back to article Japanese fashion puts the oo-er into trousers

In an effort to reinvigorate a flaccid trouser marketplace, a Japanese fashion house has introduced a vaguely horrifying bit of detailing. Ladies and gentlemen, may we present the Wang Flap. Reports began appearing earlier this week of the unlikely-to-catch-on trend of trousers with an external Johnson-holding pouch one can …

  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    How does it "work"?

    Not clear whether this is a cod-flap or a layer on top.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: How does it "work"?

      It's got a zip behind it as well.

      1. FozzyBear Silver badge
        Gimp

        Re: How does it "work"?

        It's got a zip behind it as well.

        An open zipper and your block and tackle dangling through it. Your just asking for a world of hurt

    2. bombastic bob Silver badge
      Devil

      Re: How does it "work"?

      next will be a cod PIECE. Maybe you could slip it in, like a pistol into a holster...

  2. Pete 2 Silver badge

    Not the place for your mobile phone

    > Ladies and gentlemen, may we present the Wang Flap.

    Yes, designed to make the stop-and-search cops job even more "interesting"

    1. BebopWeBop Silver badge
      Unhappy

      Re: Not the place for your mobile phone

      The TSA (in the US) don't need more encouragement.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    It's actually quite useful for times when you are flying low as you certainly don't want to be flopping it out in the office these days. I would rename it the cock blocker though.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      That comment was a bit of a dick move

  4. Hans Neeson-Bumpsadese Silver badge

    Ridiculous as this is, it not as crazy as the news item I saw last week about the fashion house which is peddling a shirt with another shirt sewn onto it.

    1. I_am_not_a_number

      Double-shirting?

      https://www.telegraph.co.uk/men/the-filter/steve-two-shirts-bannon-strangest-style-politics/

      Perhaps they figured Steve Bannon might be on to something...

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      "a shirt with another shirt sewn onto it"

      Yo dawg.

      1. frank ly Silver badge

        I'll stay with my slashed doublets; they never go out of fashion.

        1. GrumpyKiwi Silver badge

          Doublets

          Damn new doublets, they always pinch me under the arms...

          [/Geralt of Rivia]

  5. Iain
    Trollface

    '"Hampton" – from British rhyming slang Hampton Wick'

    I always thought it was from a Royal Palace, as in "Don't get your Hampton caught"

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      No Hampton court is the fancy dress outfit. you place your hampton in a false mouse trap

  6. Arthur the cat Silver badge

    Do it right

    Thus.

    1. JassMan Silver badge

      Re: Do it right (maybe NSFW)

      or thusly

      Mind you the fashionistas who would wear the japanese version probably could lift the matching jacket.

      1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

        Re: Do it right (maybe NSFW)

        I believe that Henry VIII did it even more properly. See this pic from the Tower of London.

  7. JassMan Silver badge
    Joke

    But where's the technology angle?

    Unless the button has a self opening mechanism controlled by a pic chip and once opened reveals flashing leds to bring a whole new meaning to flashing, I don't want to know,

    As for calling it a Wang flap, since Wang Laboratories went bust in 1992, there is no way they produced a computer small enough to fit behind that flap.

    1. T. F. M. Reader Silver badge
      Joke

      Re: But where's the technology angle?

      It's about hardware and software. Obviously.

    2. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

      Re: But where's the technology angle?

      My friend's Dad worked for Wang in the 80s. So he was always getting promotional t-shirts and baseball caps, which he couldn't wear, because we'd all snigger at him.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: But where's the technology angle?

        I seem to recall a rejected suggestion to brand the aforementioned tech giant's customer service team as Wang Cares...

    3. handleoclast Silver badge

      Re: But where's the technology angle?

      Wang Laboratories went bust in 1992

      Anyone remember their slogan? "Wang cares."

      1. Chairman of the Bored Silver badge

        Re: But where's the technology angle?

        I always thought Wang should have expanded it to read "Wang cares deeply". Can go for the subtitle "We've got fast, slick solutions that meat your needs"

  8. Captain Scarlet Silver badge
    Trollface

    Browsing Reddit I see

    We were making fun of these several days ago when a Redditor spotted it.

    1. AMBxx Silver badge

      Re: Browsing Reddit I see

      You fashionistsas - always ahead of the curve. Do you find it comfortable?

      1. Captain Scarlet Silver badge
        Paris Hilton

        Re: Browsing Reddit I see

        Ahead how, everythings bleeding reposted several times by the times it gets to Reddit

  9. Dr_N Silver badge
    Coat

    Next Up ...

    The mawashi/cargo-pants mash-up: Loincloth with plenty of pockets.

  10. Aladdin Sane Silver badge

    IIRC, there was a Goon Show character called Hugh Jampton. When the inevitable complaints rolled in, they pointed out that if you knew what it meant, you couldn't be offended by it.

    1. PPK

      Speverend Rooner

      See also the legendary Cupid Stunt from the Kenny Everett Video Show:

      "Her original name, Mary Hinge, was vetoed by the Corporation as too obvious and announcers were encouraged to refer to her as Cupid to prevent mispronunciation."

    2. Alistair Silver badge
      Pint

      @Alladin Sane:

      You recall correctly, however 8 year old me didn't really get the reference.

      Its Friday and we should all raise a glass to the Goons.

  11. onefang Silver badge

    It's on the outside, and rather high up. Do you flop it over your waist band before tucking it into the holster? Do you need to tattoo pixelations on it before going out in public? Do high tech Japanese wonderbogs have special robotic fixtures to deal with it?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      I agree, it's not a flap, it's a holster. Only symbolic so far, but just wait...

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    needs to be a "Proper Job"

    bring back the cod piece and do to job properly

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Codpiece

    1. bombastic bob Silver badge
      Holmes

      Re: needs to be a "Proper Job"

      so far 4 references to a codpiece. This makes 5.

      [the obvious, yeah]

  13. Chris G Silver badge

    At least the Wangflap is marginally better than this;

    https://www.trendhunter.com/trends/utilikilt

    1. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge
      Paris Hilton

      The Speakeasy Brief Underwear

      ttps://www.trendhunter.com/trends/brief-underwear

      Paris - Is welcome to inspect the contents

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Go retro with Penis Sheeths

    all the fad, as in traditional garb of the indigenous of Papua New Guinea.

    One may well ask ourselves about the stodgy ideas on sexual display,

    The problem represented by the fig leaf worn by Adam and Eve was really a 'Gender Bias#' problem and one of management of resources. People misinterpreted as hiding the sexual.

    We still have resource management and Gender equality problems to this day, the same ones. If only we could get over them!!!

    #As discovered by now deceased Russian/Greek Archaeologist in the Karakum Desert in central Asia.

  15. Chairman of the Bored Silver badge

    Design not bad, but some suggestions

    1 - needs to be at least somewhat elastic

    2 - needs something to stay on in really cold conditions

    3 - under no circumstances should the phrase "remove before flight" appear anywhere near the, er, peccant part

  16. El Kapitan

    Japanese Fashion? Not at All. This is "True Brit" Design by Kim Jones.

    According to The Wiks, KJ is the "designer behind David Beckham's morning suit at Prince Harry's wedding in Windsor". I think "behind DB's suit" means he designed it, rather than anything physical.

    Following El Reg's links leads to Uniqlo's site, where スリムテーパードパンツ(カラーブロック)(KJ) [Slim tapered pants (colour block) (KJ)] is offered for ¥999, which is less than a tenner. Lower down, you can see that these pants are part of Kim Jones' collection for GU. The "colour block" is simply a zip fly cover flap. Even if you wanted to, I do not think it would be physically possible to use this flap as a kind of sheath. I would not want to, and do not find the colour contrast attractive, but some people might.

    1. onefang Silver badge

      Re: Japanese Fashion? Not at All. This is "True Brit" Design by Kim Jones.

      "a zip fly cover flap"

      Er, so you are saying that it's job is the same as the pixelation I mentioned before, to cover a mans unmentionables? Despite being already covered by the zip, and likely the guys underwear?

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