back to article Did you even sweat, tho? Plaintiffs told to amend claims in Apple headphones suit

Apple has failed to get a class-action sueball over its allegedly "shoddy" headphones dismissed – but the plaintiffs have been told to amend their claims. A group of people last year filed an action accusing Cupertino of false advertising, claiming the Powerbeats headphones they bought had poor battery life and were not sweat …

  1. DNTP

    "lost faith in their ability to rely on... marketing"

    What is this magical, legendary ability to rely on marketing for that they speak of.

    1. nematoad Silver badge
      Happy

      Re: "lost faith in their ability to rely on... marketing"

      "... but several have actually averred that they replaced and/or purchased the product multiple times, believing that the defects would be fixed,"

      Yep, you can fool some of the people all of the time.

    2. MonkeyCee Silver badge

      Re: "lost faith in their ability to rely on... marketing"

      Marketing can't outright lie. If a statement is obviously meant figuratively then they may be able to. There is also a world of weasel words to give you the impression of one thing and delivering another.

      As an example "Red Bull gives you wings" is considered OK, since one cannot expect a soft drink to in fact allow you to grow wings. However "Red Bull gives you energy" is problematic, since why it may literally be true (if it has sugar in it) stimulants != energy.

      1. JohnFen Silver badge

        Re: "lost faith in their ability to rely on... marketing"

        "Marketing can't outright lie."

        Sure it can. It lies all the time -- often enough that my default assumption is that any piece of marketing I see is deceptive.

        Doing so may expose them to some sort of legal liability, but the odds that they'll suffer any sanction that exceeds the gains of the marketing are very low, rendering sanctions merely a component in the cost of marketing.

    3. macjules Silver badge

      Re: "lost faith in their ability to rely on... marketing"

      Wonder if anyone has filed that suit under the Sale of Goods Act in the UK?

      1. Cederic

        Re: "lost faith in their ability to rely on... marketing"

        The legal term 'puffery' would likely be wheeled out.

        However, in America.. https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/northamerica/usa/11155731/13m-lawsuit-proves-Red-Bull-doesnt-give-you-wings.html

  2. Aladdin Sane Silver badge

    The Register asked Apple to comment

    Good luck with that.

    1. Jay Lenovo Silver badge
      Facepalm

      Re: The Register asked Apple to comment

      Eh..what?.. Can't hear us?

      Yeah.. Just like wearing those sweat-retain'in, needs explain'in,

      ..."Where's the" Powerbeats

  3. abubasim
    WTF?

    The Seller's Consumer Law?

    "Apple had also argued that the plaintiffs could not seek an injunction against what they allege is false advertising, saying the group could not prove imminent harm."

    Is that how American consumer law works, that Apple is free to lie in a product's advertisement as long as no one gets hurt?

    1. vir

      Re: The Seller's Consumer Law?

      No, but they can't be forced to immediately pull all of the advertising in question while the lawsuit proceeds since no one's in danger of dying from a pair of broken headphones

  4. LeahroyNake Bronze badge

    Too salty

    Or not salty enough ....

    You are sweating wrong !

    They also look ridiculous IMHO.

    1. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge
      Alert

      Re: Too salty

      You are sweating wrong !

      I agree. Apple Fanbois don't "Sweat" like the great unwashed masses. No, proper Apple Fanbois may, on occasion, "Perspire".

      Plaintiffs can argue the case that "...perspiration means expiration"

      1. The Boojum

        Re: Too salty

        No, no, no!

        Apple Fanbois "Glow".

        Men perspire and horses sweat.

    2. aks Bronze badge

      Re: Too salty

      Ridiculous, or merely mercenary?

  5. MrDamage

    Worked as advertised

    The batteries lasted all 12 hours before they completely shat themselves.

  6. Barry Rueger Silver badge

    Simpler solution.

    Sometimes the best course of action is to say "Wow, these are crap," throw then in the trash, and do business with a different company.

    1. Voyna i Mor Silver badge

      Re: Simpler solution.

      A different company? But what different company has a fruit logo and a vast marketing budget?

      1. Aladdin Sane Silver badge

        Re: Simpler solution.

        Personally, I wouldn't rush to bin £100+ of bluetooth earphones.

        1. JohnFen Silver badge

          Re: Simpler solution.

          Personally, I wouldn't spend that much on bluetooth earphones to begin with.

          1. HamsterNet

            Re: Simpler solution.

            Thy has not tried the likes of a fine pair of Sennheiser or Bose then.

            1. JohnFen Silver badge

              Re: Simpler solution.

              Oh, I have, and they're great. I happily pay top-dollar for them, as long as they aren't bluetooth. It's the bluetooth part that reduces their value to me.

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Simpler solution.

          "Personally, I wouldn't rush to bin £100+ of bluetooth earphones."

          I would !!!

          As they 'sure as hell' would not be mine and anything left lying around with a 'Fruit' based logo is of no interest at all !!!

          Of course, the apple acolytes will be more than happy to buy another to support the 'Cult' as they need all the money they can get to fund the conversion of the great masses that are missing out :) ;)

          1. Aladdin Sane Silver badge

            Re: Simpler solution.

            No fruit logo on them - they were PowerBeats.

    2. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge
      Joke

      Re: Simpler solution.

      "Wow, these are crap,"

      Hey Gerald (Ratner), there's a job for you at Apple Marketing

  7. Pliny the Whiner

    Now we have to worry about fakes names along with fake news

    Judge Richard Seeborg. "Seeborg"? Pfft. Like that's a real name.

    1. aks Bronze badge

      Re: Now we have to worry about fakes names along with fake news

      Using the name Judge Robot Cyborg might give the impression that the machines have already taken control. ;)

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    why by somthing again that broke because its shite?

    but several have actually averred that they replaced and/or purchased the product multiple times, believing that the defects would be fixed

    Fanbois will be fanbois....

  9. d3vy Silver badge

    From my experience the kind of people who wear beats to the gym are the least likely to to actually sweat..

  10. Friendly Neighbourhood Coder Dan

    Found the solution. Tim Cook give me a shout if you are reading this

    I have just been granted the patent for the solution to the problem.

    It consists of a wire between the headphones and the device they are wirelessly connected to. It allows the headphones to use the other device's battery, which is bigger, instead of their own. That should also limit power consumption - I am not an expert, could be wrong, but they look nice so sod it - because there is no need to keep the blue tooth switched on in both devices. If you rest the wire along the perimeter of the device, it acquires visually pleasant round corners.

    1. Solmyr ibn Wali Barad

      Re: Found the solution. Tim Cook give me a shout if you are reading this

      Great idea. For added comfort, it should even be possible to design said wire to be removable by the enduser. Maybe using jack-type connectors on both the wire and the iDevice?

      1. Allan George Dyer Silver badge
        Paris Hilton

        Re: Found the solution. Tim Cook give me a shout if you are reading this

        @Solmyr ibn Wali Barad - "Maybe using jack-type connectors on both the wire and the iDevice"

        But that could give the consumer the idea that any accessory with a similar jack-type connector could be plugged in, which could be dangerous [to Apple profits].

    2. GrumpyOldBloke

      Re: Found the solution. Tim Cook give me a shout if you are reading this

      I read the first bit "It consists of a wire between the headphones"

      And thought, yup that'll do it.

  11. DiViDeD Silver badge

    There's one of them dichotomy thingies here.

    People are upset about their powerbeats phones not being sweat proof and not retaining battery power, and not a *word* about them sounding shit and looking ridiculous?

    Shirley Knott

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