back to article UKIP flogs latex love gloves: Because Brexit means Brexit

The UK Independence Party is flogging multi-packs of rubber johnnies bearing the mug of former leader Nigel Farage. It is also unloading single packs for those more realistic about their chances of bedding someone this weekend or beyond. The prophylactics, being peddled by UKIP’s youth wing - Young Independence – from their …

  1. BitCoward

    Appropriate seeing as our future prospects have been shafted

    fuck fuck fuckety fucking Brexit.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Appropriate seeing as our future prospects have been shafted

      We'd be way more fucked in 10 years without it. But still, Farage as a prophylactic is just yuck.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Appropriate seeing as our future prospects have been shafted

      Fucking GREAT brexit.

    3. macjules Silver badge

      Re: Appropriate seeing as our future prospects have been shafted

      On the back: “Made in the EU for UKIP”

      1. codejunky Silver badge
        Joke

        Re: Appropriate seeing as our future prospects have been shafted

        @ macjules

        On the back: “Made in the EU for UKIP”

        Wouldnt that be UKIP throwing them a bone?

    4. Mr Han

      Re: Appropriate seeing as our future prospects have been shafted

      I nearly upvoted you but I couldn't bring myself to change the 69 upvotes. Sorry.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    does not compute

    Sex and Farage in the same sentence does not compute!

    1. John Mangan

      Re: does not compute

      I think the Pauli Exclusion Principle may come into play here.

    2. K Silver badge

      Re: does not compute

      What do you mean? He's got a grin like a p0rn-star expecting a facial (frowned eyes, with a fake teeth-grin, just waiting for the impact!)

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: does not compute

      Use it as free delay spray. Just have a quick glance, should stop the jesters shoes ringing for a few more moments...

      1. Ken Moorhouse Silver badge

        Re: jesters shoes

        Never come across that one before

        1. illiad

          Re: jesters shoes

          https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=jesters-shoes

          it refers to curling ones toes when you get off!... :)

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: does not compute

      "Sex and Farage in the same sentence does not compute!"

      The value of Farage on a prophylactic is that not only will no sperm pass but also that both parties are put off completely by his visage.

      I take back what I said about him being a complete waste of space, even here he fails to live up to expectations.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    To be honest...

    This is a great idea: I truly hope that anyone who voted for brexit doesn't breed

    1. John Mangan

      Re: To be honest...

      If the demographics are to be believed for most of them it's much too late anyway.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: To be honest...

        racists or dithering old biddies that want ration books back?

    2. Neil Barnes Silver badge

      Re: To be honest...

      Fair point, well made.

      And anyway, surely they mean a 'hard brentry' even though that's possibly a little off-message for the brexiteers...

      1. John Mangan

        Re: To be honest...

        I suppose they do stop immigrants at a border?

        Too much?

  4. BigSLitleP

    Don't need a condom.....

    Farage's face puts me off the thought of sex completely.

    1. msknight Silver badge

      Re: Don't need a condom.....

      Farage's face puts a lot of people off thought, full stop.... because they seem to stop thinking and believe everything that comes out of his mouth.

      What I can't comprehend is what they then think when, after the event, he denies having said what he said, even when presented with the video evidence of him saying what he said. I mean... you can't be capable of independent thought, and also square away that kind of behaviour.

      Sorry darling, thinking about Farage has given me a headache.

      1. Addanc
        Happy

        Re: Don't need a condom.....

        Examples lies please?

      2. Mark 85 Silver badge

        Re: Don't need a condom.....

        What I can't comprehend is what they then think when, after the event, he denies having said what he said, even when presented with the video evidence of him saying what he said. I mean... you can't be capable of independent thought, and also square away that kind of behavior'

        So he's just like every other politician in the world including the "leader" here in the States?

    2. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

      Re: Don't need a condom.....

      Is Farage's face on the actual condom, or just on the packet? I mean, just the packet is bad enough, but - oh dear I feel ill.

      1. Sgt_Oddball Silver badge

        Re: Don't need a condom.....

        Total dick move.

        Maybe it's a way of showing that Farage isn't a wanker?

        Though with his face on a packet that's what you'll end up being if you pull that out...

      2. Chris G Silver badge

        Re: Don't need a condom.....

        Farage's face on the condoms would be perfect for back door entry.

    3. Dave K Silver badge

      Re: Don't need a condom.....

      On the other hand, giving everyone a good fucking and Nigel Farage do go together nicely...

    4. paulf Silver badge
      Alert

      Re: Don't need a condom.....

      Having a picture of a massive cock on a condom packet does make some sense I suppose?

  5. Simon Harris Silver badge
    Coat

    Farage condoms?

    Surely brexiters use the withdrawl method.

    Mines the one that doesn't have a pregnancy test kit in the pocket ------->

    1. John Mangan
      Thumb Up

      Re: Farage condoms?

      R.E.S.P.E.C.T

  6. smudge Silver badge
    Childcatcher

    No need

    Surely he has already f**ked the entire country?

    1. VinceH Silver badge

      Re: No need

      I thought that was Boris - isn't that why he's now separated; because his wife found out?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: No need

        They both spitroasted the country.

        Anonymous because that's probably the most disgusting comment I've posted here in over 10 years and I don't want it to come back and haunt me like Brexit will to everyone that voted for it.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Presumably for use in case of a Brexit induced "erotic spasm" (or "exotic spresm" for Sir Vince)

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    This makes sense really because when I think of who is the biggest cock, farage always springs to mind.

  9. codejunky Silver badge
    Joke

    Ha

    Good idea! Seems to have got the dicks out!

  10. RobertLongshaft

    Remoaners - YOU LOST. LOSERS. GET OVER IT.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      51.89% vs 48.11% is not a resounding victory and its certainly not "the Will of the People".

      1. gotes

        Is BBC Have Your Say making a guest appearance at the Reg today?

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        51.89% v 48.11% is a close percentage

        But it's more than most governments manage to get and they're happy to call it a resounding mandate.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: 51.89% v 48.11% is a close percentage

          It's a bigger percentage than the French got when they voted to join the EU, if one is valid so is the other.

          1. Stoneshop Silver badge
            FAIL

            It's a bigger percentage than the French got when they voted to join the EU,

            France was one of the founding members of the EEC, which only 26 years later morphed into the EU.

            1. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: It's a bigger percentage than the French got when they voted to join the EU,

              France was one of the founding members of the EEC, which only 26 years later morphed into the EU.

              It was actually a founding member of the European coal & steel community which became the EEC 16 years later. 25 years after that they had a referendum on signing Maastricht, to turn the EEC into the EU. They passed that by less than 51% on a 71.1% turnout, so a closer shave than Brexit, yet no-one complains that it should have been rerun the year after just in case the result would change.

        2. Marco van de Voort

          Re: 51.89% v 48.11% is a close percentage

          But it is less to make far reaching, multi government changes, like constitution. One could argue Brexit is just that.

      3. Chris King Silver badge
      4. Addanc

        From the electoral commission:

        Remain: 16,141,241 (48.1%)

        Leave: 17,410,742 (51.9%)

        Total Electorate: 46,500,001

        Turnout: 72.2%

        Looks resounding to me!

      5. SImon Hobson Silver badge

        51.89% vs 48.11% is not a resounding victory

        Actually, it's not really 48%, in actual fact only 34.7% of eligible voters voted to remain, with about 27.8% not voting and who have to be assumed to be happy with "whatever the outcome is". So there's an argument that around 65% were happy to leave - 65-35 is a somewhat higher margin !

        But, the remoaners say, "that's not valid". When you can argue that, but if someone really did want to stay, they should have cast their vote - if they didn't then they should be assumed to be happy with the outcome of the vote by those that did actually vote. I think we can be sure that had the vote been similarly tight the other way, remoaners would be quick to point out that less than 35% of voters actually voted to leave.

        1. Joe W

          As a non-Brit:

          What was that with the "not a binding referendum"?

          I still don't get it... might be because it is not my mother tongue.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            What was that with the "not a binding referendum"?

            You mean "ask people what they want, and ignore the answer if it doesn't suit you"? That's a very EU-style approach, and is an excellent example of why we want to leave the empire.

          2. VinceH Silver badge

            'What was that with the "not a binding referendum"?'

            The referendum was supposed to be non binding in that it was supposed to be advisory only - which (oversimplified) means the result would be looked upon as the advice or suggestion of the people. On that basis, the result should have led the government to start looking at the possibility of leaving the EU, all the possible methods and degrees of doing so, before deciding whether to go ahead (or returning to the public to say "these are our options... what do you think?")

            Perhaps more importantly, because it was supposed to be only advisory, it was argued in Parliament that there doesn't need to be a super majority result. The point of a super majority is to ensure there is absolutely no doubt - including a greatly reduced margin for error when taking into account the number of people who didn't bother to vote. A win for either side that is as marginal as that of our EU referendum, when 28% of the people didn't vote, is one that shouldn't be considered a clear win either way - and certainly not one that will change this country in such a fundamental way.

            1. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              "The referendum was supposed to be non binding"

              NOT TRUE.

              Cameron changed that with his big mouth.

              He proclaimed the result would stand and be followed, believing Project Fear would work !!!

              Stop editting history to suit your arguments, the internet proves otherwise if you want to check.

              1. VinceH Silver badge
                Facepalm

                ""The referendum was supposed to be non binding"

                NOT TRUE."

                I'm perfectly well aware that David Cameron did a stupid by saying it would be honoured, and quite a big one knowing that there are an awful lot of people out there that don't understand the due process behind which such things are brought about. But I was talking about that due process, and the legal status of the referendum as debated in and brought into being through an act of parliament, to answer the question that was asked about what the term meant.

                The bottom line is that the referendum was legally only advisory. The government did not have to act upon it, but chose to do so - with too much haste and too little planning.

                "Cameron changed that with his big mouth."

                Don't forget how the law is made in this country. The PM doesn't make or change laws by opening his (or her) big mouth. If they could, we'd probably all be in an even worse situation than we are now.

                1. cyberdemon
                  Devil

                  Non-binding it may be, but we're still doomed.

                  With the amount of vitriol swirling round since the vote leave campaign, if the government tried to back-pedal now there would be civil unrest..

                  But then again, when we actually leave, there will still be civil unrest because we won't be able to buy enough gas to keep the power on, and the price of food will have doubled because we fundamentally don't have enough land to grow our own, and we can't import spanish grain to make our supposedly 'british' meat & dairy..

                  In a country so precariously balanced that it risks societal collapse if the Internet went off for a few weeks (in my humble opinion), this is a truly horrifying prospect!

                  At which point, thanks to the wonderful way global finance now works, the pound could go the way of the zimbabwean dollar.

                  The only answer is to build yourself a fortress, buy up all the property at rock-bottom prices with your off-shore assets, and then wait it out while the proles murder their neighbours for the last tin of baked beans. But that only works if you're rich like rees-mogg.

                  1. VinceH Silver badge

                    Re: Non-binding it may be, but we're still doomed.

                    As you say, there's a good chance we'll see civil unrest in the two main opposing scenarios: If the government just turns around and says "No, we've decided we're not leaving after all" or if they end up taking us out and people become worse off and unable to afford basic necessities due to job losses and rising prices. (And ironically, I think the people most likely to be involved would largely be in the intersection of a Venn diagram of both).

                    That's why I honestly believe that the so-called "People's Vote" option is probably the best way forward now. It isn't back-pedalling to say to the voting public "Look, we've listened to you, and we're going to listen to you again - this is what's on the table, so what do you think?"

                    There's still a possibility of civil unrest in that scenario, but it's the least likely to lead to it, and if it does it would probably be the least amount.

                    But since our PM is more interested in trying to keep her party healthy, rather than the country she and it serves, I might have to learn about gardening, and growing my own veg.

                    1. Ken Moorhouse Silver badge

                      Re: "People's Vote"

                      I'm all for that. The only problem is what the choices will be?

                      If that is designed by committee we may end up EITHER with a ballot paper with too many choices that will dilute the impact of the final result, or even yield a misleading result OR the wording on the possibilities may not be balanced enough to swing it in the direction that the electorate collectively wish for (being careful of my wording here - bias on the choices is counter productive).

                      One way or another the Polling Stations will have to start sharpening their pencils. As I see it, the only way there won't be any need for them is if May gets her way and she gets lauded as "the negotiator that brought the EU to its knees." She's not going to be allowed to do that due to the fact that this current uncertainty cannot be allowed to continue without having dire economic consequences.

                      1. Stoneshop Silver badge
                        Devil

                        If that is designed by committee

                        you may have that People's Vote in, um, 2022 at the earliest.

                      2. VinceH Silver badge

                        Re: "People's Vote"

                        "I'm all for that. The only problem is what the choices will be?"

                        That is the question. (Or was it "to be or not to be?" I forget.)

                        But being serious, you are quite right - do it wrong, and it's likely to get us in an even bigger mess. It has to be thought out carefully, and worded correctly, with no bias and in such a way that it is fair. No hint of "based on what we now know" or any reference to the 2016 outcome and whether it was "overwhelming" or "marginal", etc.

                        The problem is, the longer things go on as now, the less time there is to prepare for such a vote - and (should it happen) the more rushed that vote becomes. And I think we're more likely to see another snap election first (which there are now murmurings about) - and that'll just mess things up further.

                        I think what I'm saying here is: Bottom line, we're fucked.

                  2. Anonymous Coward
                    Anonymous Coward

                    Re: Non-binding it may be, but we're still doomed.

                    doubled because we fundamentally don't have enough land to grow our own,

                    Urban myth. We don't currently grow all we eat, in part because we like eating out-of-season food like asparagus at Christmas, and in part because the Common Agricultural Policy distorts production in EU countries. We're perfectly capable of growing the food we need, even if remoaners nonsensical FUD about being unable to buy from elsewhere were true.

                    Too many gullible people really seem to believe that Europe only exists because of the EU, but like Americans who think "the world" = "the USA" you need to open your eyes and stop believing the propaganda.

                    1. Hans 1 Silver badge
                      FAIL

                      Re: Non-binding it may be, but we're still doomed.

                      You could not even muster enough people to pick strawberries this season and you are blocking the Poles from coming in as of March, who is gonna come and work on the farm, now, you or your idle kids ?

                      1. Anonymous Coward
                        Anonymous Coward

                        Re: Non-binding it may be, but we're still doomed.

                        You could not even muster enough people to pick strawberries this season and you are blocking the Poles from coming in as of March, who is gonna come and work on the farm, now, you or your idle kids ?

                        That's a Europe-wide problem unrelated to Brexit. French winegrowers are complaining that no-one wants to pick grapes (50,000-worker shortfall this month, according to the press), with similar problems in Portugal.

                        Too many snowflakes that are unwilling to put in a decent day's hard work. When they find that they can't eat their smartphones they may learn to feel differently.

                    2. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

                      Re: Non-binding it may be, but we're still doomed.

                      remoaners

                      What is it with the cretins continually using this word? Don't they have any original, creative insults to use?

                      Or are they, as their attitude would seem to suggest, stuck as eternal 10-year-olds who have just read about the British Empire for the first time?

                    3. Cynic_999 Silver badge

                      Re: Non-binding it may be, but we're still doomed.

                      "

                      Urban myth. We don't currently grow all we eat, in part because we like eating out-of-season food like asparagus at Christmas, and in part because the Common Agricultural Policy distorts production in EU countries. We're perfectly capable of growing the food we need, even if remoaners nonsensical FUD about being unable to buy from elsewhere were true.

                      "

                      Even if that were true, all that food will not do us much good when it is rotting in the fields because there's insufficient seasonal immigrant labour available to harvest it.

          3. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            I will explain again ......

            Joe W,

            A referendum is non-binding usually BUT Cameron stated the result would be binding and that is the problem that the remainers cannot fix or apparently accept as reality.

            If Cameron had not been so arrogant and kept his mouth shut he could have wriggled out of applying the result. [It would have caused some moaning from the leave voters but Brits do not riot in the streets over such things.]

            The tories are at fault BUT blaming the 'vote leave' voters satisfies the remainers more.

            [They also ignore the young voters who could have changed the result but could not be bothered to vote ...... then complained about the result when it was explained to them.]

            TL;DR

            Tories then non-voting 'young voters' are to blame but cannot do this so blame 'leave voters' !!!

            You can downvote now ....... but you cannot change the truth .... or the vote :) ;)

        2. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

          with about 27.8% not voting and who have to be assumed to be happy with "whatever the outcome is".

          That's a pretty huge assumption. You could also make the assumption that all of the non-voters were happy with the status quo and felt their vote wasn't required because no one would be so stupid as to vote leave without a plan in place, or at least a skeleton of a plan. But, of course, that doesn't fit your cosy world-view, does it?

          The reality is that no one knows why people didn't vote or what their intentions might have been had they voted.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            The reality is that no one knows why people didn't vote or what their intentions might have been had they voted.

            Exactly, which is why they have to be considered as "don't cares" and ignored when tallying results.

      6. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Erm,

        yes, it is.

      7. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: 51.89% vs 48.11%

        is not a resounding victory and its certainly not "the Will of the People".

        But it is a greater proportion of the electorate than any government who signed the various treaties that got us into Europe ever got.

        If you want to halt the decision on that basis you have to also accept that the original treaties were democratically invalid as well - and in fact there is a very clear legal position that the act of taking us in, in the first please was Ultra vires for a UK government, and de facto treason.

        .

        1. jaduncan

          Re: 51.89% vs 48.11%

          Literally nothing is ultra vires for Parliament under English law, that's the central concept of Parliamentary sovereignty. If you have no legal training (and you obviously do not) you should probably not attempt to use legal terminology in some kind of cargo cult impression of any understanding at all.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      You sir, are a little boy. You shouldn’t haven’t been allowed to vote.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        :)

        Clog dancing across bridges since...

    3. Loyal Commenter Silver badge
      FAIL

      I think you missed your icon there Mr. ShoutyCaps->

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Aren't condoms for re-moaners? especially the 4 pack. Seems at odds with your comment.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        ffs "moaners"/"Condoms", do I really have to spell it out to polarised people?

        It's Brexit, it'll all be ok, we have Lancashire cheese to barter with.

    5. tfewster Silver badge
      Facepalm

      @ RobertTheDick

      Brexiters - YOU WON. GET ON WITH IT.

      Except they haven't, have they? They've spent the 2 years meant to prepare for Brexit on talking about what Brexit means, leaving 0 time to actually prepare.

      It's time to recognise that Brexit is impossible at the moment. Blame the EU, blame us remoaners - I don't care, just hit the brakes until the "Will of the People" can be implemented properly.

    6. Chris G Silver badge

      @ RobertLongshaft

      "Remoaners - YOU LOST. LOSERS. GET OVER IT"

      So, what exactly do you think you have won?

    7. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

      YOU LOST. LOSERS. GET OVER IT

      Why does every brexiteer seem to say this all the time? Are they feeling inadequate?

      PS: The last time someone said that to me IRL was when I was about 10 and had just come second in an 800m race. I would have hoped that those who have reached voting age might have grown up a bit more than a 10 year-old but it looks like disappointment springs eternal..

  11. frank 3

    What's the age limit?

    For being a member of UKIP's youth wing?

    Is it the under 65s?

  12. Chris King Silver badge
    Coat

    UKIP Condoms

    For when you want to screw the country but not worry about any unintended consequences.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: UKIP Condoms

      "[...] but not worry about any unintended consequences."

      but not worry about any unintended consequences.

      FTFY

    2. Rich 11 Silver badge

      Re: UKIP Condoms

      priced at £1 each or 4 for £2

      A snip at half the price.

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    So, I take it people are aware that in the last year or so a bunch of internet trolls and their followers have taken effective control of UKIP?

    I imagine they're laughing at this article right now.

    Anon because don't poke the troll.

    1. Chris King Silver badge
      Holmes

      "So, I take it people are aware that in the last year or so a bunch of internet trolls and their followers have taken effective control of UKIP?

      Business as usual then, I see.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Business as usual?

        Not quite.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Yes but so are the rest of us... at them

    3. Loyal Commenter Silver badge

      I'm pretty sure there was always a pretty large intersection between UKIP members and internet trolls, particularly those who like to post on forums in barely understandable gibberish with RANDOMLY interspersed ALL CAPS!!!!11!!eleventyone!!11

      See also: Youtube commenters.

      1. Addanc

        Provide an argument for remain based on real world facts and/or data, i.e. no opinions and no FUD?

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Sure...

          https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/jan/24/ukip-uk-dress-code-nigel-farage

          Edit: Waiting for the fake news angle.

        2. Rich 11 Silver badge

          Provide an argument for remain based on real world facts and/or data,

          Sure. We retain a stable economy by remaining part of the largest free trade bloc on the planet. We retain the influence we have on the global stage as part of the EU. Given our population size and the size of our economy, we effectively share the leadership and direction of the EU with France and Germany, so we have far greater influence within the EU than nine-tenths of the members. Much of this is determined through the Council of Ministers, where you can see that in the ten years prior to 2016 decisions went our way 87% of the time (a figure which any British government would have been proud of in Westminster over that same period).

          i.e. no opinions and no FUD?

          Now you provide the argument for leaving, based upon real-world facts and data, without resorting to opinion and FUD.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Internet rolls

        Whereas remoaner trolls (the majority of posters here today) are essentially all part of the same media establishment and its hegemony that pumps out carefully crafted bullshit...

        Of which this is probably an example.

        1. Chris G Silver badge

          Re: Internet rolls

          I personally am not part of any establishment media or otherwise, I generally distrust the mainstream media as they tend to take whatever stance their owners and the Establishment want them to (in my opinion).

          Most of the remainers that I know tend to be people who have some understanding of free trade, co-operation with international partners and the fact that Europe as a community is far stronger than the sum of it's parts both strategically and economically. Remainers tend not to be xenophobic eugenicists and understand a concept known as hybrid strength.

          Go wave a flag.

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Will they also demand full posh attire at the theatre while trying to get the common mans vote?

  14. Mystic Megabyte Silver badge
    WTF?

    Well you wouldn't need lube, he exudes slime. Ugh!

  15. Chronos Silver badge

    Farage

    I always said the man was a knobsack.

    1. TRT Silver badge

      Re: Farage

      It has a teat on it.

  16. 45RPM Silver badge

    Don’t know much biology but…

    How much risk is there that they’d get their hand pregnant? Coz I can’t see much chance of the young UKIPer being allowed to put it anywhere else…

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Don’t know much biology but…

      That alone shows you that this is not a serious article, but is faux news spread by anti-UKIP anti-Brexit elements in El Regs team.

      1. PeterGriffin

        Re: Don’t know much biology but…

        And?

        Vote Leave won the opportunity to fuck our country. We'll never be grateful for that. Whatever you "won" all we will get is less than we had. Even the government admits that.

    2. VinceH Silver badge

      Re: Don’t know much biology but…

      "How much risk is there that they’d get their hand pregnant? Coz I can’t see much chance of the young UKIPer being allowed to put it anywhere else…"

      I asked the same question twice yesterday in response to seeing comments/pictures - although I was a touch more blunt. I simply asked: "Why do wankers need condoms?"

      1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge
        Coat

        Re: Don’t know much biology but…

        "Why do wankers need condoms?"

        It saves on tissues?

  17. lafnlab
    Coat

    I guess they're useful for someone who wants to pull out but doesn't know how.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Theresa May is way too old to need to worry about condoms.

  18. Ken Moorhouse Silver badge

    She says...

    "Wow! What a prick"

    "Why, thank you"

    "No, not you, that image on the wrapper"

  19. MJI Silver badge

    Not needed

    Most out voters I know are too old to breed or are not marriage material.

    So not needed.

  20. Teiwaz Silver badge

    Could be worse

    Reese Mogg dildos

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Could be worse

      Corbyn butt plugs?

      1. Teiwaz Silver badge

        Re: Could be worse

        Corbyn butt plugs?

        Doesn't really match the marketing theme of Brexit leadership inspired marital aides.

        I've no idea which way the opposition would jump on brexit though too often in the last few years they've not opposed or abstained over the stupider pieces of legislation (new and new old labour).

      2. MJI Silver badge

        Re: Could be worse

        That is called a garden gnome

  21. Rob Moir

    I always thought Farage was one of the inspirations for birth control.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: I always thought Farage

      was one of the inspirations for birth control.

      You are confusing him with the current Labour cabinet...

  22. jonfr

    UKIP are criminals

    Based on what I am seeing it clear that UKIP is a group of criminals pretending to be political party. Once UK rejoins the EU in few years (2025 - 2030) UKIP and political parties that are like them are going to in the dustbin of history.

    1. Mycho Silver badge

      Once UK rejoins the EU in few years

      @jonfr

      What makes you think we'll let you back in?

      1. Toni the terrible

        Re: Once UK rejoins the EU in few years

        I dunno after the war with putin's russia they may need some of the little resouces we still have

        1. Chris G Silver badge

          Re: Once UK rejoins the EU in few years

          If Europe is in a war with Russia, the only resource the UK will have is glass, that and a few radioactive Highland or Welsh sheep.

          The UK is only leaving the EU not NATO.

      2. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

        Re: Once UK rejoins the EU in few years

        What makes you think we'll let you back in?

        Our cute and winning personalities?

  23. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge
    Joke

    Young Tories

    May get the idea and market rubber johnnies bearing the mug of former leader David Cameron...

  24. Eeep !

    Kitemark?

    Assuming the UKIP purchasers would want to know it wasn't just CE.

  25. Chronos Silver badge
    Stop

    Heh.

    Surely a condom means you don't have to pull out? Who thought this was a good match to their member-ship?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Heh.

      This is why I figured one of their internet shitposters was involved.

      Dankula gave a speech at the conference after all.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Heh.

        Please don't encourage the National Socialist Parents' Basement Party by linking to them. Thank you.

  26. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I can only think of two reasons anyone would want to remain in the EU - ignorance or stupidity.

    It's disfunctional and heavily undemocratic. I won't bother saying more, as this panel of MEPs of will explain it far better: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RbUGej05bLA

    1. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

      It's disfunctional and heavily undemocratic

      Like Westminster you mean? One house utterly unelected but rather selected from amongst the cronies of the present government and the other filled with people who are commanded not to vote how their voters wish but rather along pre-determined party lines?

      Very little about our current system is terribly democratic (probably becuase it doesn't work terribly well with large groups of people - even the ancient Greek Democracies didn't work terribly well and they were only small groups of citizens.)

  27. jerryr

    Condoms from a protestant youth group

    There was a similar case last year in Germany. A protestant youth group had packets printed with the best known quote of Luther's "Here I stand, I can do nothing else". The bishop wasn't amused, and had the articles impounded.

    A report (in German) is to be seen on https://www.zeit.de/news/2017-03/17/kirche-kirche-stoppt-kondome-mit-luther-spruechen-17145406

    Jerry

  28. Potemkine! Silver badge

    Very good idea, let's them distribute as many condoms as possible. The less they will reproduce the better.

  29. Wolfclaw Silver badge

    UKIP served it's purpose and needs to too just die a graceful death. We need a true 3rd political option, that isn't contaminated by the usual poltical faces jumping ship from other parties and ending up with another LibDem waste of space !

  30. Jedit
    Trollface

    Instructions for use

    1) Open packet carefully to avoid damage to the condom.

    2) Hold the condom by the nipple and gently roll it over the head of the penis.

    3) Do not remove until he stops breathing.

  31. Pat Harkin
    Coat

    Back in 2010, boy band JLS released their own branded condoms https://www.amazon.co.uk/JLS-Durex-Extra-Safe-Condoms/dp/B007FMGC4E

    It was said to be the perfect brandsing exercise, as teenage girls would sob uncontrollably when they split...

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