back to article Adtech-for-sex biz tells blockchain consent app firm, 'hold my beer'

Struggling to have a conversation with your partner about getting down and dirty? Well here’s an idea – use embedded native advertising to con them into initiating sex instead. In the adtech world’s race to the bottom, a company has sprung up offering desperate men (yes, it is targeted at men) a service that claims it will get …

  1. malle-herbert Silver badge
    Joke

    Time for a new browser plugin...

    CockBlock pro !

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Time for a new browser plugin...

      I thought JunkBuster already had that facility.

  2. horse of a different color

    Missing a trick

    I think they’re missing a trick here. They could include adverts like -

    - Why your mother should stay at home and never visit

    - Your husband missing a birthday/anniversary- not such a big deal after all

    - Why your husband should have drinks with his mates every week

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Missing a trick

      - Why being talked at without stopping for breath for an hour as soon as he gets home from work is unlikely to put him in the mood

      1. horse of a different color

        Re: Missing a trick

        - Flowers from the local garage - the most romantic Valentine's gift

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Missing a trick

          - Why buying flowers does not mean he's having an affair.

          - Scientists show why farts are a sign he's enjoyed your cooking.

    2. The Nazz Silver badge

      Re: Missing a trick

      17) Don't tell him you are a lesbian until you're married.

      18) Do tell him that you "do not like voyeurs even if you are my husband."

      1. Nattrash

        Re: Missing a trick

        I don't know how you men do it, but we females, if we're lesbians, most of the time look for a compatible partner. You know, like, ermm, a female..?

        1. onefang Silver badge

          Re: Missing a trick

          "I don't know how you men do it, but we females, if we're lesbians, most of the time look for a compatible partner. You know, like, ermm, a female..?"

          Dunno about other men, but I do almost exactly the same, looking for a compatible partner that is a female. The only difference is the ones I look for are not lesbians. I guess either of us would be happy with a bisexual female.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Struggling to have a conversation with your partner about getting down and dirty? Well here’s an idea – use embedded native advertising to con them into initiating sex instead.

    Uh huh. Here's a view from a amateur psychologist.

    The target audience (desperate men whose partners aren't interested in having sex with them) should consider things for about ten seconds and then come to the obvious conclusion. The lady is not actually enjoying things which is why she's not interested.

    If you can't communicate about resolving something like this when your married, then your relationship has a very short shelf life which has probably already passed the "best before" date.

    1. DropBear Silver badge

      Wait, what? There _are_ partners who _are_ ever interested in having sex with their husbands?

  4. Blockchain commentard Silver badge

    And if this has even a smidgeon of success, next it's politics.

    The big elephant in the room though is that targeted advertising just doesn't work.

    If blokes want to get their 'target' in the mood here's a hint. Be nice to them. Buy flowers/chocolates. Don't come home drunk demanding food on the table. You know, the basics.

    1. DJO Silver badge

      If blokes want to get their 'target' in the mood here's a hint.

      This targets the "once an arsehole, always an arsehole" demographic. Anybody capable of following your hints wouldn't "need" this degenerate service.

      Anyway - Only in America, this would break so many laws in Europe that happy, smiling lawyers would be queueing up have a go at them.

      1. Neil Brown

        They’re based in London...

        Must contain letters.

  5. Captain Hogwash Silver badge
    Joke

    Re: Buy flowers/chocolates

    And they have the audacity to say men are simple creatures.

  6. tkioz
    Facepalm

    Just when I thought people on the Internet had reached the creepy limit this brave group manages to push onwards...

  7. disgustedoftunbridgewells Silver badge
    Joke

    Do they take bitcoin?

  8. Alistair Silver badge
    Coat

    I married a redhead.

    #title says it all.

  9. The First Dave Silver badge

    Can they take it out of this weeks housekeeping? Looks like she has plenty in the jar

  10. Andy Mac
    Big Brother

    JFDI

    For all us Duckduckgo users.

    1. Solarflare
      Angel

      Re: JFDI

      You want to do WHAT to a duck? That's disgusting.

      1. Andy Mac
        Gimp

        Re: JFDI

        Don’t knock it til you’ve tried it.

        1. Bernard M. Orwell
          Coat

          Re: JFDI

          ...Is it all its quacked up to be?

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Just when you think society can go no lower, it does.

  12. tiggity Silver badge

    Cheers for clarifying

    What “play slots!” meant - when I saw article title was sex biz , and saw that term, I was certainly not thinking one armed bandits

    1. frank ly

      Re: Cheers for clarifying

      The idea is to get them thinking about the one-armed bandit so their man can get a jackpot.

    2. Swarthy Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: Cheers for clarifying

      More about the one-eyed bandit?

  13. onefang Silver badge

    So you pay your money, send your wife the link, and maybe three months later, she'll have sex with you. Not being a married man myself, I'm wondering if there's quicker ways to get it done?

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Did zUckERbErG create this on his day off `

    Or is everyone in silly 'con' valley just as f'ing twisted?!

    Bring on Terminator-Killer-AI as our species is fucked...

    1. EarthDog

      Re: Did zUckERbErG create this on his day off `

      Silly valley is 90% brogrammers and other such ilk. So their understanding of female psychology and all the variations thereof is.... non-existent. But if it doesn't work it is obviously due to the fact the user doesn't know how to use the software properly, and the universe should change to match the software. Right?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Did zUckERbErG create this on his day off `

        And as people have pointed out, this has nothing to do with Silicon Valley, so your accusations are irrelevant.

        Though it might just have come from Silicon Hell.

  15. IHateWearingATie

    My wife thinks this is more likely to have been secretly created by a few women as a way of getting cash from *really* stupid men

    She's probably right.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      The second part, certainly.

      Anyone remember pheromone sprays?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        "Anyone remember pheromone sprays?"

        The pheromone sticky traps for clothes-eating moths work. I hung one up - and couldn't believe the almost instant presence of (presumably) male moths fluttering towards it.

        How researchers identified what chemicals are pheromones is interesting - as by definition they are odourless to the normal sense of smell. "Jacobson's Organ and the remarkable nature of smell" by Lyall Watson is an interesting read.

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Please, El Reg, get rid of the Outbrain 'You Might Also Like' bar across the page! Yes, there are a few links there to other El Reg articles, but also links to PPI loan checks, hearing aid ads and... swimsuit ads!!!! (serves me right for clicking on an El Reg 'smut' link) (and, no, this browser is locked down so I can't add an adblocker)

    1. Throatwarbler Mangrove Silver badge
      FAIL

      Shouldn't you be working?

  17. katrinab Silver badge
    Angel

    If I got access to that mailing list ...

    It might go something like:

    8 Reasons why you should dump him now

    One of them would be a link to

    "Do lesbians have better sex than straight women?" in the Guardian

    https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2018/jul/09/do-lesbians-have-better-sex-than-straight-women

    The answer is yes by the way

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Gas

    My ex-wife was putting on weight so she got hold off a recipe for "Fat burning soup". The smell of this stuff cooking was bad, it had a *lot* of cabbage in it. Then the farts, OMG, this woman could have won the Olympic fartathon if they had one.

    Targeted ads. would have to have been, " Why cabbage is not sexy" or something similar :(

    Happy Friday everyone! <single now, so goes to pub>

    1. katrinab Silver badge

      Re: Gas

      Targeted ads should surely be "why men love curves" or something along those lines?

      1. The Nazz Silver badge

        Re: Gas

        There are curves and there are folds.

        Please choose carefully.

  19. Mike_G

    Do they do a package that keeps the misses away from me? Im a little sore and tired, woudl gladly pay for some sleep :)

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      "Do they do a package that keeps the misses away from me?"

      Sounds like the story of "His Lordship"*** - or was that a typo for "missus"?

      *** popular books by Leslie Thomas in the 1970s are no longer PC. Different times - different mores.

  20. Throatwarbler Mangrove Silver badge
    Stop

    A cunning ploy . . .

    . . . but I'm still not turning off my Pi Hole.

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    This is incredibly misogynistic alright

    Where's the option for wives who want their husbands to be more physically affectionate?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: This is incredibly misogynistic alright

      Those have been around since the 80s at least.

      This for example contains advice on how to convince your partner that science has proven a direct correlation between promotion chances and how often you eat pussy.

      ... I was a schoolboy, okay? Schoolgirls were reading it and some of them ... left it unattended.

      1. Robert Carnegie Silver badge

        Re: This is incredibly misogynistic alright

        To answer you:

        The following appears to be a joke about a Jewish gentleman, which may be a required detail.

        He was talking to a friend and said, ”I prefer to sleep alone. I believe in celibacy. In fact, ever since we were married, my wife and I have had separate rooms.”

        ’’But,” said the friend, ’’supposing during the night you feel that you would like a little love, what do you do?”

        ”Oh,” replied the other, ”I just whistle.”

        The friend was astonished, but went on to ask, "But supposing it is the other way round and your wife feels that she would like a little loving - what happens then?”

        ”Oh,” he replied, "she comes to my door and taps, and when I answer says, 'lkey, did you whistle?’”

      2. Robert Carnegie Silver badge

        According to Abba

        "Lovers (Live a Little Longer)"

        Medically proved apparently, or maybe it just SEEMS longer...

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