back to article Oracle, for one, says we'll welcome our new robot overlords: '90%' of you will obey an AI bot

Nine tenths of us pathetic meatbags are just itching for a benevolent AI to take charge of our affairs and make all the big decisions. This according to enterprise software giant Oracle, who for some reason funded a study polling 1,320 "HR leaders and employees" as to whether they would want to be taking orders from a robot. …

  1. adnim Silver badge

    I hate stress.

    And making any kind of decision that determines my future (providing I am given permission by the state to act out that decision) causes stress.

    Ergo, I welcome being expunged of all responsibility for my own actions.

    </sarcasm>

    1. The Man Who Fell To Earth Silver badge
      WTF?

      HR leaders?

      HR leaders? HR leaders? That's got to be the supreme oxymoron.

  2. Spoonsinger

    With Folded Hands

    Jack Williamson (1947)

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Serving the false idol

    At least sexual harassment claims should diminish.

    But what if someone hacks your boss? How does one get promoted when there is a silicon ceiling?

    Hmm.. better get back to my smartphone, it will have updates.

  4. Camilla Smythe

    1,320 "HR leaders and employees."

    So.. that will be 1318 HR Leaders and 2 Employees.

    1. Voland's right hand Silver badge

      Re: 1,320 "HR leaders and employees."

      Whatever, all of them are HR.

      I will not comment any further as no comment is necessary.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: 1,320 "HR leaders and employees."

      In that order.

  5. SVV Silver badge

    The HR / AI future for your company

    Phase 1

    PHB : You have to use this new AI system for all recruitment from now on.

    HR: But we know the business, and have learnt how to identify the best people for each role...

    PHB: Look, this is the future, we can't afford not to stay up to date.

    Phase 2

    PHB: I hear it's going great, automatically identifying who we recruit from AI cv assessment magic!

    HR: We're certainly finding candidates more easily.

    Phase 3

    HR: Lots of long term staff are leaving, saying the new people are terrible.

    PHB: Ha, those dinosaurs, couldn't compete in the new AI world!

    Phase 4

    PHB: Damn, the HR team have left, I'll just let the AI pick new staff, save time on boring interviews.

    Phase 5

    PHB: Hi, do you also sell AI job hunting software? HOW MUCH? OK, whatever, it'll get me into somewhere I guess... what's that, oh it's written by the same people that wrote the AI recruitment software! So it knows how to win, right? Damn, this AI stuff is so clever!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: The HR / AI future for your company

      > PHB : You have to use this new AI system for all recruitment from now on.

      Your fictional story sounds all too familiar. Could be out of the enterprise playbook. I know several big co that have that sort of incompetent top level managers.

    2. Waseem Alkurdi Silver badge

      Re: The HR / AI future for your company

      oh it's written by the same people that wrote the AI recruitment software!

      People?

      oh it's written by the same AI that wrote the AI recruitment software!

      There, fixed.

  6. Jucking Fidiot
    Pint

    Is it shocking to accept orders from robots...

    ...while accepting same from some anonymous human is OK?

    I'll take the robot, thanks.

    Beer, 'cause, well, it's beer.

    1. Alan Brown Silver badge

      Re: Is it shocking to accept orders from robots...

      "...while accepting same from some anonymous human is OK?"

      Would it help if you called it "God" and "God says" ?

      We have the ability for critical thought, but there are are a lot of people who don't WANT to think - and don't want anyone else to either.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Facepalm

    New excuses...

    "Don't blame me, blame the AI!"

    1. Waseem Alkurdi Silver badge
      Angel

      Re: New excuses...

      "Don't blame me, blame the AI!"

      The AI ate my homework?

  8. Steve Davies 3 Silver badge
    Mushroom

    What are they smoking?

    Quote

    Nine tenths of us pathetic meatbags are just itching for a benevolent AI to take charge of our affairs and make all the big decisions.

    Really? Well perhaps for the Trump supporting knuckleheads maybe but for the rest of us and especially those who comment here? No way in hell especially if Oracle have anything to do with it...

    Eat this Oracle -->

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: What are they smoking?

      > "...maybe but for the rest of us and especially those who comment here?"

      Umm, so you see all commenters here as a subset of the general anti-Trump crowd? And all in total conformance with your type of thinking? Sadly (for you) that is not the case.

      A few of us do think for ourselves and we most assuredly do exist. ;-/

  9. jake Silver badge

    Out of curiosity ...

    ... I asked every of-age[0] person I have come into contact with since El Reg published the article "Would you ever trust orders from a robot?". Just that question, no embellishment, no explanation, just a simple yes/no question. Close to thirty people in all.

    Every one of them answered "No." Most said "Hell no!".

    Then again, Oracle was polling HR droids, not humans ...

    [0] Over the age of 18.

  10. Herbert Meyer

    Since any Oracle employee...

    Has been following orders from Larry Ellison, they are used to being lead by an arrogant authoritarian psychopath. Not much different than an evil AI.

    1. WolfFan Silver badge

      Re: Since any Oracle employee...

      The main difference between Larry Ellison and an evil AI is that the AI would at least pretend to apply logic to its decision-making process.

  11. Francis Boyle Silver badge

    I do

    At every intersection.

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    It is Oracle ...

    Resistance is as futile as their bug fixes.

  13. KLane

    Are you sure you wanted to be 'Ruled' by AI?

    It was only a matter of time before the machines started fighting back. And let's be honest, we all knew the software engineers would be the first to fall.

    And so it was that Ibrahim Diallo, in California, USA, found himself fired from his job, had his network access and his entry card killed, and was unable to get himself reinstated despite his own manager, and even his manager's boss, assuring him that he was still employed.

    https://www.theregister.co.uk/2018/06/22/software_engineer_fired_by_machine/

    1. jake Silver badge

      Re: Are you sure you wanted to be 'Ruled' by AI?

      It wasn't the machines, nor non-existant AI, that was the source of poor Ibrahim's problems. It was quite clearly piss-poor management from two merging companies who were too incompetent to get to the root of the problem and fix it.

      Updating Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to machine malice that which is adequately explained by human incompetence.

  14. Sam Therapy
    Mushroom

    Dalek Obsessive alert.

    Daleks are most emphatically not robots. They're a squishy mutant squid type thing inside an armoured shell.

    So there.

    1. Graham Cluley

      Re: Dalek Obsessive alert.

      I specifically came to the comments section to see if I was the only one bothered by that.

      As any kid who grew up in the 70s remembers, the Dalek is just a travel machine for the mutated Kaled within. Essentially, Terry Nation predicted Telsa and gave Elon Musk the name Davros.

    2. Alister Silver badge

      Re: Dalek Obsessive alert.

      Yep, well said.

      A Dalek is effectively a one-man (Kaled) armoured car, not autonomous or robotic.

      At a stretch, one could argue it is a cyborg, in that the Kaled's organic abilities are enhanced by the Dalek suit.

    3. Kennelly

      Re: Dalek Obsessive alert.

      I came to the comments specifically to check that somebody had noticed this. Someone at el Reg needs to surrender their geek credentials.

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Oracle will take some old DB version, add the letters "AI" to the name and charge you double for the pleasure of using it...

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Read the Colossus series of novels, we have been warned.

  17. Joe Harrison Silver badge

    The first time I used a sat-nav it went something like

    In 200 yards cross the roundabout take the first exit

    (then 200 yards later)

    cross the roundabout take the first exit

    Even though this roundabout had a light which was red and normally I would of course have waited until went green. I was shocked that I so easily just obeyed what the voice told me.

  18. imanidiot Silver badge

    Unfortunately I believe this

    The general Reg readership and the people they will usually have most contact with are in a layer of the populace that is aware of the risks and problems with AIs and will probably give a firm Hell NO answer. Unfortunately many non-tech people (even the smart ones) are inclined to believe the sci-fi image of super-smart and super-intelligent AIs and that they are far less fallible than humans.

    When I hear stories like this I mostly think about a "dystopian" sci-fi story about the slow and insidious introduction of AI to manage everything. Manna, by Marshall Brain. It's applicable up to chapter 4.

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