back to article Australian foreplay: Bum-biting in an underground hole

Wombats generally get tagged as #cute in social media images, but on dates things can get, umm, hairy, with boffins reporting bum-biting as a prominent mating behaviour. If a male Southern Hairy-Nosed Wombat runs down a female in a burrow, he's confronted with a challenge: the marsupials' ample, muscular, and extremely solid …

  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The wombat is the only animal

    with square turds.

    Not many people know that.

    1. Denarius

      Re: The wombat is the only animal

      Square ? not around here they are. Short, dumpy round, like a beagles. And their droppings are the same. Wombats also only animal that makes erosion a virtue. And sacred to the PHB city dwellers so the rivers get lots of fresh dirt washed into them.

      1. Ochib

        Re: The wombat is the only animal

        1. jake Silver badge

          Re: The wombat is the only animal

          The aussies have a very strange idea of what the word "cubic" means. So much for the square peg in a round hole joke that was simmering just under the surface ...

  2. Sorry that handle is already taken. Silver badge

    Wombats have it all figured out

    It's not a proper date unless...

  3. Dodgy Geezer Silver badge

    Let's hope ....

    ...Dr Swinbourne and colleagues have been observing the more common Southern Hairy-Nosed Wombat's mating behaviours to develop a breeding model for the northern cousin....

    ...Dr Swinbourne has not just happened upon a local Wombat S&M club...

    If he has, the Northern Cousins are going to be SO surprised by the human's attempts to help them to breed...

    1. Paul Kinsler

      Re: Dr Swinbourne ... If he has, ...

      if *she* has ...

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Bender was a wombat?

    1. Denarius


      nope did not eat. Roots, leaves or anything else as it is a robot. BTW, was Bender ever seen recharging or was the alcholism necessary as fuel ?

      1. Sgt_Oddball Silver badge

        Re: Bender

        Alcohol is benders fuel, it confirmed in multiple episodes including one where doesn't drink and goes off on one like that mad uncle we've all got at a wedding (unless you don't have that man uncle. In which case I've got some bad news...)

  5. Shane 4


    I mean come let's be real, Who doesn't mind a bit of bum biting?

    Take what you can get, I say!

  6. TRT Silver badge

    Hence the term...


  7. Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

    Gives new meaning to the term "bite me"...

  8. Scroticus Canis

    Australian Foreplay - Whatever Happened to "Brace Yourself Sheila"?

    Mine's the one with drop bear proof hat above it.

  9. jake Silver badge

    So THAT's ...

    ... where the aussie chick I dated at Uni got the idea.

    Go with the flow ... such things become "normal" (whatever that means!) fairly quickly, and as long as your partner is happy and you're not scaring the critters & the children, it's all good :-)

  10. Bob Wheeler

    "but it's perfectly natural and hilarious to watch"

    Now what's the Judge going to say if you try that as an excuse?

    1. Rich 11 Silver badge

      Re: "but it's perfectly natural and hilarious to watch"

      I expect he'll say "Get your filthy hands off me!"

  11. x 7

    Not unusual

    I can think of plenty of females who practice bum biting

  12. The Nazz Silver badge

    My first threesome

    Top tip : If you're gonna have a cosy fireside shag on a soft rug with the girlfriend ( later to be wife and later still be the ex) make sure her dog is securely locked away.

    Collie rather than wombat but it still bit my arse. Drew blood but thankfully no hospitalisation.

    Perhaps she ( the gf) moved a little and let out a whimper?.

    ps the dog and the ex shared the wombats feature between them, one the hairy nose, the other the big rump.

    1. onefang Silver badge

      Re: My first threesome

      "ps the dog and the ex shared the wombats feature between them, one the hairy nose, the other the big rump."

      Curious minds wish to know, which one had which feature?

POST COMMENT House rules

Not a member of The Register? Create a new account here.

  • Enter your comment

  • Add an icon

Anonymous cowards cannot choose their icon

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2019