Re: Agile is b*llocks. Any non-idiot knows this.
I generally agree with what you've said.
But I do think Agile has a place - a very specific place - but it is being used as the corporate development methodology instead of using it only in its appropriate niche.
TLDR version: Agile is a tool fit for certain types of projects, it is not a be-all end-all methodology, or even the 'default' methodology when a new project spins up. A project itself should be able to work out in its initial management-level phases what methodology (or methodologies if it's big enough to spawn sub-projects) it's going to need.
As was explained to me - and patently common-sense obvious - during the in-house training sessions that some high-priced consultants were brought in to perform, Agile was one of several methodologies in the toolbox, and you need to pick the right tool (methodology) depending on the circumstances of the project.
This consultant drew up an XY graph (positive quadrant only), with the vertical (Y) axis labelled COMPLEX at the top and SIMPLE at the bottom. The X axis was labelled on the left - where it intersected the Y axis - with WELL DEFINED and at the right with UNCERTAIN.
These referred to whether the task itself was a complex task (e.g. building a nuclear power station) vs a simple task - walking the dog. And the X axis referred to whether you had a precise specification of what needed to be delivered, e.g. working from an engineering blue print, or whether you only had a general idea of what the end-goal the customer wanted - I want a high tech fighter plane that has gee-wow features - which is likely subject to change in the details - I now want this feature added, no take that one away, hey a senator says he'll block funding unless we make this widget in a factory in his state.
So something like the F-35 would be at the top (COMPLEX) right (UNCERTAIN) quadrant, a giant cruise ship at the top (COMPLEX) left (WELL DEFINED) quadrant, making a model-kit airplane at the bottom (SIMPLE) left (WELL DEFINED), with decorating the office of the new PM being in the bottom (SIMPLE) right (UNCERTAIN) quadrant.
If you project falls into the top-left, then waterfall (or similar) is most likely the appropriate tool.
If it falls into the bottom left, who cares? It's simple and well defined, detailed specifications, just get it done.
If it falls into the bottom right, that's Agile, as you'll have to adjust what you are doing as the customer changes their minds, adds/removes features, and so on.
If you are in the top right, you are already doomed so might as well just give up before getting started. (In an ideal world, it'd be up to the Programme Managers to sort it out, and split it into sub-components that could then be hoiked off to one of the other three quadrants, split it up into sub-programs that that will then fall into waterfall, agile, who-the-fuck-cares quadrants).
So Agile is a tool that works in specific categories of projects - government projects tend to fall in this category, as they are always changing. There could be a change of government itself during the life-cycle of the project therefore specifications/priorities change, or old-fashioned political infighting - SLS vested interests for example.
Edit: added the TLDR.