back to article BOFH: Is everybody ready for the meeting? Grab a crayon – let's get technical

BOFH logo telephone with devil's horns So I'm doing some documentation – which we all know is a waste of my valuable time because everything I do is self-documenting – and the Boss walks in. "How's that documentation coming along?" he asks, looking at a long list of items on his personnel disorganiser. "It stopped the …

  1. Maverick
    Unhappy

    all the hours that I spent on technical documentation not wasted then?

    1. BebopWeBop Silver badge

      If it was measured as a KPI then no obv. Although I have some grim experiences of 'self documenting code' (and to be fair some good ones) over the years

    2. tfewster Silver badge
      Pint

      "You know this is a technical document, right?" "Made for technical people?"

      All my documentation starts with a disclaimer "This guide documents $COMPANY standards and is intended for the use of staff already trained on $TECHNOLOGY". Y'know, when the manufacturer guide says "This is how to partition your disk as required", I document* the partition sizes to be used, but not how to do it.

      * Though just printing out the config of a gold build and writing BOFH-type guides instead might be a better use of my time. "How to securely decommission a server (with a rubber mallet and a cattle prod)".

  2. Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

    cliffhanger of note

  3. BebopWeBop Silver badge
    Black Helicopters

    The meeting has been a blend of the kind of misogyny and racism you'd expect from a major political leader rather than someone who lives in the 21st century.

    Oooh the BOFH goes political.

    1. DropBear Silver badge
      Facepalm

      ...because PC attitude and the BOFH are inseparable, much like oil and water! And what is this anti-alcoholic nonsense? Who are you and what have you done with the real Simon?!?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        obligitory

        RE: PC attitude

        I dunno, *MY* smug sense of superiority is not because of their skin tone or because of the arrangement of their plumbing.

        Its because they're *USERS*

        Anon, in case the joke icon wasn't enough.

        1. Aladdin Sane Silver badge

          Re: obligitory

          I think you'll find it's LUsers*

          *Local Users

          1. Robert Helpmann?? Silver badge
            Childcatcher

            Re: obligitory

            And on the top rungs of the corporate ladder we find Type A and Type B Users* who have the very best kit but require someone else to operate it for them.

            * A/B-Users

      2. Morten_T
        Joke

        "...because PC attitude and the BOFH are inseparable..."

        I think you mean 'PC altitude' - roughly 4th floor, right over £1 coin superglued to the sidewalk as the PHB tries to pick it up

    2. Dr. G. Freeman

      Not really,

      Wasn't specific on which political leader, and sadly the quote can be applied to oh so many of them. So, it may be about a politician, the joke isn't of itself political.

      (yes, I've had to explain political humour to HR recently, for my "not my fault, I voted for Kodos" poster)

      1. Aladdin Sane Silver badge

        I voted for Cthulhu. Why vote for the lesser evil?

        1. Ron Christian

          Wow, so did I. So why didn't he win?

      2. ma1010 Silver badge
        Coat

        I know who you mean!

        ...not my fault, I voted for Kodos.

        <sad old geek mode>

        When I read that, the first thing I thought of was the character "Kodos the Executioner" from the original Star Trek series.

        </sad old geek mode>

        1. ArrZarr Silver badge
          Happy

          Re: I know who you mean!

          @ma1010

          Don't worry, mate - that was my first thought as well and I'm still in my twenties, so you're still in youthful company.

        2. kkt

          Re: I know who you mean!

          It's NOT about Kodos the Executioner?

    3. Alan W. Rateliff, II

      Oooh the BOFH goes political.

      We missed the small print which reads "this week's episode edited by Kieren McCarthy."

      1. onefang Silver badge

        "this week's episode edited by Kieren McCarthy."

        Would that explain the typo? I'm gonna be a Bastard Proof Reader From Hell and not actually point out where it is.

  4. Lee D Silver badge

    Technical, English and Idiot.

    I am fluent in all three of those languages, but in Idiot only because of deep exposure to their culture.

    1. Nick Ryan Silver badge

      Re: Technical, English and Idiot.

      Never argue with an idiot. They'll bring you down to their level and beat you through experience.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Technical, English and Idiot.

        That, a million time that! Get that man a beer!

      2. Voyna i Mor Silver badge
        Flame

        Re: Technical, English and Idiot.

        "Never argue with an idiot. They'll bring you down to their level and beat you through experience."

        See how you can't start a subject like this without dragging in Trump and Brexit?

        In this case the icon just means "flames".

        1. Prst. V.Jeltz Silver badge

          Re: Technical, English and Idiot.

          I often write instructions in Idiot.

          They generally feature lots of pictures with arrows and circles added in 'thick red'.

          1. Anonymous Coward Silver badge
            Facepalm

            Re: Technical, English and Idiot.

            Me too. Unfortunately the users then try to click/press on the pictures in the documentation rather than the corresponding one in the program...

            1. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge
              Happy

              Re: Technical, English and Idiot.

              "I know only 3 languages, Technical, Plain English and Idiot."

              Neat, very neat phrase indeed. Must use this one on more annoying students and/or management (annoying is the default mode for management).

              Might have to extend that as I also can do "Algemeen Beschaafd Nederlands" (==Plain Dutch) and "Idioot" (take a wild guess)

              1. ArrZarr Silver badge

                Re: Technical, English and Idiot.

                I have "Fully bilingual in both developer and client" written on my CV, honed after years of translating between the two.

              2. Grikath Silver badge
                Angel

                Re: Technical, English and Idiot.

                @ MHF Wilkinson : "management" is the fourth stage in the progression nowadays. Idiots can't help being what they are. Management tends to be deliberately obtuse.

                Forcing Manglement to speak proper dutch is a neverending source of entertainment at dreary meetings.

                1. Anonymous Coward
                  Anonymous Coward

                  Re: Technical, English and Idiot.

                  I like the idea of forcing management to speak dutch and I'm in the UK

              3. Celeste Reinard

                Re: Technical, English and Idiot.

                O, I always thought that Plain Dutch was 'Jip en Janneketaal', laced with 'Bootwerker' (which roughly translates as 'Harlot'), while ABN was bankers lingo, hiding their incompetence (or general state of confusion, hence the empty stares when you ask something in 'Jip en Janneke') behind multisylabic 'Idiot', but I get your point.

                1. Uffish

                  Re: Technical, English and Idiot.

                  My moderately fluent version of French, after thirty years of working in France, is a mix of basic French from half-remembered O level and a book on irregular verbs (the 'Jip en Janneke') plus a lot of 'argot' (the 'Bootwerker'). Works fine but causes some amusement in polite society.

          2. tony trolle
            Pirate

            Re: Technical, English and Idiot.

            The joy of M$ Paint. also funny watching managers try and copy your work and do the same "highlights" in a PowerPoint presentation

          3. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Technical, English and Idiot.

            I often write instructions in Idiot.

            They generally feature lots of pictures with arrows and circles added in 'thick red'.

            Then you have to send out another copy because they lost the first set.

      3. Anonymous Coward
        Coat

        Re: Technical, English and Idiot.

        @Nick Ryan - can't ignore that, but I'm not going to argue.

    2. Mark 85 Silver badge

      Re: Technical, English and Idiot.

      Technical and English can be learned in schools. Idiot requires on the job training to learn it properly. Idiots always astound me by their inventiveness in using their stupidity. <sigh>

  5. IglooDude

    "You wouldn't expect to open a textbook on knot theory and understand the mathematical equations therein would you?"

    Well played, sir...

    1. Grikath Silver badge

      To be honest... While at Uni the math dept. there had some large boards out in the hallways on knot theory, and the Stuff on it lost me in about 30 seconds. I still maintain they had that stuff out there to ensure Peace and Quiet in their bit of the building. Talk about cruel and unusual punishment...

    2. onefang Silver badge
      Coat

      "You wouldn't expect to open a textbook on knot theory and understand the mathematical equations therein would you?"

      The correct response to that question is "I'm afraid not.".

      I'd get my coat, but it's rather tangled right now.

    3. wjake

      Knot theory is complicated!

      The rabbit comes out of the hole, goes around the tree and back into the hole...

      1. Chris Holford
        Boffin

        -a bowline?

      2. Omgwtfbbqtime Silver badge

        Did you find out how deep the rabbit hole went?

  6. chivo243 Silver badge
    Pint

    "I prefer not to answer that but suggest you wear gloves to work."

    Smooth! I like the non-answer answer... And true, most PHB's shovel BS most of the time, they should wear gloves. Some also shovel hot air, not sure how they do it?

    1. Lee D Silver badge

      Re: "I prefer not to answer that but suggest you wear gloves to work."

      I see their role as:

      You insulate me from the BS that comes from above.

      I'll insulate you from the people desperately trying to make you understand deeply technical issues and tell you what you need to do.

    2. Voyna i Mor Silver badge

      Re: "I prefer not to answer that but suggest you wear gloves to work."

      It's true PHBs have to shovel stuff. If they're good at it, they shovel it away from the project critical path. If they're bad at it, they shovel it the other way.

      But hot air - that's easy. What do you think the fan was doing in the moments before the excrement hit it?

      1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

        Re: "I prefer not to answer that but suggest you wear gloves to work."

        "It's true PHBs have to shovel stuff. If they're good at it"

        If they're good at it by definition they're not a PHB.

    3. fandom Silver badge

      Re: "I prefer not to answer that but suggest you wear gloves to work."

      That was weird, wasn't Simon implying that the Boss actually does valuable work?

      1. Boris the Cockroach Silver badge

        Re: "I prefer not to answer that but suggest you wear gloves to work."

        I suspect expert window lock tester is coming up in his future at some point.....

      2. Joe Werner
        Coat

        Re: "I prefer not to answer that but suggest you wear gloves to work."

        My thoughts exactly. But as commented above: if they are worth their pay they help the project / job / whatever, or at least act as a DMZ to deflect incoming interference from above. Oh, and make sure the techies in their jeans-and-dirty-t-shirt (or around here: outdoor trousers + t-shirt) are kept away from the upper floors... and yes, this sort of works for me at the moment.

        ... the GoreTEX one please, the one in expedition quality...

        (WHO are you calling an Anorak?!)

        1. sandman

          Re: "I prefer not to answer that but suggest you wear gloves to work."

          I had a great boss a while back who said to us: "You all know what you're doing, it's my job to shield you from the political crap." He did - resulting in a happy, productive department while he basked in our success and gained (as we did to a lesser extent, obviously) much in the way of bonuses.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: "I prefer not to answer that but suggest you wear gloves to work."

            I'm working on something similar at the moment with an old colleague. Really looking forward to it.

            1. MJI Silver badge

              Re: "I prefer not to answer that but suggest you wear gloves to work."

              We have a new person at work, and his job is mainly to shield us from customers.

              That way I can get on with developing and support with supporting.

              1. steelpillow Silver badge
                Pint

                Re: "I prefer not to answer that but suggest you wear gloves to work."

                "We have a new person at work, and his job is mainly to shield us from customers."

                "That way I can get on with developing and support with supporting."

                As a tech author, that was often how I got the techies to talk to me. I would explain that talking Idiot was my job, and if they gave me the griff they could stop answering the phone all the time and trying to do it themselves. After that, their enthusiasm for Technical became the gift that kept on giving. Icon for the fond memories, folks!

          2. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: "I prefer not to answer that but suggest you wear gloves to work."

            Here too but gone too soon, and you're not catching me moving up to a BizLevel Position.

          3. 9Rune5
            Pint

            Re: "I prefer not to answer that but suggest you wear gloves to work."

            The current head of my department is the greatest boss ever.

            She used to have a shepherd that we all loved. One day I nodded off at the keyboard and suddenly the dog walks into my office and woofs. I got up just in time before the main boss arrived. That dog treated me and my colleagues as his herd and he protected us against people from other departments and especially anyone smelling of management.

            Good dog that one. Very good dog. He is sadly missed. (stupid vet didn't want to continue treatment, in retrospect we should've gone all out BOFH on his rear)

          4. Agamemnon

            Re: "I prefer not to answer that but suggest you wear gloves to work."

            I had a Boss like that.

            He was a competent SUN Microsystems SysAdmin before Manglement promoted him.

            And then he went and hired me. I'm independent, I know my job, and by the time he came to me with a Task List (three weeks), I'd already done 80% of it, three items were good ideas and I added them to my project plan, and handed him back his list. At That Point, he sat back and said:

            "You're making us look good. You do you job and I'll be the umbrella that keeps the shit off of you."

            He did.

            We're good friends to this very day and I wish to hell I could hire him as My Boss.

    4. imanidiot Silver badge

      Re: "I prefer not to answer that but suggest you wear gloves to work."

      Large oversize oven mitts

  7. Terje

    How come the boss is still alive? He should have had a regrettable accident halfway through this!

    1. Rich 11 Silver badge

      I though the window lock was a clear case of foreshadowing. But sadly it wasn't to be.

      1. imanidiot Silver badge

        It probably is, but the BOFH likes playing with his pray before letting it scurry off in a hurry, knowing he'll catch it again soon anyway. A bit like a cat toying with a mouse.

      2. Loyal Commenter Silver badge

        I can only assume he is testing the boss for 'loyalty'. If any senior manglement or HR suddenly appear wanting to scrutinise this documentation, then the boss may be due a little 'accident'. If not, then presumably the BoFH knows he doesn't need to go and get some more quicklime and carpet samples.

  8. ukgnome Silver badge

    it's often a dilute blend of lager and line cleaner

    No, it's really not.

    I used to be a licensee and the process is :-

    1. Undo all the grundy heads and attach to the line.

    2. Fill up the right mix of line cleaner and water into the huge bottle

    3. Draw the liquid through the beer taps until you feel the mixture of cleaner and water - it should feel soapy.

    4. Leave for 30 mins

    5. Empty the huge bottle of the line clean mix - it makes a great cleaner for cellar floors.

    6. Connect hose up to the water line.

    7. Draw the liquid through the beer taps until it doesn't feel soapy.

    8. Reconnect the grundy head to the keg

    9. Draw through the water until it magically turns to beer.

    A good landlord knows how long his lines are and how much cleaning solution they take. If you get diluted beer that tastes of line cleaner then the landlord is a feckless tool.Find another pub.

    1. tiggity Silver badge

      Re: it's often a dilute blend of lager and line cleaner

      For the poor mugs who have been conned into running pub co franchising operations, they usually find the pub co does not allow anything like sufficient wastage (which includes loss on cleaning pipes)

      So (as they are being really shafted and struggle to keep head above water), the mug managers often have to cut corners, which leads to worse beer, which leads to less customers in a vicious spiral of poor quality.

      1. stiine Bronze badge

        Re: it's often a dilute blend of lager and line cleaner

        Really? Where I drink, all of the vendors clean their own lines, obviously with the bar's beer, but they do come in every week and clean all of the taps/lines/etc.

        Unfortunately, I've had a couple of episodes, and have had to give up caffiene and alcohol...

  9. steelpillow Silver badge
    Devil

    The purpose of documentation

    I once lost a new contract because the first thing I did was to push a part-finished document through for signing-off.

    The system was crufty and the details confused, but since it had been around a couple of years and the sysadmins knew it backwards, the sole purpose of the document was to sign it off and throw it in a cupboard, that was what I was getting done.

    The project manager (call him Scumspawn) called me in and carpeted me for some trivial typo - "call yourself a professional?" blah, blah.

    I checked with his boss and yes, it was fit for sign-off and thanks for a tremendous job, this document had been bugging them for literally years, it was the last thing keeping the delivery project open.

    Turned out Scumspawn was nearing retirement and was using the chaotic state of the report to keep his project open until his retirement date, just to be sure of the big fat pension coming his way. He was horrified that this new author knew his job well enough to cut straight through his carefully woven web of confusion. I had to go with immediate effect, before I tipped off his Boss.

    Oops!

    Thank goodness we were in a basement room at the time and there were no windows to open.

    My replacement assignment turned out to be the job of a lifetime, you couldn't make it up. I can only thank the miserable git from the bottom of my heart.

    1. tiggity Silver badge

      Re: The purpose of documentation

      +1 for Old Harry's game reference (though doubt bumbling scumspawn would have IQ to be that calculating)

      1. The Boojum

        Re: "concerns over its debts owed to private equity parent, Rutland Partners"

        But he did tip Satan's electronic deputy down the Infinite Abyss when it looked like the shiny box on wheels would become Satan's deputy. A true BDFH?

    2. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

      Re: The purpose of documentation

      "I had to go with immediate effect, before I tipped off his Boss."

      You should have tipped off his boss anyway.

  10. 2Nick3 Bronze badge

    "Yes, so much changed after the industrial revolution," the PFY adds drily.

    That cost me a few screen cleaning wipes - lovely!

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Write Once, Read Never

    The management here likes write-only documentation too.

  12. Florida1920 Silver badge
    Pint

    PFY: "Wish I was a degenerate alcoholic"

    Many are called, but few are chosen. When you've calculated how many bottled beers to consume before the new keg is ready, I'd say you're well on your way.

  13. Marty McFly
    Pint

    Screwing with others like the BOFH with the annoying lady

    Hehehehe.... Former career. We had a fountain in the entry way, right behind the receptionist's desk. Whenever we had a temp covering that position, the fountain always got turned up to high. And by 10am the little Miss had to make a wee-wee run, but as I said she was a temp. Didn't know where the can was, and didn't dare ask a regular FTE to cover the desk. Good times!

    1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

      Re: Screwing with others like the BOFH with the annoying lady

      "she was a temp. Didn't know where the can was"

      First thing to find out when starting a new gig.

  14. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

    "a collection of 30+-year-old war stories"

    BOFH's war stories go back 20+ years.

  15. Waseem Alkurdi
    Alert

    Are PDAs still alive?

    looking at a long list of items on his personnel disorganiser.

    And I thought Palm and Windows Mobile died?

    1. Celeste Reinard

      Re: Are PDAs still alive?

      Those are personAL disorganisers, 'personnel' refers to 'staff'... willingly I suggest Simon S. refers to 'androids' here... ... And was the 'disorganiser' not an invention by Pratchett?

      1. DiViDeD Silver badge

        Re: Are PDAs still alive?

        And was the 'disorganiser' not an invention by Pratchett?

        Oh yes.

        Bingely boop, bingely bingely... Appointment with the Thieves Guild 11:00 am

        It's 2 in the afternoon. And that was last Tuesday

        So do you want me to take it off the Things To Do list then?

        Just (re)reading Feet of Clay and getting some funny looks from my fellow commuters as I try to suppress my sniggers.

    2. Trygve Henriksen

      Re: Are PDAs still alive?

      Palm? Windows Immobile?

      Real BOFHs used Psions...

      If you couldn't run a terminal emulator on it and hook it up to a console port on a Switch, Router or 'that weird box' in the corner, what use was it anyway?

      The Psions had the terminal emulator and rather nifty scripting functions.

      Add the WYSIWYG word processor, spreadsheet and DBs, and you had all your important documentation in your pocket.

      The modern replacement is the Planet Computers Gemini clamshell which is Dual or even Tripleboot...

      (Android and Debian, and possibly also Sailfish or whatever floats your boat)

      Mine only runs Android... yet...

      And yes, the keyboard is just as good as on the Psion S5 series.

  16. Waseem Alkurdi

    A good title for that documentation is ...

    ... the Bastard Operator's Manual!

    1. Herby Silver badge

      Bastard Operator's Manual.

      What great title. Maybe Simon will accept contributions. I'm sure we have a bunch as well as standard BOFH episodes.

    2. Trygve Henriksen

      Re: A good title for that documentation is ...

      No, a BOM is a general use manual, probably explaining best practises for using electric cattleprods and best impact points on a cranium. You know, the stuff that's the same on every site.

      What he was writing is the BSM - Bastard Site Manual, because it mostly deals with site-specific issues and resources.

  17. earl grey Silver badge
    Pint

    Required input

    Have a few. Laughed out loud and got strange looks.

  18. Paul 129

    I was expecting

    Simon hands out some of his latest documentation.

    A hush descends as the technical documentation is astutely studied, before the excited babble and arguments break out. Blimey! Useful tech docs. I wish we had this type of info in my day. I didn't know that,... lets give it a try, and the "damn it don't tell everyone you'll spoil it for us!"

    more arguments, followed by th boss getting a delegation later that week. Of all his friends trying to evaluate the usefulness of the documentation. Maybe even a judicious trial of the window hinge.

  19. Herby Silver badge

    On documentation...

    Yes, there is "technical", English", and "idiot".

    One must add another category:

    "Wife". Or in some cases "Significant other".

    1. Message From A Self-Destructing Turnip

      Re: On documentation...

      It's important to understand the nuances of the language, for example, the look that tells you it's best to say nothing.

      1. My-Handle

        Re: On documentation...

        I have a masochistic streak in me. I always interpret that look as "say the absolute worst possible thing to say, because I have a very childish urge to provoke." Yes, it got me into a flaming row the first few times, but by now she's mostly learned to ignore me.

    2. imanidiot Silver badge

      Re: On documentation...

      I thought "Wife" was just a specific subset of "idiot" with a few words removed from the vocabulary?

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    We've talked about this before

    No quoting me more than once per article Simon :)

    "a technical manual is for technical people." - in the style of "this is a local shop, for local people"

    "They were different times."/"Yes, so much changed after the industrial revolution"

  21. Maty

    Never document your code.

    If it was hard to write, it should be hard to read.

  22. Prosthetic Conscience
    Pint

    We do love our lunches

    Unfortunately the favourite pizza place across the road is no longer selling beer, was nice waiting for them to bake it having a beer on the pavement..

  23. Pirate Dave
    Pirate

    I remember

    the good old days, when we used to get a new BOFH every week. Or two. At least one a month. Now it's been almost 2 months and my funny bone is dry and gritty from lack of use. I'm starting to rethink renewing my Platinum Membership to El Reg...

  24. Danny 5

    Recognizeable

    I have roughly the same three writing styles. Technical for my peers, plain English for generic docs/templates and idiot for any doc that will be read by management and the like.

    I tend to make my manuals "idiot proof", which is perfectly valid qualification in our office.

  25. Tango Poppa

    Where are the BofH and PFY?

    It's been two months and nothing new.

    Has the BofH come to an end?

    1. Excellentsword (Written by Reg staff)

      Re: Where are the BofH and PFY?

      He'll be back.

  26. Michael Habel Silver badge

    When is the next story?

    Its been over Two Months now without a new BoFH story.

    1. Lith

      Re: When is the next story?

      I'm waiting for the mugs to come back in stock, only 2 years since the last lot I think.

  27. Whatsinitforme
    Unhappy

    Is there anybody out there??

    Hello BOFH?

    Is there anybody in there?

    Just write if you can hear me.

    Is there anyone at home?

    Come on, now,

    I hear you're feeling down.

    Well you can ease my pain

    Get me on my feet again.

    Relax.

    I'll need a new story first.

    Just the basic facts.

    Can you show me why it's quiet?

    1. onefang Silver badge
      Thumb Up

      Re: Is there anybody out there??

      Have an upvote for the Pink Floyd lyrics.

  28. SigKill

    There is no pay, you are receding...

    Just joking, of course (?)

    1. Pirate Dave
      Pirate

      New measurement of time between BOFH articles - how far your hairline has receded since the last one.

      I do believe this is the longest gap in BOFH articles since I started reading them here in like 2005. I remember several years ago, Simon took off for like 3 or 4 months. This time, it seems ages longer.

      1. Whatsinitforme
        Facepalm

        Receding hair line

        Naah, I have the problem that people were joking about my receding hairline since I was 18 (24 years ago). The people that were joking me back then are all bald now, while my hairline is still receding (but veeeeerrrry slowly).

        So for this measurement to work, Simon would need to stop with his stories for at least 2 years, which is not a good idea.

        In the mean time, I'll just put on a little John Waite - Missing you, since I'm obviously in denial and/or in a rehab clinic.

  29. Pirate Dave
    Pirate

    So you run and you run to catch up to the BOFH, but he's sinking,

    racing around, to come up behind you again.

    The BOFH is the same in a relative way, but you're colder,

    Shorter of breath, already taken by Death.

  30. richsouth

    New Episode?

    Anyone know when the BOFH will be returning? I miss my (occasional) Friday afternoon BOFH.

    1. Mindfart

      Re: New Episode?

      I keep checking too haha, every week.

      Sent an email 2 months ago and he's on a summer break and would be back soon! So even more soon now!

      1. wowfood

        Re: New Episode?

        Yup, starting to get withdrawl here.

        1. The Oncoming Scorn Silver badge
          Pint

          Re: New Episode?

          There should be a Christmas or New Year Episode coming in the next 6 or so weeks I would hope.

          1. Pirate Dave
            Pirate

            Re: New Episode?

            "There should be a Christmas or New Year Episode coming in the next 6 or so weeks"

            I'm beginning to think that would be a true Christmas miracle. Boys on crutches getting to walk? Pfft, simples.

        2. Whatsinitforme
          Unhappy

          Re: New Episode?

          I got tired of checking the site every now and then, so I just subscribed to the RSS feed. That way, I can feel the disappointment on a regular interval without even having to visit the website itself.

          1. nsimic

            Re: New Episode?

            DAAS => disappointment as a service. quite fitting for this day and age.

    2. SIGILL

      Re: New Episode?

      I am starting to fear that while old bastards never die...

      ... they do fade away.

  31. MAH

    I just had an awesome BOFH moment....

    user called to complain that the scanner was making the files too big and asked us to make the files smaller. The DPI was set to 300 so I set it to 75 DPI....

    they then called to complain that they couldn't read the text on the scanned files.

    My response was, you asked for the files to be smaller, you didn't ask for them to also be legible.

    Totally reminded me of the old I need more space on my drive....hey, where did all my files go BOFH article....

    1. nsimic

      you bastard!

  32. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Documentation

    Documentation directly reduces my value as an employee. Therefore, it's not happening, at least not in any way that's useful to anyone but me. I'd rather be well paid than fondly remembered.

POST COMMENT House rules

Not a member of The Register? Create a new account here.

  • Enter your comment

  • Add an icon

Anonymous cowards cannot choose their icon

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2019