back to article Windows 10 April 2018 Update lands today... ish

Unless something goes very badly wrong, the April 2018 Update to Windows 10 lands today, April 30, 2018*, complete with a new way to handle updates called delivery optimization. The idea behind delivery optimization is to let you download updates to one PC, once only, then have other PCs on your network grab those updates over …

  1. Dan 55 Silver badge
    Stop

    "Keep clicking, Windows-lovers! It's bound to come along soon."

    Wouldn't a wiser course of action be to not download it and let everyone else test it first, since MS has decided QA is optional?

    1. Michael Habel Silver badge
      Go

      Re: "Keep clicking, Windows-lovers! It's bound to come along soon."

      Like they would just give you the choice...

      *Unless you were lucky enough to be on some Enterprise Edition.

      1. This post has been deleted by its author

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: "Keep clicking, Windows-lovers! It's bound to come along soon."

        "*Unless you were lucky enough to be on some Enterprise Edition."

        You get 2 years to upgrade to it on CBB. No need to rush.

        1. Michael Habel Silver badge

          Re: "Keep clicking, Windows-lovers! It's bound to come along soon."

          I thought they [MicroSoft] had decided to retire the Current Branch (for), Business, about a year or so ago. So its kinda surprising to see you bring it up.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: "Keep clicking, Windows-lovers! It's bound to come along soon."

            "I thought they [MicroSoft] had decided to retire the Current Branch (for), Business, about a year or so ago. So its kinda surprising to see you bring it up."

            That's the only enterprise build for standard use so that seems unlikely. The only other option is the LTSB which is very specifically not for standard use, not for anything that runs MS Office and is meant for kiosks, medical devices, ATMs, etc. For instance LTSB wont support Office 2019 Pro Plus.

            1. Dan 55 Silver badge

              Re: "Keep clicking, Windows-lovers! It's bound to come along soon."

              For instance LTSB wont support Office 2019 Pro Plus.

              More like Office 2019 Pro Plus will be deliberately nobbled because too many people are finding out about a non-TIFKAM, non-slurp option and MS have to try and get them back on track.

              1. Anonymous Coward
                Anonymous Coward

                Re: "Keep clicking, Windows-lovers! It's bound to come along soon."

                " too many people are finding out about a non-TIFKAM, non-slurp option "

                LTSB has the same interface and the same telemetry.

                1. Anonymous Coward
                  Anonymous Coward

                  Re: "Keep clicking, Windows-lovers! It's bound to come along soon."

                  "LTSB has the same interface and the same telemetry."

                  Lol @ all downvotes for an entirely factual statement. Wow this place is full of Microsoft hating fan boys.

              2. Anonymous Coward
                Anonymous Coward

                Re: "Keep clicking, Windows-lovers! It's bound to come along soon."

                >>More like Office 2019 Pro Plus will be deliberately nobbled

                Microsoft always clearly stated that the LTSB was not suitable if you wanted to run Office. If you ignored that advice then it's only you at fault.

              3. jelabarre59 Silver badge

                Re: "Keep clicking, Windows-lovers! It's bound to come along soon."

                For instance LTSB wont support Office 2019 Pro Plus.

                And this is a defect/problem how??? I'd consider that a *feature*.

            2. Tempest8008

              Re: "Keep clicking, Windows-lovers! It's bound to come along soon."

              I'm calling BS on the downvotes on many of these.

              There's absolutely NOTHING wrong with what this particular AC wrote.

            3. M_W

              Re: "Keep clicking, Windows-lovers! It's bound to come along soon."

              They just changed it's name;

              Current Branch for Business = Semi-Annual Channel (Broad)

              Current Branch (i.e. today's release) = Semi-Annual Channel (Targeted) (Pilot)

              Long Term Service Branch (LTSB) = LTSC (Long Term Servicing Channel)

              And Beta = Windows Insider

              1. Dan 55 Silver badge

                Re: "Keep clicking, Windows-lovers! It's bound to come along soon."

                And Windows 10 Pro is more-or-less Windows 10 Home.

                If you want virtualisation stuff you have to talk to the nice MS licencing man about Enterprise because it's gone from Pro.

                Pray they don't alter the deal any further.

                1. J. Cook Silver badge

                  Re: "Keep clicking, Windows-lovers! It's bound to come along soon."

                  Enterprise is also the most expensive option, and IIRC, you can *only* get it if you have an enterprise agreement (EA) and possibly Premier agreement active.

                  And even *THEN* you still have to de-crappify the client to remove patently non-business shite like the Xbox crap and other stuff that has no business being baked into the enterprise build.

    2. Terry 6 Silver badge

      Re: "Keep clicking, Windows-lovers! It's bound to come along soon."

      Why would you rush, anyway. There's not really anything in that description that's going to warm many heart cockles.

      Now if I could get shut of "mixed reality portal" * and other Start menu excrescences I might be keener.

      * in any other walk of life this would be a sign of insanity, it's so perverse. Windows 1st run tests to see if Mixed reality portal will work on the machine. If not it removes the controls that let you remove it

    3. Jim Willsher

      Re: "Keep clicking, Windows-lovers! It's bound to come along soon."

      yes, that's the plan I'm taking this time. Fed up being their beta-tester; this time I'll wait.

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: "Keep clicking, Windows-lovers! It's bound to come along soon."

      "and let everyone else test it first, since MS has decided QA is optional?"

      Not only have MS already dog fooded it internally, but several million voluntary beta testers that have signed up for Windows Insider have already tested it. So in fact way more testing than any other competing OS gets before release.

      1. Dan 55 Silver badge

        Re: "Keep clicking, Windows-lovers! It's bound to come along soon."

        And as we've seen oh shill, throwing shit at a fan is no substitute for proper QA, something SatNad disbanded in 2014.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: "Keep clicking, Windows-lovers! It's bound to come along soon."

          "proper QA, something SatNad disbanded in 2014."

          TWC was nothing to do with QA. And they moved those TWC functions directly into the respective engineering teams, they didn't evaporate.

          1. Dan 55 Silver badge

            Re: "Keep clicking, Windows-lovers! It's bound to come along soon."

            TWC was nothing to do with QA.

            And black is white, water is dry...

            And they moved those TWC functions directly into the respective engineering teams, they didn't evaporate.

            2,100 former employees would beg to differ.

            1. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: "Keep clicking, Windows-lovers! It's bound to come along soon."

              "2,100 former employees would beg to differ."

              No they wouldn't as they were overwhelmingly the non engineering employees. Microsoft cut 18,000 staff in the restructure that involved buying Nokia. And Trustworthy computing was about secure coding practices, secure by design, secure default settings, etc. etc. NOT QA / testing.

      2. fandom

        Re: "Keep clicking, Windows-lovers! It's bound to come along soon."

        "Not only have MS already...."

        It's heartwarming to see that MS is finally getting some fans back.

        A couple more decades and they won't even be posting anonymously.

      3. Dave K Silver badge

        Re: "Keep clicking, Windows-lovers! It's bound to come along soon."

        I'm not knocking the benefit of having lots of Insiders test it, but there is no substitute for a proper, structured and complete testing programme. Ad-hoc testing will always miss something - for example the webcam issue a year or two back that was missed.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: "Keep clicking, Windows-lovers! It's bound to come along soon."

          "I'm not knocking the benefit of having lots of Insiders test it, but there is no substitute for a proper, structured and complete testing programme. "

          They have that too. Both automated and human.

          1. Dazed and Confused

            Re: "Keep clicking, Windows-lovers! It's bound to come along soon."

            They have that too. Both automated and human.

            They might have, but they clearly don't actually use it or there wouldn't be anything like the number of bugs managing to get out of the door to customers.

        2. doublelayer Silver badge

          Re: "Keep clicking, Windows-lovers! It's bound to come along soon."

          "several million voluntary beta testers that have signed up for Windows Insider have already tested it."

          Microsoft has 1.5 million insiders. That is not several million. Also, many of them are like me--I'm in the insiders group but it has been a long time since I last really tested something rather than just firing up the system once in a while to see if I notice something. The updates are a bit annoying, and I don't spend enough time in windows to make it worth my time. I'm mostly in the group because I was four years ago and why bother withdrawing? I just checked my VM with the insider build on it--seems I haven't used it since February.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: "Keep clicking, Windows-lovers! It's bound to come along soon."

            "Microsoft has 1.5 million insiders".

            No its about ten times that. It went past 7 million 3 years ago:

            https://www.onmsft.com/news/windows-insiders-program-reaches-7-million-members

          2. jelabarre59 Silver badge

            Re: "Keep clicking, Windows-lovers! It's bound to come along soon."

            Microsoft has 1.5 million insiders. That is not several million. Also, many of them are like me--I'm in the insiders group but it has been a long time since I last really tested something rather than just firing up the system once in a while to see if I notice something.

            Or they could be like me. *BOTH* machines I had been running the Tech Preview on died to the point they won't even *power on* anymore. Not sacrificing any more hardware.

            1. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: "Keep clicking, Windows-lovers! It's bound to come along soon."

              "* machines I had been running the Tech Preview on died to the point they won't even *power on* anymore. "

              So not an OS issue then.

              1. Dan 55 Silver badge

                Re: "Keep clicking, Windows-lovers! It's bound to come along soon."

                Windows 10 has been known to hose the BIOS/UEFI.

                1. Anonymous Coward
                  Anonymous Coward

                  Re: "Keep clicking, Windows-lovers! It's bound to come along soon."

                  "Windows 10 has been known to hose the BIOS/UEFI."

                  Nothing obvious there as to Windows 10 actually breaking anything. Linux on the other hand definitely has been known to bork hardware:

                  https://www.computing.co.uk/ctg/news/3023573/canonical-pulls-ubuntu-update-after-bios-corruption-issue-affecting-laptops

                  1. Dan 55 Silver badge

                    Re: "Keep clicking, Windows-lovers! It's bound to come along soon."

                    As you forgot to post the sentence immediately after the heading, I'll do it for you...

                    Canonical points finger of blame at Intel for a shonky set of drivers incorporated into the Linux kernel

            2. ChrisBedford

              Re: "Keep clicking, Windows-lovers! It's bound to come along soon."

              Or they could be like me. *BOTH* machines I had been running the Tech Preview on died to the point they won't even *power on* anymore. Not sacrificing any more hardware.

              Oh, right, hardware failure is *OBVIOUSLY* the fault of the OS, since it happened to both of them. There's *NO SUCH THING* as coincidence, right?

              Seriously?

              I mean, for real, seriously?

              If your computers don't power on, that's a PSU or mobo problem. PLEASE explain how Windows is to blame for either of those. No, go on, I'm dying to hear your rationalisation.

      4. Mage Silver badge
        FAIL

        Re: but several million voluntary beta testers

        That's not proper testing. A badly chosen group and a reliance on telemetry.

        See Norman Nielsen Group articles.

      5. JohnFen Silver badge

        Re: "Keep clicking, Windows-lovers! It's bound to come along soon."

        "Not only have MS already dog fooded it internally, but several million voluntary beta testers that have signed up for Windows Insider have already tested it."

        None of which is an adequate substitute for a solid QA program. It's great as an addition to QA, but not as a replacement.

      6. J27 Bronze badge

        Re: "Keep clicking, Windows-lovers! It's bound to come along soon."

        Don't pay those guys any mind, they're stuck in a pre-continuous-delivery world.

        1. JohnFen Silver badge

          Re: "Keep clicking, Windows-lovers! It's bound to come along soon."

          I wish I were stuck in the pre-continuous-delivery world. Software was so much easier to deal with then.

      7. David 132 Silver badge

        Re: "Keep clicking, Windows-lovers! It's bound to come along soon."

        AC ”Not only have MS already dog fooded it internally...”

        AC, you may or may not be a Microsoft shill, but I’m happy to see that we’re in agreement.

        Well, except that I think the other end of the dog is involved.

      8. Mark 85 Silver badge

        Re: "Keep clicking, Windows-lovers! It's bound to come along soon."

        Not only have MS already dog fooded it internally, but several million voluntary beta testers that have signed up for Windows Insider have already tested it. So in fact way more testing than any other competing OS gets before release.

        Do you really believe this or are you a paid troll? If they have (and may very well have) that many "testers" willing or unwillingly, then they are doing a piss poor job of fixing the deficiencies found. Testing is fine, fixing is different issue.

      9. This post has been deleted by its author

        1. Fungus Bob Silver badge
          Windows

          Re: "Keep clicking, Windows-lovers! It's bound to come along soon."

          To all those bashing Microsoft's QA process,

          Don't you think your expectations are just a wee bit unrealistic. C'mon, this is as good as Open Sores Software gets!

    5. Mage Silver badge

      Re: "Keep clicking, Windows-lovers! It's bound to come along soon."

      Yes! Absolutely! Can't! Upvote! Enough!

      ~

      It also sounds Meh.

      * Peer to Peer Windows Updates on LAN already existed.

      * Voice dictation with a key press combo possible since at least 2002 on Windows.

      * Who really wants Win 10s?

      I bet it doesn't fix ANY of the things really needing fixed.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: "Keep clicking, Windows-lovers! It's bound to come along soon."

        For the love of god, can't we just have a PROPER start menu??????

        Put that in and I guarantee loads of folks would give it (W10) another chance.

        Keep fucking around with crap no one wants or needs but a simple start menu is too much for them.

    6. The Man Who Fell To Earth
      WTF?

      Focus Assist

      Can you use it to suppress that useless time wasting trash called Slack?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Focus Assist

        "Can you use it to suppress that useless time wasting trash called Slack?"

        You can replace it with Microsoft Teams. Which wastes your time more effectively with a nicer GUI and more unified communications functionality.

      2. Dazed and Confused

        Re: Focus Assist

        Can you use it to suppress that useless time wasting trash called

        constant bloody updates. If I wanted to send this much time managing my PC I'd have become a systems administrator.

        1. ChrisBedford

          Re: Focus Assist

          constant bloody updates. If I wanted to send this much time managing my PC I'd have become a systems administrator.

          Stop being so bloody dramatic. If they didn't do updates you'd moan about that instead. "Constant" updates = once a month, BFD, and it happens after hours (or didn't you set your working hours correctly?)

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Users, start your updates...

    Ready for the latest fix from Nanny?

    There’s a swag of other sysadmin-friendly stuff too, like the AutoPilot enrolment status page that lets you check that a new device has all the correct policies in place

    In other words, MS will tell you that all those little work arounds you have so carefully put in place to make Windows 10 bearable and half usable will be consigned to the wastebasket before applying the update whereupon you will have to find other ways to make the OS work as you want it and not as the 'nanny from Redmond' wants you to.

    I think I'll get the popcorn in. This could get interesting.

    I'll wait for at least a couple of weeks before enabling updates on my Windows 10 systems after making sure that I have image backups of them all before MS goes stomping all over them. Nothing like being prepared for the of bork or two now is there eh?

    1. TheGreatCabbage

      Re: Users, start your updates...

      I'm going to install the update as soon as possible, since I'm planning to clean install it soon anyway.

      I'm working on a tool to make the setup after clean installing much easier, the prototype is working nicely.

      1. Jaap Aap

        Re: Users, start your updates...

        If you're working on a tool to make setup much easier, why didn't you take a look at the available options out there?

        I'm running OPSI (free and open source) for about 50 computers, including a couple of home computers, for myself and family. It works equally well for my work and for home usage. It does OS installations and seperate software packages.

    2. ChrisBedford

      Re: Users, start your updates...

      to make the OS work as you want it and not as the 'nanny from Redmond' wants you to

      ...as opposed to the way the nanny from Cupertino wants you to work, of course, which is *S-O-O-O-O-O* much more agreeable and easier?

      1. Michael Wojcik Silver badge

        Re: Users, start your updates...

        ...as opposed to the way the nanny from Cupertino wants you to work, of course, which is *S-O-O-O-O-O* much more agreeable and easier?

        The existence of Asshole A does not mitigate the offenses of Asshole M.

        I know, I know. Logic is hard.

  3. jake Silver badge

    "Peer-to-peer patch distribution over the LAN"

    Absolutely nothing could go wrong there! Great idea, Redmond!

    1. Voland's right hand Silver badge

      Re: "Peer-to-peer patch distribution over the LAN"

      This is more in the realm of "If you thought that you will prevent updates on this machine by firewalling it, you thought wrong".

    2. bombastic bob Silver badge
      Meh

      Re: "Peer-to-peer patch distribution over the LAN"

      I might want to say "it's about time" while simultaneously snarking about its very existence...

      That is something that pretty much everybody wanted at least 2 decades ago. Only thing NOW is that it's being CRAMMED UP OUR AS DOWN OUR THROATS. It's like adding lube to the unpleasant experience involving Micro-shaft's customers bending over, etc. to make it "easier".

      To me this was an OBVIOUS thing, i.e. "how to share updates". but when "update" typically means "take away things I did for customization" through "give me a UI from HELL that I never asked for", why bother?

      Except when it's FORCED upon us...

      1. Michael Habel Silver badge

        Re: "Peer-to-peer patch distribution over the LAN"

        >whynotboth.jpg

      2. phuzz Silver badge
        Alert

        Re: "Peer-to-peer patch distribution over the LAN"

        "patch distribution over the LAN [...] is something that pretty much everybody wanted at least 2 decades ago"

        Well, there was always WSUS, but then if you've ever been a WSUS admin you'll understand why Microsoft decided to burn it to the ground and start over...

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: "Peer-to-peer patch distribution over the LAN"

          "if you've ever been a WSUS admin you'll understand why Microsoft decided to burn it to the ground and start over..."

          WSUS is fine as a patch gateway. And it's still the base choice - they have not "burnt it to the ground".

    3. Korev Silver badge

      Re: "Peer-to-peer patch distribution over the LAN"

      Is this feature too late? A Windows ISO is about the same size as a couple of hours of Netflix watching. I understand that for a few people on the end of crappy satellite or aluminium ADSL connections it’ll be a lifesaver; but for most of us it’ll just use up disc space.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: "Peer-to-peer patch distribution over the LAN"

        "I understand that for a few people on the end of crappy satellite or aluminium ADSL connections it’ll be a lifesaver"

        Probably it will save Microsoft millions in bandwidth costs.

      2. Joerg

        Re: "Peer-to-peer patch distribution over the LAN"

        aluminium ADSL ? Usually phone lines cables are made of copper...

        1. Nevermind

          Re: "Peer-to-peer patch distribution over the LAN"

          Hooo no, there are alu joints out there *looking at you BT*

        2. Martin an gof Silver badge

          Re: "Peer-to-peer patch distribution over the LAN"

          Usually phone lines cables are made of copper

          There was a fad in the 1970s of using Aluminium, mainly for cost-saving I believe, even in house electrical wiring. This tended to be Copper-clad (or coated) Aluminium and can create all sorts of problems as it doesn't have the same electrical characteristics as Copper, so you can't use (quite) the same capacity and rating calculations, and joints need regular inspection.

          While you won't see CCA used in house wiring nowadays (thankfully), cheap network cable is often CCA. Potential future gotchas to look out for.

          M.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: "Peer-to-peer patch distribution over the LAN"

            "cheap network cable is often CCA"

            Naughty to claim that it's CAT 5E cable. The spec specifically requires copper.

        3. Brewster's Angle Grinder Silver badge

          Re: "Peer-to-peer patch distribution over the LAN"

          "Usually phone lines cables are made of copper..."

          There's usual. And then there's Milton Keynes.

        4. Mage Silver badge
          Unhappy

          Re: phone lines cables are made of copper

          Should be. But BT decided to save money. I think Milton Keynes might be all aluminium. The connections are a big issue.

          At least they kept plastic insulation and didn't go back to paper.

          1. Chloe Cresswell

            Re: phone lines cables are made of copper

            Used to be around one area I work where we had the lot. Copper to start, aluminium for middle buildings, and TPON to copper on the furthest.

            They took the TPON link out 2 years ago. So we can now get adsl there...

        5. HPCJohn

          Re: "Peer-to-peer patch distribution over the LAN"

          Joerg, there are aluminium phone lines in the UK. These were laid in to save costs.

          I live in London Docklands, and suffered from 'aluminium ADSL'. The distance to the exchange in that area is large, also there ar eno junction boxes so there are straight runs to the exchange, as the lines originally were used for alarm lines to Docklands warehouses.

          Amusingly, or rather not amusingly, on a hot day my ADSL service would stop working. I am sure this was due to some expansion in a bad joint on the line.

          I cant guarantee those lines were Aluminium, but it sure felt like it.

          All solved now with Hyperoptic and fibre to the building.

        6. jelabarre59 Silver badge

          Re: "Peer-to-peer patch distribution over the LAN"

          aluminium ADSL ? Usually phone lines cables are made of copper...

          I think the ones to my brother's cabin are made from lead (low-grade lead for that matter).

    4. Pascal Monett Silver badge
      Thumb Up

      Re: "Peer-to-peer patch distribution over the LAN"

      There's nothing Redmond won't do to help hackers take over its OS.

      Now waiting for news that blackhats have found a 0-day and are plonking malware into the update system that gets distributed far and wide and auto-installed, courtesy of Microsoft's "bandwidth saving" measures.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: "Peer-to-peer patch distribution over the LAN"

        "Now waiting for news that blackhats have found a 0-day and are plonking malware into the update system that gets distributed far and wide and auto-installed, courtesy of Microsoft's "bandwidth saving" measures."

        Not likely - that's why there is still 10% of traffic remaining after doing this - all catalogues, packages and signatures are still checked with Microsoft - its only the binary blobs that are cached.

        1. Pascal Monett Silver badge

          @AC

          "Not likely - that's why there is still 10% of traffic remaining after doing this - all catalogues, packages and signatures are still checked with Microsoft - its only the binary blobs that are cached."

          Your faith in Microsoft is touching. Let me tell what is not likely : discovering a side-channel attack in a CPU caching process allowing to grab RAM data that should not have been available. It took 10 years, but the weakness was found.

          That was not likely.

          A Microsoft process distributing code to local network computers ? And you honestly think none of the computer wizards out there will find a way to subvert it ?

          Excuse me if I do not share your enthusiasm for the security of Redmond code.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: @AC

            "Your faith in Microsoft is touching"

            No, my faith is in SHA256 hashes.

            "A Microsoft process distributing code to local network computers ? And you honestly think none of the computer wizards out there will find a way to subvert it ?"

            Windows Update is already a process distributing code to local network computers. And yes I think that's highly unlikely. As stated above the distribution doesn't include anything used in the checking and validation process.

          2. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: @AC

            Strange. Side-channel attacks have been front and center for much of my life, even before TEMPEST came along. We pulled off a side-channel attack that, with a bit of social engineering thrown in, allowed us to sneak into range and sink a carrier in a US Navy war game. I expect new ones to be found on a fairly regular basis. That Meltdown and Specter exist is no surprise. It's all about information (energy) leakages and deriving intelligence from that.

            1. Michael Wojcik Silver badge

              Re: @AC

              That Meltdown and Specter exist is no surprise. It's all about information (energy) leakages and deriving intelligence from that.

              Correct. Anyone surprised by Spectre-class attacks does not understand side channels. Side channels are a necessary consequence of doing work in a physical computer. Some can be reduced, but only to a point. Some can be made harder to detect, for certain attack branches, but at an additional material cost. They can be whitened, but that requires additional time and energy.

              But the real point to make is that the demonstration of Spectre and Meltdown variants has very little to do with code signing, which is what's at issue here, except in the extremely broad senses of "complex systems are difficult to secure" and "security is not an absolute".

              Better to look at the actual problems, structurally and in specific examples, with code signing - particularly with the weakness of the public X.509 PKI and how it's employed for the software that can be distributed by Microsoft updates. Third-party drivers have been a particular source of trouble in the past.

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Thumb Down

          Re: "Peer-to-peer patch distribution over the LAN"

          'Twasn't that long ago that an update certificate leaked in public, not just done by the intelligence services. Sooo... you're taking your chances. Then again, you can't be exactly certain that updating from microsoft.com is going to be "The Real Thing."

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: "Peer-to-peer patch distribution over the LAN"

            "Twasn't that long ago that an update certificate leaked in public"

            Microsoft have never leaked an update cert. There was once a certificate error exploited by intelligence services as you mention, but never a leaked cert.

            1. Dan 55 Silver badge

              Re: "Peer-to-peer patch distribution over the LAN"

              Take your pick AC shill:

              Bungling Microsoft singlehandedly proves that golden backdoor keys are a terrible idea

              Microsoft leaked the golden keys that unlock Windows-powered tablets, phones and other devices sealed by Secure Boot – and is now scrambling to undo the blunder.

              Microsoft leaks Xboxlive SSL server cert

              In its advisory, Microsoft says the accidental disclosure of the cert's private keys could expose customers to man-in-the-middle attacks, although the cert “cannot be used to issue other certificates, impersonate other domains, or sign code”.

              Microsoft leaks TLS private key for cloud ERP product

              … and it was still in use for more than 100 days after the initial report

              But don't worry, your update cert is as safe as houses.

              1. Danny 14 Silver badge

                Re: "Peer-to-peer patch distribution over the LAN"

                i cant say ive ever had a problem with wsus. Sure every month i run a cleanup script but its worked well since, well, years.

              2. Anonymous Coward
                Anonymous Coward

                Re: "Peer-to-peer patch distribution over the LAN"

                "Take your pick AC shill:"

                None of which involve leaked update certs.

      2. ChrisBedford

        Re: "Peer-to-peer patch distribution over the LAN"

        There's nothing Redmond won't do to help hackers take over its OS.

        Now waiting for news that blackhats have found a 0-day and are plonking malware into the update system that gets distributed far and wide and auto-installed, courtesy of Microsoft's "bandwidth saving" measures.

        (1) Yes, and Linux is the saviour of the world and I have this lovely little bridge in Brooklyn I'm sure you'd be interested in

        (2) Conspiracy theory, anyone?

        For Pete's sake, don't be such a drama queen. I've worked extensively on OS X from Leopard to High Sierra, on a dozen different flavours of Linux, and every version of Windows since 3.0 and they *ALL* have issues of one sort or another. There *REALLY, REALLY* is nothing to choose between them for bugs, usability, malware security, or update integrity. They *ALL* have to have updates from time to time.

        It's unavoidable that the most popular of them is going to be the target of more malware attacks, and therefore have more patches. So what? It only happens once a month, and then after hours.

    5. Martin hepworth

      Re: "Peer-to-peer patch distribution over the LAN"

      Been around for ages - or just turn it off and let WSUS/SCCM do it anyway.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: "Peer-to-peer patch distribution over the LAN"

        I've have enabled it at home, for my PC and wife's laptop - dammed if I'm going to help out the neighbours!

        Anyway, despite enabling it some time ago and had a look, I've manged to save the grand total of 0.0GB....

  4. Oengus

    Update

    When you select Focus Assist, the stuff you don’t want to see disappears.

    So if I turn Focus Assist on Windows 10 will stop bugging me about updates...

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Update

      "So if I turn Focus Assist on Windows 10 will stop bugging me about updates..."

      That's already covered by active hours.

      1. Nolveys Silver badge
        Headmaster

        Re: Update

        "So if I turn Focus Assist on Windows 10 will stop bugging me about updates..."

        That's already covered by active hours.

        You're right, windows updates haven't been a problem for me since the windows update that made my computer crash on boot.

      2. JohnFen Silver badge

        Re: Update

        "That's already covered by active hours."

        Not well enough.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Update

          "Not well enough."

          It completely blocks updates during times you choose. What is "not well enough" with that?!

          1. JohnFen Silver badge

            Re: Update

            It doesn't completely block updates during the times that I choose. It block automatic rebooting. However, I frequently have to reboot my machine during the course of a workday and if an update is waiting, then it will install when I do so regardless of the hours I've set. And when that happens, I can write off the next few hours of my workday.

            What I really need is the ability to turn updates off completely for an indefinite period of time, so I can choose exactly when they will happen. I'd choose Friday at 5pm.

            1. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: Update

              "However, I frequently have to reboot my machine during the course of a workday and if an update is waiting, then it will install when I do so regardless of the hours I've set"

              Only if you choose restart and update. If you just choose restart then they wont install.

              1. JohnFen Silver badge

                Re: Update

                "If you just choose restart then they wont install."

                That's not been how it works for me so far. If this changes with the latest update, I'll be thrilled.

              2. Charles 9 Silver badge

                Re: Update

                "Only if you choose restart and update. If you just choose restart then they wont install."

                Restart BECOMES Restart and Update. Shut Down BECOMES Shut Down and Update. Once an update is installed, there's no way to avoid it short of a BSOD or cutting the piwer.

                1. Danny 14 Silver badge

                  Re: Update

                  if you have windows 10 enterprise (or education) you can set both update and install times via gpo. this works well for us with wsus.

                2. Anonymous Coward
                  Anonymous Coward

                  Re: Update

                  "Restart BECOMES Restart and Update. Shut Down BECOMES Shut Down and Update. Once an update is installed, there's no way to avoid it short of a BSOD or cutting the piwer."

                  Nope, this update is just the same as before, once preinstalled you get a menu of Sleep, Update and shut down, Shut down, Update and restart, Restart. Just checked on several PCs.

                  1. JohnFen Silver badge

                    Re: Update

                    Your systems behave very differently than mine, then. I wonder why?

      3. anonymous boring coward Silver badge

        Re: Update

        Active hours? Only hours that MS has decided can be active, can be active... Duhh..

    2. Dan 55 Silver badge

      Re: Update

      When you select Focus Assist, the stuff you don’t want to see disappears.

      So if I turn on Focus Assist, will Windows 10 completely uninstall itself, allowing me to install Linux or Hackintosh?

      1. technobot

        Re: Update

        This comment is so petty. Why did you even bother?

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Update

      When you select Focus Assist, the stuff you don’t want to see disappears.

      So if I turn Focus Assist on Windows 10 will stop bugging me about updates...

      only to get windows restarts by itself anyway since you hid the notification (remember GWX scheduled upgrades?).

  5. Baldrickk Silver badge
    WTF?

    Why 90%?

    90% surely applies only if you have 10 machines - I don't see how you could only download 10% of what you would otherwise without missing data.

    And how many home users have 10 machines? It's a good thing for people on metered connections, but that 90% seems unlikely for most households.

    But what if I have more than 10 machines? Am I only allowed to share updates with 9 other PCs, and then I need to download it again?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Why 90%?

      "90% surely applies only if you have 10 machines"

      It means the overall bandwidth of Windows updates can be reduced by 90%. There will still be traffic around catalogue checking, certificate checking, checksum checking, etc etc.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Why 90%?

        But if you had 100 PCs it would surely be 99% saving, a 1000 PCs 99.9% saving, so as it downloads to 1 PC and installs from that for a 90% saving, clearly you must have exactly 10 PCs. Exactly 10. If not, all of your PCS will be corrupted by bits of binary poo that are either too big or too small.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Why 90%?

          I take it you are presuming every one of those 1000 pc's are exactly identical, connecting to identical printers, running identical software, with identical peripherals, with identical patch revisions?

          1. jelabarre59 Silver badge

            Re: Why 90%?

            I take it you are presuming every one of those 1000 pc's are exactly identical, connecting to identical printers, running identical software, with identical peripherals, with identical patch revisions?

            Probably just presuming that MSWin10 downloads the same grossly bloated pile of dung for EVERY machine, regardless of whether it needs it or not.

        2. katrinab Silver badge

          Re: Why 90%?

          And how many 1000 PC deployments of Windows 10 are there? Over here, there are 50 PCs, and they are still on Windows 7.

          1. Danny 14 Silver badge

            Re: Why 90%?

            10 windows 10 machines? Merlin's beard, Tom! Isn't it bad enough to consider installing one windows 10 machine? To install windows on 10 maxhines... This is all hypothetical, isn't it, Tom? All academic?

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Ah cr@p

    My Windows 10 builds are being audited tomorrow..

    Well that'll be another fail then.

    1. Danny 14 Silver badge

      Re: Ah cr@p

      an audit expects you to install an untested major update? or do you mean you HAVE installed an untested update thus failing?

  7. Carl D

    Sitting back here with popcorn in hand waiting for my 6 monthly Windows 10 "entertainment extravaganza" to begin again.

    Posted from Linux Mint (in a dual boot with an air gapped - no Internet access allowed - Windows 7 which is updated as far as December 2017 and very rarely gets used these days).

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      I hate to point it out but "rarely gets used" still means you are a Windows user, which you clearly don't want to be. Additionally, letting any OS get out of date, especially Windows by that margin is relatively stupid.

      Not something I'd brag about personally.

      1. Carl D

        "Additionally, letting any OS get out of date, especially Windows by that margin is relatively stupid.

        Not something I'd brag about personally."

        Why?

        My Windows 7 has never had Internet access since I installed it. I have the activation file saved from when I used to use 7 online and I updated to December 2017 using the Simplix Pack which I downloaded last December (I trust the author of this pack more than I trust Microsoft these days).

        And, either by incompetence or design (I suspect design) every update from Microsoft for Windows 7 since the start of this Meltdown/Spectre BS at the beginning of the year has been a complete clusterf... (and they STILL can't get it right).

        With Linux Mint I have full protection against Meltdown and Spectre (despite the fact that there STILL isn't any malware related to these in the wild). And, again with MInt, no slowdown for my PC like there is with the Windows 7 patches (I also suspect this is by design).

        Keeping Windows 7 away from the Internet also ensures MS cannot mess with it with things like "accidentally" turning Windows Update on against the users' wishes (oops, sorry - we did it again *chuckle*).

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          "again with MInt, no slowdown for my PC"

          You're the kind who doesn't understand anything - you didn't understand where the Meltdown slowdowns may come from (it's a CPU thing, regardless of the OS used...), you install updates from unknown third parties... - but have unfettered faith in your Linux religion. People like you make IT dangerous.

          1. Carl D

            Re: "again with MInt, no slowdown for my PC"

            Really? Do I make IT dangerous?

            Funny how in the 16 years that I've been using the Internet I have NEVER had a single virus or malware issue.

            The main thing that makes IT dangerous these days is MIcrosoft and their "Swiss cheese" bug and security issue riddled excuse for operating systems.

            1. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: "again with MInt, no slowdown for my PC"

              Hahaha they've probably scoped you hundreds of times, and you never noticed.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        I hate to point it out but "rarely gets used" still means you are a Windows user, which you clearly don't want to be. Additionally, letting any OS get out of date, especially Windows by that margin is relatively stupid.

        Not something I'd brag about personally.

        I also hate to point it out but the "rarely gets used" looks to be a valid reason.

        No one updates a machine when they don't turn on and use it, especially with no internet. Functioning like any of your old VM archives, no one keeps updating all of their old VM when no one is using them. So if his/hers last updates date was also the last date used, then his/her "rarely gets used" reason looks valid.

        1. Carl D

          "I also hate to point it out but the "rarely gets used" looks to be a valid reason."

          Oh, but the PC does get used. Quite a lot. 95 percent of the time it runs Linux Mint.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      WTF?

      How did you post on an internet forum with an air gapped pc?

      1. Carl D

        "How did you post on an internet forum with an air gapped pc?"

        I have a dual boot with my main PC - Windows 7 and Linux Mint 18.3

        Windows 7 does not have Internet access (Network Adapter disabled in Control Panel). Everything online is done with Linux Mint.

        I also have a 12 year old HP laptop which is also running MInt 18.3 perfectly (posting with it right now). Last time I tried installing Windows 7 on it all I had were blue screens every 30 minutes or so after I updated it to April patch level. Funny about that.

        If I'm running my "No Internet Access Allowed" Windows 7 on my main PC I can go online with my laptop or Samsung tablet - or even my phone.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Turning off NIC != Air Gapped.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            "Turning off NIC != Air Gapped."

            It does if it's a wireless NIC.

        2. Chloe Cresswell

          Ahh, advances. I have a 5 year old HP i7 that does the same sort of thing. It's running mint atm too.

          1. Carl D

            Yep, and my 12 year old HP laptop used to run Windows 7 perfectly (and XP before it).

            Couldn't be something Microsoft is doing to sabotage Windows 7 by any chance? Nah, not our old buddy MS... such a pillar of virtue with outstanding performances like GWX, the eternal wait while scanning for Windows updates in Windows 7, followed by 8.1, changing the "X" to mean "go ahead and install Windows 10", blocking Windows Update for new processors with 7 and 8.1 and so on...

            Oh, and I'm running Windows 7 on Kaby Lake and it is fully up to date with Windows Updates - the Simplix author is kind enough to remove the processor blocking update(s) from his packs. Such a considerate gentleman he is.

            1. ChrisBedford

              Couldn't be something Microsoft is doing to sabotage Windows 7 by any chance? Nah, not our old buddy MS... [and so on, and so on]

              Hey buddy, we've all heard the anti-MS / pro Linux rants. B-o-o-o-o-ring. Wind your neck in and put a sock in it.

  8. VinceH Silver badge

    "Windows 10 is pretty stable these days, but we’re sure there’ll be a mess or two to uncover, too"

    I look forward to a slight increase in the amount I invoice during May, then - but not to the return to normal from June onwards.

  9. AndrueC Silver badge
    Facepalm

    Microsoft’s trying to excite end-users with a new feature called “Focus Assist” designed to help you “get things done without distractions,

    Does that mean they have finally (!) fixed focus stealing as well?

  10. Corwin_X

    It landed for some people last night UK time. I was round a mate's yesterday afternoon and wanted to show him something on the net. Fired up his PC early evening and got (paraphrasing) updating please don't switch off, etc. I knew what was going on so didn't bother actually reading the words. He told me the PC had been trying to do "whatever" since the previous day. Finally after a beer and a fag it finally fired up and there was a whole "Welcome to Windows Creator Update" marketing blurb before I could get to the desktop. Which I also naturally didn't read. All he was interested in when I explained was if Stardock Start 10 was still working. He nearly threw the PC out of the window when first introduced to the Win8/Win10 interface.;-)

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Thankfully, my Windows 7 Toughbook that isn't compatible with Windows 10, won't be getting that headache and I'm fine with that. My Windows 10 PC on the other hand, I will pray for.

  12. This post has been deleted by its author

  13. Stuart Castle

    "The idea behind Delivery Optimization is to let you download updates to one PC, once only, then have other PCs on your network grab those updates over your LAN. Microsoft claims “This significantly reduces bandwidth (by as much as 90 percent) and that results in a much better experience for everyone on the network.”

    I thought latter versions of Windows Update were supposed to do this anyway? With the increasing size of updates, I can see how this will help though.

    Regarding Focus Assist, I suspect that they've *ahem* borrowed that from macOS. macOS has, for a while, offered an optional "Full Screen" mode to application developers, who are free to offer it to the users. The app window is displayed, full screen (logically enough). The dock is removed. The menu bar can be removed, and if it is, leaving the mouse pointer near the top of the screen brings it back, temporarily.

    The reason I said Microsoft borrowed this function is they introduced support for it in Mac Office 2016 recently, and they called it, guess what? "Focus Assist"..

    Still, while it is handy, it sounds a little like we are going backwards... One of the selling points of Windows over Dos is that you were able to run multiple applications at once, and give them each a window.

  14. J J Carter Silver badge
    Linux

    Uh, oh!

    A dark shadow of great evil falls across the world as the 5 Horsemen of the Apocalypse ride out!

    That's right, Conquest, War, Famine, Death and Windows 10 April 2018 Update

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Joke

      Re: Uh, oh!

      "That's right, Conquest, War, Famine, Death and Windows 10 April 2018 Update"

      Yes, Ronnie Soak did get back with the old gang again. Windows 10 Chaos Edition would have the benefit of not falling foul of the Advertising Standards Authority at least.

      Microbots - it's a joke, see icon.

  15. Stuart Castle

    Maybe history does go in cycles.. First, we had big mainframes, which were also so expensive that very few companies could afford one, so bought time on someone else's, without being aware of what else was running on it. Then, we had PCs, which meant people could run their own software on their own machine. Then the PCs were networked, and eventually those networks started growing, requiring server rooms full of PCs. Then someone came up with the bright idea of selling off all their server PCs, and hiring time on someone's else's PCs, where we have little idea of what is running apart from our own systems, and they called it Cloud Computing.

    When PCs first run DOS, it could run one application, then someone discovered that making a small utility a Terminate and Stay Resident program could enable one to switch into it even while running another application, which is a very limited form of multi tasking. Then, we got Windows (and OS/2), which ultimately allowed full multitasking, and allowed the user to run multiple programs at a time, all on one screen. Now, we get "Focus Assist", a system that reduces the output from background applications, and allows us to go back to running one application, that takes the whole screen.

  16. deconstructionist

    I only want to know one thing

    How do I turn it all off.

    1. Mage Silver badge

      Re: I only want to know one thing

      "How do I turn it all off."

      Use the Start Menu to end it. Select Shut Down.

      Then go to BIOS at next power on and make sure USB boot enabled, and possibly UEFI only.

      Then install Windows 7 or Linux Mint with Mate Desktop and TraditionalOK theme (or maybe "Hackintosh" if outside USA jurisdiction and you've bought a retail OS X).

    2. VinceH Silver badge
      Joke

      Re: I only want to know one thing

      I think John McAfee's solution for uninstalling McAfee antivirus works for Windows 10 as well.

  17. adam payne Silver badge

    A new feature called “Timeline” won’t be far behind, as it sorts your activities on an – erm – timeline and makes them searchable. The idea here is that if you know you started drafting an awesome news tip for The Register on Tuesday morning, it’ll be on the Timeline instead of you having to go into your email client and look in the drafts folder. Or use desktop search.

    Hmmm...more data slurp?

    1. MartyOhr

      Isn't 'timeline' just Office Journal from days of old

      About a hundred years ago (well 2006) Microsoft snuck a feature into the Office suite to ruin your pc called Office Journal. It kept a timeline of activity; kind of. It was largely useless and almost no one used it. On our pcs at work it used up loads of memory and cpu and made somethings really slow. Most enterprises disabled it in group policy to stop constant helpdesk calls.

      I never understood who would use it, it's pretty easy to search your email or folder structure to find stuff. Although I'm always amazed when on a screen share at how long it takes people to find the file or email they want to share. The people with the overly organised folder structures being by far the worst. I use my mac all day long, I just accept the default path for anything I'm saving; nothing ever goes missing, I can lay my hands on a document or a photo just as quickly as I need to.

      1. Terry 6 Silver badge

        Re: Isn't 'timeline' just Office Journal from days of old

        I really found Journal useful. It was brilliant when someone came to me unable to find the file they'd written which they'd say was about "you know that (subject) a couple of months ago. I can't remember the name. Or where I saved it".

        And believe me, it did happen. and save a lot of problems.

    2. Mage Silver badge

      started drafting an awesome news tip for The Register on Tuesday morning

      XP, without search update toys, had a decent search that worked by date and/or file type. You didn't need to have the stupid animated dog or Windows Indexing for it to be quite quick.

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    'Focus Assist'

    or 'logging off' as it was called before MS 'invented' it.

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I'll let the early birds do additional beta testing.

    Meanwhile, I'll pass.

  20. anonymous boring coward Silver badge

    Bit late to call it April update, no?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      "Bit late to call it April update, no?"

      No. It's still April.

      1. Terry 6 Silver badge

        April update. That's another worry. I can just see some executive pouring on the pressure to get the thing out while it's still April. And we know where that leads, don't we.

        1. keith_w

          "April update. That's another worry. I can just see some executive pouring on the pressure to get the thing out while it's still April. And we know where that leads, don't we."

          A BOFH post?

      2. georgezilla Bronze badge

        Depends on which side of the Dale Line you live on.

        For me, at the time I wrote this, it still is April for about 8 3/4 hours.

      3. ChrisBedford

        "Bit late to call it April update, no?"

        No. It's still April.

        Aah but it's the "1803" version. Definitely a bit late for that nomenclature.

  21. jonathan keith

    Damn it!

    No availability here yet. I just want to get the pain over with as soon as possible. Like pulling a plaster off.

  22. js6898

    No availability yet - the Microsoft ISO download page still shows Fall Creator's Update

    https://www.microsoft.com/en-gb/software-download/windows10

  23. BGatez Bronze badge

    Windows 10 - if you must

    Best to avoid entirely, using the open source patch to install 7 on new processors. If you must then Enterprise LTSB else you have to root out Edge, Cortana, the MS Store and the nearly impossible to eliminate telemetry among other rubbish.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Windows 10 - if you must

      >>If you must then Enterprise LTSB else you have to root out Edge, Cortana, the MS Stowe

      I would imagine most people dont have access to LTSB outside of enterprises. And if you are in an enterprise you definitely don't want to be using LTSB - Its not for standard desktops.

      Removing Cortana and the Store is but a single Powershell command each. No way you want to remove Edge though. It's the fastest browser and ideal for enterprises. Especially as it can automatically switch to IE for legacy sites when needed.

  24. Barry Rueger

    Bracing myself...

    ... for a week of my wife complaining bitterly about whatever gets broken or lost.

    Only last week several start menu items started appearing in Slovak instead of English, and running in that language too. Apparently she had briefly enabled a different keyboard in order to properly type a composer's name, and Microsoft took it upon themselves to start translating the whole computer.

    God, I do not miss Windows

  25. JohnFen Silver badge

    I loathe update days

    They almost always end up costing me hours of my workday, and I still can't effectively postpone them to a time that isn't disruptive.

    I hate Windows updates so very much.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: I loathe update days

      "They almost always end up costing me hours of my workday, and I still can't effectively postpone them to a time that isn't disruptive."

      Update to Windows 10 then its simple to set times when Windows wont install updates, and to postpone them when offered.

      1. JohnFen Silver badge

        Re: I loathe update days

        I am running Windows 10 at work. The controls for when updates get installed are not adequate, and aren't able to prevent updates from happening when I reboot.

  26. IGnatius T Foobar

    Where is the Cortana-free version?

    I am looking for the version that doesn't have Cortana in it. Where can I get that one?

    1. jelabarre59 Silver badge

      Re: Where is the Cortana-free version?

      I am looking for the version that doesn't have Cortana in it. Where can I get that one?

      Art: https://www.reactos.org/

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Where is the Cortana-free version?

      I've never enabled Cortana and it's still not enabled/showing in 1803 (inherited the settings from prev), as long as you don't enable it during in the privacy checkup during installation, where you're offered to enable it and again afterward.

      I think to now avoid Cortana it needs to be disabled beforehand from a previous version I think, Anniversary Update 1607 (from memory), could be 1511.

      Possible registry hack/Group Policy setting too, might be a route to try.

  27. Adam Jarvis

    Inquisitive Guinea Pigs - 1803 update is installing immediately from day 1. Set defer updates.

    As title, if you check for updates, this feature update 1803 downloads and installs immediately.

    (Trust me for being an Inquisitive Guinea Pig).

    Luckily I have an image of my machine, but boy, I don't need this right now.

    Just checking for updates will install it on day 1. This is going to end in tears for Microsoft.

    1. Adam Jarvis

      Re: Inquisitive Guinea Pigs - 1803 update is installing immediately from day 1. Set defer updates.

      Update: 05/05/2018

      I said it would end in tears and IT DID.

      Freezing graphics / Freezing Chrome / Cortana...

      Logging out from Start Menu Profile Icon, displays the wrong wallpaper for the lock screen {facepalm}. This is basic stuff to check.

  28. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Focus assist

    Sounds good. Can I keep it permanently on? This will surely then stop all the windows 10 distraction like cortana and candy crush cruft..

  29. phands

    It's still windoze 10....still complete garbage. I gave up on windoze completely with w10: put Linux on my Lenovo Yoga 910...now it actually works.

  30. YARR
    Go

    Glad to see elReg is on the ball and didn't call this the "Spring Creators Update" like many other tech publications. The spring "Creators Update" was last year (1703). That said, they should think of a better name for this one. How about the "May 2018 Creators Update"?

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Windows_10_version_history#Version_1703_(Creators_Update)

  31. Terry 6 Silver badge

    And in this version

    They still haven't fixed the f*cking bug that means a custom recycle bin icon doesn't change on deleting/emptying until you manually add ,0 to the entries in the registry. Stupid bunch of useless w*nkers.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: And in this version

      You are allowed to spell out the naughty words in full on The Register, you know. Even people who feel the need to have a custom recycle bin are allowed to do that.

      1. Terry 6 Silver badge

        Re: And in this version

        But most of us don't. It's a matter of choice. Like not wanting that rather dull recycle bin.Or preferring it to work properly without a registry edit or three.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: And in this version

      "They still haven't fixed the f*cking bug that means a custom recycle bin icon doesn't change on deleting/emptying until you manually add ,0 to the entries in the registry"

      And how many votes did that issue get to be fixed?

      1. Terry 6 Silver badge

        Re: And in this version

        You need a vote to fix something that's broken? It's broken. It needs to be fixed.

  32. Mad Hobbit

    waiting

    have my win 10 machine down, using win 7 waiting to see if their are any OOPS from the upgrade

  33. Anonymous Coward
    Windows

    Microsoft whislist

    Well that LAN update ticked one off my list.

    Here are some more for standalone PC's, Check if the FEATURE is uninstalled/not installed and don't provide an update that then fails as a result. So admins don't waste time with many follow ups to see if it's needed.

    Don't provide updates that fail due to inappropriateness - such as a 'Surface' updates to another brand and different device i.e. a PC.

    Show update dependencies in an inset nodal list so an admin can see a list of those updates they need immediately.

    Provide an app that can look at the cache of updates and update from it the ones they need. not be served with everything.

  34. ChrisBedford

    1. It landed. One of several PCs I was working on last night started downloading it

    2. Delivery Optimisation has been around for years. I have no idea how it is being touted as something new.

  35. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    This Timeline feature sounds a bit like the old Journal feature that used to be in Outlook.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Switched it off in settings, so I'll never know.

  36. Jude Bradley

    "seems" to have worked fine for me so far. Just be careful where you agree to give all your data to M$ at the startup screens.

  37. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Feature Update 1803 - a bit clunky installing, no show stoppers I can see yet.

    The 1803 update was a bit clunky, failed the first time, but on reboot, then prompted with a Privacy dialog to set Cortana etc, before re-downloading the full feature 1803 update a second time, and installing. A sort of pre-installation "Privacy checkup" by the looks of it (to get you to enable Cortana).

    Still seems as wasteful as ever in terms of downloading excess data, when things fail, (let's mention the elephant in the room, how wasteful the media creation ISO tool is in this regard when it fails, multiple GBs of downloaded data gets deleted, to start from the beginning all again). The media creation tool can require upto 18GB of free space too.

    After installing check Privacy settings relating to Contacts, Outlook and Mail (check everything really), these have been enabled where previously they were off. There are some annoying toggles that you have have to click into to change now, not a good move.

    I was also asked twice to re-enable Cortana (before installation and after), i.e. please, please re-enable Cortana.

    No, because I can never switch you off again, Cortana.

    I suppose it's a sign that Joe Belfiore is back at MS. {facepalm}.

  38. Bill_Sticker
    FAIL

    Sometimes the fun never starts...

    Oh goody, another glitch heavy update which will add more 'features' and do nothing to fix the wireless keyboard and mouse bugs the last two 'updates' brought with them.

  39. sdjones2001

    My PC survived the upgrade, but it took a long time to complete

    Being a brave soul I opted to take the update straight away and will admit to having a twinge of regret as the upgrade process began with a lengthy period of black screen avec mouse pointer. After an eternity (probably less than 5 minutes) the show got underway. I gave up counting after 5 reboots, but to be fair to Microsoft the percentage meter kept going up each time. Roughly an hour from kick-off I sat with baited breath as I waited for the final restart and... was able to login.

    It's odd that a clean install of this build is touted as 30 minutes duration - apparently half the time of an upgrade.

    I have a home-built PC put together with components from various sources, so expect a few gremlins; notable past examples included gaming performance and erratic restarts in earlier builds.

  40. crap

    It has arrived in Canada!

  41. Mr Larrington
    Coffee/keyboard

    What is...

    ...this "Windows" key of which they speak?

    Yes, yes, serves me right for using an IBM Model M older than most Microsith employees.

  42. anonymous boring coward Silver badge

    I was just going to quickly start my son's Win 10 PC to check something.

    The update started immediately with the effing annoying "friendly" messages. It took a few hours.

    So much for quickly checking something.

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