back to article Butcher by name, Butcher by nature? Capita finds new CFO

It may be a case of nominative determinism that in the midst of its expense purge Capita has hired a man called Butcher to take control of the finance function. It might just be coincidence. Patrick Butcher will inherit the wooden abacus at Capita by the end of the calendar year, the sickly outsourcing badass confirmed to the …

  1. Locky Silver badge

    Pat Butcher?

    Duff duff duff duff da da duff

    1. ivan5

      Re: Pat Butcher?

      At least his name is not Beeching.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Pat Butcher?

        five grand! you've gone and given it all away!

        this is my car lot!

    2. EnviableOne Bronze badge

      Re: Pat Butcher?

      Not the only one to see the Walford link then .....

  2. macjules Silver badge
    FAIL

    "The strategy alluded to by Lewis will see the company try to do fewer things better"

    It is very hard to see how they could do anything worse.

    Maybe I just need to go to SpecSavers ..

  3. Peter Mount
    Facepalm

    Govia != Network Rail

    Not sure why the subheadline says from Network Rail when he's from Go Ahead Group - i.e. they who runs Thameslink Southern & Southeastern.

    As someone quoted me on Twitter earlier this morning: "From one **show to another, Seems appropriate", more so when dealing with Crapita

    1. Chrissy

      Re: Govia != Network Rail

      I'd love to sit in on one of these Executive interviews...

      "I am a pigeon manager who has a proven track record of screwing everything I touch up, but somehow have managed to always get the blame apportioned to those above and below me...... and I am a FreeMason"

      "Welcome aboard... I must get you into my golf club".

      1. cd

        Re: Govia != Network Rail

        All of them are incompetent. So of course they get along. I've been on the labor side and have worked in projects where I was quasi-management.

        What a forgiving place that is compared to how workers are treated!

    2. Paul Kunert

      Re: Govia != Network Rail

      Hi Peter,

      Capita said today: "Patrick has 19 years of experience as a finance director, including six years as Group Finance Director at Network Rail from 2009. His early career was spent at Deloitte & Touche, where he trained as a Chartered Accountant, and worked across its audit and management consultancy practices."

      https://www.londonstockexchange.com/exchange/news/market-news/market-news-detail/CPI/13763808.html

      Paul @ The Reg

  4. Will Godfrey Silver badge
    Facepalm

    Hmmm

    So from one industry not noted for arriving on time, to another not noted for finishing on time.

    What could possibly go wrong?

  5. Potemkine! Silver badge

    Exciting times

    Shake your pants, underlings!

  6. Herring` Silver badge

    It's quite something having a company that can manage to fleece its customers, lose money doing so and still get more work. It's up there with going bankrupt running a casino.

  7. RobertLongshaft

    Crapita - haha see what I did there? Crapita hahaha.

  8. DJV Silver badge

    Butcher

    Back in the last century I was in hospital after having a nasty burst appendix sliced out. A couple of days after the op, a young student nurse wearing a nametag that said Nurse Butcher turned up to my bedside having been assigned to disconnect the drip from the cannula in my arm. The cannula had to be left in place in case the drip needed to be re-attached.

    I think she should have placed a finger somewhere on my arm to stop the blood flowing into the cannula as she capped it off. Instead, several quite impressive spurts of blood erupted from the cannula hitting her, the bed and my mother's coat* on the chair beside the bed. Nurse Butcher became a bit panicky as she wrestled the cap over the gushing and I don't think she appreciated it when, afterward all the fun was over, I laughingly mentioned that she had a good name for her job. Still, I probably wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for such dedicated angels.

    *Mother's coat (mother was visiting) was a shade of dark purple so didn't show the bloodstains - the same couldn't be said for the bed or Nurse Butcher!

  9. tiggity Silver badge

    He won't care

    He will get paid lots of cash, hefty pension contribution irrespective of what happens.

    Doubtless a bonus for "cost cutting" i.e. sacking a few of the "shopfloor" peasants who actually get their hands dirty.

    All these "top exec / management" jobs are just a merry go round of massively overpaid (when compared to amount of competence / long term improvement of a company demonstrated) folk happily moving from one mega salaried post to the next.

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    how are they still going??

    I did a contract for them many many years ago, I was bought in a full year after the go live date, and they where no where near going live, the whole project was staffed by contractors apart from the top manager and a tester. Both where morons, top manager would stroll in whenever he pleased and generally be an unpleasant arse, then disappear, the tester was only interested in things like font sizes rather then the actual application results.

    It seemed like everyone in the office spent more time day trading then doing the actual project.

    Anyway 2 years later it finally went live, contract wasn't renewed (as expected), and I didn't do a handover to anyone.

    Lots more things happened, or didn't, during my time there but if I spilled the beans they'd be able to identify me lol

    happy days :)

  11. George09

    Are you sure about that share price? I think you have a decimal point in the wrong place.

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    If corporations were people...

    Capita would accidentally drown its kids in the bath, have more kids, and accidentally drown those kids in the bath as well; all the while it'd be posting pictures of itself on Facebook, smiling and holding the drowned kids, and would be receiving thousands of offers from other people to come and foster their kids as well.

  13. PeterM42
    Facepalm

    WHAT!!!!!

    "Capita forged ahead with a heavily discounted right's issue earlier this year of one billion new shares at 70 pence each".

    Did ANYONE buy any?

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