back to article Apple in XS new sensation: Latest iPhone carries XS-sive price tag

Apple on Wednesday held its annual mobile device pageant at its Steve Jobs Theater in Cupertino to acquaint the fascinated with its latest fondleslabs, phones and wrist wraps. Despite the secrecy – which failed after developer Steve Troughton-Smith found Apple's products listed in an XML file on the company's website – and the …

  1. David 132 Silver badge

    "911? Help, I've been hurt in a fall"

    "I have severe injuries to my face and back, and I've lost a crown.

    Oh, and the meatsack who wears me might be injured, but who cares, AppleCare(TM) only applies to me..."

    1. Korev Silver badge
      Terminator

      Re: "911? Help, I've been hurt in a fall"

      When they studied the falls were they fake ones onto a crash mat or were they real ones with video or some kind of validation? Also, were they young or old people falling?

      I've been involved in clinical trials with accelerometers and detecting falls is very hard; not to mention the liability from missed falls and also false alarms.

      1. Eddy Ito Silver badge

        Re: "911? Help, I've been hurt in a fall"

        It will be interesting to see what the percentage of false alarms turns out to be as well as other statistics such as whether it can detect car crashes and the number of people who party a little too hard and pass out.

        Siri, how many folks are passed out at the pub this evening?

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      “It looks like you’ve had a bad fall!”

      “Apple advises you not to read our price list whilst standing up.”

  2. anothercynic Silver badge

    Let's see...

    ... How many iPhone 7s, iPhone 8s and iPhone Xs end up on Fleabay and/or how much some phone vendors will discount the old models...

    *looks at trusty old iPhone 6s whose battery apparently needs replacing*

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Thumb Up

      Re: Let's see...

      Cost of iPhone battery replacement for 6+ is £25. Just do that.

      1. ridley

        Re: Let's see...

        "Cost of iPhone battery replacement for 6+ is £25. Just do that."

        Who gives a downvote on that?

        1. Captain Scarlet Silver badge

          Re: Let's see...

          Someone who has brought into the you must throw it away and buy a new one philosophy

      2. anothercynic Silver badge
        Facepalm

        Re: Let's see...

        @tea hound,

        True, but you have to send it in, and Apple don't guarantee that you get your own phone back (they tell you that you must back it up in its entirety and then factory reset it and turn 'Find my iDevice' off).

        Given that I have some items in the secure enclave on the phone that I *really* *really* don't want to have to reset, I am loathe to swap the phone unless it's an upgrade. :-/

        Call me a... What exactly do you call someone like me? ;-)

        1. BrownishMonstr

          Re: Let's see...

          Resetting the device might be policy. When we had to send our Samsung Tab A in for repair under warranty they did the same stating privacy reasons.

    2. Eddy Ito Silver badge

      Re: Let's see...

      Apple still lists the iPhone 7 for [$,£]450 so I imagine it shouldn't be too hard to pick one up for about [$,£]350.

  3. Barry Rueger Silver badge

    Yawn....

    Surely I'm not the only person underwhelmed by this? The only one that looks at this and sees nothing more than incremental change?

    The whole smartphone market really has reached the point where it's flat, dull, and stable - which has to pose a problem when you're trying to shift phones at $1000+ a pop.

    1. bazza Silver badge

      Re: Yawn....

      The BBC is, as usual, fawning all over Apple at this exciting time...

      I see they've stayed true to the notch. It's moderately interesting, but only in a omg-I-can't-believe-Apple-are-still-fresh-out-of-good-ideas (aka omgicbaasfoogi) kind of way.

      1. Dave 126 Silver badge

        Re: Yawn....

        Yep, it's boring, but that's not a bad thing. It's the difficulty in bringing anything radically new to a pocket device (size and power constraints) that forces designers to look at the small details. Polishing away lots of little niggles can lead to a markedly better user experience over time. Or in Apple's case, include long missing g features such as waterproofing, wireless charging and multiple SIM support (this isn't a jibe, Apple have done done things first too, and often find them very well. I don't see value in being first for the sake of being first, but some features were long overdue).

        Look at Samsung - very little difference between the S8 and S9 other than the finger print sensor has been made slightly less awkward. Otherwise it's just a slightly better screen, slightly faster processor, slightly this, slightly that. And that's okay.

        If you want a crazy radical phone, wait til next year when Samsung and some if their Chinese partners roll out some phones with flexible displays. But the first generation with likely be clunky, poorly supported in software and not proven to be durable. I'll take boring.

        1. Warm Braw Silver badge

          Re: Yawn....

          a pocket device

          Increasingly hard on the pocket in more than one sense...

          1. Dave 126 Silver badge

            Re: Yawn....

            > Increasingly hard on the pocket in more than one sense...

            Sad to see Apple discontinuing the iPhone SE. Here's hoping that a successor is announced in a Winter / Spring event, as the original SE was.

    2. Boohoo4u

      Re: Yawn....

      How dare you sir!!!

      My iPhone 6s still works fine!

      Oh... I see your point.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Yawn....

      Yup. IMHO the Nokia 8110 4G is about the most exciting phone right now precisely because it's bullshit-free. Add a tethered tablet and you're golden for barely £300.

    4. Cuddles Silver badge

      Re: Yawn....

      "Surely I'm not the only person underwhelmed by this? The only one that looks at this and sees nothing more than incremental change?"

      To be fair, the jump to $1500 for a phone is a pretty big increment.

      "The whole smartphone market really has reached the point where it's flat, dull, and stable"

      People tend to comment on it now being a mature market, but I'm not convinced it wasn't born mature. My very first smartphone was an HTC Hero. Obviously the underlying hardware and software has improved since then, but I can't point at anything missing that would distinguish it from a modern phone. Hell, it has a removable battery, 3.5mm socket and accepts SD cards, so it's actually well ahead of many of them.

      It's not really smartphones and the market that have changed, but rather society. When smartphones were new, people saw them as exciting shiny things, and were happy to buy new ones regularly because they were even newer and shinier, even though they didn't actually bring anything new to the table. Now, they're just ubiquitous tools. Upgrades are no more or less meaningful than they used to be, most people simply stopped giving a shit.

    5. anothercynic Silver badge

      Re: Yawn....

      Oh, no Barry Rueger, you are definitely not the only one.

      Apple sent me a message to tell me that the event was starting on Twitter and I went... 'uhhhh, meh?'

      I know... so unusual for an Apple Fanboi, right? ;-)

  4. Andy Mac
    WTF?

    Doubling down on stupid prices too

    I was toying with the idea of upgrading. Now I’m not. Even I’m not idiot enough to pay that idiot-tax.

    I can’t see the Xr doing well. Who wants to pay premium prices for a sub-premium phone? It’s the 5c all over again.

    1. Grikath Silver badge

      Re: Doubling down on stupid prices too

      This.....

      Does it shoot laser beams, and can I attach it to a shark?

      No?

      Bugger off then....

      1. the Jim bloke Bronze badge
        Trollface

        Re: Doubling down on stupid prices too

        only if the shark stays within 2 metres of the surface, and not submerged for longer than 30 minutes.

        Flying sharks should be ok, as long as the impact of re-entering the water isnt too great.

        The laser beams are neither energetic nor particularly noticeable - otherwise the 'duckface unlock' feature would be far more amusing.

        Attachment to the shark can be achieved using a range of adhesives, strapping, or my personal favourite, a nine inch railway spike driven by a sledgehammer - although this may cause some discomfort to the shark.

  5. m0rt Silver badge

    ""Apple Watch is really redefining what a watch can do for you," said Cook."

    James Bond would disagree...

    1. Dazed and Confused Silver badge

      Re: redefining what a watch can do for you

      Can I use it to tell the time?

      OK, enough said, that's all I want.

      No honestly, that's what I want a watch to do, I want it to tell me the time.

      Anything else?

      Errrr yes, OK, it you insist, I don't want to worry about the batter more than say once every 5 years or so.

      Yawn. Can I go back to sleep now?

      1. AMBxx Silver badge

        Re: redefining what a watch can do for you

        >> Can I use it to tell the time?

        Only for the first 18 hours apparently.

        GPS reduces that to a mere 6 hours. Not unusual for me to use GPS for best part of 8 hours when hiking, think I'll stick to my trusty Samsung and Garmin.

        1. Casca

          Re: redefining what a watch can do for you

          Even better when you look att Suuntos new Watch. Up to 120 hours gps tracking.

      2. Bill Fresher

        Re: redefining what a watch can do for you

        Exactly - and a phone that only makes and receives calls, and a TV that only shows BBC1, in black and white.

      3. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: redefining what a watch can do for you

        "Anything else??"

        I'm a much more demanding user than you. I want a watch to tell me not just the time but the date too!

        1. Dazed and Confused Silver badge

          Re: redefining what a watch can do for you

          Anything else??"

          I'm a much more demanding user than you. I want a watch to tell me not just the time but the date too!

          I wound have been with you up until a couple of years ago. Sadly I can now only read the date on my watch when I'm wearing my glasses.

  6. nohatjim

    Head phone socket

    My iPhone 6s is going to need a new battery again soon. Until this phone. Upgraded each time the S version came out but loss of socket means no upgrade path.

    1. paulf Silver badge
      Unhappy

      Re: Head phone socket

      Same here - I'll be sorting out a replacement battery for my 6S+ before the cheap offer ends in December. That should keep me going for a few more years yet. If it hadn't been for the removal of the headphone socket I'd probably have updated to the iPhone 7S 8 last year. It might be a small point for some but I found the early smart phones (HTC and iPhone that I know of, and I'm sure others) use of a standard headphone socket refreshing and genuinely useful compared to the Nokia practice of every handset using a different proprietary standard for the headset connector.

      I'm just tired of the rehashed arguments against the headphone socket, "It's an obsolete standard", "use bluetooth headphones", "use the lightning to 3.5 jack adaptor", "It's brave innovation".

      "It might be old but it's not obsolete - comparisons with floppy disks are misleading (floppy disk storage capacity was long eclipsed by user requirements but audio can still travel along copper wires that terminate in a jack plug which connects to near enough any audio device)", "I don't want to spend money on new headphones to replace my Sennheiser HD-25s that will be something else that needs regular charging, plus carrying another charger", "Why should I need an adaptor for the basic action of listening to music on a fucking £700+ phone?", "removing useful functionality is not innovation (unless you're Apple)".

  7. MrBanana

    What now?

    Over a grand? For a phone? Fuck off.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: What now?

      The budget 5c was too budget, so they made an equally crap phone, and put a higher price tag on it, as morons still believe if it costs more, it must be better, and the richest company on the planet with only 12% market share, couldn't possibly be overcharging....

      1. The Pi Man

        Re: What now?

        The SE is an excellent phone - I still have a 5s, but a second gen SE with worthwhile upgrades is the only thing that will get me to part with cash. My 5s is nigh on perfect for my needs.

        1. SonOfDilbert

          Re: What now?

          Yes, agreed. I have an SE and it is perfect for my needs. It is reasonably powerful, the battery last two days on low power mode, it cost just over 1/3 of the iPone X and best of all, it fits easily into my pocket. Oh - and it also makes phone calls quite well, too.

    2. cornetman

      Re: What now?

      Over here in Canada, we calculate that the top-of-the line phone in CAD$ including tax and AppleCare will set you back a cool $2.5k.

    3. 45RPM Silver badge

      Re: What now?

      @MrBanana

      A grand is expensive - but is it too much? I’m not sure that it is. Bear with me on this. I’m about to indulge in some high octane devils advocacy.

      Once upon a time (the 1980s) a mobile phone cost as much as a car, a ‘humble’ ZX Spectrum cost the equivalent of 800 nicker (and still didn’t have any built in storage or a display). These costs covered R&D for hardware, R&D for software, manufacture (not in a sweatshop) and this mysterious thing called a ‘profit’.

      Nowadays, ‘free’ or as close to as possible is the preferred price point. No one wants to pay for software and shitty, cheaply built, hardware rules the roost. Sure, it doesn’t last long - it who cares? It was cheap! Yay! Many mobile phone manufacturers don’t make a profit - it’s a loss leader (for whom though, I wonder) and I wonder why they bother. Similarly, I can’t see the profit in a sub £100 tablet, and still these things get shovelled from sweatshop to landfill with a brief interlude with user.

      So I look back to the 1980s, when everything was better and we could cheerfully sing ‘Hold a Chicken in the Air’ whilst walking to the Grundig rental store because the telly wasn’t working and the Ford Orion has broken down again. Prices were higher, adjusted for inflation, but they were the right price - and it seems to me that competition today has driven prices to being too damn cheap.

      So yes, these new phones are expensive, no I can’t afford one (but, luckily, my iPhone siX is still quick and works perfectly) - but I don’t think that these new phones are too pricey for what they are. I’m sure that they’ll sell by the boatload - and look on the bright side, they’ll probably be cheaper than whatever gets pushed out next year!

      1. werdsmith Silver badge

        Re: What now?

        Average 5 pints of beer per week in a pub for a year £1000

        Two reasonable bottles of red wine per week for a year: £1000

        Cost of a 20 a day fag habit for a year £2000

        Cost of gym membership for a year £600

        Cost of a latest model iPhone if sold on after 1 or 2 years about £200

        1. SonOfDilbert

          Re: What now?

          > Cost of a latest model iPhone if sold on after 1 or 2 years about £200

          Seems to me that iPonies (and most Apple products) hold their value much better than this in the secondhand market.

          1. werdsmith Silver badge

            Re: What now?

            Seems to me that iPonies (and most Apple products) hold their value much better than this in the secondhand market.

            Post not clear enough and open to misinterpretation. £200 is how much it will cost the original buyer. For example, pay £1000 for it, sell it for £800. Assuming they buy the phone, as for many the cost price is irrevelant, they will buy it on a contract and have to wait to the end of their deal to recover the value in the phone.

            The main point being that because of its secondhand value a latest model iPhone will cost its buyer-from-new only a couple of hundred quid in depreciation. All these people choking on their kebabs at the price didn't think too deeply about it.

            1. eSeM

              Re: What now?

              iPhones are not holding their value the way they used to. You can already pick up an X on ebay for around £500 :-)

            2. Spazturtle Silver badge

              Re: What now?

              Selling it for £800 after 2 years would mean you only paid £100 a year for it though and per year price is what was being compared, so the poster was assuming it would sell for £600 after 2 years.

            3. ridley

              Re: What now?

              Anyone who pays 80% of the cost price for a two year old second hand item is more of a mug that the person paying £1000 for a phone. Its SH FFS.

          2. D@v3

            Re: second hand market

            certainly used to be the case, but i was (out of sheer curiosity) having a look around the webs this morning, to see how much i could sell my 64gb 6s, should i chose to, err, 'upgrade'. i was seeing offers between £80 and £100.

            OK, the 6s is now (counts on fingers) 5 generations old (!) (6s,7, 8, x, xs), but, as many others have said, still works fine, so i will be keeping it for now, and talking to the previous poster about what sounded like a beer subscription service.

        2. Spiz

          Re: What now?

          "Cost of a 20 a day fag habit for a year £2000"

          https://www.tesco.com/groceries/en-GB/products/295797532

          £11.00 x 365 = £4,015

          1. MachDiamond Silver badge

            Re: What now?

            ""Cost of a 20 a day fag habit for a year £2000"

            https://www.tesco.com/groceries/en-GB/products/295797532

            £11.00 x 365 = £4,015"

            Time to take a trip to Belgium and load the boot with cheap cigs.

            I wonder where I came up with all of the dosh to afford fags before I quit.

        3. GruntyMcPugh Silver badge

          Re: What now?

          @werdsmith: "Cost of a latest model iPhone if sold on after 1 or 2 years about £200"

          "BRITISH PEOPLE SPEND OVER £680 MILLION EVERY YEAR FIXING BROKEN PHONE SCREENS, SURVEY CLAIMS"

          https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/gadgets-and-tech/news/broken-phone-screen-fix-iphone-cost-price-uk-a8536236.html

        4. MachDiamond Silver badge

          Re: What now?

          Cost of a cheap used phone on eBay £25

          Cost of two cheap used phone on eBay £50

          The real difference being a nice holiday for a week somewhere sunny.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Thumb Up

        Quote of the year...

        “...these things get shovelled from sweatshop to landfill with a brief interlude with user.”

        1. 45RPM Silver badge

          Re: Quote of the year...

          @tea hound

          *blushes* Why thank you. I assure you that such wit was quite accidental.

    4. MachDiamond Silver badge

      Re: What now?

      FO? With bells on!

      I use my phone as a phone. I have a couple of simple apps like a scientific calculator, periodic table, tables for ASCII and Hex character equivalents and little things like that, but I'm not going to do photo of video editing on the damn thing. I've had dual sim capability for years and I like having a physical sim which lets me swap it quickly over to a replacement phone or pull out my "home" sim and replace it with a 30-day sim when I travel to a different country. Cheap phones also let me have one or two spares on hand in case. Music? iPod. SatNav? Garmin. The SatNav doesn't throw up a window covering the map when the phone rings and if I run the battery flat listening to music, I can still make a phone call.

  8. DougS Silver badge
    Trollface

    Testing thousands of slips and falls

    So that's why the floor in the spaceship was so slippery!

    1. Eddy Ito Silver badge
      Alert

      Re: Testing thousands of slips and falls

      It also explains all those Applegangers walking into the glass.

  9. doublelayer

    Emergency call

    Please tell me that this can be turned off. The last time apple did this, they did it badly. They installed an easy to call the emergency services using the same shortcut that used to be for respring (essentially, stop apps and reload the interface, but don't reboot), which could be useful if you were developing an app that had bugs and caused the phone to lag. So, I ended up on the phone talking to the emergency dispatcher who did not need to hear from me, and my phone was still laggy and required a force restart. If I was crazy enough to have the apple watch, what would happen if I dropped it on a desk, or I set it down to charge but accidentally knocked it off the table, or I dropped it somewhere where I couldn't get it, such as through a grate? I don't want to burden the emergency services with a bunch of useless calls.

    1. Sampler

      Re: Emergency call

      Just imagine, it's the end of a long day, you've pulled a double to hit a deadline, exhausted you get home and flop onto your couch, asleep before your face hit's the throw cushions, only to be rudely awakened by the emergency services some twenty minutes later...

      1. Dave 126 Silver badge

        Re: Emergency call

        Yes, it can be turned off.

        Dropping your watch won't call the emergency services, since the watch knows it's not attached to you.

        1. AMBxx Silver badge

          Re: Emergency call

          And don't forget, if it's been a long day, the battery's flat so it can't call any body.

          1. Korev Silver badge

            Re: Emergency call

            I was assisting a guy with a large hold in him and pulled out an iPhone to call the cavalry, only to find the battery had run out...

            Thankfully, I knew the battery was crap and also took out my cheap Android phone which has my old UK number and was able to get him the help he needed.

          2. SVV Silver badge

            Re: Emergency call

            So six hours is a long day?

            (As emergency call will be useless without GPS turned on)

            1. Monty Cantsin

              Re: Emergency call

              "As emergency call will be useless without GPS turned on"

              Well, not necessarily. If you're connected to your phone and GPS in turned on on it, then the watch can still know your position from the phone. Also, even if you're not with your watch, it's possible that the watch is smart enough to turn on GPS itself if it needs it in an emergency, then off again after it's made the call (speculation on my part, but that's the obvious solution to the problem).

              1. onefang Silver badge

                Re: Emergency call

                I've mentioned several times that I do volunteer work for seniors. One of them recently bought one of those fall alarm / panic switch type devices, with my help picking it out. She's an artist, paints portraits, mostly of bearded men (yes, she's done one of me). When we were discussing the pros and cons of wrist mounted versus pendant around the neck style, I pointed out that waving her arm around like she was painting broad brush strokes, might be misinterpreted as wildly waving your arms around as you fall down. My comment was accompanied by appropriate mimed arm movements. She went with a pendant.

                It can be programmed with five numbers, it'll call each in sequence until it gets a result. The recommended sequence is family members, trusted friends, doctor / nurse / other designated care person, then emergency services if all else fails. Those five designated numbers can also phone the device, but otherwise doesn't allow incoming or outgoing calls.

                The only ongoing cost is for the SIM and phone calls (depending on plan).

                I can't recall the battery life, but way longer than 18 hours, that's pitiful. Yes, it has a GPS, water proof, and other features I can't recall off the top of my head.

                She is very pleased with her new pendant, and has been extolling it's virtues to the other seniors. Two of them where complaining about their devices being broken, so they need to buy new ones. I pointed out to them they should probably buy a different brand, those brands are obviously not robust.

  10. Rob007

    Not surprised, my iPhone 6 has been exhibiting strange behavior (calling random people in my contacts at random) but just went for dual sim Galaxy S8 for £409 sim free a few days ago. This Apple announcement was the anti climax that press expected

    1. Dave 126 Silver badge

      People are enthusiastic about BXactions - an app that lets you remap that Bixby hardware button. I haven't got it working though for some reason (it requires plugging into a computer to unlock its features, and this stage fails for me. Possibly an antivirus clash. I'm finding I can't be arsed fault finding computers these days).

      I'm surprised other phone vendors aren't providing a spare hardware button or two and letting users map them to common features such as Flashlight or Pause Audio.

      1. onefang Silver badge

        "a spare hardware button or two and letting users map them to common features such as Flashlight or Pause Audio."

        A built in feature of my current phone is movement gestures. Shaking it sideways twice turns the flashlight on and off, I don't have to fumble for a button in the dark. I use that a lot, it's a well practiced gesture now. I can whip it out of my pocket and have the light on before I've finished pointing it in the general direction of where I need the light. Other gestures and functions are available, but that's the one I actually use.

  11. Zwuramunga

    Xcstasy!

    Paying over $1000 for a phone?

    It is like shopping the internet while stoned!

  12. sanmigueelbeer Silver badge
    Happy

    I would like to apologize to some Apple people when I said that Apple would've made a ton of money if they've priced the iPhone X at US$2K.

    Apple should've priced these new models at US$4K. They'll make motza!

  13. Garymrrsn

    6.5-inch OLED Screen

    Ya think by the time they get to the iPhone 15 it can double as a desk top?

    1. Sampler

      Re: 6.5-inch OLED Screen

      You mean like the last few years of Samsung models?

      That said, I used my DeX to see what it's like, then put it in a drawer, as I have enough desktop devices that I really don't need it, as passable as it was.

    2. ivan5

      Re: 6.5-inch OLED Screen

      Some of us are getting older and as a consequence need larger letters on a screen. That makes a 6 inch plus screen almost a requirement but NOT at Apple prices - my 6.1 Inch screen phone only cost €195 and does everything I want and it has dual SIMs and a replaceable battery.

      1. Dave 126 Silver badge

        Re: 6.5-inch OLED Screen

        Feature complete Photoshop is coming to iOS next year - on iPads. The issue with a desktop on a small screen is obvious. The DEX system is handy for niche use cases, but only where you know you'll have a monitor, keyboard and cables ready.

        Since Apple haven't even brought the Apple Pencil to iPhones, their policy of distinguishing phones from tablets (which are becoming laptop like) remains clear. They'd like you to buy both.

        - sent from from DEX compatible Samsung.

        1. Korev Silver badge

          Re: 6.5-inch OLED Screen

          Feature complete Photoshop is coming to iOS next year - on iPads. The issue with a desktop on a small screen is obvious.

          I've been using Lightroom on an iPad for a while and it's surprisingly good, to the point that I use my desktop PC much less. On the iPhone, I find it a bit painful as the screen is too small so there are a lot of "clicks" to get to each menu item (admittedly this is on a 5S).

  14. ckdizz

    I don't understand the fetish for FaceID, which is annoying at best and absolutely useless when I'm in the car and Siri tells me she can't do something because my phone is locked (so yeah, thanks Siri, you know it's my voice but you can't unlock the damn phone based on that). I had the iPhone X for about three days before it was returned because it basically became useless while driving and I was having to pull the thing out of my pocket and hold it up to my face for three seconds to check a text.

    I don't care about the price, or the size. I care about "technology moving on" (that's a quote from Apple sales) when it's not really moving on. So instead of just pressing my digit against the sensor, that old technology has been dispensed with, and we've moved on to make my phone more useless in the car, and more difficult to use on the go.

    My iPhone 7 Plus is probably good for a while longer, but if TouchID doesn't come back next year I'll be going back to Android.

    1. Hi Wreck

      I had the iPhone X for about three days before it was returned because it basically became useless while driving and I was having to pull the thing out of my pocket and hold it up to my face for three seconds to check a text..

      Perhaps being a pain in the arse to check a text while driving is a good thing.

      1. werdsmith Silver badge

        I had the iPhone X for about three days before it was returned because it basically became useless while driving and I was having to pull the thing out of my pocket and hold it up to my face for three seconds to check a text..

        Hold phone button on steering wheel down for 2 seconds, wait for beep and then say "read last message" to hear the message read out to you by a nice voice over your loudspeakers.

        Saves you getting spotted checking your text and points on your licence.

    2. Dave 126 Silver badge

      Wait and see how the under the screen fingerprint readers mature. The OnePlus 6T will have one. There's optical ways of doing it, and ultrasonic ways - the latter Apple has some interest in. Though of course they have patents, exclusivity deals and interests in many things they don't end up using in products.

      But checking a text whilst driving? Maybe investigate a text to speech accessibility function.

    3. aaaa
      FAIL

      I returned my iPhone X because I don't know how to ask for help

      I had the iPhone X for about three days before it was returned because it basically became useless while driving and I was having to pull the thing out of my pocket and hold it up to my face for three seconds to check a text.

      A quick google search found this answer:

      From your post, I understand that you are not able to ask Siri to read your incoming text messages while you are driving; you are being prompted to unlock your iPhone. I’m happy to help you troubleshoot this situation!

      From what you have stated, it sounds like you may have Messages previews disabled. Navigate to Settings > Notifications, Messages > and adjust Show Previews to Always. After making this adjustment, test this functionality again.

      I just tested this on my iPhone X with latest iOS 11 and it works as advertised.

      1. tiggity Silver badge

        Re: I returned my iPhone X because I don't know how to ask for help

        @ aaaa

        How about focusing on driving, not your phone?

    4. ckdizz

      Woah everyone. I understand that sentence wasn't properly claused there, my bad - I don't check texts or emails while I'm driving. :) Thinking about it, if I didn't care about having my eyes on the road and my hands on the wheel, I probably wouldn't be bothered with having to hold the phone up and use FaceID.

      But I do use the phone for maps, traffic alerts, music, radio when I go out of antenna range, etc. I can make and receive calls via the steering wheel, and move between songs, but that's it. Most things Siri tells me I need to unlock my phone for - or the worst one, when she tells me I can't ask about traffic alerts while I'm driving so I have to unlock the phone and check manually (this is me, asking Siri to tell me about traffic on SH1 and she tells me she can't do that while I'm driving). Right now with the iPhone 7, I can just lean over and do that stuff like I would on the car stereo's LCD. With the iPhone X, that was impossible - I'm having to enter in my passcode instead. It went back because that wasn't a safe situation.

      The text and email thing - that's me walking down the street and losing the ability to discreetly pull the phone out of my pocket to check text and emails. I turned off screen lock screen previews for those for privacy reasons. iPhone 7, I can pull it out and press TouchID; iPhone X, I have to pull it out of my pocket and hold it up to my face.

  15. Wade Burchette

    No seperate headphone jack?

    Then no thank you.

    1. Sandtitz Silver badge
      Meh

      Re: No seperate headphone jack?

      Headphones I can live without. Sure you can get nearly free basic headphones, but is that an issue when you're spending $1k on a phone?

      I've been purely Bluetooth user for the last 10 years or so. My noise cancelling Bose headphones were rather expensive but the battery life is measured in days and they also work very well with my laptop and other stuff.

      My beef with these new phones is the big form factor. They're just unwieldy. And just fucking pricey.

      1. Dave 126 Silver badge

        Re: No seperate headphone jack?

        I use 3.5mm a lot in my car. I use 3.5 mm earbuds or headphones when I'm working. I hate catching the cable on things and having the buds pulled from my ears. Grr. Haven't yet invested in decent Bluetooth buds or cans.

        Don't know where all my half decent wired buds are. They disappear like socks or 10mm spanners.

  16. JeffyPoooh Silver badge
    Pint

    "...notify wearers..."

    "...The Series 4 will also notify wearers if their heart rate is too low or if atrial fibrillation is detected."

    Attention: Your heart has stopped. Please acknowledge by saying, "Siri. Leave me alone. I'm already dead." Also. Be advised that your death will result in the revocation of all rights to all media that you may have "purchased" (sic, LOL) through iTunes.

  17. Kevin McMurtrie Silver badge
    Facepalm

    World's fastest old phone in the palm of your hand

    "A $900 CPU and camera jammed into a $99 phone is just what I was looking for," said nobody. Why is 64 GB storage and 3GB RAM even an option anymore? Do iPhone users huddle around WiFi access points and urban cell towers so their cloud apps never stop working? What is a super-fast CPU expected to do when the rest of the phone might not have enough memory for gaming, augmented reality, or anything else that might be fun?

    Oh right, just upgrade the storage. Apple's only charging $350 for a workable 512GB.

    1. Dave 126 Silver badge

      Re: World's fastest old phone in the palm of your hand

      Eh? Music files haven't drastically increased in size, so what would you use all that storage for? Even movies are only a few GB a piece, how many do you need to watch on your commute between your home WiFi and the hotel? People use Netflicks these days. iPhone RAM quantity hasn't been a bar to games on the platform, nor to AR, an area Apple are active in. It might help that iPhone NAND storage is very fast indeed (see Anandtech) and developers know it, so shunting between NAND and RAM can be done nearly seamlessly for many tasks.

      All the above is true of Android flagships. Most Samsung flagships only offer 4GB of RAM, OnePlus's 6GB RAM option largely considered a gimmick for now. Flagship phones have NAND so fast that high frame HDR video can be filmed without buffering.

      According to one games website, it's hard to distinguish between popular game Fortnite on an iPhone X and a Galaxy S9. Fortnite developers have noted that porting the game to Android was a pain the arse though, due to variety of devices and OS version.

  18. Quinch

    The not-obligatory-but-always-relevant SMBC:

    http://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/the-new-thing

  19. Banksy

    Razr

    I want my Moto Razr back. It was a lovely, slim beast.

    1. Dave 126 Silver badge

      Re: Razr

      The Razr was a phone Steve Jobs approved of. The Motorola Rokr - the one that had iTunes on it - he clearly didn't like. When he presented it on stage he held like it was a bag of dog poo.

      Sidenote: if you think these iPhones are expensive, check out how much Samsung want for a modern Android clamshell phone (China only): £3,000

      https://www.theverge.com/circuitbreaker/2017/12/1/16724656/samsung-w2018-flip-phone-android-china

      1. Poncey McPonceface
        FAIL

        Re: Razr

        “As an attempt to sweeten the deal for luxury lovers, Samsung says that W2018 buyers also get perks like concierge help at airports and subways, free software tech support, and a hotline just for VIPs. The phone will get released in China first and the price is yet to be announced, but we can guess it might be even higher than the W2017’s price tag of $3,000.”

    2. Admiral Grace Hopper

      Re: Razr

      I have seriously considered getting a resurrected Erissson T28 for phone calls and a hotspot and a small tablet for mobile internet.

      1. Dave 126 Silver badge

        Re: Razr

        That's the trouble - people now use phones for web browsers and video, whereas the original iPhone size - up to 5 and SE - was based around apps which for tasks like checking weather and train times had a much simpler (therefore better for small screens) interface.

  20. SkippyBing Silver badge

    Ford Called

    They want their Fiesta naming strategy back.

    1. Dave 126 Silver badge

      Re: Ford Called

      The iPhone RS keeps crashing, but it was genuinely the user's fault.

      My mate once asked a Bristol copper why they weren't driving Focus RS cars anymore: "Yeah, we did have those, but the lads kept crashing them"

  21. Big_Boomer

    Bend over FanBoiz,...

    Lube up, and prepare to receive 6.5" of Apples finest! It's gonna make your wallet wince!

    1. Dave 126 Silver badge

      Re: Bend over FanBoiz,...

      If you haven't noticed that there's huge number of people in the world whose wallets are more than big enough to shrug off an iPhone (or Range Rover, or ounce of cocaine, or shit, just being able to go the pub five nights a week) many times over then you've clearly not been paying attention to what's around you.

  22. DrXym Silver badge

    Apple are really slipping

    Dual sim is something many Android phones have sported for years. It's kind of embarassing for Apple to announce it as if its some big deal.

    I'm still somewhat perplexed why they didn't go through with their software sim idea from a few years back. Then in theory a phone could hold multiple "sims" and you could flip between them at will.

    1. DropBear Silver badge
      WTF?

      Re: Apple are really slipping

      You do realize this phone has only one SIM socket and the second "SIM" is exactly the eSIM "idea from a few years back", which incidentally is only supported by a dozen or so carriers over the entire world, ie. in lots of countries "none"...?

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    to acquaint the fascinated

    you're not one of them, I presume? :P

  24. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    re. 6.1-inch

    Six inches, what kind of man are you?! Look at MINE, it's AT LEAST 7 INCHES!!! And then, look, LOOK! - sensitive to touch (haptic feedback), flexible yet firm (expandability options), I could go on and on...

  25. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    for those who want stereo mobile carrier bills

    Quadrophonics, please!

  26. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    four efficiency cores that use 50 per cent less power

    than 27 steam double deckers racing up Mt. Everest. Impressive!

  27. Aladdin Sane Silver badge

    I'm getting this instead.

  28. 0laf Silver badge
    Paris Hilton

    I've an Iphone SE. I wouldn't change it except I find the screen keyboard too small for my fingers.

    At these prices I'll bite the bullet and go to Google. Fuck paying nearly £1k for a phone.

    I hope to see the Huawei P20 Pro on discount in October. If I'm saving £500 over a bigger iPhone I'll just have to live with the data snarf. I don't bank or shop on a phone anyway. If they want to read my FB posts (which are 90% daily mash shares) they're welcome.

  29. Richard 1
    Trollface

    I only came here to watch the Android/Apple fanbois fight it out.

  30. Patched Out

    Droid Maxx 16GB

    Yup. Still works fine for me. And it's still on its original battery.

  31. royprime

    Ah. So Apple's HQ makes sense now.

    So, I'm guessing they were using the new HQ & staff to test the fall function of the Apple Watch then?

    https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2018/mar/05/apple-park-workers-hurt-glass-walls-norman-foster-steve-jobs

  32. D@v3

    The important question

    What the hell does the R in iPhone Xr even mean??

    1. 0laf Silver badge
      Joke

      Re: The important question

      It's just the first iteration that is confusing. The XR2 and XR3 will make more sense and will come with the option of vinyl lettering across the screen.

    2. The Specialist

      Re: The important question

      My guess is: R for reduced or redacted (as in features)

  33. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Seen the price of new cars?

    ...yet they are everywhere. Most commonly these are bought on "payment plans". £19k for the most basic Golf. Apple aren't stupid. Money is not tight, and people are happy to pay big-time for things they use every day. Maybe Apple should make cars? Oh, hang on...

  34. O RLY
    Facepalm

    iPhone Xs and Xs Max

    I wonder if anyone at Apple said Xs aloud as letters rather than "10" s. Surely someone in Cupertino noticed that the flagship phones are called iPhone "Excess" and iPhone "Excess" Max. Right?

  35. Ian Joyner

    Pointer Protection?

    "The chip also appears to support pointer authentication, a feature Arm introduced to its Armv8.3-A"

    I looked at that link to the ARM slide presentation.

    My impression (could be wrong) is that it is like prison officers knocking off at 5 pm and asking the prisoners to lock themselves in the cells at 10 pm. It looks like the checks are optional.

    Yes, we need to get away from insecure pointer languages like C and C++, but we also need to make non-optional checks in hardware.

    We need architectures like the Burroughs B5000, which has been with us since 1963 (and still going). Any program that violates security is unceremoniously dumped.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Burroughs_large_systems_descriptors#Buffer_overflow_protection

    Tony Hoare also notes that protection should never be turned off.

    http://delivery.acm.org/10.1145/360000/358561/p75-hoare.pdf

  36. jimbo60

    another 'first'

    "This is the first ECG product offered over the counter to consumers,"

    Cue all the news article about AliveCor selling a personal ECG product for years, for $99.

    The reality distortion field is alive and well.

  37. Unicornpiss Silver badge
    Meh

    Dual phone numbers

    Save yourself some money and just use Google Voice for a 2nd phone number. Actually save all your money, since it's a free service.

    And save even more by not being one of the twats that has to have a new phone every year or so when they don't even understand all the features on their current one.

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