back to article Somerset boozer prepares to declare its inn-dependence from UK

A Somerset pub is gearing up to secede from the UK next month. The rum do is, surprisingly, nothing to do with Brexit. It's also unrelated to a long, hot summer that has battered UK pubs with an influx of wasps and concerns that depleting CO2 supplies would hurt the flow of lager in the island nation. Rather, the Cross Keys …

  1. DJV Silver badge


    I was hoping for another Passport to Pimlico!

    1. Pen-y-gors Silver badge

      Re: Damn...

      Freedom for Tooting!

      1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

        Re: Damn...

        It's not called tooting anymore Grandad! Nowadays we say air-biscuits, or trumping.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Damn...

        power to the people !

    2. CodyJarrett

      Re: Damn...

      "We always were English, and we'll always be English, and it's just because we are English that we're sticking up for our rights to be Burgundians!"

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Damn...

      You'll have to settle for a passport to Pimms...

  2. andy gibson

    Piel Island

    IIRC the Ship Inn at Piel Island in Morecambe Bay is similar

    1. Uncle Slacky Silver badge

      Re: Piel Island

      There is/was also the kingdom of Hay-on-Wye:

  3. quattroprorocked

    an o-lager-chy

    sry guys, I must get more, possibly to Somerset :-)

    1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

      Well I guess they'll be ruled be a drinks cabinet of ginisters. Before declaring last orders, and handing back sovereignty to their MP. All policies to be carried out, with no half measures. However, can they really be seen as legitimate, in the absinthe of a referendrum.

      1. Vulch

        IRTA as cabinet of Ginsters. Government by meat pie sounds a plausible method...

        1. Hans Neeson-Bumpsadese Silver badge

          Government by meat pie

          There now follows a pasty political broadcast...

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            There now follows a pasty political broadcast...

            ...on behalf of the Greene (King) Party

            1. The Oncoming Scorn Silver badge

              Ginsters & Politicians

              ....Both give me gutache.

          2. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

            There now follows a pastry political broadcast:

            We are the pastry of the working naan. We believe that the government has an important sausace roll in the life of the country and that it is important to have a general confection free of bake news.

            We wish to give the opposition party a bloody good choux-ing and to totally batter them at the next confection. The cream will rise to the top.

            W eclair about you, the voters of this great country slice, so vote for us and dough not be tempted by the false promises of those other bastards.

            Our policies are to have our cake and eat it, to slice taxes and have jam tomorrow.

            Pudding the people first!

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        cabinet of ginisters

        How about a Cabernet of Ginisters?

  4. Bangem

    Trade agreements

    I bet they still manage to secure better EU trade agreement than Mistress May did.

  5. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge

    Wise move!

    I'll drink to that

  6. WylieCoyoteUK

    A pressing question (especially after a few pints)

    Who will be in the privy counsel?

  7. Fullbeem

    In the future.....

    Hoping the future fascist UK has places like Steel Harbour, Cider City, LagerTown. I'll be a resident of Ale Cross. Lagertown would be too gassy for me.

    1. Larhten

      Re: In the future.....

      Who runs LagerTown?

  8. Bryan B

    I trust the national anthem will be "Ale to the Chief".

    1. Ochib

      "I trust the national anthem will be "Ale to the Chief"."

      And the only rule will be "Pint for the fella... Glass of white wine/ fruit-based drink for the lady!"

      'Cos if there were no rules where would we be? France! And if we had too many rules where would we be? Germany!

      1. The Oncoming Scorn Silver badge


        Ale To The Chef.

  9. Huw D

    At the risk of a shedload of downvotes...

    No Surrender to the IPA.

  10. Wedge2

    I'll drink to that

  11. drdr6

    Re: Piel Island

    Predated by the "Upware republic", November 1851, but much in the same spirit:

  12. RandomUsername

    I might be able to create a diplomatic incident

    Which is a major life goal ticked off :)

    I think I am still technically barred from this fine establishment. In my defence it was the other members of my old rugby team that caused most of the damage.

    Anyway if I pop round at the weekend can I expect support from the foreign office... actually what am I saying.....

  13. Tinslave_the_Barelegged Silver badge

    ...A long time ago....

    In the old South Africa, the Rotarians or Round Tablers in a Cape Town suburb had a similar fund-raising idea, and the Republic of Hout Bay came into being. This was made easier by the fact that, as Hout Bay is on the opposite side of Table Mountain to the city, there were (and maybe still are) only three roads into and out of the suburb. So they had "road blocks" at which you could but a "passport" that would make you a citizen.

    Rumour had it at the time that people were successfully using these "passports" on trips away from South Africa, at a time when South African passports were regarded extremely dubiously, claiming that the Republic of Hout Bay was a breakaway dissident state.

    1. Rich 11 Silver badge

      Re: ...A long time ago....

      To their great credit, the Republic of Hout Bay revoked apartheid before the Republic of South Africa did. Briefly.

  14. Kernel

    The Republic of Whangamomana

    For many years a (extremely) small settlement in NZ has had an annual election of President - IIRC the Republic of Whangamomana came into to being when the residents of said settlement and surrounding area objected to the government's imposition of summer time on the country.

    I was present at the election of one president who was tragically killed during his term of office while participating in a wild pig hunt - just why a toy poodle (the president) wanted to go pig hunting is one of those mysteries that may never be solved.

    1. Nick Kew Silver badge

      Re: The Republic of Whangamomana

      Are you sure the wild boar wasn't just a scapegoat? Siegfried would be a fine precedent for a hero whose murderer tried to blame his death on a wild boar.

      1. Kernel

        Re: The Republic of Whangamomana

        "Are you sure the wild boar wasn't just a scapegoat?"

        It's possible - given that the permanent population of Whangamomana is most accurately expressed by the well recognised mathematical term "bugger all", a cover-up would not be too difficult to arrange.

        This is the sort of place it is - at the Republic Day celebrations I attended one of the major attractions was a bloke with a ute full of dead possums, with which he entertained the crowd by giving demonstrations on how to skin said possums - for $5 he would teach you or your kids how to do the skinning. I'm guessing he needed to skin them anyway and though he may as well try and make a few bucks extra along the way.

        Note for the rest of the world: In NZ possums are a pest species and once you have caught one your only legal options are to kill it or have someone else kill it for you - the case is slightly different in Australia, where they seem to be keen on protecting and encouraging the smelly things.

  15. gerdesj Silver badge


    Well, Lydford is just up the road from here (Yeovil).

    Might have to pop inn.

  16. Kev99 Bronze badge

    It's "an" oligarchy, mates.

  17. JPeasmould

    Walcott Nation Day

    I used to love the annual declaration of independence by the traders of Walcott Street in Bath.

    Proudly carrying my passport, I would get wonderfully pissed on fantastic ale at the Bell's open-air bar, listening to bands and, later on in the day, watching people suck balloons until they walked into walls laughing.

    That was when the Hat and Feather was a real (if disreputable) music pub instead of a wine bar/restaurant.

    I'm getting old...

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