers Silver badge

    Never mind greetings cards, what about the companies that print postcards from an app and send them out. Now that'd be something.

  24. illiad

    caffeine addict - if by 'junk' you mean your dick, what would you say if your friend sent you a pic of HIS, and it is bigger, what would you say???? LOL

    you can MAKE YOUR OWN... :) so if you are fired or deserted, it is then your OWN FAULT!! :):)

    https://www.wikihow.com/Make-Photo-Mugs

  25. Ken Moorhouse Silver badge

    Did all this start...

    ...round about the start of the UKIP conference?

  26. tiggity Silver badge

    Terms

    A bit open to misinterpretation based on these snippets

    not allowed to upload any personalisation that "contains material which is pornographic, obscene, indecent or offensive".

    Nor are you allowed to use anything that "may harass, upset, embarrass or alarm any person".

    What is "indecent" etc. depends who you ask.

    As for "upset, embarass" (etc) - a card with Farage, BoJo, Maybot, David Davis, The Donald etc. would upset me, but fleshy body parts would not.

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