back to article Click this link and you can get The Register banned in China

They may have mown down their own students with real tanks but what really scares the Chinese government is a stuffed, furry bear with a red tank top. A movie starring Ewan McGregor came out in cinemas on Friday, and covers the frankly rather boring honey-coated story of a series of improbable animal friends doing very little …

  1. Palladium

    Well, the common man over there treats their censorship as much as a joke as we do.

    1. bombastic bob Silver badge

      Seriously? I never knew that...

      "the common man over there treats their censorship as much as a joke as we do."

      Seriously, I never knew that... probably because it's *censored*.

  2. jake Silver badge

    Just to be helpful:

    A stuffed, furry bear with a red tank top and no pants.

    1. Mark 85 Silver badge

      Re: Just to be helpful:

      Exactly... now which is the leader and which is fictional bear?

      1. jake Silver badge

        Re: Just to be helpful:

        The one with no genitalia?

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Just to be helpful:

          Still unsure and now probably on a watch list.

      2. Pen-y-gors Silver badge

        Re: Just to be helpful:

        I don't get this - Xi looks nothing like Pooh - Disney or Shepherd version. Unless this is the old 'all you western round-eyed furry animals look the same to me' syndrome, in which case no Yogi and Boo-Boo in Beijing.

        1. Grikath Silver badge
          Facepalm

          Re: Just to be helpful:

          Yogi and Boo-Boo would run into the censorship hammer for being anti-authorian...

          1. PerlyKing
            Facepalm

            Re: "anti-authorian"

            They didn't like the author?

        2. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

          Re: Just to be helpful:

          >Xi looks nothing like Pooh

          Although there is something undeniably eyeore- about Prime Minister Abe in the 2nd photo

        3. razorfishsl

          Re: Just to be helpful:

          As far as many in China are concerned He Looks EXACTLY like him.

          if you spend a few months in Asia your brain changes the way you process facial information,

          It's really quite interesting.

          One result is that XI looks exactly like Poo, sometimes even his walk is the same, it's reported he absolutely loathes the reference.

          1. Fungus Bob Silver badge

            Re: Just to be helpful:

            "he absolutely loathes the reference"

            Sounds like the authoritarian supremo needs a hug. Or cookies and warm milk. Or a nap.

            1. jake Silver badge

              Re: Just to be helpful:

              Hunny, Bob. He needs hunny.

        4. Voland's right hand Silver badge

          Re: Just to be helpful:

          Re: Just to be helpful:

          I don't get this - Xi looks nothing like Pooh - Disney or Shepherd version.

          1970es Russian version. You can find it on YouTube. It also has several double+ meaning songs where the second meaning between the lines is political and lampooning the great communist leadership. It was a form of sport to get that past the censors in those days - many of their old movies have this.

          That is what got pooh-bear banned. The Disney and later versions are just collateral damage.

    2. Halcin
      Happy

      Re: Just to be helpful:

      A stuffed, furry bear with a red tank top and no pants.

      Or trousers ;)

    3. Voyna i Mor Silver badge

      Re: Just to be helpful:

      Of course no pants - how else can a bear poo in the woods?

    4. Updraft102 Silver badge

      Re: Just to be helpful:

      It's not a tank top, though.

    5. Efer Brick

      Re: Just to be helpful:

      and, one likes hunny, the other doesn't

  3. Kevin McMurtrie Silver badge

    Best firewall evah

    I'm going to put that on my webserver to see if it blocks all the brute-force attacks from Chinese networks.

  4. JLV Silver badge

    whatever’s wrong ...

    with our political systems here*, there’s plenty worse around elsewhere. Or at least you’re mostly allowed to criticize your local Dear Leader. Much as some of them think of the press as enemies.

    Xi does happen to be competent, but dictatorships don’t always get competent bosses, not unlike the problems bequeathed by Wilhelm II or Leopold II.

    I truly wonder if Xi doesn’t realize how ridiculous and Barbara Streisandy the Winnie censorship makes him look.

    * for various flavors of ‘here’ as exemplified by May, Trump, Tsipras...

    1. Michael Habel Silver badge

      Re: whatever’s wrong ...

      I think you ment to say problems imposed on the World by, the likes of Macron, Merkel and, May, along with the cronie presscore who support them.

      1. HolySchmoley Bronze badge

        Re: whatever’s wrong ...

        Whereas Brexit Britain and Grating America impose problems on themselves, though the 'leaders', being bears of little brains, are slow to realise.

        1. dbtx Bronze badge

          grating?

          Is that a cheesy way of saying Regreatification?

    2. K Silver badge

      Re: whatever’s wrong ...

      "I truly wonder if Xi doesn’t realize how ridiculous "

      To be fair, this would have been the decision of some egotistic junior bureaucrat.. As for chinese citizens in general, they'll just buy it from one of their famous DVD outlet stores for about 20p!

      1. vtcodger Silver badge

        Re: whatever’s wrong ...

        China, for whatever reason, has long had a quota for foreign films in its theatres. The quota started off at 10 a year in the 1990s and has been expanded to 34 today. The chances that a less than stunning movie with a character that might be taken as a parody of Chairman Xi will be one of those films are probably close to zero. Especially given President Trump's recent trade related antics and the fact that it's an American film. There are alternate mechanisms that could allow its distribution, but probably won't. See http://chinafilminsider.com/foreign-films-in-china-how-does-it-work/

    3. Voyna i Mor Silver badge

      Re: whatever’s wrong ...Xi does happen to be competent

      Right now I'd exchange our present government for the Politburo provided we were allowed free democratic elections in 2022. Because "competent" and "British government" are disjoint sets.

      Hey, we might get some decent railways, an airport or two, some more wind power, a burgeoning electric vehicle sector, some decent electronics makers and cheap Russian gas. And possibly a statement that Britain is an indissoluble part of the EU (cf Taiwan).

      Sadly, based on the Hong Kong experience, the free democratic election bit is unlikely.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: whatever’s wrong ...Xi does happen to be competent

        @Voyna i Mor

        As somebody who visits there quite regularly (I have family who migrated there, from the UK, I like to add), In many ways I'd agree. I'm not talking about the communist-crush-rebellion from yester-year, but their present doctrine has delivered a lot of stability and prosperity.

        As for those who would call China repressive, I'd say, first go and experience it yourself, stop listening to the press who themselves are using 3rd-hand information. Second, the UK establishment is worse in many respects, they're lying, cheating, who also block content..

        Then we have the brexit camp, which seems to have all these traits as super-powers, who are also brainwashing people with xenophobia. As is perfectly timed for this article - My wife was watching Come Dine With Me on Friday (recorded from couple of weeks ago), which had a immigrant Indian woman, who said she voted Brexit, because she hates Immigrants and they're stealing all jobs!! Just wow...

        Anyway, that's my Sunday morning politiks dealt with, now I need coffee

        1. Steve 114

          Re: whatever’s wrong ...Xi does happen to be competent

          Oopsie, I was on UK-Govt-paid visit to the PRC, who I found fascinating, credible (in local circumstances) and fully authentic. I'd question when 'repressive' begins to approach close to 'broader public interest'. We, and they. elect (or whatever) authorities to make that judgement. But I'd part company on 'Brexit' - if the PRC had inherited a 'free movement' Treaty with Japan, India, Indonesia and Russia, what would their public now prefer?

        2. JLV Silver badge

          Re: whatever’s wrong ...Xi does happen to be competent

          >experience it yourself

          Methink there is a massive difference between experiencing it as a foreigner, esp a Westerner, and as a local, specifically in the context of political freedom.

          If you say the wrong thing, you’ll at worst be asked to leave and never granted a visa again.

          Locals don’t “experience” it in the same way. Or, are you denying the existence of political-only prisoners in China?

          https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Chinese_dissidents

          Because all the rest really is bullshit - either a country has political prisoners or it doesn’t. That is orthogonal to other considerations like competence, excessive police force, excessive imprisonment of certain minorities. Not so much to corruption - political prisoners often end up there for decrying it.

          True, the power to throw folk in jail does let you get away with a lot more too

          Not only China - nice Thailand, which issues 20 yr sentences to middle aged women liking a FB post making fun of the royal dog is right up there.

          So, your “all the same”? Calling BS.

    4. Michael Wojcik Silver badge

      Re: whatever’s wrong ...

      I truly wonder if Xi doesn’t realize how ridiculous and Barbara Streisandy the Winnie censorship makes him look.

      That may be the point. If you implement plenty of petty tyrannies, many people will get distracted from the real ones. If some of the clever kids spend their efforts bootlegging foreign films, they won't be putting them into real resistance.

      I have a grudging respect for Xi. As autocrats go, he seems to have a very nuanced and careful grasp of power. His cult of personality seems to be extremely managed, not the sort of wild-eyed populism we see with Trump, for example, or even the still rather visceral "hard man is good to find" thing Putin promotes. His repressions also strike me as calculated, and often deliberately obtuse, to present a sort of circus of ineffectual resistance. Let the people enjoy inconsequential defiance as entertainment.

      (Of course, this is by no means a novel technique, but as far as I'm aware it was mostly practiced systematically in pre-capitalist economies, as shown in e.g. Stallybrass & White's The Politics and Poetics of Transgression. There was a bit of it with the US Hippie movement, which was notable for achieving nothing but the neutering of a potential political opposition,1 but I suspect most of the US establishment genuinely loathed the hippies and it didn't occur to them to use the movement this way.)

      1Unlike the actual civil-rights movements in the US, which did achieve significant change.

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Nope

    Your site isn’t blocked from China, at least for now.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Nope

      Hang on...don't Apple get their kit made in China....is this a way to get at Apple's PR and see if the Chinese can make them talk to El Reg?

  6. Slaytanic

    Guys, don't pick on dear leader, Shénjīngbìng 神經病. He's very sensitive.

    1. Mephistro Silver badge
      Coat

      Anything whose name contains "bing" can't be any good!!!

      1. Uncle Slacky Silver badge

        Not even Bing Crosby?

        1. Spoonsinger

          Re:- Not even Bing Crosby?

          Especially Bing Crosby.

      2. SkippyBing Silver badge

        Anything whose name contains "bing" can't be any good!!!

        Hey!

      3. Waseem Alkurdi Silver badge

        Not even Bing Search? :D

        1. The Oncoming Scorn Silver badge
          Joke

          Bing Crosby

          I guess that he would be the crooning presscore mentioned ealier.

      4. HolySchmoley Bronze badge

        >Anything whose name contains "bing" can't be any good!!!

        Ditto "rump".

        1. bpfh Bronze badge

          Rump steak?

      5. Ken 16 Silver badge

        too many Friends re-runs in your house?

        1. TRT Silver badge

          Favourite line from Friends has to be "Can you handle it? Hey! Handle is my middle name... well, the middle part of my first name..."

          1. Wayneh_nz

            Or, to meta two threads, "my family name Bing, is welsh, it means dinner is ready"

  7. Adair

    Travesty...

    I would like to have it on record that Disney's representation of Pooh is an utter travesty of the character as written by AA Milne and as drawn by EH Shepherd. Shepherd's drawings are definitive, and Disney's transmogrification deserves to be exiled to a hell of hard radiation for all eternity.

    1. Bibbit

      Re: Travesty...

      Maybe it will be ok and James Corden will voice him. He rocked with Peter Rabbit. :/

    2. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

      Re: Travesty...

      "I would like to have it on record that Disney's representation of Pooh is an utter travesty of the character as written by AA Milne and as drawn by EH Shepherd."

      I wouldn't have expected otherwise.

      1. Michael Wojcik Silver badge

        Re: Travesty...

        I wouldn't have expected otherwise.

        Yeah, their Little Mermaid isn't exactly faithful to the source material either. Ditto anything that isn't Disney ab initio. Disney is not in the business of maintaining any tradition other than their own.

    3. fishman

      Re: Travesty...

      The new movie's characters are closer to the original drawings than the old Disney movies.

    4. Hugh Pumphrey

      Re: Travesty...

      What Adair said deserves its 48 upvotes and zero downvotes. The disnification of Winnie the Pooh has made me want to do something violent since I first saw it. A hell of hard radiation would do just fine.

    5. Avatar of They
      Coat

      Re: Travesty...

      Isn't that applicable to most Disney offerings nowadays? Including the star wars remakes (sorry new films)

    6. Alan Brown Silver badge

      Re: Travesty...

      "Disney's representation of Pooh is an utter travesty"

      The man himself is reputed to have said something along the lines of "Corn sells, so that's what we make"

      It's worth noting that Disney only became nastycorp after Eisner got control.

    7. Jay Lenovo Silver badge
      FAIL

      Re: Travesty...

      Disney must have thought, "Hey, with a main character that inspired books like The Tao of Pooh ", we've got a home-run addressing the asian market.

      But much like their failed efforts to make Star Wars asian relevant, Pooh (of all characters) is too offensive to the Chinese censors.

      Even if he came out as a closet Panda Bear (so modern Disney), he'd still be banned.

      I leave you with a sample of Pooh's controversial rhetoric (be warned, quite offensive):

      "People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day." —Winnie-the-Pooh"

  8. AlgernonFlowers4
  9. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge
    Thumb Down

    Negative influence

    Unfortunately the Pooh doppelganger's influence is not just in China - His Belt and Road Initiative is bringing a new brand of colonialism and long term debt to those poor countries and their people in it's path.

    1. Hollerithevo Silver badge

      Re: Negative influence

      Mr or Ms F.A. Nutcase,

      They've been prusuing this for a while, but the American Trans-Pacific trade agreemnt was offering the southeast Asian countries an escape route. Now, unfortunately, that choice is gone, and they have very little wiggle-room in negotiations.

      The logical consequences, as I see it, is that all the goods and services the USA (and Europe) enjoys from the Pacific East will be offered on very different terms. I dont' think it willb e good for the USA. As with the Roman Empire, if you don't keep your troops, forts and walls in tip-top condition on the frontiers, it doesn't matter if your troops are superior, because the Goths, Alans etc will just keep on coming and a breached permeter is well-nigh impossible to repair.

      1. Pen-y-gors Silver badge
        Pint

        Re: Negative influence

        @Hollerithevo

        because the Goths, Alans etc will just keep on coming

        There was me about to make some snide comment about the problem of hordes of Alan Partridges, but I did a quick check. I can now add the Alans (or Aryans) to my list of invading tribes, along with the Visigoths, Ostrogoths and Vandals.

        Just doesn't have the same ring about it as Vandal! "You bloody Alan! look what you've done to my lawn!"

        Pint for educating me!

      2. Alan Brown Silver badge

        Re: Negative influence

        "the American Trans-Pacific trade agreemnt was offering the southeast Asian countries".. much the same, only on much worse terms.

        There, FTFY.

        China's flexing its muscles and stepping back up to the plate as a major power - something that it's been absent from over the last 300 years due to colonialism, civil wars and the rise in sea trade overtaking the importance of the Silk Route.

        Unlike other countries I could mention it's managing its economic expansion and growth in international trade WITHOUT planting its gunboats in other countries' harbours and threatening to blow the local government sky high(**) unless the people on the pointy end of the barrels decided to trade on the terms of the people with the matches.

        (**) Some didn't even bother with the threats and just blew african coastal civilizations to bits without any warning, then called them primitive barbarians deserving to be conquered and enslaved.

  10. Rupert Fiennes Bronze badge

    Communist leaders and their sensitivities

    Xi's not the only one: Xiaoping (as in Deng Xiaoping) can mean little glass bottle in China, and a form of protest around 1989 was to smash bottles and leave them in the street, something that caught out some Western exchange students who got pissed one night and decided to play a game of "lets see who can throw the empty bottles into that fountain". Gorbachev effectively means hunchback in Russian, and Chernenko apparently means little black man in Ukrainian.

    1. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge

      Re: Communist leaders and their sensitivities

      And as for Trump...

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Communist leaders and their sensitivities

        Supposedly Trump is slang for "passing gas" in UKistania.

        Anonymous to protect me from our Glorious Leader Trump.

        1. Chronos Silver badge
          Mushroom

          Re: Communist leaders and their sensitivities

          Supposedly Trump is slang for "passing gas" in UKistania.

          Which is why I refer to said bewigged moron as "Arsenoise."

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Communist leaders and their sensitivities

          Supposedly Trump is slang for "passing gas" in UKistania.

          It's a noun. A "trump" can either mean a loud fart or the noise played before Armageddon - "the last trump".

          That sounds pretty much what it means in the land of the breakfast burrito.

          1. Giovani Tapini Silver badge

            Re: Communist leaders and their sensitivities

            Which one of those was the Trump that Nellie the elephant did when she said goodbye to the circus? It doesn't seem to fit either.,.

            1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge
              Unhappy

              Re: Communist leaders and their sensitivities

              Giovani Tapini,

              You utter bastard! I used to like that song. Happy childhood memories and all that. I was never quite sure if leaving with a trumpety-trump was because she was making a trumpeting noise and that just didn't scan - or if it was trump trump trump as in the rumbling sound of a very heavy thing stamping on the ground.

              But now you're telling me that Nelly the Elephant was so pissed off with working conditions at the circus, that she packed her trunk (i.e. stuffed herself with a whole load of baked bean and onion bhajis and a brussels sprout chaser) - then committed elephantine chemical warfare.

              No wonder the Big Top was billowing!

              Next you'll be telling me that there's some sort of sexual innuendo in Tie Me Kangaroo Down Sport...

              1. Pedigree-Pete
                Happy

                @ I ain't Spartacus ref Tie me Kangeroo down Sport..

                Sexual inuendo....there is now. Thanks IaS.

        3. Pedigree-Pete
          Happy

          Re: Communist leaders and their sensitivities

          Trump = In UK English The Toy Dolls put it best..

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eti21PVHXrg

          1. jake Silver badge

            Re: Communist leaders and their sensitivities

            Dig that groove, baby.

      2. bombastic bob Silver badge
        Trollface

        Re: Communist leaders and their sensitivities

        Every leader, most likely, has *something* for which they _SHOULD_ be made fun of. Whenever there's a leader you can NOT make fun of (whether for political correctness or political oppression reasons) there's something *seriously* *WRONG* with that picture...

        1. Aladdin Sane Silver badge

          Re: Every leader, most likely, has *something* for which they _SHOULD_ be made fun of.

          If you can't say "Fuck", you can't say "Fuck the government".

          Lenny Bruce

    2. Roj Blake Silver badge

      Re: Communist leaders and their sensitivities

      And Cameron means "man who is fellated by livestock" in English.

  11. Paul Herber Silver badge

    Tibet

    I'm sure a mention of Tibet would be appreciated as well.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Tibet

      Can we also reference the financal interests of family members wtih unexplained wealth?

    2. Voyna i Mor Silver badge

      Re: Tibet

      I have a book written by a French explorer in 1939-40 about Tibet and how the Chinese were gaining influence by putting down bandits and stopping the monks from oppressing the peasants.

      I'm not excusing the Chinese but Tibetan Buddhism was pretty horrible and Buddha would doubtless have felt about it the way Jesus would feel about the Orange Order*. The Dalai Lama may be a progressive guy but his predecessors were not.

      The Cultural Revolution was an utter disaster for just about everybody in the Chinese sphere of influence and Hong Kong and Taiwan were incredibly lucky to avoid it, but Tibet has a bit more nuance than you might think.

      *What is it about the colours orange and yellow and dodgy religions?

      1. Rupert Fiennes Bronze badge

        Re: Tibet

        This book may be of interest to you

        https://www.amazon.co.uk/Japanese-Agent-Tibet-Travel-Disguise/dp/0906026245

        It was noticeable that the writer stayed with a family on the Tibetan border who cordially hated both his own country and the Chinese, on the basis that whomever ran the area at any one time tended to demand the right to sleep with his wife. As you say, Tibet was not a well run country pre-1950. That being said, post 1950 has been a lot worse :-(

      2. Francis Boyle Silver badge

        Re: Tibet

        The Dalai Lama may be a progressive guy but his predecessors were not.

        Or maybe not.

      3. Alan Brown Silver badge

        Re: Tibet

        "The Dalai Lama may be a progressive guy but his predecessors were not."

        And neither are many of his contemporaries in a certain other "Buddhist" country to the southeast, which has experienced what can only be described as "religious clensing" since 1962 (which is at the root of the refugee crisis going on there at the moment)

        1. Aladdin Sane Silver badge

          Re: Dodgy religions

          Is there any other kind?

      4. mintus55

        Re: Tibet

        china ended feudalism in tibet which is huge but here we just hear people crying about the dalai lama, not celebrating the end of slavery.

        i'm not sure how legit tibetan buddhism is as a religion because steven seagal was once recognised as the official reincarnation of an historic lama

        1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

          Re: Tibet

          I think you'll find Steven Segal is the re-incarnation of the Ate-Pie Lama.

          Basically he had to find religion in order to have an excuse to abandon trousers and shirts for the more slimming robed look.

          It also gives him inspiration for writing the dialogue in his excellent films...

  12. Trollslayer Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    Who needs Zorro?

    We have El Reg!

    1. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

      Re: Who needs Zorro?

      We have El Reg! .... Trollslayer

      Beware Paper Tigers, Trollslayer ..... and the Virtual Trojan which prances as a Champion in one's midsts.

      What's the naked truth? El Reg has captive audiences or audiences captivate El Reg? Or is it really quite a bit of both and something altogether more different and mostly novel?

      Needless to say is an alien view defaulted to the latter.

      And ..... if the gospel truth be told ..... Who needs Zorro when we have Ones and Zeroes?

    2. Primus Secundus Tertius Silver badge

      Re: Who needs Zorro?

      I congratulate el Reg for publishing this article. Sir Humphrey Appleby would have called it a courageous decision.

  13. Allan George Dyer Silver badge

    Not the entirity of China...

    "ban pretty much any mention or image of the stuffed animal in the entire country"

    Nope. The film is in cinemas in Hong Kong and Macau. One Country, Two Systems!

    [Note: One Country, Two Systems policy is a time-limited offer, and not guaranteed to apply in cases of abduction of booksellers, disqualification of opposition lawmakers, banning of a political party or at the Kowloon Express Rail Link Terminus. Please enjoy the film, while you can.]

    1. John Savard Silver badge

      Re: Not the entirity of China...

      When Britain returned Hong Kong to Chinese control in 1997, statements publicly made at the time made it clear that "One Country, Two Systems" was limited to 50 years, and, more importantly, was not part of the essence of the agreement. Which means that if China should decide to impose its system on Hong Kong at some time in the future, Britain is not allowed by the terms of the relevant treaty to treat this as causus belli and take Hong Kong right back.

      Of course, this is sadly understandable, since mainland China has got its hands on the Maxim gun, oops, sorry, nuclear weapons.

      1. Voyna i Mor Silver badge

        Re: Not the entirity of China...

        "Britain is not allowed by the terms of the relevant treaty to treat this as causus belli and take Hong Kong right back."

        The massive disparity in military power and the relative distances surely outweigh any treaties anyway. We only just managed to get the Falklands back. And if it happened again, we perhaps could not.

      2. eldakka Silver badge
        Coat

        Re: Not the entirity of China...

        Which means that if China should decide to impose its system on Hong Kong at some time in the future, Britain is not allowed by the terms of the relevant treaty to treat this as causus belli and take Hong Kong right back.

        Is this why the Brits have built themselves a couple super(ish) carriers?

        1. Voyna i Mor Silver badge

          Re: Not the entirity of China...

          "Is this why the Brits have built themselves a couple super(ish) carriers?"

          To provide targets for the hypersonic missiles of the Chinese Navy? I'm sure we could have done it cheaper.

        2. Alan Brown Silver badge

          Re: Not the entirity of China...

          "Is this why the Brits have built themselves a couple super(ish) carriers?"

          What are they going to do with those carriers? Sail them into Kowloon harbour and launch paper aircraft off the bow?

          1. Giovani Tapini Silver badge

            Re: Not the entirity of China...

            Sail? At least one will probably need to be towed...

          2. Allan George Dyer Silver badge

            Re: Not the entirity of China...

            @Alan Brown - "Sail them into KowloonVictoria harbour and launch paper aircraft off the bow?"

            FTFY

      3. Allan George Dyer Silver badge

        Re: Not the entirity of China...

        @John Savard -

        "When Britain returned Hong Kong to Chinese control in 1997, statements publicly made at the time made it clear that "One Country, Two Systems" was limited to 50 years," - Yes.

        " and, more importantly, was not part of the essence of the agreement." [citation needed] - I don't recall that.

        But this is besides the point. China made the promise of "One Country, Two Systems" to the people of Hong Kong, in the form of The Basic Law, which the National People's Congress adopted in 1990. It is The Basic Law that says we [I am a British citizen living in Hong Kong with permanent residence, so that includes me] can watch films about Winnie the Pooh (Article 27, Freedom of Speech). However, many people here are worried that the protections under The Basic Law are being eroded before the supposed 50 years are up... for instance, the abduction of booksellers (Article 28, no arbitrary or unlawful arrest, detention or imprisonment).

        As to Britain's involvement... no-one here is under any illusion that Britain has the military might to fight a war over HK. I don't think anyone wants a return to British rule... even the Hong Kong National Party (soon to be banned), who often wave the colonial flag at protests, advocate independence, not colonial rule. However, the Joint Declaration was an agreement between China and Britain, therefore, Britain has every right to speak out when China breaks the agreement. Sadly, the value of trade with China and the pressures of Brexit make it likely that Britain will turn a blind eye.

  14. anthonyhegedus Silver badge

    <censored>

    Well I'd like to add that <censored> and that <censored>-the-<censored> and his friend <censored> the donkey do look a lot like <censored>.

    <censored> boil his head <censored>

    And on a separate note, I bought one of these Mesh Wifi things, not one of the mainstream ones, but one made and designed by a Chinese company. It really is very good indeed and appears to be functioning perfectly. Not had any problems with it at all.

    1. Ken Moorhouse Silver badge

      Re: It really is very good indeed and appears to be functioning perfectly.

      Are you sure? It seems to be corrupting specific words with <censored>

      1. Francis Boyle Silver badge

        ██ ██████ ███████

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        █████████ ██████ █ ██████ ████████ ███ █ ████████ █████ ███████ ████ █████ ██ ████ ██ █████████ █████████ █ ███████████ ███████████ ███ ████ ████████ ███████ █ █████ █████ ████ ██████ ███ ███████ ██████████ █████ █████ ██████ ██████████ ██████ █ █████ ███████ ████ ██████ ███ ████ █████ ███ █████ ████ ███████ █████ █████████ ███████ ████ █████████ ███ ████ ███████ ████ ████ ██████ █████ fishcakes!

  15. JeffyPoooh Silver badge
    Pint

    Oh dear...

    I do awfully hope that my dear, dear cousin Winnie will be okay.

    1. Whiskers
      Linux

      Re: Oh dear...

      So anthropomorphism cuts both ways ....

  16. Absent

    I was in China recently and was surprised that I couldn't find a western news site that was blocked. Even Infowars and such wasn't blocked, much to Alex Jones' shock I would assume.

    1. nice spam database '); drop table users; --
      Thumb Up

      You found out that Western characterization of China is nothing but capitalist propaganda.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JI8AMRbqY6w

    2. nanchatte

      I couldn't find a western news site that was blocked. Even Infowars and such wasn't blocked,

      That's because Infowars is a fantasy role-play site, not a news vendor.

    3. Allan George Dyer Silver badge

      The blocking seems to be highly variable. Hotels used by westerners seem to have less restrictions. A link might work, but fail with a timeout a few hours later. After a while, every foreign site might fail. Certain Chinese keywords might trigger heavier blocking.

      You could put this down to rubbish infrastructure, or a subtle plan to make the Great Firewall undocumentatble.

      1. Alan Brown Silver badge

        "You could put this down to rubbish infrastructure, or a subtle plan to make the Great Firewall undocumentatble."

        As far as I can tell, chinese are fairly free to criticise their government or anything else for that matter.

        What REALLY worries the authorities is any sign of _organised_ activity (or incitement to organise) and that's what makes them jump rapidly.

  17. apveening

    Comparing Xi with a bear is one thing, but what about the comparison of Shinzo Abe with an ass?

    https://regmedia.co.uk/2018/08/03/pooh-ping3.jpg

  18. nice spam database '); drop table users; --
    IT Angle

    From the opening sentence the anti-Chinese tone is evident. The content is so politically loaded that the IT part gets hidden.

    Btw, nobody said a word when the US blew their own buildings to get an excuse to embark in middle east invasions.

    1. Rich 11 Silver badge

      Go and wibble elsewhere, sad little wibbler.

    2. Mephistro Silver badge
      Big Brother

      I strongly doubt that the Chinese Government needs any external help to stain its own reputation. It's one of those "marvellous places" where you can be imprisoned for publicly disagreeing with "the State"*, FFS!

      *note: e.g. Ai Wei Wei, or many other people in this list: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Chinese_dissidents

      1. HolySchmoley Bronze badge

        >I strongly doubt that the Chinese Government needs any external help to stain its own reputation.

        Interesting how this ague seems to have spread to a certain prominent Western country in recent decades.

    3. John Savard Silver badge

      "nobody said a word when the US blew their own buildings to get an excuse to embark in middle east invasions"

      Perhaps because that didn't actually happen.

      However, there's this enormous "9/11 Truth" movement, and many of its followers operate in the United States, where they have not become political prisoners.

      Also, a phrase like "anti-Chinese tone"; since the People's Republic of China doesn't have a free press and free elections, of course any honest appraisal of that society will be... critical... as would be the case, for example, in a discussion of Germany under the rule of the National Socialist German Workers' Party, and for much the same reasons.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Depends on your view.

        There is / was good footage and questions to be answered in the aftermath of the situation, not what happened but what happened AFTER. (CCTV of the "plane" that hit the pentagon showing it was the size of a car, lack of plane wreckage, perfect shaped hole on the interior wall of the pentagon, film during an interview showing a building still up that held Govt records that then "fell down" etc)

        And as per normal US mentality, rather than dismiss these things with fact (all CCTV footage was grabbed and disappeared) they let it spiral.

        No smoke without fire but a lot of smoking people involved around the Pentagon at least, and they all carry matches. Fahrenheit 911 is worth a watch.

        1. Nifty

          Re: Depends on your view.

          "...lack of plane wreckage, perfect shaped hole on the interior wall of the pentagon, film during an interview showing a building still up..."

          Hadn't you heard of the medias tendency to grab old stock images and clips when they can't get real images in a hurry? Some of which will have been taken from movies.

    4. eldakka Silver badge

      when the US blew their own buildings

      I know people say Americans have big mouths, but come on, they aren't that big.

    5. disgustedoftunbridgewells Silver badge

      Back to twitter with you.

  19. WibbleMe

    So perhaps if we all said Black Rinos look like Xi then they will be banned as well and help save them from extinction... oh too late, well done China

  20. Randall Shimizu

    This just goes to show just how paranoid Xi and China's communist party is. There is much more civil discontent than most people are lead to believe.

  21. Orbsus

    I wouldn't mind trying a ban on sitcoms/soaps/ reality tv, I think it would be an interesting experiment, I fully believe people imitate what they see on soaps and reality tv and believe it's the normal way to act and behave

    1. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

      Novel Programs and Brave New More Orderly World Order Projects are Busy Beaming In their Ways

      I wouldn't mind trying a ban on sitcoms/soaps/ reality tv, I think it would be an interesting experiment, I fully believe people imitate what they see on soaps and reality tv and believe it's the normal way to act and behave .... Orbsus

      Of course the great unwashed and undereducated imitate what they see and hear ....... and it is media's raison d'être ...... inform, educate and entertain .... but it is a mighty powerful beast unleashed now that the status quo no longer control with impunity and command to do their wishes, for there are those who and that which are significantly better at playing and directing the future in/with the art via AI Remote Virtual Reality Programming Levers

      1. Ken Moorhouse Silver badge

        Re: “Broadcast” is the old word for scattering seed

        Hmm Savile seems to have taken this metaphor a bit too literally.

    2. disgustedoftunbridgewells Silver badge

      Fine, but can we class Bake Off as educational ( also the BBC's Great British Big Brother Bake Off )

  22. Voyna i Mor Silver badge

    A A Milne

    Are you sure you've got the right one? I may be wrong but IIRC it was Shepherd (Wind in the Willows) who had a difficult relationship with his son. Milne didn't until long after the Pooh episode. Milne stopped writing children's books because he was worried about the effect on his son, but it was much later before the son became estranged. The confusion may arise because Milne did a well known theatrical adaptation of Wind in the Willows (Toad of Toad Hall).

    Milne was invalided out of WW1 but stayed in the Army in a desk role (writing propaganda) till after the war and subsequently became very anti-war for a while, evidence of his bad judgement being an attack of pacifism in 1934.

    But someone more obsessive about Punch and Milne than I may be able to correct me. I'd like to know.

    1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge
      Pint

      Re: A A Milne

      My Nan told me she made two awful mistakes in the late 20s / early 30s. She joined the peace movement and marched against re-armament - which she felt she was punished for as her house was the 16th to get destroyed in South London, they were hit in early September 1940, just as the Luftwaffe were strarting to do heavy damage to the RAF's airfields but Hitler switched them to terror bombing anyway.

      The even worse decision though was that she signed The Pledge. Apparently a big campaign in the 20s, and she solemnly promised never to drink alcohol again. I think it wasn't until the 60s when she saw the error of her ways on that one though...

      She'd just got a couple of pork chops with a bit of the kidney still on - and I think they might have been off ration. Naughty naughty. And she demanded the fire brigade tunnel into the unstable wreckage of her house to rescue them. When they sensibly refused, she apparently accused them of stealing them. I guess when you're in a tin shelter at the bottom of the garden, the concussion from the explosion probably doesn't help your mental state. Also it apparently knackered her brand new set of saucepans. That Hitler, what a bastard.

  23. John Savard Silver badge

    "he emotionally abandoned the young boy, leaving him in a perpetual state of fury for the rest of his childhood and scarring him for the rest of his life"... really? For some reason, not even a hint of this appears in the Wikipedia article about Christopher Robin Milne. But there is also nothing about him supporting any unpopular political causes, so I can't explain that as a joke either.

  24. David Roberts Silver badge
    Linux

    Hush, hush, whisper who dares..

    Christopher Robin is saying his prayers.

    Allegedly this made it very difficult for CR to engage in any act of public worship.

    Nearest I could get to a Pooh Bear icon.

    1. mintus55

      Re: Hush, hush, whisper who dares..

      hush hush whisper who dares,

      little boy kneels at the foot of the stairs,

      blood on the carpet

      fur on the mat

      christopher robin has castrated the cat

      1. Voyna i Mor Silver badge

        Re: Hush, hush, whisper who dares..

        Everyone laughs

        Nobody cares

        Christopher Robin

        Has fallen downstairs.

  25. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I like...

    ...The comparison between Tiger and our former president. Seems logical to me.

  26. Winkypop Silver badge
    Trollface

    Badly drawn dictator

    This seems more of a slur on Pooh Bear than that Xi fella.

  27. Bob Vistakin
    Megaphone

    As long as no-one mentions they eat dogs

    We'll all be OK. Oh, wait...

  28. nanchatte

    Just how much of an...

    ... utter snowflake do you have to be to have your ego punctured irreparably by a simple picture of Pooh.

    Beggars belief.

  29. Steve 114
    Flame

    Fake news?

    'they may have mown down their own students with real tanks...' Any actual evidence of that? One tank stopped when a man stood in front. Tanks only entered the Square aftere it had been (OK, roughly) cleared. Meanwhile, townsfolk did hang some out-of-town soldiers from bridges - there IS evidence of that. Poo bah, rather than Pooh Bear.

    1. Kevin McMurtrie Silver badge

      Re: Fake news?

      There are documentaries that have gathered a good number of photos from the protest's aftermath. I don't have the stomach to examine the photos enough to see if tanks did that or not.

    2. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

      Re: Fake news?

      As I recall that famous photo of the guy stopping the column of tanks was from after the protests had been crushed. Literally in a few cases, others were just shot. Which is why the guy was considered so brave. I think it was a spontaneous gesture of disgust/anger/defiance rather than a part of the protests.

      There'd been a relatively peaceful stand-off with the military for days beforehand. I think the tanks rolled over a camp set up near the square, and there were still some people in the tents, and there may have been a few other incidents. But mostly protesters were shot or beaten. The journalists were all around Tiananmen Square, but the army had to fight its way through the whole city, to get to it. That has been a lot less well documented, given the government tried to suppress all the information it could.

  30. Denarius Silver badge

    regardless, Nice try El Reg

    A good piece of gentle trolling. Very amusing. The common news is becoming more like a quiet day on Disk World methinks. Now all we need is an orangutan in an authority position. Oh wait...

  31. Aladdin Sane Silver badge

    “When you tear out a man's tongue, you are not proving him a liar, you're only telling the world that you fear what he might say.”

    ― George R.R. Martin, A Clash of Kings

    1. jake Silver badge

      Mental health needs a great deal of attention. It's the final taboo and it needs to be faced and dealt with.

      ― Adam Ant

  32. Steve Knox

    Interesting cultural intersection.

    Now can you do a piece on the Annoying Orange and see if Trump will ban you?

    1. Voyna i Mor Silver badge

      Interesting cultural intersection.

      Surely not. Trump has a mutual dependency with the media - if they don'tr exist, how can he keep tweeting about fake news?

  33. Petalium

    So why do you call Taiwan “Taiwan, province of China” when you select a country on the profile page. Hypocrites!

    1. Boothy

      Won't that depend on which China they are referring to?

      i.e. 'Republic of China' or 'People's Republic of China'.

      Where 'Republic of China' was the Chinese government before the communists took over, and Taiwan still considers themselves to be part of the 'Republic of China'.

      Technically, Taiwan is just the island, 'Republic of China' is the country, much to the annoyance of the 'People's Republic of China' of course.

  34. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Yes, put your money where your mouth is and put your phone down...

    Or are you too hooked to your shiny, shiny. Oh, turn off your servers too, bound to be full of Chinese components.

  35. Florida1920 Silver badge
    Pint

    Glad to see

    Winnie the Pooh Xi Jinping get a well-deserved slap down. When Nixon "opened the door" to China by legitimizing the Mao regime (while the Cultural Revolutionaries brainwashed thugs were still murdering anyone who knew more than they did), many of us who had reached the age of consciousness knew no good would come of it. Western Capitalism, who thought they saw a gold mine in cheap Chinese labor and a willingly-complicit government organized criminal enterprise can surely take credit for Xi Jinpooh. Like so many other chickens hatched for similar greedy reasons, that one will eventually come home to roost.

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