back to article Hitler 'is dead' declares French prof who gazed at dictator's nashers

A groundbreaking study of toothbrush-tashed Nazi dictator Adolf Hitler's teeth has confirmed that the late, unlamented Fuehrer is still dead – and, more to the point, definitely died in Berlin in April 1945. Hitler's real and false teeth, as found by Russian soldiers storming his bunker at the end of the Second World War, …

  1. LDS Silver badge

    Still I don't understand why Russian doesn't allow full tests.

    Do they really still need to keep stories about Hitler alive? Or it's just the mindset they share with Gestapo is hard to get rid of? Or they are afraid they did a mistake and misidentified the body?

    1. wolfetone Silver badge

      Re: Still I don't understand why Russian doesn't allow full tests.

      It's the same reason why America have redacted a lot of the JFK files, and still continue to withhold some of them from public release. If Oswald was the sole gunman, he was the sole assassin, then what have they got to hide?

      1. LDS Silver badge

        "It's the same reason why America have redacted a lot of the JFK files"

        But that was an internal matter with could cause an obvious fallout if some three letter agency was involved or made obvious mistakes in preventing it.

        If it were something, say, related to Stalin's death I could understand more, but an enemy like Hitler? Why hide evidences, especially more than seventy years later?

        To avoid someone could claim for the body and make it a symbol (something like that happened with Mussolini...) - if so, why not just destroy it - maybe after an identification to clear any doubt?

      2. John Lilburne Silver badge

        Re: Still I don't understand why Russian doesn't allow full tests.

        Both of them need to keep Alex Jones frothing at nothing at all.

        1. FIA

          Re: Still I don't understand why Russian doesn't allow full tests.

          Both of them need to keep Alex Jones frothing at nothing at all.

          However I bet Matt Baker doesn't give a shit.

          Weirdly, I could see this as a segment on The One Show, probably presented by Giles Brandreth, sandwiched between a bubbly interview with Sonya and a short film from Jay Raynor about pies.

      3. bombastic bob Silver badge
        Devil

        Re: Still I don't understand why Russian doesn't allow full tests.

        conspiracy theories may obfuscate other things that are just as "conspiracy worthy" but may either be embarrassing or implicate other criminal behavior that "they" want kept under wraps...

        It may be that the Russians don't want Hitler's body turned into an object of religion, or bring too much attention back to a period of time that should be remembered "a certain way". Also there was some kind of DNA analysis done on one of the bone fragments many years ago and the conclusion was (as I recall) that it was female DNA. I call B.S. on that in general, but who knows, maybe Hitler was an 'xx male' [which is 'a thing', xx males typically have undersized genitalia and are sterile but in other ways look and act 'male'].

        In any case the Russians are sticking with their story that Hitler is dead, and they have the body. I think this last analysis pretty much nails THAT coffin shut. Good riddance to the world's worst A-hole, EVAR.

        /me reminded of Hitler in a French Maid outfit, getting his daily pineapple, in 'Little Nicky'

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: DNA was female

          Not impossible that the two samples were mixed up. As there were two samples. One male, one female.

    2. beerandbiscuits

      Re: Still I don't understand why Russian doesn't allow full tests.

      It wouldn't make the blindest bit of difference to the conspiracy theories. The people who believe them will see the full scientific evidence and still come up with some utterly lunatic explanation for how that evidence still supports the conspiracy.

      1. LDS Silver badge

        "It wouldn't make the blindest bit of difference to the conspiracy theories."

        Who cares of them? It's just a matter of History.

    3. Stuart Halliday

      Re: Still I don't understand why Russian doesn't allow full tests.

      Because who wants 1cm holes in your valuable fragments?

    4. a_yank_lurker Silver badge

      Re: Still I don't understand why Russian doesn't allow full tests.

      The best non-pathology evidence was the eyewitnesses in the bunker who survived and knew Hitler very well as they worked closely with him. They were always consistent in their stories of what happened and there were several including secretaries, orderlies, etc. So the question then becomes are they all liars or they telling the truth. Having see interviews with some of them, I do not believe they are all liars so they are telling the truth.

    5. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Still I don't understand why Russian doesn't allow full tests.

      The Russians are constantly trying to revise history, and unfortunately, they teach that revised history in their schools.

      The rest of the World remembers Russia was allied with Nazi Germany from September 1939 with the joint Nazi-Soviet invasion of Poland until June 22 1941 with the start of Operation Barbarossa when Hitler turned on Stalin. Russians are taught that Russian involvement in WWII only started with Barbarossa. But for almost 3 years, the Soviets were allies with the Nazi's with German archives showing Stalin pleading (in writing) with Hitler to be allowed to officially join the Axis.

      1. Degenerate Scumbag

        Re: Still I don't understand why Russian doesn't allow full tests.

        Strictly speaking, the Molotov-Ribbentrop pact was not an alliance. It was a non-aggression pact that demarcated boundaries beyond which they agreed not to cross.

        A more pertinent question would be why we declared war on Germany for taking back German-populated lands that were stolen from them only 20 years before at the treaty of Versailles, yet took no action against Russia for invading the other half of Poland and massacring tens of thousands of Poles.

    6. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Still I don't understand why Russian doesn't allow full tests.

      I would guess that Russia does not allow full tests because they know they have a false relic. I would guess that Hitler died as described by witnesses, but someone lost the evidence and tried to cover up their incompetence with a substitution, and various successors have tried to cover up the cover-up, and cover up the cover-up of the cover-up, because the full story would be just too embarrassing for too many people.

      It doesn't really matter, anyway, because Hitler was just this guy, you know?

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Also worth mentioning that he would be 130 years old by now, so safe to say he certainly is dead now.

    Had he escaped in 1945 then you would have expected him to pop up somewhere over the years, he didn't shy away from the public eye - and who was supposed to be protecting him anyway? and with what money??

    1. Sceptic Tank

      This is where the ODESSA comes in: money, protection, legal services, all an ehemaligen SS-Angehörige could ask for.

      No, I don't believe the conspiracy theories.

    2. LDS Silver badge

      "who was supposed to be protecting him anyway? and with what money??"

      Fanatics, some of them with no little money, even after the war? There was no lack of them. Some people did escape and were helped to hide - Mossad attempted to find and kill them - the question is if he wanted to, and if escaping Berlin was possible - others failed. Others committed suicide as well.

    3. Mage Silver badge
      Black Helicopters

      who was supposed to be protecting him anyway?

      Hmm... time for a Hitler offspring themed version of Archangel?

    4. macjules Silver badge

      Ah, but that is totally irrelevant if:

      1) You are living on the dark side of the moon

      2) You are living in a life-extending bunker in the middle of the Amazon rain forest, subsisting on life-extending secret fruit that is only eaten by immortal pygmies (© 2016/7 History Channel - The Hunt for Adolf Hitler)

      3) Your plans for world domination under Project Covefe are now well under way.

  3. 45RPM Silver badge

    Um… Why?

    Why, if he had real teeth, did he need to have false teeth as well? Is it a dictator thing - or just as artifact of him being as mad as a box of frogs?

    And do people who voted for Trump, or for Farage, ever wonder how someone like Hitler could ever have gotten into power? Off-topic, I know, but I think we should be told.

    1. PhilipN Silver badge

      Re: Um… Why?

      By appealing to rabid knee-jerk animalistic tendencies with barbaric speechifying and ... oh..sorry. Was your question about Donald, Nigel or Adolf?

    2. Sceptic Tank

      Re: Um… Why?

      Not so difficult to understand why people voted Trump considering that the other option was Hillary Clinton.

    3. Jason Bloomberg Silver badge
      Pint

      Re: Um… Why?

      Why, if he had real teeth, did he need to have false teeth as well?

      I suspect that, despite the "45RPM" moniker, you haven't quite reached that age where you would know, or you've been lucky. It's not an all or nothing state, more a spectrum as young'uns would likely say these days.

      Once one goes they all start to go. Like tumbling dominoes, but not so much fun to watch.

      Mainly soup these days ->

    4. Teiwaz Silver badge

      Re: Um… Why?

      @45RPM. No doubt you'll find out in twenty or thirty years, but also if someone were to (say for lack of a better example) took offence to your ignorance and smashed out most of your front teeth in a freak bicycling accident at a nunnery during a St. Stephens day carwash jumble sale and bake-off, a dentist might give you a set of dentures to fill in the missing fronties, hence you'd still have your own and false teeth.

      As to people voting for idiots not learning from history, from what I've noted, a lot of people don't have any interest in history longer than their lifetimes. If it happened before they were born, it can't be of any interest as they are the centre of their universe, and that spinning top has trouble comprehending anything outside their spin.

    5. Blockchain commentard Silver badge

      Re: Um… Why?

      Some people lose just one or two teeth and get replacements. No need to pull out perfectly good ones.

      1. Alister Silver badge

        Re: Um… Why?

        No need to pull out perfectly good ones.

        Not as much fun though...

        I'm a Dentist

        1. 45RPM Silver badge

          Re: Um… Why?

          @Teiwas, @Jason et al.

          I know. I was being flippant. Perhaps I should have added the joke icon? But it amused me to think that someone might get themselves a set of false teeth in addition to their own real teeth.

          As an aside, and in the UK (Germany may have been different), it was quite common in the 1920s and 1930s for aristocrats to have their real gnashers removed for very little reason in order that they could have false teeth instead and for preference. The false teeth were whiter, shinier, and straighter than the real deal. So if, for example, you needed to have a few teeth removed (your freak cycling accident for example), you might actually choose to have the others whipped out as well in order to gain the perfect smile.

          It’s a strange world - but, I suppose, not so very much stranger than getting injected with botulinum toxin, or having bags of silicone surgically inserted into your body.

          1. Lars Silver badge
            Happy

            Re: Um… Why?

            Some very well known Hollywood stars did that too to have the appropriate grin, and why not. All that gold has become old fashioned, if not everywhere. To some part I think that has happened to lipstick too unless you are about 80 and American. Smile.

          2. Greencat

            Re: Um… Why?

            Not just aristocrats either. It was common among the poor to have all of your teeth pulled in early adulthood to avoid future trouble with them. My east London born grandmother had hers yanked and replaced with falsies on her 16th birthday.

          3. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: botulinum toxin

            The local bees around here solved my desire for that one. I can get a swelling face for free!

    6. Stuart Halliday

      Re: Um… Why?

      Because when people get a set of falseys they usually don't wait until every tooth has fallen out?

      Duh.

    7. LucreLout Silver badge

      Re: Um… Why?

      And do people who voted for Trump, or for Farage, ever wonder how someone like Hitler could ever have gotten into power?

      Farrage was mostly voted for by labour voters, at least until the referendum result came in, and 1984 is also based around an imagined future labour government, so I'd say the evidence is pretty clear: You create a client state (those on welfar or in public sector roles) who depend on you financially, you then stimulate them to vote for you by paying them more, and eventually seize power.

    8. bombastic bob Silver badge
      Devil

      Re: Um… Why?

      "And do people who voted for Trump, or for Farage, ever wonder how someone like Hitler could ever have gotten into power?"

      I know _exactly_ how Hitler rose to power. In fact, in the 'Star Wars' universe, it's very much like the way that Emperor Palpatine did HIS rise to power. Yeah, I noticed.

      a) identify a 'crisis', and work both ends against the middle, by identifying 'a villain' (even if it's fabricated)

      b) appear to be 'the savior' and [with natural ability to motivate people] get yourself put in charge [even if it means assassinating your way to the top]

      c) dissolve the parliament so that you become dictator [this is the most necessary step]. Just rendering the parliament irrelevant isn't enough.

      that pretty much sums it up, I think

      1. Mooseman Bronze badge

        Re: Um… Why?

        "I know _exactly_ how Hitler rose to power"

        You forgot "be appointed head of the government by a senile old fart, thus giving you the power to do whatever the hell you wanted despite not actually winning the popular vote"

    9. Dodgy Geezer Silver badge

      Re: Um… Why?

      ...And do people who voted for Trump, or for Farage, ever wonder how someone like Hitler could ever have gotten into power? Off-topic, I know, but I think we should be told....

      Odd, that. You see, the people who vote for Trump or Farage are WELL aware of how someone like that gets into power. They do it by telling the people that the 'other side' presents a huge threat and that the whole country would be in peril if they elected the Weimar coalition, or left the EU...

      Then they present themselves to the Establishment as the only group standing in the way of chaos, while undertaking smear campaigns designed to present their opponents as 'working with the enemy' - much like Clinton did, and the Democrats are still doing....

      Finally, they put a set of laws in place which are designed to stifle any opposition to their policies - indeed, make it illegal to oppose them. Much like the current anti-sexism, racism and Hate laws that we have today. Which means that they can harrass and imprison oponents perfectly legally, until they end up with a one-party state. Much like the EU is doing with Hungary and Poland.

      There. You have been told. The people who voted for Trump and Farage already knew. Perhaps you should start to wonder?

  4. Teiwaz Silver badge

    Death of Conspiracy theories?....not likely.

    Still left lots of room for 'Hitlers brain' theories though.....

    1. Woza

      Re: Death of Conspiracy theories?....not likely.

      Everyone's always in favour of saving Hitler's brain, but when you put it in the body of a great white shark, ooh, suddenly you've gone too far!

      - Hubert Farnsworth

      1. Ken 16 Silver badge

        Re: Death of Conspiracy theories?....not likely.

        another great Discovery channel documentary

    2. Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

      Re: Death of Conspiracy theories?....not likely.

      1 Brain 1 Jar?

      1. 's water music Silver badge

        Re: Death of Conspiracy theories?....not likely.

        1 Brain 1 Jar?

        Two dictators, one cup?

        1. 's water music Silver badge

          Re: Death of Conspiracy theories?....not likely.

          >>1 Brain 1 Jar?

          Two dictators, one cup?

          Whoops, sorry. Wrong chat window

          1. Terje
            Joke

            Re: Death of Conspiracy theories?....not likely.

            1 Brain 1 Jar...

            0 Brain 2 Jar -> 1 Jarjar...

            We all know that jarjar was most definitely a sith lord in disguise

            ergo George Lucas must be hitler in disguise!!!

            1. Symon Silver badge
              Coat

              Re: Death of Conspiracy theories?....not likely.

              Here's the documentary about how they did it.

              https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/They_Saved_Hitler%27s_Brain

      2. Mark 85 Silver badge

        Re: Death of Conspiracy theories?....not likely.

        1 Brain 1 Jar?

        On a shelf, in a darkened basement, labeled "A B Normal"

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Fake News

    He is alive wears a blonde toupee and his favourite colour is orange!

  6. Goldmember

    So...

    ... What about the tests done around 10 years ago on Hitler's remains (by an American team), which revealed the skull held by the Russians is actually a female skull?

    https://www.theguardian.com/world/2009/sep/27/adolf-hitler-suicide-skull-fragment

    It would appear this line in the article is inaccurate:

    "Last year Russia's secret service, the FSB, and its state archives authorised a team of foreign researchers to examine Hitler's mortal remains for the first time since 1946."

    1. cosymart
      Headmaster

      Re: So...

      @Goldmember ".. What about the tests done around 10 years ago on Hitler's remains (by an American team), which revealed the skull held by the Russians is actually a female skull?

      It would appear this line in the article is inaccurate:

      "Last year Russia's secret service, the FSB, and its state archives authorised a team of foreign researchers to examine Hitler's mortal remains for the first time since 1946.""

      It therefore confirms that statement as the previous tests were not carried out on Hitler's remains but an unknown female possibly the owner of the valuable pink knickers.

    2. LDS Silver badge

      Re: So...

      That depends on what Cheka NKVD KGB FSB gave the team to analyse...

  7. Ken 16 Silver badge
    Holmes

    Or they could have just looked at a calendar...

    and not been fooled by his regular cameo roles on Discovery Channel*

    *Deadliest catch: Nazi submarine with Pharaoh's gold edition

    1. Alister Silver badge

      Re: Or they could have just looked at a calendar...

      and not been fooled by his regular cameo roles on Discovery Channel

      Never mind that, I saw him live discussing computer games here

  8. Mage Silver badge
    Alien

    on the dark side of the moon

    The Independent has this strange phrase too. There is the side that faces away and the side facing us. No dark side.

    1. Stevie Silver badge

      Re: on the dark side of the moon

      You'll be showing us your snapchat shot of the other side of the Moon to prove this?

      And if it's like you say, why did the NASA ground crews speak of the "communications blackout" when the space craft went to the part we never see? Eh? Eh?

      Pauses to smooth down hair and regain control

      Absent a spaceship with a camera, no-one on the Earth will ever see the backside of the Moon, and when they *can* see the Moon, the other side is always dark because the Sun is shining on the part we *can* see.

      So you may be right half the time, but it is the half when no-one cares. No-one at all. No-one suddenly sits up at their desk in the middle of the day and thinks "the far side of the moon may be fully lit right now" because no-one really thinks about the moon unless:

      a) They can see it - far side dark.

      2) They are watching Space 1999 or 2001 A Space Odyssey on the telly - not the real Moon; doesn't count

      +) They are paid to think about the Moon - same crowd who re-named Pluto not a planet; beneath contempt

      1. handleoclast Silver badge

        Re: on the dark side of the moon

        Absent a spaceship with a camera, no-one on the Earth will ever see the backside of the Moon, and when they *can* see the Moon, the other side is always dark because the Sun is shining on the part we *can* see.

        In your universe, perhaps. In my universe the moon has phases other than full moon and new moon. For example, in the first quarter half of the moon facing us is lit and half of the moon facing away from us (the bit we never see except from a spaceship) is also half lit.

      2. Mage Silver badge
        Alien

        Re: You'll be showing us your snapchat shot of the other side of the Moon

        Actually the Russians photographed the far side of the moon in 1959, Luna 3. Apollo 8 astronauts viewed from orbit in 1968.

        Far side good for a radio telescope shielded from human interference. The poles might be good for any sort of communication relay station (radio or laser) not suitable for a satellite, though I'm not sure on that.

      3. Dodgy Geezer Silver badge

        Re: on the dark side of the moon

        ...The doorman of Abbey Road Studios, Gerry O'Driscoll, is heard speaking at 1:37, answering the question: "What is 'the dark side of the moon'?" with: "There is no dark side of the moon, really. Matter of fact, it's all dark. The only thing that makes it look light is the sun."...

        Wiki entry for 'Dark Side of The Moon' - Pink Floyd album

    2. Mage Silver badge

      Re: on the dark side of the moon

      I had a friend that was a Pink Floyd fan. I thought it was a daft phrase in 1973 too. I did buy Relics, possibly because it was cheap old stock. Then again, I bought ELP Brain Salad Surgery. I was young and impressionable then.

      1. Mooseman Bronze badge

        Re: on the dark side of the moon

        BSS was and is epic. With the possible exception of their version of Jerusalem.

      2. pstiles

        Re: on the dark side of the moon

        Quote from the album (spoken):

        "There's no dark side of the moon"

    3. onefang Silver badge

      Re: on the dark side of the moon

      Matter of fact it's all dark.

      You think maybe Hitler's brain was digitized, and hidden in recent digital remixes of The Dark Side Of The Moon? Hmmm, looking in my Immersion boxed set of DSOTM, one of the coasters features a picture of a man with a ray of white light going in one ear, and a spectrum coming out the other. The plot thickens. If I invert all the bits and play it backwards, will I hear Mein Kampf?

  9. EveryTime Silver badge

    Wait, are you telling me that guy running the secret Nazi base on the dark side of the moon is actually an imposter?!

    https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1034314/

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I thought they found him in Pakistan and buried him at sea before anyone could verify he was dead. Oh wait sorry, my bad, wrong bad man. I do see a pattern though.

  11. Churro Joe
    Holmes

    Conspiracy Theories?

    The phrase 'conspiracy theory' seems to be used quite disparagingly, when you consider that the Nazis were quite conspiratorial. Also consider that it is a fact that lots of prominent Nazis did escape to South America. It doesn't mean that Hitler escaped, but surely it must have at some point been seen as an option.

    1. Stevie Silver badge

      Re: Conspiracy Theories?

      Yes. It's the difference between "a conspiracy" and "A conspiracy theory" that generates the contempt.

      An example of the first would be the Yalta Agreement.

      An example of the second would be The Birther twatism, anything said about the WTC by someone who is not versed in materials science, anything said online about anything political.

      1. Chozo
        Alien

        Re: Conspiracy Theories?

        Obviously somebody has 'persuaded' the prof to keep quiet about what he actually found.

        1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

          Re: Conspiracy Theories?

          So if Hitler died in 1945 who DID shoot Kennedy then ?

          1. bombastic bob Silver badge
            Devil

            Re: Conspiracy Theories?

            "So if Hitler died in 1945 who DID shoot Kennedy then ?"

            I'm tempted to say "yer mom" but I won't. Heh.

            Well, the general conspiracy surrounding Kennedy is that a) Oswald was a lousy shot [confirmed by my uncle, by the way], and b) he was NOT working alone.

            At the time Kennedy was succeeding in the area of civil rights, particularly with respect to the way black people were being unfairly treated in the southern states (like Mississippi). It's a fair bet that someone(s) in the Demo[c,n]rat party wanted him to 'go away'. LBJ claimed to be 'pro civil rights', but there's enough secondary evidence "out there" to prove he really wasn't. Although I doubt LBJ was behind it, the conspiracy would be "someone within the government" hired Oswald, and also had someone staged on 'the grassy knoll' who made the fatal shot. And when you look at what's being investigated at the moment with respect to the U.S. DOJ and FBI in particular, it's not that much of a stretch.

            [last time I was in Dallas, well, the ONLY time anyway, I could've gone to the mini-museum they apparently have there, but I didn't. I wasn't that bored, and it was only a 2.5 day business trip]

            As for Hitler's remains, I think the Russians did NOT want anyone DISproving that it's Hitler. The fact that it was PROVED to be Hitler must be a sigh of relief for more than a few people. Russia was probably the biggest single victim of Hitler's activities during WW2. As I recall they suffered more casualties than anyone else, or at least that's what Stalin wanted everyone to believe. So yes, they have a vested interest in knowing that THEY have Hitler's dead body, and it's definitely Hitler, if for no other reason than a bit of national pride. And no conspiracies allowed [from their perspective, I'd say].

          2. This post has been deleted by its author

          3. ICPurvis47
            Black Helicopters

            Re: Conspiracy Theories?

            Kennedy was shot - accidentally - by one of his security guards, who was riding in the Cadillac following Kennedy's Lincoln. He shouldn't have been there, but as the rostered security detail went out on the piss the previous night, and were unfit for duty, Hickey was press-ganged into riding shotgun. Oswald's first shot was deflected by a street sign and hit the kerbstone, sending up a shower of stone fragments, some of which hit Kennedy in the face. Kennedy said "Oh! God! I'm hit", at which point Governor Connalley turned in his seat to see what was going on. The second shot entered through Kennedy's neck and exited through his voice box, then hit Connalley in the shoulder, passing through and eventually lodging in the back of the front passenger seat. When he heard the first of Oswald's shots, Hickey stood up to see what was going on, grabbing the .22 repeater as he did so. When Oswald's second shot rang out, he swung round and the gun went off, shooting across the top of the windscreen of the Caddy and entering the back of Kennedy's head, disintegrating inside his skull and blowing his right temple off, complete with about a third of his brain. Oswald was using 6.5mm Full Metal jacket ammo, which would not have caused the quarter inch hole in the back of Kennedy's skull, that was made by the .22 Hollow Point ammo used in the Secret Service's weapon. (Edited to correct factual errors caused by senile decay. )

  12. Packet

    If only they had come out with this research a few years ago...

    That bloody awful TV show 'Hunting Hitler' could've been avoided completely.

    Watch it if you have a few hours to spare (and need an excuse to say 'just what drugs are these people smoking? and where can i get some?")

    It's entirely based on conjecture - putting 2 and 2 together and getting 22.

    Not to give anything away, but my favorite WTF bit was an old intelligence snippet mentioning someone openly wanting to get into the US selling information to the then OSS claiming Hitler was in South America - sure, no bias for bad intel there at all, buddy.

    On the more retrospective side, you'll get to see how easily people can be duped by their own beliefs... far from the OS wars to something more tangible, so to speak.

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    " "We can stop all the conspiracy theories about Hitler. He did not flee to Argentina in a submarine, he is not in a hidden base in Antarctica or on the dark side of the moon," Professor Philippe Charlier told the Agence-France Press newswire."

    Well they would say that wouldn't they if there was something to hide...

    1. Alister Silver badge

      Are you Mandy Rice-Davies?

  14. This post has been deleted by its author

  15. Symon Silver badge
    Joke

    Keyboard player out of Sparks.

    This town ain't big enough for the two of us.

    1. Stevie Silver badge

      Re: Keyboard player out of Sparks.

      Well I ain't leaving.

    2. BoldMan
      Trollface

      Re: Keyboard player out of Sparks.

      <pedant mode>

      I think you'll find the line is:

      "This town ain't big enough for the both of us."

      </pedant mode>

      :)

  16. Electricity_Guy

    Ah yes but....

    They don't know if he was cloned or not do they?

    yeah! you never thought about that did you?

    Crazy me? No.

    1. Swarthy Silver badge

      Re: Ah yes but....

      Have you been talking to The Boys from Brazil?

  17. Jay Lenovo Silver badge
    Angel

    Enquiringly minds want to know

    Ancient Nazi Historians believe Hitler may have escaped out of Germany, And if so...

    Will he inspire even more programming on the Discovery family of networks?

  18. Stuart Halliday

    Interesting. I thought the Germans had hidden the bones.

    Didn't realise the Russians had came across the bodies.

    1. GrumpenKraut Silver badge
      Trollface

      > Didn't realise the Russians had came across the bodies.

      That's what they think.

  19. evlsamo

    This seems to prove very little

    So...they have proved that it could have been hitler, or a body double that hadn't eaten meat in a little while. the statement that this debunks the conspiracy theories is somewhere between inaccurate and incorrect.

  20. Stevie Silver badge

    Bah!

    Finally! Proof positive that Hitler was cloned.

    The real one is alive and well on the far side of the Moon of course.

  21. E 2

    I thot he was consulting at Breitbart?!

  22. Frumious Bandersnatch Silver badge

    What?

    Iron Sky wasn't a documentary? Next you'll be telling me that Star Wreck: The Pirkinning was a rip-off of some US soap opera.

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The Problem with Conspiracy theories

    For me, is the word 'theory' which, if used correctly, does not apply to a wild raving made in the absence of, or contradicted by, any evidence, held onto increasingly firmly despite contradictory evidence, bolstered by an ad hoc collection of equally unsupported ravings. Conspiracy Ravings has an air to it, I think.

  24. Arthur the cat Silver badge

    The dictator is generally accepted to have swallowed cyanide and then shot himself

    Isn't there a German idiom that roughly translates as "feeling secure because you are wearing both belt and braces"?

    1. GrumpenKraut Silver badge
      Pirate

      "Sicher ist sicher.", literally "Safe is safe.", meaning "Better safe than sorry." is what I can think of. Morbidly amusing in the context of a suicide.

    2. Mage Silver badge

      swallowed cyanide and then shot himself

      Before or after setting fire to the room / bunker?

    3. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

      The dictator is generally accepted to have swallowed cyanide and then shot himself

      It's very important to get that ordering correct

  25. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    So he's now in France, eh?

    ""We can stop all the conspiracy theories about Hitler. He did not flee to Argentina in a submarine, he is not in a hidden base in Antarctica or on the dark side of the moon," Professor Philippe Charlier told the Agence-France Press newswire."

    I've seen enough horror movies in the 60's to recognize what has happened here; by examining the bones the professor has now also been infested with the evil Hitler brainwaves which are now taking over his body. Careful everyone!

  26. arctic_haze Silver badge
    Devil

    So wait...

    Who went to Argentina? Hitler's body double?

  27. martinusher Silver badge

    Somewhat irrelevant

    Hitler would be about 120 years old so the odds are that he's now dead wherever he ended up.-- in a grave in Berlin, in South America or the Dark Side of the Moon, its of no importance.

    What is important is that the forces that enabled Hitler are very much alive and well. They're unlikely to throw up another Hitler, especially in Germany, but that's because Hitler was just theater, a product of time and place, a convenient figurehead who could take the fall when and if that strain went south.

    Individuals are expendable. Focus on the ideology, not the person.

  28. Aging Hippy

    Something to remember when interviewing

    A couple of years ago I went on a tour of Austria which included an art college where "a certain Austrian" had applied for a place and been rejected - twice. If only ....

  29. Lance S

    Well, that is what they "would" say

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