back to article UK Foreign Sec BoJo asks tech firms to save endangered species

UK Foreign Secretary and Beano* character wrought in flesh, Boris Johnson, put tech boffins and conservationists in a room together today and asked them to come up with a way of combating illegal wildlife trade. Representatives from the likes of Google and Amazon were regaled with stories from the Zoological Society of London …

  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Why don't they start with the b/millionaires hunting animals for fun and trophies? Oh, wait sorry, they make donations to your party.

    1. wolfetone Silver badge

      Problem is those very people pay to go to these reserves, the same ones as you see other people go around on safari on, and they are allowed to shoot the big game on these reserves. However, there are rules. They can only shoot the elderly or the sick animals so that the rest of the other animals can thrive.

      I don't like that any more than you do, but I don't think for a second those animals could be kept on those reserves without that money. Because they pay a lot more than 4 tourists in the back of a Hilux do.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        sick or elderly animals? I think you're confusing this with NHS policy. Who do they pay the money to? They get guns, hire a guide and go shoot to their hearts content. I'm pretty sure there aren't any rules.

        1. handleoclast Silver badge
          Coat

          Confusion with NHS policy

          sick or elderly animals? I think you're confusing this with NHS policy. Who do they pay the money to? They get guns, hire a guide and go shoot to their hearts content. I'm pretty sure there aren't any rules.

          We'd all better hope Jeremy Hunt doesn't read that. Do you really want him to fund the Tory party by selling tickets to millionaires so they can shoot sick and elderly NHS patients?

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Are trophy hunters a big part of Tory party funding? Whilst I'm sure you can find examples, I suspect this is still a tiny minority, probably of individuals who don't even live in the UK.

      But what about governments busy running extermination programmes against wildlife to protect the interests of farmers? For example, the War on Badgers, currently presided over by that most disgusting of vermin, Smeagol Gove.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        @ledswinger

        If they were a minority fox hunting would not be discussed. Hunting for fun is still very much alive on the centre right of British politics.

      2. Mark 85 Silver badge

        But what about governments busy running extermination programmes against wildlife to protect the interests of farmers their own populations or "enemy" populations?

        FTFY. There's much that needs addressing in this world. If they won't protect critters, they won't protect people either.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Hate to break it to you man, but trophy hunting actually funds conservation these days.

      https://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2007/03/070315-hunting-africa.html

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        2007 called they want their article back.

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      "b/millionaires hunting animals for fun"..."donations to your party". I suspect you're about 100 years too late with that comment. I believe it's American dentists these days that shoot things.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Dennis the Menace and Lord Snooty.

    I'm not sure that Lord Snooty gets many outings these days...

    1. Richard 120

      Re: Dennis the Menace and Lord Snooty.

      Stuff and Nonsense, he's just been on a trip to the Amazon doncha know?

    2. VinceH Silver badge

      Re: Dennis the Menace and Lord Snooty.

      "I'm not sure that Lord Snooty gets many outings these days..."

      Isn't he currently the MP for NE Somerset?

      1. Nick Ryan Silver badge

        Re: Dennis the Menace and Lord Snooty.

        I was wondering earlier today what kind of *ist people voted this blight on society into any position of influence. NE Somerset... that probably explains it. One of the most blighted parts of the UK due to government policies and profiteering voting in a criminal*.

        /sigh

        * If any non-politician said what he says, they would be up on hate charges by now.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Dennis the Menace and Lord Snooty.

      I thought Lord Snooty was Jacob Rees-mogg?

    4. TheProf

      Lord Snooty.

      He has a couple of stories in my Beano Annual 2011.

      You might not recognise him though, he's been given a modern makeover. (No top hat, no tailcoat etc.) In fact he looks just like a young Futurama Philip J. Fry.

      The addition of a saucy French maid, Fifi, is the only redeeming feature.

    5. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Dennis the Menace and Lord Snooty.

      Michael Gove who looks like Walter the Softie keeps popping up though.

      I've also though for sometime that the current cabinet looks a bit like the Bash street Kids.

  3. SVV Silver badge

    Beware of the reptiles

    Johnson said: "I've just come back from the Amazon, one of Earth's natural wonders, where both animals and people are suffering at the hands of criminals who are committing horrible wildlife crimes."

    He continued : "Next week I will be visiting the Google, where I hear criminals are also causing horrible human suffering, followed by the Facebook, who I hear are worst of all".

    And then what? Will he be asking Netflix to solve global warming, or maybe even persuading Poundland to find ways of ending a few regional conflicts?

  4. dodgyoriginals

    Beware of the Reptiles

    One presumes the blonde tousle-haired one was travelling deep into the Amazon jungle in search of a lost tribe with which to strike a post-Brexit 'trade deal'. Cowrie shells in exchange for proper British tin trays, anyone?................

  5. Chris G Silver badge

    Think of the children

    Putting Boris the Buffoon in a comic would be quite disturbing for the kiddies.

    If Bojo is concerned about saving the animals perhaps he could give the Oranjotang a stiff talking to about lifting the ban on Elephant trophies in the states.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Ok Boris...

    Let's see if I can help...

    *Struggles to move the heavy private sector war chest out of the way, tries to shut the lid, but can't, takes his government grant tin off the shelf, blows out the dust*

    Yes, yes...just as I thought...buttons, fluff and a reminder from HMRC about IR35.

    It seems I can't help, because you don't really want me to. Do you Boris?

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    um...

    Given the state of IOT and drone security, as continually published by The Reg, it seems likely to me that the surveillance suggested could a) easily be used by poachers to find their prey more easily and b) easily be prevented from giving legit users correct tracking information.

  8. Ken 16 Silver badge
    Facepalm

    Give him a break

    This may be completely pointless, misconceived and intended purely as a publicity stunt BUT no-one was offended, jailed or executed as a result, so on balance it was a diplomatic triumph.

    1. Teiwaz Silver badge

      Re: Give him a break

      Give him a break

      This may be completely pointless, misconceived and intended purely as a publicity stunt BUT no-one was offended, jailed or executed as a result, so on balance it was a diplomatic triumph.

      I'm not sure not panning politicians for idiot timewasting, and just on damage caused is necessarily good, you'll spoil them.

      I think he might benefit from being parented by one of the two pepperpots (or preferably both) from Monty Pythons Art Gallery sketch.

  9. MiguelC Silver badge

    minister for the Illegal Wildlife Trade Mark Field

    Maybe that's the problem, wouldn't it be better if we had a minister AGAINST illegal wildlife trade?

  10. Elmer Phud Silver badge

    ""I've just come back from the Amazon, one of Earth's natural wonders,"

    And you want a fucking plane of your own to screw over 'Earth's natural wonders'!

  11. MJI Silver badge

    My internal voice

    Read the whole article in BoJos voice

  12. Charlie Clark Silver badge

    Tech as the cause

    A lot of the problems with habitat's can be attributed to tech: mining directly, obviously, and indirectly because it provides a livelihood, and I use the term advisedly, for people who then go onto to compete for resources with the local wildlife.

  13. PhilipN Silver badge

    Now I understand

    Straying this far from his brief of making the World a safer place (stop sniggering at the back!) I realise he thought conservation was something to do with the Conservative Party.

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