back to article Foot lose: Idiot perv's shoe-mounted upskirt vid camera explodes

A pervert in Wisconsin, USA, surrendered himself to the cops after a plan to secretly take photos under women's skirts blew up in his face, er, ankle. The unnamed creep hobbled into the Madison West District police station earlier this week complaining of a foot injury, and seeking to turn himself in. It turns out the bloke's …

  1. Camilla Smythe

    ISTR Alas Smith and Jones...

    Doing a face to face about having an eye on the end of your finger.

    ROTFLMAO. When you think about it some things do not stand the test of reason.

    1. jake Silver badge

      Re: ISTR Alas Smith and Jones...

      "You take pictures up skirts? Why?"

      "Because that's where the knickers are."

      The original is probably on YouTube, if you weren't watching Yank TV in the early '70s.

  2. Chairman of the Bored Silver badge

    Is it too early to ask....

    ...who "foots" the bill for his medical care?

    1. bombastic bob Silver badge
      Devil

      Re: Is it too early to ask....

      I'd consider paying for a full amputation at the neck... [juuust kidding]

      seriously, though, this kind of blatant stupidity should NEVER be paid for by "everybody else". Know-what-I-mean?

      Not only that, but pretty much everybody knows that shorting out a LiPo battery can make it burst into flames. His tech skills are obviously not worth much. I dunno why he'd use a LiPo anyway, considering that throwaway batteries would last longer. Ah, well, pervs aren't very smart to begin with.

    2. veti Silver badge

      Re: Is it too early to ask....

      Well, if he has any sense, obviously he'll sue the manufacturer of the camera for that. Plus a whole lot more to cover his pain, inconvenience and embarrassment.

    3. Scott Marshall

      Re: Is it too early to ask....

      ... and how long will it take him to "heel"?

      It would seem that exploding batteries are his "arch" nemesis.

  3. Tom Paine Silver badge
    WTF?

    Shoo, camera (sorry)

    The subject reported he had purchased a shoe camera

    I'm really struggling to conceive of a legitimate use case for such a device. Of course banning them won't stop pitiful creeps trying to build their own, but the comedy potential when the homebrew equivalents blow up could be pretty good, and there'd obviously be fewer attempts.

    1. DJO Silver badge

      Re: Shoo, camera (sorry)

      I'm really struggling to conceive of a legitimate use case for such a device.

      Well if they are designed to blow up and injure the voyeuristic creep, some people might consider that a reasonable use case.

      1. Dave 126 Silver badge

        Re: Shoo, camera (sorry)

        I stopped to think of a legitimate use and thought of a TV promo spot featuring a football being kicked from the point of view of a boot - but nah, one would just use a GoPro or similar for that.

        Reducing the number of upskirt photos is the reason many camera phones make a fake shutter noise that can't be disabled by the user.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Shoo, camera (sorry)

          Wouldn't they just use the video recording instead. Would probably mean they would get the shot they want with 4k video being normal these days on phone cameras and also 60FPS+ on some, would think they would get more 'gratification' from that, making the fake noise pointless these days. When they were first introduced probably not as video recording was poor back then.

    2. Mayday Silver badge
      Angel

      Re: Shoo, camera (sorry)

      "I'm really struggling to conceive of a legitimate use case for such a device."

      I'm a skydiver. Often skydivers attach cameras (such as GoPros) to their feet to take certain angled shots, such as during canopy piloting or wingsuiting. Presumably other "action" sports may do similar.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Shoo, camera (sorry)

      Looking under cars for bombs

  4. James O'Shea
    Paris Hilton

    err...

    With all of the vast quantity of pix of girls of various ages in various stages of undress which abound on the Internet for _free_, this moron (apologies to actual morons) tries to take pix himself... and blows himself up? For those who really want those kinds of pix, a simple search for 'upskirt pix' or similar will reveal (yes, I said it...) much. (Do that search on someone else's machine. I did. You wouldn't believe just how many pervs there are out there...) Certain Hollywierd movies, and not just 'Basic Instinct', either, are notorious for having upskirt shots, as are certain 'celebs'. Including one near and dear to the hearts of Reg commentards. And yet he felt the need to take his own pix. Damn, but he's an idiot. Squared and cubed.

    1. Flocke Kroes Silver badge

      Re: err...

      The goal was not to take pictures but to get away with doing something naughty. Demonstrating a level of stupidity sufficient to enter politics, the twit failed to get away with it by firstly confessing to a clergyman (mentioned in an article elsewhere) and then following the clergyman's advice by talking to the police.

    2. jake Silver badge

      Re: err...

      Let me preface this by saying that I don't condone such behavio(u)r ... However, would you take a picture of El Capitan and/or Half Dome and/or Bridal Veil Falls if you visited Yosemite? Why bother, when there are so many pictures of them freely available online?

      Yes, he's an idiot. And stupidity should hurt. But as a photographer, I can understand the draw to take his own pics. Shame he didn't singe himself a trifle higher up.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: err...

      Maybe he's more the predatory sort - anyone can search the internet for pictures, but his motive could be the thrill of the hunt and the feeling of power and control gained from taking intimate pictures without the subjects knowledge.

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: err...

      Whilst the guy did turn himself into the police (why?) he is clearly a derranged induvidual. Did he actually try to commit the crime he confessed too? The police blog does not mention recovering the camera.

    5. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: err...

      > he felt the need to take his own pix

      Perhaps he saw how popular they were online and thought he could make some money.

    6. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

      Re: err...

      "And yet he felt the need to take his own pix."

      There are certain mindsets that some people have where they want to be with the "in crowd". Some are "collectors" who just want everything they can get, even though they may never use most of it, eg people who who have libraries of millions of MP3s or films/TV shows they;ll never have time to watch or listen to. Then there's those who feel the need to "give back" to the groups they collected from and then get competitive and not only need to "give back" but to become number one in the group.

      In the case of sexual gratification, there are some who wank off to fairly innocuous porm/perv stuff but gradually increase the level of perviness until they can no longer wank off to the innocuous stuff they started with. I suppose it's what might be termed an addictive personality.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: err...

        'but gradually increase the level of perviness until they can no longer wank off to the innocuous stuff they started with. I suppose it's what might be termed an addictive personality.'

        Got a citation for this being the case?

    7. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge
      Happy

      Re: err...

      Are you suggesting there Is porn on the Internet?

      Say it ain't so!

    8. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: err...

      I don't believe its all about the pictures, but the act of doing it. The thrill of getting picture of someone that doesn't know and then getting away with it.

      The problem is if it is that which he was seeking then I would think the thrill would wear off after getting away with it a few times and then he would try going to the next level. What that is I don't know, toilet cams. peeping into people bed rooms at night, then what??

  5. a_yank_lurker Silver badge

    Missed

    You have to wonder at the dimness of some. This one appears to a notch above Darwin Award territory but not by much. So inept he can commit a crime.

    1. DJV Silver badge

      "notch above Darwin Award territory"

      As it was at shoe height, it was probably more like about 30 inches below Darwin Award territory! Unfortunately, as far as this individual is concerned, doing your best to blow your foot off doesn't actually stop you from procreating.

  6. sisk Silver badge

    Huh. I guess karma DOES work once in a while.

  7. cyberdemon
    Facepalm

    Smoking boots

    Congrats to El Reg for finding this gem for the 'Bootnotes' section.

  8. Blockchain commentard Silver badge

    If only there was a law banning morons.

    1. Nolveys Silver badge
      Windows

      If only there was a law banning morons.

      Wouldn't that cause the government to collapse?

      1. Chris G Silver badge

        "If only there was a law banning morons.

        Wouldn't that cause the government to collapse?"

        Exactly! If only there was a law banning morons!

      2. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge

        Couldn't they have charged him with wasting police time? Then again, they may have chosen not to, given the entertainment value of said sad case.

      3. Ken 16 Silver badge
        Trollface

        Not the ones led by like really really smart people who are also super stable.

    2. Not That Andrew

      The only thing that can stop a bad guy with a moon is a good guy with a moron.

    3. hammarbtyp Silver badge

      If only there was a law banning morons.

      That was tried, only some morons decided it wasn't in their best interest

      Sir Christopher Chope

  9. MiguelC Silver badge

    The real question is: did he want to get arrested?

    Why else would he confess his attempted crime to the police? He could just as well have gone to an E.R. and make something up about his injuries...

    1. onefang

      Re: The real question is: did he want to get arrested?

      He was having impure thoughts, there was a mighty flash and a loud bang, followed by a pain in his legs. Probably thought it was a sign from God, and decided to repent his sins. Go directly to Jail, do not collect 200 Hail Mary's.

    2. Rich 11 Silver badge

      Re: The real question is: did he want to get arrested?

      Indeed. It would have been a lot less embarrassing. He could have told them he was going to stick the camera up his arse but accidentally dropped it on his foot first, causing it to explode. The ER doc would have just shrugged and thought, "Not another one!"

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: The real question is: did he want to get arrested?

      That's what I thought, really weird logic in this one, not just for what he was trying to do but what he did after he failed to do it. If I were the police I'd keep a close eye on that one.

    4. RubberJohnny

      Re: The real question is: did he want to get arrested?

      Attention seeker with a mental health problem.

    5. My Alter Ego

      Re: The real question is: did he want to get arrested?

      I read somewhere else that he first went to his mentor (a clergyman) and then turned himself in, so I guess he was told to do so.

    6. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: The real question is: did he want to get arrested?

      Could be the nature of the injury - some injuries trigger investigative protocols (explosives, stabs, bullet wounds, 'strugg;e' bruises on minors or women etc)..

    7. Jason Bloomberg Silver badge

      Re: The real question is: did he want to get arrested?

      I'm guessing he thought he had some legitimate complaint that he'd been ripped off and/or injured by the guy who had sold him the camera, was expecting the cops to take a greater interest in that than what he had bought it for.

      I could have told him it wouldn't end well. When I strapped my Panasonic M1 VHS camcorder to my foot all I got was torn ligaments. But at least the sealed lead acid batteries didn't explode. Proper technology that; not dangerous magic moonbeams compacted in a foil wrapper.

    8. chivo243 Silver badge

      Re: The real question is: did he want to get arrested?

      @MiguelC

      My thoughts are lots of drugs and an extremely high degree of paranoia after a shot in the foot...

    9. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

      Re: The real question is: did he want to get arrested?

      "Why else would he confess his attempted crime to the police? He could just as well have gone to an E.R. and make something up about his injuries."

      Maybe he hadn't the wit to invent a good story (having his foot explode might have rattled what wits he had), reckoned ER would call the police anyway and found the cop shop was closer so he might as well settle for a short hobble and a longer ride.

    10. Ivan Headache

      Re: The real question is: did he want to get arrested?

      Apart from claiming to have trodden on a landmine (which is a bit drastic) I'm finding it difficult to come up with a plausible wxcuse.

    11. cheekybuddha

      Re: The real question is: did he want to get arrested?

      According to Ars Technica's report of the same story:

      “When the explosion happened, he got treatment for minor burns, then disclosed what happened to his mentor, a clergyman,” Madison police officer David Dexheimer told the Wisconsin State Journal. The clergyman told him to visit the police.

      https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2018/06/mans-creepy-upskirting-plan-foiled-when-his-shoe-camera-explodes/

    12. veti Silver badge

      Re: The real question is: did he want to get arrested?

      Yeah, that was my thought too. Perhaps it's just a plea for attention.

      Or maybe he just couldn't think of a plausible innocent reason for having a camera mounted in his shoe in the first place. I could relate to that.

      1. Cynic_999 Silver badge

        Re: The real question is: did he want to get arrested?

        "

        .. couldn't think of a plausible innocent reason for having a camera mounted in his shoe in the first place

        "

        He would obviously have removed the shoe + camera before visiting ER, and there's all manner of stories that would explain something catching fire close to his foot. Like dropping a Samsung onto it, for example ...

    13. VikiAi Silver badge

      Re: The real question is: did he want to get arrested?

      Cry for help, I guess. Reinforced by the pain.

    14. Youngone Silver badge

      Re: The real question is: did he want to get arrested?

      That's a fair question, and I did wonder the same thing briefly, but as noted in the comments, he must be an absolute moron who has never heard of the Internet.

    15. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: The real question is: did he want to get arrested?

      In America health care is only available to the rich and incarcerated

      1. Teiwaz Silver badge

        Re: The real question is: did he want to get arrested?

        In America health care is only available to the rich and incarcerated

        In NHS UK, the Mental Health budgets are always seemingly close to the red.

        Unless you can pay for it or have had it ordered by court, good luck getting it apart from some volunteer group run courses.

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The real question is...

    ... was this staged to provoke a media reaction to allow ever more restrictive legislation on photography in public places? Along "think of the children" lines, think of those unfortunate persons who choose to wear non-concealing clothing being photographed. Rather than dress appropriately, their right to wear non-concealing clothing while expecting unwarranted privacy must take precedence over our freedom to take photographs in public.

    How do you legislate what camera angle is illegal? Is there an equation based on the relative size of the clothing to the wearer? What if your camera is not concealed so it's obvious you are taking photos? What about overhead camera angles that reveal more of the upper body? What precise areas of the body are deemed "private"? Can an underdressed person cause a photographer to commit an offence, if the same photo would have been OK on someone properly dressed?

    Without well-defined rights to photography in public, It's a slippery slope.

    1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

      Re: The real question is...

      No the trick is to keep it vague: That way you can prosecute a photographer at a protest march or ban an image of a politician caught in-the-arms-of-a-damsel. And of course you need to make it an offence not to turn over all any phone or camera to the police to investigate.

      There is a funny talk by a law prof (LSE?) about whether lady Godiver should be prosecuted for public indecency or Peeping Tom for peeping.

      1. JohnFen Silver badge

        Re: The real question is...

        "whether lady Godiver should be prosecuted for public indecency"

        Lady G would be on safe ground in my state -- public nudity is perfectly legal here, except if the nudity is for "salacious purposes".

        1. veti Silver badge

          Re: The real question is...

          And in order to tell whether it was "for salacious purposes", obviously you'd have to peep. To see if she's riding the pommel suggestively, or has tassels on her... extremities.

          So that's Tom off the hook too. He was just doing his civic duty, however unpleasant.

  11. Sleep deprived
    Happy

    "Attempt to shoot covert "upskirt" clips of women's underwear"

    I would suspect he was hoping for some commando outfit...

  12. The Oncoming Scorn Silver badge
    Coat

    Archer

    Footloose going into the Danger Zone.

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The fail is strong with this one

    Should be charged with "conspiracy to infringe copyright" and "causing an explosion", that should keep him behind bars for a while.

  14. eldakka Silver badge
    Coat

    This reminds me of a story I heard in the 70's.

    It involves a guy who could tell girls what colour underwear they were wearing. It didn't involve any electronics, just a very highly polished shoe. It worked fine until one day he found a crack in his shoe...

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    In the interests of Equality

    are they also going to forbid taking pictures of Men's Crotches ?

    1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

      Re: In the interests of Equality

      No but Scotland will ban (hopefully) up-kilt images

  16. Jemma Silver badge

    Wisconsin state motto.

    "We're not quite as retarded as Texas"

  17. jake Silver badge

    Is there an award for inept pervs?

    If so, he's a shoe-in.

  18. iRadiate

    Clearly a noob

    He was obviously a newbie; dipping his toe in the water as it were.

  19. iRadiate

    Now we know what happened to all those Note 7s

    They've been repurposed as shoe cameras.

  20. TheProf

    shoe-mounted camera?

    "gimpy perp had bought a shoe-mounted camera "

    A shoe-mounted camera? That's a very specialised piece of equipment. Does it come under the purview of Dolcis or Dixons?

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The version of this story I read last night somewhere else said that he had confided to his minister about the injury who had then councelled him to turn himself in.

    Isnt it strange how much wierdness seems to be associated with the religious types?

  22. Denarius
    Coat

    could have been worse

    was he skirting disaster if he succeeded or by confessing. Mines the coat with the developer stains

  23. Stuart Halliday

    Wow, there's a thing I've never heard of before...

    The Register needs to inform us of more bizarre technology and the companies that make them.

  24. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Look ma I’m a professional cameraman...

    It takes a lot of footwork to survive in this business. The instructions said to just put your best foot forward. If it fails explosively try the other foot.

    If you need to hot-foot-it just go to the nearest police station. They'll understand... they have their own body cams, and are the primary consumers of your work.

    While you’re there fill out an application. FYI: Spying on people’s online activity pays better, and has less personal risk.

  25. Ben Trabetere

    No criminal charges?

    The police blotter states "Investigation continuing." Here's hoping it lead to criminal charges, if only to make it (and his name) a matter of public record.

    After all, he did confess to criminal attempt to commit voyeurism. And if he was stupid enough to talk about it with some of his idiot friends, they all could face conspiracy to commit voyeurism charges.

  26. Simon Harris Silver badge

    Will he learn from the error of his ways...

    and in future remain in-step with the law and toe the line?

  27. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    so he was attempting a chope!

    don't understand why people do choping

    you must have to be a choping idiot..

    (see "last leg" c4 if you don't understand the new term for it, it needs to get in the DICKtionary).

  28. theunregistered

    And there i was, thinking these upskirt videos were the result of dedicated people with hand held cameras falling down onto the ground wherever a skirt appeared...and not pervs. Never mind, i'll be walking about for a week looking at everyone's shoes now, thinking to myself, "if i see smoke, i'll shout gotcha!"

  29. Sgt_Oddball Silver badge

    maybe...

    He wanted to be further punished by the plod? Maybe encouraging them to put a shoe in?

  30. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge
    Coffee/keyboard

    The Farce is very strong in this one

    He should have used a bigger battery and he might have been eligible for a Darwin Award

  31. Winkypop Silver badge
    Unhappy

    Ummm, El Reg...

    Personally, I'm not comfortable with the story image you have chosen.

    It's neither funny nor clever. Some might see it as mild endorsement.

    However, I'm sure many may disagree with me.

  32. tiggity Silver badge

    Other than on something like standing room only public transport e.g. train, tube, bus, tram at peak times, how would some dodgy perv get his foot in position for shots without it being really obvious he was up to no good?

    .. Though given the amount of time I unfortunately spend on sardine special trains (where actually having a seat is just a fantasy) I suppose perv has lots of chances for his dubious activities.

    I assume the whole risk of getting caught / it involving "real people" (as opposed to pr0n actors) must be a major motivator - as others have said, plenty of imagery / vids on the web so most people could find whatever their particular fave peccadillo was. The Daily Fail sidebar of shame would (by all accounts) have kept him happy*

    * I have no desire to give Mail any ad revenue so do not visit links to it, but its sidebar of shame and hypocrisy (upskirt pics whilst articles are full of censorious guff) is legendary (in my case I read about the sidebar in Private Eye as the Mail double standards are frequently highlighted there)

  33. RedCardinal

    I'm confused (not for the first time!). Why did he go the police?

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