back to article Mystery crapper comes a cropper

A phantom plopper was literally caught with his pants down after New Jersey cops arrested a top education chief in the act of dropping the kids off... just not at the pool. Thomas Tramaglini, a school superintendent at Kenilworth, was detained after investigators conducted a sting operation to snare the secret shitter on a …

  1. Korev Silver badge
    Joke

    Pooing on an athletics track you say?

    I guess he got the runs....

  2. NellyD
    Joke

    Not often you see...

    ...skid marks on a running track.

  3. pɹɐʍoɔ snoɯʎuouɐ
    Joke

    shitty story..... not the usual standard of crap from El Reg....

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I hope he faeces justice.

  5. Daedalus Silver badge

    Meet....

    Noted American Anglophile David Sedaris likes to engage people who work in shops in conversation and will eventually ask "Do people defecate in your store?". Astonishingly he usually gets the answer "Oh my God yes, it happens all the time!". Sometimes it's the old gotta go, hide it under a display, other times it's right in the middle of the changing room.

    "Some people are crazy" copyright (C) John Martyn RIP.

  6. JLV Silver badge

    what's it with runs and shit?

    http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/real-life/wtf/police-hunt-jogger-who-has-been-defecating-on-familys-lawn-for-weeks/news-story/478b8d04725dcf80281fd1b65f4d3984

    lotsa effin weird filk, I say.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: what's it with runs and shit?

      Running can give you the trots- and the annoying thing is that because it tends to be a regular routine, you can easily get into a bit of a pattern. I once found myself caught short and had to shuffle to the nearest public loo about a quarter of a mile away - and for the next few weeks found myself repeating the same every time I went for a run. It helps to get rid of some ballast before a run, and also to make sure you don't eat beforehand.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Hm. I had lunch at a Wendy's once, and felt the need to restock the lake with brown trout, so I marched off to the men's room.

    The one stall was occupied by a bloke who was using the sink to shave. I complained to the manager that I really needed to go, and asked permission to use the ladies' room, which was probably also one stall and unoccupied.

    He informed me that he'd have me arrested if I tried that, so I just left a large deposit at the door of the stall in the men's room and left.

    Anon for the obvious reason.

    1. werdsmith Silver badge

      Have you arrested for using the ladies loo? For what? At least in Europe there is no law broken if you do, and anyone who has been in a busy pub knows that the women frequently use the mens room when their's is busy. Nobody cares.

      On the other matter, if the guy is shaving and not sitting then just share the damn stall.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        "Have you arrested for using the ladies loo?"

        Not a problem nowadays, you just announce that you've decided to self-identify as a woman, march in, do the business, exit and announce that you've changed you mind.

      2. Adam 52 Silver badge

        "Have you arrested for using the ladies loo? For what?"

        I would imagine that it'd be covered by the Ways and Means Act. These days you'd probably get a sexual offences prohibition order too.

      3. Tom 7 Silver badge

        On my first adult visit to Belgium I was standing at the pub urinal disposing of the unwanted bits of about 12 pints of trappist ale and was surprised at the constant flow of not only the processed ale but the number of women behind me on the way to the sit-down. They seem quite happy with mixed sex toilets there.

        1. This post has been deleted by its author

        2. Kernel

          "On my first adult visit to Belgium I was standing at the pub urinal disposing of the unwanted bits of about 12 pints of trappist ale and was surprised at the constant flow of not only the processed ale but the number of women behind me on the way to the sit-down. They seem quite happy with mixed sex toilets there."

          Encountered the same at a beer festival here in NZ some years ago - with the enhancement that some of the women concerned were happy to pass comment on the beer was being drained from as they walked past - nobody of either sex seemed to consider it a problem.

      4. grumpy-old-person

        Runners in deserate need need to go . . .

        Some years ago out on a run training for the Comrades Marathon (in South Africa many of us are quite unusually fond of running long distances!) I had completed a fairly steep uphill section when my bowels decide to move as well.

        The only thing to do was to head for a service station a kilometre or so along the road that I knew had public toilets.

        The bowels became more and more insistent the faster I ran and by the time I reached the service station I was on the brink of being (literally) in the brown and smelly stuff.

        Without any regard for signage,or anything else for that matter, I vaguely was aware that I caused a stir as I entered the toilet.

        Once relieved - of the bowel problem and that I had managed to avoid disaster - I realised that in my rush I had run into the ladies.

        Came out trying not to look too flustered and set off again after thanking the staff for the use of the facilities!

    2. JLV Silver badge
      Paris Hilton

      I'm really struggling to visualize how one would go about shaving in a stall.

      Sink I get. How does a stall help? Rinsing off the razor in the toilet bowl???

      Also, why didn't the manager kick out the guy shaving?

    3. Mr Dogshit
      Headmaster

      It's not a sink

      It's a basin.

  8. Mark 85 Silver badge

    Just another free spirit who thinks the world is not his oyster but his crapper. And we want to go to other planets? These types will go with us unless we can convince them to wait for the B-Ark.

    1. Grikath Silver badge

      There are plenty of old-school SF greats who tackled this conundrum. They were generally very explicit about frontier-style societies and Darwinism....

      YMMV, but unless the putative planet is a garden of Eden, the end result is: we don't need a B-Ark... Things will sort themselves out.

      The B-option is for keeping *this* planet ...sane.. Although the implied warning is that we still need to think really hard how many phone bo..... mobile handset sanitisers we actually need.

  9. fidodogbreath Silver badge
    IT Angle

    SH-IT, I assume?

  10. DNTP
    IT Angle

    Just another high level government official

    literally taking a dump on the public school system.

    (IT? badge for emergency downloading)

    Edit: I am now going to refer to The 2nd Act as "doin' a DeVos"

    1. Montreal Sean
      Joke

      Re: Just another high level government official

      You can't refer to a number 2 as "doin' a DeVos", I don't think she can count that high.

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Deja vu

    The golf course dumper has almost exactly the same MO as one around here around twenty years ago. An old chap who'd been refused membership would take it in turns to leave a deposit in every hole - and he too rode a bicycle. As well as a pair of yellow marigolds, a beret and occasionally a rubber skirt. He'd also occasionally stop his bicycle, and give a jerky and slow salute in the manner of a member of the Trumpton fire brigade.

  12. John H Woods Silver badge

    Apparently...

    ... the fact he has not yet been convicted has not deterred the press from referring to him as the Poopertrator. Or the Pooperindendent.

  13. The Nazz Silver badge

    Dirty bastard

    That's twice i've read this story, first on the BBC then here.

    Not once has there been any mention of the use of loo/toilet/bog paper. See title.

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Crap and field team

    Won by a short turtle head?

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