back to article Javid's in, Rudd's out: UK Home Sec quits over immigration targets scandal

Amber Rudd threw in the towel late last night and resigned as Home Secretary over her mishandling of an immigration scandal. Rudd, who scraped through the 2017 general election with a majority of just 346 votes from more than 52,000 cast, quit at 10pm on Sunday night after political pressure mounted over targets set for the …

  1. Simon Ward

    Diversity in action ...

    As in, the more you look at it, diverse it gets ....

    I'll give him 6 months.

    1. Loyal Commenter Silver badge

      Re: Diversity in action ...

      I'll give him 6 months.

      Assuming May lasts that long and we don't have another General Election first.

      1. sanmigueelbeer Silver badge

        Re: Diversity in action ...

        we don't have another General Election first

        Not if Putin can help it.

        He seems to be competent in business and educated

        I presume someone has "vetted" his pedigree, right?

        1. TRT Silver badge

          Re: Diversity in action ...

          The first BAME home secretary. Great. As a middle-aged, white male I can now look forwards to being stopped and searched at least once a week. "I'm stopping you under the The Police and Criminal Evidence Act 1984 (PACE) and asking that you submit to a search, as I suspect you are carrying an offensive lunch box with intent to commit a criminal act."

          Well, I guess what goes around...

        2. wolfetone Silver badge

          Re: Diversity in action ...

          "Not if Putin can help it."

          Because the man who has full control over the gas supplied to the UK would rather set up a few fake Twitter accounts to really hurt the UK?

          Glue sniffing is neither fun nor clever. So stop.

          1. AMBxx Silver badge
            FAIL

            Re: Diversity in action ...

            You need to check your facts. We import gas from all over, very littel from Russia. It's the rest of Europe that has a gas problem.

            1. Voland's right hand Silver badge

              Re: Diversity in action ...

              You need to check your facts. We import gas from all over, very littel from Russia. It's the rest of Europe that has a gas problem.

              You need to check how European gas grid functions. As a result of the consent decrees on Gasprom concluding the resolution of the investigation of the European Union commission into its commercial practices gas in the grid no longer has a nationality.

              While the decision was specifically geared towards Gasprom and its commercial practices which disallowed gas to be resold it applies to ALL grid contributors including France, Norway, Iran/Azeri and UK inclusive of its LNG imports.

              So any time UK pulls a cubic meter from the grid there is no guarantee that it is in fact Norwegian, Azeri or in fact Russian. Similarly, if UK ever puts a cubic meter back into the grid (something not likely to happen), nobody asks if it is Qatari via the Welch LNG terminal, Norwegian or something the Scots have scrapped off the bottom of the barrel, err gas field.

              Coming back to UK and Russian gas - if the Norwegian interconnects are having issues (as they had this winter) and UK is pulling gas from the Belgium or Holland gas interconnectors it may (and in fact probably is) Russian gas.

              1. iron Silver badge

                @Voland's right hand Re: Diversity in action ...

                And you need to shut the fuck up on a subject you clearly know nothing about.

                "or something the Scots have scrapped off the bottom of the barrel"

                The gas basin is in the Southern North Sea, off the coast of the home counties, the Scottish parts of the North Sea contain mostly oil. There is a lot of gas still in the gas basin and also the Irish Sea off the coast of Morecambe. If the UK government could manage a stable tax regime for more than 5 minutes the oil & gas companies could build / repair the infrastructure to provide most if not all of the UK's gas requirements.

            2. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: very little gas from Russia?

              I thought it's about 1/3 of the total UK gas import, no?

              1. DCFusor Silver badge

                Re: very little gas from Russia?

                Things like gas are pretty fungible so it doesn't matter as much as one might think.

                If supply is cut to your neighbors, you've suddenly picked up new competitors for what was "your" supply anyway.

                Or if say, Venezuela says they won't sell crude to the US anymore but has to sell - an intermediary just pops up to buy it from them and sell it to the US - which has the only economical refineries for that not-so-fungible (or easy to ship) tar they call crude.

                Anything else is magical thinking, like believing a politician when they say they're going to pick those other people's pockets to buy your vote. There effectively are no other people available...all who can be stripped have been already.

            3. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: Diversity in action ...

              I sometimes wonder if our lovely silver badged forum college is actually a Russian agent, they keep spouting this nonsense about us not being reliant on Russian gas.

              1. Anonymous Coward
                Anonymous Coward

                Re: Diversity in action ...

                Which one? You'll have to be more specific... (the others are Chinese spies dontcha know?)

            4. Wensleydale Cheese Silver badge
              Happy

              Gas problem

              "It's the rest of Europe that has a gas problem."

              Sauerkraut does have that effect, yes.

          2. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge

            Re: Diversity in action ...

            Not if Putin can help it.

            Putin has already personally set up more than 9000 tweets to deliver the necessary hashtags.

            Putination within 16 hours. You have no way to survive, make your time.

        3. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Not if Putin can help it

          He'll make it happen only when he can get his pal Jeremy C into No 10 by any means possible.

          Until then this government are dead men and women walking.

          1. Aladdin Sane Silver badge
            Trollface

            Re: Jeremy C

            We've already got Hammond and May, why not Clarkson?

            1. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: Jeremy C

              "We've already got Hammond and May, why not Clarkson?"

              Because that unholy trinity coming into being would bring about the End Times or something.

              Either that or it'd just make us *wish* it did.

              1. Anonymous Coward
                Anonymous Coward

                Re: Jeremy C

                "Because that unholy trinity coming into being would bring about the End Times or something."

                .... and on that bombshell - good bye

              2. I&I

                Re: Jeremy C

                Stig being the fourth...

            2. eldakka Silver badge

              Re: Jeremy C

              > We've already got Hammond and May, why not Clarkson?

              I support this. At least the cabinet would be intentionally making jokes, instead of unintentionally being jokes.

      2. John Smith 19 Gold badge
        Unhappy

        "Assuming May lasts that long and we don't have another General Election first."

        Of course she will.

        She's got the support of that nice Mrs Foster of the DUP, and her other 9 stout hearted Ulstermen. *

        Besides, JRM hasn't put the finishing touches to the warrant for "Crimes Against Brexit" and you can't whip up a PCP lynch mob over night. You have to convince the fence sitters that she's friendless before you can move in for the kill en masse.**

        *WTF you do, don't call them Irish. **Apologies to Leave voters for talking foreign.

        1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

          Re: "Assuming May lasts that long and we don't have another General Election first."

          "She's got the support of that nice Mrs Foster of the DUP, and her other 9 stout hearted Ulstermen."

          For as long as it lasts. She's made contradictory promises on the Irish border question. At some point she's going to have to resolve that one way or another. If the DUP don't like the choice she has to make then the No 10 gardeners had better start planting fruit bushes so Corbyn will have something to make jam with.

          1. Rich 11 Silver badge

            Re: "Assuming May lasts that long and we don't have another General Election first."

            If the DUP don't like the choice she has to make then the No 10 gardeners had better start planting fruit bushes so Corbyn will have something to make jam with.

            Don't knock jam-making so readily. We're going to need all the jam we can produce to ensure the nation will thrive in the sunny uplands of post-Brexit international trade. Onward, makers and sellers, onward!

            1. desht

              Re: "Assuming May lasts that long and we don't have another General Election first."

              Don't worry, we'll have some truly epic jams around Dover soon enough.

            2. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: "Assuming May lasts that long and we don't have another General Election first."

              Absolutely. It's always jam tomorrow, whoever's doing the promising.

      3. Sgt_Oddball Silver badge
        Windows

        Re: Diversity in action ...

        Can't be that long... summers coming up and I'm sure there's a hill for her to call another one from the top of.

    2. Voland's right hand Silver badge

      Re: Diversity in action ...

      I'll give him 6 months.

      At the core is the previous Home Secretary policy, so this will change nothing.

      That policy remains unchanged. On all counts - pervasive surveillance, encryption backdoors, removal of rights as we see fit and anything and everything applicable along the same lines.

      1. 0laf Silver badge

        Re: Diversity in action ...

        "At the core is the previous Home Secretary policy, so this will change nothing."

        Unfortunately I think you're right on the money with that.

        The authoritarian micromanagement of May will continue.

      2. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

        Re: Diversity in action ...

        "At the core is the previous Home Secretary policy, so this will change nothing."

        It's not previous Home Secretary policy. It's standard Home Office policy. Home Secs come and go, the Home Office just goes on.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Diversity in action ...

      I find it a bit ironic that we now have a foreigner as home secretary. Oh well, got to be better than Rudd.

      1. TRT Silver badge

        Re: a foreigner as home secretary...

        Bloody Rochdalers. Coming down/up/over here taking our jobs...

        1. Milk and Cookies

          Re: a foreigner as home secretary...

          Better down there than making their way over t'A627M to steal all us Ow'demers jobs.

          1. TRT Silver badge

            Re: all us Ow'demers jobs....

            Didn't know you had any! ;-)

        2. Cederic

          Re: a foreigner as home secretary...

          For what it's worth, delighted to see the upvoting on your comment and the downvoting on the one to which you replied.

          Such a lovely change from the idiocy elsewhere on the interwebnets.

      2. Arthur the cat Silver badge

        Re: Diversity in action ...

        I find it a bit ironic that we now have a foreigner as home secretary.

        Sajid Javid was born in Rochdale, Boris Johnson was born in New York, so we've got a Home Secretary born in the UK and a Foreign Secretary born abroad. Sadly Philip Hammond wasn't born in a bank.

        Oh well, got to be better than Rudd.

        A dead hamster would be better than Rudd.

        1. This post has been deleted by a moderator

        2. TRT Silver badge

          Re: A dead hamster would be better than Rudd.

          Wrapped it sellotape, it would be infinitely more effable.

          1. Jack of Shadows Silver badge
            WTF?

            Re: A dead hamster would be better than Rudd.

            If I recall correctly, where hamsters are involved duct tape is the order of the day. I'm a bit fuzzy on this as I never dared to look at the contents of the particular newsgroup involved.

        3. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

          Re: Diversity in action ...

          Oh well, got to be better than Rudd.

          Give him 6months and he will be invading Yorkshire

        4. Nick Kew Silver badge
          Stop

          @Arthur

          A dead hamster would be better than Rudd.

          That's TMI about your diet!

          1. I&I

            Re: @Arthur

            (But Long Live Richard)

    4. katrinab Silver badge

      Re: Diversity in action ...

      May was by far the longest serving Home Secretary in recent history, and I think the 2nd longest serving since Home Secretaries became a thing. They usually last about a year regardless of whether they are from the Blue, Red or Yellow parties.

      1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

        Re: Diversity in action ...

        "They usually last about a year regardless of whether they are from the Blue, Red or Yellow parties."

        The HO manages to shed those it can't house-train. Those who are house-trained are usually suspected by the PM. In Rudd's case the last didn't apply as the PM is also a house-trained Home Sec.

    5. Tinslave_the_Barelegged Silver badge

      Re: Diversity in action ...

      > I'll give him 6 months.

      Like all the recent (30 years)Home Secretaries before him, he'll be radicalised within 6 hours, and normal Home Office extremist service will resume. I wonder which Sir Humphrey at the HO is in charge with the blackmail dossiers on potential Home Secretaries.

  2. }{amis}{ Silver badge
    FAIL

    Rudd

    You and your career will not be missed, but sadly given the average competence level of a British MP is just slightly above an amoeba, I can't see your replacement being much better.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Rudd

      I can't see your replacement being much better.

      Be grateful It could have been SO MUCH WORSE. There was press chatter that the disgusting little wrecker Smeagol Gove was considered for the post. The sooner DEFRA can spare some marksmen to have Gove "humanely destroyed" the better, but I suppose as he's got that portfolio we might have to wait a while.

      1. BebopWeBop Silver badge

        Re: Rudd

        Well BSE is already ravaging him - so maybe not too long.

      2. Conyn Curmudgeon
        Thumb Up

        Re: Rudd

        "disgusting little wrecker Smeagol Gove" has made my morning brighter. Thanks for that

        1. TRT Silver badge

          Re: Rudd

          Smeagol Gove?

          I thought of him more as a P. O. B. Pob.

          1. Loyal Commenter Silver badge

            Re: Rudd

            I thought the epithet for him was "slithy Gove"? (with apologies to Lewis Carroll)

      3. Jemma Silver badge

        Re: Rudd

        The horrible image that brings up is who or what is his "precious". I wouldn't bend over too often Theresa if I were you..

        "One Ringpiece to bring them all,

        And in the darkness bind them"

        Still even that's better than Gove doing the "pervy hobbit fancier" thing, although Sam'll kill him if he tries anything..

        1. Jemma Silver badge

          Re: Rudd

          And to ride the analogy until it falls apart we've even got a "still not king" guy (Aragorn) - although for some reason he goes by Charles these days..

          Lotr secret diaries - very worth a visit.

          Incidentally I can't say as I'd pick Louis Arthur Charles as auspicious names for royal spawn.

          Louis : Louis "da boom" Mountbatten

          Louis "the decapitated" (French revolution)

          Louis the Fat

          Arthur Arthur (the dead and probably imaginary) Pendragon

          Arthur (the dead cos I went swimming in an open sewer (the Thames) Tudor

          Charles: Charles I Stuart (decapitated)

          Charles II Stuart (mercury poisoning - possible syphilis)

          Charles III Stuart (drank himself to death, another still not king guy)

          Charles the fat/bald/simple (holy Roman emperors)

          Charles V Habsburg "the inbred" (see above)

          And finally our own Charles the Irrelevant.

          Not exactly auspicious stars for that collection of names.

      4. John Smith 19 Gold badge
        Coat

        "the disgusting little wrecker Smeagol Gove was considered for the post. "

        Don't be shy.

        Tell us how you really feel.

      5. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: have Gove "humanely destroyed"

        these days, you'd better be careful, our overseers' think-of-the-children bots may mis-take your sarcasm, given the key words...

      6. Nick Kew Silver badge

        Re: Gove

        @Ledswinger - I was half-hoping Gollum would get the job[1].

        Of course it's the kind of half-hope one might very well come to regret, but the context is a department that's long been dysfunctional.

        If anyone could stand up to the department's Humphrey and bring change, Gollum's a strong candidate. And if he fails and becomes the latest victim, no tears shed over that.

        BTW, could May's long survival there be because, as top *woman* in the Cameron team, she was essentially above serious criticism? Of course that didn't apply to Rudd, and no longer applies to May 'cos if she gets booted from the PM job her successor gets a clean slate. She survives now 'cos Boris's wet dream is to take over at the bottom of the brexit crisis and be seen to lead recovery, which needs May to take the blame.

        [1] Not a reaction to your usage: search the Reg archives and I've called him that here before.

    2. cyberdemon
      Devil

      Re: Rudd: You've been played

      Lack of what a normal person would call competence, is a specific job requirement for the vast majority of our MPs, it seems.

      As I see it, there are two types of British Politician / Civil Servant:

      * The Visionary: Highly intelligent (more than they appear), often deceitful, scheming. There is only room for a handful of these, as they tend to conflict. Mrs. May falls into this category.

      * The Lackey: Acts as a sock-puppet / attack-dog for a Visionary. Independent thought is an undesirable quality. Amber Rudd is so far along this end of the spectrum that she was prepared to throw herself under the bus to save her mistress..

      Mrs. May is the most deceitful / malign 'Visionary' I have ever known in British Politics. I strongly suspect that during the Brexit referendum, the only reason that May backed 'Remain' was so that she could poison the campaign from the inside. Nobody liked her anyway, so they would vote against her.

      It's the only thing that makes sense given her actions: Even before a Brexit referendum was even on the cards, as Home Secretary Theresa May was trying to bring us out of the European Convention on Human Rights, drafting the Investigatory Powers Act (aka Snooper's Charter) which I'm sure she knew full well was illegal under EU law, and fighting against the ECHR for powers to lock people up indefinitely without charge, which she conceded to 90 days, but was defeated and tried again with 28 days..

      What I don't understand, is why the Pundits seem to think Rudd's departure is a blow for the pro-EU lobby.. If Amber Rudd truly held pro-EU beliefs, maybe she has finally realised that she has been played by Mrs. May?

      1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

        Re: Rudd: You've been played

        the only reason that May backed 'Remain' was so that she could poison the campaign from the inside

        The only reason she (claimed to have) voted remain was that her boss was for remain and with the assumption that remain would win, any cabinet minister that voted against it would have to start their own party to get back into government

      2. Steve the Cynic Silver badge

        Re: Rudd: You've been played

        As I see it, there are two types of British Politician / Civil Servant:

        I mean this not as snark or sarcasm, but as genuine curiosity: where on that spectrum would you place:

        * Margaret Thatcher

        * Tony Blair

        * David Cameron

        * John Major

        * James Callaghan

        * Harold Wilson

        * Edward Heath

        1. WolfFan Silver badge

          Re: Rudd: You've been played

          As I see it, there are two types of British Politician / Civil Servant:

          I mean this not as snark or sarcasm, but as genuine curiosity: where on that spectrum would you place:

          * Margaret Thatcher

          Visionary. Second only to Mayhem

          * Tony Blair

          Lackey

          * David Cameron

          Lackey

          * John Major

          Lackey of all Lackeys, the Lackey to which lesser Lackeys aspire.

          * James Callaghan

          Lackey. Second only to John Minor... um, 'Major'.

          * Harold Wilson

          Lackey. Behind Sunny Jim.

          * Edward Heath

          There is no Edward Heath and we'll thank you to never mention that name ever again.

          1. Jemma Silver badge

            Re: Rudd: You've been played

            It's lucky no one's found a Ted Heath memoir ala Flashman..

            Working title would be: I, Kiddiefiddler.

            Try selling *that* to Penguin Classics.

            Odd that the bloke who put us into the EU (for which we are forever grateful) has suddenly been whitewashed (or something white at least) from history..

            Or possibly not.

            If there is a hell he's probably famous down there - f*cked kids *and* an entire country and got away with both. Just think - if the police had arrested him in 81 we wouldn't have had The Permed Avenger & Underpants Boy - so probably no Bliar.. No Brown, Cameron and May.. The UK would be a very different place. Especially Rochdale.

          2. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

            Re: Rudd: You've been played

            John Major

            Lackey of all Lackeys, the Lackey to which lesser Lackeys aspire.

            Making John Major PM was just trolling the writers of Yes Minister

  3. Noonoot

    Hitting those notorious targets of illegal immigrants

    Concerning the hitting of targets which keeps circulating all the papers, has anyone actually paid thought to the fact that to be able to hit those targets, you need to have the numbers of (illegal?) immigrants.

    So, that means the H.O knows how many (illegal) immigrants it has actually allowed to enter the country. Or is that number reached because you just happen to throw in some innocent citizens who you know will have lost their paperwork from eons before?

    What a joke.

    1. JimmyPage Silver badge
      Stop

      Re:to hit those targets, you need to have the numbers of (illegal?) immigrants.

      Same with rape conviction "targets" .....

    2. Lotaresco

      Re: Hitting those notorious targets of illegal immigrants

      "So, that means the H.O knows how many (illegal) immigrants it has actually allowed to enter the country."

      No it doesn't. The setting of targets by ministers is unrelated to the ability of the civil servants to do the job and certainly takes no account of the possibility that any given department can meet those targets. A target is just something plucked from the air and then used as a stick to beat senior civil servants who do what they have always done, cascade the misery downwards until the problem becomes one for some under-educated under-achiever in some miserable, dank office hundreds of miles from London.

      In the case of Home Office targets it will work like this, the Minister sets a target for removal of "immigrants" from the UK. The Minister hopes that this will mean that thousands of people who entered the country illegally will be removed. However the Minister is also careful not to specify that the "immigrants" are proved to be in the country illegally, they leave the definition of an illegal immigrant up to the department.

      The department has not a chance of getting this right. It has no data to turn to that will tell it who entered the country illegally because they entered the country illegally and didn't fill in a form saying that they were illegal. It would be far too difficult to go looking for these people, so the department does not bother. What they do is to trawl through all the nice people who in all innocence engage with authority. People applying for a passport, driving licence, NHS treatment, pensioners etc. Then the department demands impossible levels of proof before accepting that someone is legally resident. They refuse to accept documents such as decades of tax payments, school records, mortgage, utility bills etc as proff of residence. They refuse to accept legally issued birth certificates unless, say, the person has the original signed-in-blood birth certificate issued at the moment of birth and handed to someone else who lost it. If they can't comply throw them on an aeroplane to some place they have never seen before then forget about the problem. It's just another step towards that 12,500 a year target.

      It's always far easier to use bureaucracy to make life miserable for decent people than it is to find people who have actual criminal intent. There's not even an attempt to find out what the contribution of an individual to the UK is. So we end up throwing out doctors, nurses, teachers, grandmothers, kindergarten assistants (etc.) and letting the drug dealers, pimps and ladies of negotiable value stay.

      1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

        Re: Hitting those notorious targets of illegal immigrants

        " letting the ... ladies of negotiable value stay."

        Maybe that's the value of negotiation.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Hitting those notorious targets of illegal immigrants

      Perhaps the only sort of illegal immigrant target it might be reasonable to have would be along the lines of "Here's a list of N people who have exhausted all appeals, have no right to remain in the UK, and have somewhere to be deported to. Please make sure you deport at least M of them a month (assuming their status doesn't change)."

      On the other hand, a simple "Make sure you deport M people a month", clearly isn't. You wouldn't want numerical targets to determine N, for example, but you might have "process (progress) at least X cases a week towards a final determination of status".

      1. james_smith

        Re: Hitting those notorious targets of illegal immigrants

        "On the other hand, a simple "Make sure you deport M people a month", clearly isn't."

        Yup, straight out of the Jo Stalin guide to setting targets.

  4. Anonymous Noel Coward
    Big Brother

    So who's Javid?

    How much of an authoritarian whackjob is he compared to Amber "Hashtags" Rudd?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: So who's Javid?

      Pretty much identical. Hate's human rights, loves surveillance, like to keep the poor poor and the rich rich.

      A career blue through and through.

      If you want a male version of May, you've got one.

    2. Paul Crawford Silver badge

      Re: So who's Javid?

      Well its hardly an authoritative analysis, but taking a look at the wikipedia page about him suggests he can't be any worse than Rudd. He seems to be competent in business and educated, and in fact he has in the past opposed some of the more stupid suggestions in the name of anti-terrorism, so a little better than most Torys.

      How well his integrity lasts in the data fetishist's tower of the Home Office remains to be seen.

      1. Simon Ward

        Re: So who's Javid?

        How well his integrity lasts in the data fetishist's tower of the Home Office remains to be seen.

        You're assuming that he had any integrity to begin with ... all the signs are that he won't have a lot to lose.

      2. Dan 55 Silver badge

        Re: So who's Javid?

        Well its hardly an authoritative analysis, but taking a look at the wikipedia page about him suggests he can't be any worse than Rudd.

        Ask the Grenfell survivors who still haven't been given fixed housing yet.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: So who's Javid?

          Ask the Grenfell survivors who still haven't been given fixed housing yet.

          All of the Grenfell survivors have been offered permanent housing at least as good, if not considerably better than what they were living in previously. Some have rejected what is on offer in the hope that by playing the victim card for long enough, they will receive something even better. For example, some are demanding town houses with private gardens and one particularly enterprising chancer's justification for rejecting a flat was that his adult son, that lived with him in Grenfell, also deserved one! Meanwhile, the bill for temporary accommodation currently exceeds £30 million. A whole new tower is estimated to cost in the region of £10 million!

          Sometimes it pays not to take everything you read in the Grauniad at face value.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: So who's Javid?

            Moronic lefties don't like facts getting in the way of their rants.

    3. Chronos Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: So who's Javid?

      You will find out when we've copied the front end interface to the AI that runs the HomeSecBot to the new host. We just have to lower the pitch a bit and give it a slight accent. In the meantime, please continue having hope that things will change. It makes those tears of disappointment so much sweeter.

    4. Loyal Commenter Silver badge

      Re: So who's Javid?

      Well, he's the one who described Momentum as fascists, but did it in parliament so that they couldn't sue him for defamation because of parliamentary privilege.

      In terms of brexit, he was a 'reluctant remainer' - i.e. a fence sitter who followed wherever the political wind was blowing.

      I don't expect him to be worse than Rudd; that would be difficult, but I don't expect him to be a lot better either. Home secretaries (from both parties) have a habit of being authoritarian in recent history, and his 'fascist' jibe does make me think about how Goebbels liked to divert attention from his political party by accusing rivals of the things they were guilty of first...

      1. Peter2 Silver badge

        Re: So who's Javid?

        Well, he's the one who described Momentum as fascists, but did it in parliament so that they couldn't sue him for defamation because of parliamentary privilege.

        For context, didn't he say that immediately after bricks were put through the window of a person politically opposing Momentum's policies on the Labour side, with death threats to that persons staff, and staff at places where they were planning to hold rallies to the point of forcing change of venues?

        1. Loyal Commenter Silver badge

          Re: So who's Javid?

          For context, didn't he say that immediately after bricks were put through the window of a person politically opposing Momentum's policies on the Labour side, with death threats to that persons staff, and staff at places where they were planning to hold rallies to the point of forcing change of venues?

          If I recall correctly, the "bricks through windows" incident was someone putting a brick through the window of a building next door to a Conservative politician's office, which was then whipped up by the press to be a 'Momentum are thugs' thing.

          Don't get me wrong, I'm not a fan of Momentum; they're a little bit too much like a cult of personality for my tastes. However, if you're looking for genuine fascist organisations in the UK, there are a number of them on the far-right (e.g. 'Britain First') who are genuinely nasty.

          You have to remember, too, that Momentum are quite a large movement, and as such are bound to have a handful of 'bad eggs', whereas the actual problem organisations are those entirely populated by such rotten ova. To brand an entire organisation as 'fascists' based upon the alleged actions of a few (which later turn out to be fabrications), is a bit like saying all women are serial killers based upon the actions of Aileen Wuornos.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: So who's Javid?

        "so that they couldn't sue him for defamation because of parliamentary privilege."

        Or because of accuracy / fair comment.

        1. Loyal Commenter Silver badge
          Facepalm

          Re: So who's Javid?

          Or because of accuracy / fair comment.

          They did state that if he repeated those comments outside of parliament, he would be sued.

          It's all too easy to hide behind AC and repeat those accusations, but I'd be careful saying such things on a public forum, where you might find it a little easier to be identified (by use of a court order) than you might think if those in Momentum were to take affront to it, and where parliamentary privilege certainly doesn't apply.

          Not that I'd expect Momentum to go after trolls on website forums, since the damage to their reputation is hardly going to be severe from silly comments like yours.

    5. Jason Bloomberg Silver badge

      Re: So who's Javid?

      It is fairly easy to find some good things about Javid, unfortunately it's equally easy to find the bad. And it seems more bad than good on balance.

      But it won't matter once he's had a sip of Home Office tea. I don't know what they put in it but it seems to turn every entrant into an illiberal, authoritarian Home Secretary in short order.

      1. John Smith 19 Gold badge
        Alien

        "I don't know what they put in it but it seems to turn every entrant into an illiberal,

        authoritarian Home Secretary in short order."

        Well, TBH sometimes it take a little longer for the parasite to take over their frontal lobes.

        1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

          Re: "I don't know what they put in it but it seems to turn every entrant into an illiberal,

          authoritarian Home Secretary in short order."

          It turned Gerald Kaufman into a fascist. Blunket always wanted to be Beria - it would be entertaining to elect a Green party home secretary just to see what happens.

          1. Roj Blake Silver badge

            Re: "I don't know what they put in it but it seems to turn every entrant into an illiberal,

            Except that Gerald Kaufman was never Home Secretary.

      2. Androgynous Cupboard Silver badge

        Re: So who's Javid? @Jason Bloomberg

        Was going to post the same thing. The quickest way to turn a moderate MP into a swivel eyed loon is to give them the home office portfolio

    6. Jonathon Green
      Black Helicopters

      Re: So who's Javid?

      What he is or was is irrelevant, can anybody remember anybody getting the Home Office portfolio and not turning out to be, or turning into “...some kind of totalitarian whack on...” after the first month or so in post?

      Honestly, it makes you wonder what’s in the orientation briefings, and whether there’s something in them that the rest of us really ought to know about....

      CASE NIGHTMARE RAINBOW anybody?

      1. Aladdin Sane Silver badge

        Re: So who's Javid?

        “You know, there’s a handful of people that run everything. That’s a fact, I’m not some conspiracy nut. A handful, very small, elite run and own these corporations, which include the mainstream media. I have this feeling that whoever’s elected president… when you win, you go into this smoky room with the twelve industrialists capitalists scum-fucks who got you in there. And a big guy with a cigar goes: ‘Roll the film.’ And it’s a shot of the Kennedy Assassination from an angle you’ve never seen before. It looks suspiciously off the grassy knoll. Then the screen comes up, and they go to the new president: ‘Any questions?’”

        - Bill Hicks, Rant in E-Minor (1993)

        I believe the Home Office orientation briefings are something like that, except they show the new appointee their and their family's entire internet history.

      2. Voyna i Mor Silver badge

        Re: So who's Javid?

        "Honestly, it makes you wonder what’s in the orientation briefings"

        "Welcome to the executive arm of the Murdoch government."

      3. Roj Blake Silver badge

        Re: can anybody remember...?

        Roy Jenkins?

        Ken Clarke?

        1. MJI Silver badge

          Re: can anybody remember...?

          I remember Ken Clarke

          Best prime minister we never had in my opinion.

          For a taste search on "Ken Clarke" "News international"

        2. strum Silver badge

          Re: can anybody remember...?

          I remember both.

          Roy Jenkins was probably the best Home Sec, best Foreign Sec and best Chancellor in modern times. Only a silly lisp stopped him from being PM.

    7. Lotaresco

      Re: So who's Javid?

      "How much of an authoritarian whackjob is he compared to Amber "Hashtags" Rudd?"

      I think the evidence about Javis is that these days he's very keen on deporting all those horrible EU citizens from the UK ASAP. He also proposes that the UK should throw open it's borders to let in as many nice, cheap Indian citizens who know something about IT so that the government can escape from having to pay huge contractor wages. Some of these contractors earn more than the Prime Minister you know!

    8. Richard Scratcher

      Re: So who's Javid?

      From Wikipedia:

      "a master of disguise, using various masks to try and discover the secrets of the Thunderbirds machines and carry out various missions. He also possesses strange hypnotic powers of unknown origin, although these abilities are apparently limited to making people carry out simple commands, such as to follow him or put them to sleep. He is also apparently unable to use these powers to acquire information; on one occasion he attempted to force Brains to tell him the location of a lost treasure by burying him up to his neck in sand and sunlight and depriving him of water rather than simply hypnotising him to learn the answer, suggesting that he cannot make people tell him information but simply make them carry out certain actions."

      1. John Smith 19 Gold badge
        Coffee/keyboard

        " using various masks to try and discover the secrets of the Thunderbirds machines"

        I think subconsciously I've been trying very hard not to think of that image.

        That is just so wrong on so many levels.

        And yet, so right..

        And I was getting to like this keyboard....

  5. Chronos Silver badge

    "In the world of technology policy, Rudd will be remembered"

    ...with a side of derision, if she's lucky enough to be remembered at all. Unfortunately, we still have the Old Grey May-or who, when it comes to tech, the Internet and all things privacy, is just as bloody bad.

    Of course, as John Smith 19 pointed out to me yesterday, it's the bureaucrats in the back rooms that drive this policy. The figureheads are just the fall guys when it all goes TITSUP (total inability to swindle uneducated proles).

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: "In the world of technology policy, Rudd will be remembered"

      Good riddance. Never in my 40 odd years of "political awareness" have I known a politician make so many gaffes and ignorant statements just by opening her mouth. She was reaching the point of being beyond a joke.

      As a young teenager in 1979 I used to think Thatchers teams were a bunch of worthless old suits (as Ben Elton eloquently described them). However, as part of "Generation ZX" (along with many other reg readers it seems) I now appreciate strong leadership, and the vision, for instance, to put a computer in every school. She may have been despised and taken away our school milk, but the computers made up for it, even though she and her suits wouldn't have had a clue what to do wih one. Quite what the governments of the past 20 years will be remembered for, other than pure incompetence, I have no idea.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: "In the world of technology policy, Rudd will be remembered"

        "Never in my 40 odd years of "political awareness" have I known a politician make so many gaffes and ignorant statements just by opening her mouth"

        You must have missed the shadow home secretary then. Who cant do basic maths amongst countless other gaffs.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: "In the world of technology policy, Rudd will be remembered"

          "You must have missed the shadow home secretary....."

          Yes - I stand corrected. Have a beer on me.

          I had forgotten about her inability to figure out that policemen cost more than £32 per year. The thought of having someone from a cesspit like Hackney putting her socialist views and beliefs on the whole country is somewhat frightening.....

          1. Aladdin Sane Silver badge

            Re: "In the world of technology policy, Rudd will be remembered"

            BoJo anybody?

          2. Androgynous Cupboard Silver badge

            Re: "In the world of technology policy, Rudd will be remembered"

            To be fair to Diane Abbot, she's been the MP for Hackney since 1987. You don't keep that job for 30 years unless the people you're representing think you're doing something right.

            Personally I also found the slagging off she got for muffing her figures AFTER admitting she had diabetes and had been struggling to manage it during the election, rather distasteful. Without that admission, fine, she's a fair target.

            1. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: "In the world of technology policy, Rudd will be remembered"

              To be fair to Diane Abbot, she's been the MP for Hackney since 1987. You don't keep that job for 30 years unless the people you're representing think you're doing something right.

              Personally I also found the slagging off she got for muffing her figures AFTER admitting she had diabetes and had been struggling to manage it during the election, rather distasteful. Without that admission, fine, she's a fair target.

              My issue with Abbot is that, in common with many socialists, she's a hypocrite. Despite campaigning for an end to selective education, she sends her own kids to private school. When challenged about this apparent contradiction her response was that being black they're susceptible to joining gangs! Not quite sure how that clumsy response would've gone down with her Hackney constituents, but I guess they're still happy enough to vote for her.

              1. Androgynous Cupboard Silver badge

                Re: "In the world of technology policy, Rudd will be remembered"

                Selective education exists the UK, whether we like it or not. As a consequence the state schools are not as good. If you're expecting her, or anyone else to put their ideals ahead of their children you are going to be disappointed.

                Aside: while we're railing against the state of our schools here's a campaign that everyone can get behind

            2. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: "In the world of technology policy, Rudd will be remembered"

              To be fair to Diane Abbot, she's been the MP for Hackney since 1987

              You say that like it's something to be proud of. 30 years and they still couldn't find anyone better than Abbot?

        2. Roj Blake Silver badge

          Re: You must have missed the shadow home secretary then

          You mean the Shadow Home Secretary who as a black working-class teenage girl got into Cambridge University in the 1970s?

          Yeah, she sounds like a complete idiot.

          1. Jemma Silver badge

            Re: You must have missed the shadow home secretary then

            You might have heard of the "Daystrom Effect"? An extremely talented young person who turns into a dribbling imbecile after too long achieving absolutely nothing. Sound familiar?

            Named for a certain Richard "I'm not nuts!" Daystrom and collaborator and co-dribbling nut job, the M-5 Multitronic Unit.

            ... And send my regards to Prime Minister Dunsel...

            But this can't happen soon enough.

            Theresa May: "I'm the Prime Minister..."

            Dalek (bored): "Yes, we know..."

      2. Charlie Clark Silver badge

        Re: "In the world of technology policy, Rudd will be remembered"

        Never in my 40 odd years of "political awareness" have I known a politician make so many gaffes and ignorant statements just by opening her mouth.

        You must have been living on a different plant then as there have been loads of them. I'll give you John Nott as a starter.

      3. JimmyPage Silver badge
        Stop

        Re: "In the world of technology policy, Rudd will be remembered"

        Good riddance. Never in my 40 odd years of "political awareness" have I known a politician make so many gaffes and ignorant statements just by opening her mouth. She was reaching the point of being beyond a joke.

        Er, Jacqui Smith ??????

      4. MJI Silver badge

        Re: "In the world of technology policy, Rudd will be remembered"

        I hated school milk so that is a plus to me

    2. Charlie Clark Silver badge

      Re: "In the world of technology policy, Rudd will be remembered"

      There's a problem with her resigning from this notoriously weak cabinet. For example, BoJo should have gone months ago for any of his many gaffs but can't be forced out. The cabinet has to contain a delicate balance of those for and against leaving the EU and hopes to rely on cabinet discipline (try that with BoJo…) to keep the government in power. Having taken one for the architect of the Windrush omnishambles and by going on the back benches Rudd has little to lose and might be more inclined to lead a group of Tory MPs to vote against the government line over, say, staying in the customs union. I think history is replete with similar examples.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: "In the world of technology policy, Rudd will be remembered"

        Having taken one for the architect of the Windrush omnishambles and by going on the back benches Rudd has little to lose and might be more inclined to lead a group of Tory MPs to vote against the government line over, say, staying in the customs union.

        In which case, all of the Remaniacs who would ordinarily be highly critical of the moronic Rudd will suddenly declare her a saint.

        1. Loyal Commenter Silver badge

          Re: "In the world of technology policy, Rudd will be remembered"

          n which case, all of the Remaniacs who would ordinarily be highly critical of the moronic Rudd will suddenly declare her a saint.

          As a proud Remaniac*, I'll settle for declaring her slightly less useless than she otherwise was. Somewhere between chocolate fireguard and cock-flavoured lollypop.

          *I'm not sure those in favour of the status quo in any situation could be referred to as 'maniacs', but this sort of thing is par-for-the-course coming from an obvious "smash up everything and call it brilliant" brexit troll.

          1. Roj Blake Silver badge

            Re: Remaniacs

            I'm happy to be called a Remaniac as long as I'm allowed to call the pro-leave people Quitlings.

          2. Jemma Silver badge

            Re: "In the world of technology policy, Rudd will be remembered"

            Cock flavoured lollipop...

            Thanks - now I have images, really bad images, that need counselling. Involving politicians down the ages.. Widdecombe, Heath, Abbott.

            Good ole Gove blowing the Horn of Gondor...

            That doesn't need brain bleach - it needs molecular acid - in Carboys.

        2. David Nash Silver badge

          Re: "In the world of technology policy, Rudd will be remembered"

          In which case, all of the Remaniacs who would ordinarily be highly critical of the moronic Rudd will suddenly declare her a saint right on this one point.

          Even morons aren't always wrong.

        3. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

          Re: "In the world of technology policy, Rudd will be remembered"

          "In which case, all of the Remaniacs who would ordinarily be highly critical of the moronic Rudd will suddenly declare her a saint."

          Personally I'd have liked to have had David Davis replace Rudd as Home Sec and then Rudd appointed to take his place..

  6. Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse Silver badge

    Fuckety bye...

    "Where do you think you are, in some fucking regency costume drama?! This is a government department, not a fucking Jane fucking Austen novel!"

    Can I have a go at this job next?

    1. Aladdin Sane Silver badge

      Re: Fuckety bye...

      Do you want to be Malcolm Tucker or the poor schmuck in charge of the Home Office?

      1. TRT Silver badge

        Re: Fuckety bye...

        I understand Rudd was something to do with Four Weddings... script editor for Hugh Grant, perhaps?

        1. Roj Blake Silver badge

          Re: Rudd was something to do with Four Weddings

          She was an "Aristocracy Co-ordinator"

        2. Jemma Silver badge

          Re: Fuckety bye...

          I remember him, wasn't he The Man Who Went Up An Alley and Came Down a Hooker - or am I thinking about someone else?

          I never saw the attraction myself - he started off looking like an anorexic bloodhound and now he looks like a bloodhound that was an unlucky extra on 28 days later. Some people improve with age, some just age. There was never much to be going on with.

      2. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

        Re: Fuckety bye...

        "the poor schmuck in charge of the Home Office?"

        "Poor schmuck" seems a reasonable description of the fate of anyone appointed Home Sec but Home Secs are in the charge of the Home Office, not in charge of it.

        1. MGJ

          Re: Fuckety bye...

          Something that she had to be forcibly reminded of when she claimed not to have been briefed on the targets. Ooops, how did that leak out?

  7. J J Carter Silver badge
    IT Angle

    What's the IT Angle?

    If Rudd was an OS, she'd be Windows 8.0, useless, unloved and quickly forgotten

    1. BinkyTheMagicPaperclip Silver badge

      Re: What's the IT Angle?

      No, Windows 8 actually worked. True, mashing together Metro and desktop didn't quite work but it was reasonably solid and not quite as dumbed down as Windows 10.

      Rudd is more like Windows ME.

    2. Loyal Commenter Silver badge

      Re: What's the IT Angle?

      I'd suggest Windows ME - outdated, never worked properly and nobody can remember wanting it. Oh, and named after a chronic fatigue syndrome.

      1. Loyal Commenter Silver badge

        Re: What's the IT Angle?

        ...not to mention being a rebranded-but-broken re-hashing of the previous version from two years earlier...

        1. TRT Silver badge

          Re: What's the IT Angle?

          With a broken internal model of what security should look like...

    3. Noonoot

      Re: What's the IT Angle?

      The IT angle is that there is no effing IT in place that would have avoided this whole fiasco!

      1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

        Re: What's the IT Angle?

        "The IT angle is that there is no effing IT in place that would have avoided this whole fiasco!"

        Nor any possibility of one after the data's been destroyed.

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Nice move, get caught up in a scandal about immigration and employ a descendant of immigrants to appease the voters before the local elections. Cynic? Moi? Never.

    1. Charlie Clark Silver badge

      Somehow I don't see Javid appealing to voters of Carribean descent…

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Why? He's still BAME, got to be better than putting a white person in the role after a scandal over immigration. It's also a nice softener on the voters ready for a general election.

        1. Voyna i Mor Silver badge

          "Why? He's still BAME"

          The idea that people can be lumped together as "BAME" is pretty racist in itself, but tell me why someone from the Caribbean who has worked all their working lives in the NHS or public transport would be more likely to vote Conservative because the Home Secretary is a banker of Pakistani origin? In case you haven't noticed, the various Pakistani cultures (with the exception of the educated upper class) are more foreign to your average Evangelical of Caribbean descent than are white British.

          As a Londoner who moved to the West Country years ago before everybody suddenly realised it was nicer in our neck of the woods, I used to feel pretty minority ethnic myself.

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Why? He's still BAME, got to be better than putting a white person in the role after a scandal over immigration.

          Why, you ask?

          Newsflash...Shock horror, but not all the 'coloured' ethnic minorities in Britain like each other...I suspect the label used to describe him won't be BAME, but 'Coconut' or 'Bounty Bar' or '{insert the 'P' word here} Bastard' (or just plain 'Tory Bastard').

          If the rationale here is that the Government thinks that by appointing someone of Pakistani descent to the post, this is somehow an acceptable means of trying to ameliorate the Windrush debacle, then it proves they know very little about race relations in the UK, in fact, the action also displays more than a hint of the old 'Pakistani, Indian, African, who cares? they're all just wogs..' colonial attitudes coming to the fore.

          1. Jemma Silver badge

            Sometimes, a Golliwog is just a toy...

      2. MJI Silver badge

        But he does appeal to

        Small yellow intelligent creatures with goggles

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      "employ a descendant of immigrants to appease the voters "

      Surely annoy the voters? I can't see too many Conservative or DUP voters being keen on someone of foreign extraction.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        No problem here

        He seems OK

        I have voted for Conservatives in the past and race, gender, sexuality would not stop a vote, but being a tw@t would.

        I'll give you DUP but not Conservatives, try UKIP instead.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      I wonder what she got from her Boss to take flak for her and fall on her sword.

      1. John Smith 19 Gold badge
        Unhappy

        "I wonder what she got from her Boss to take flak for her and fall on her sword."

        Good question.

        a) Something very nice or

        b) The promise of something very nice "When the fuss dies down. Look Amber, just keep your head down, don't stir up any Remainers in the Party to mutiny and I'll look after you when the time comes."

        Of course if it's the latter the question is who's making that promise?

        If it's May it may not be worth the breath it's written on.

  9. Nick Ryan Silver badge

    Either a liar or incompent

    She was demonstrably either a liar or incompent (and possibly both). There is no scenario where such an individual is suitable for such a position.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Either a liar or incompent

      You have this wrong, they are the requirements for the role, in fact any role in parliament demands it.

    2. MJI Silver badge

      Re: Either a liar or incompent

      Simply over her head and too May indocrinated.

    3. Jason Bloomberg Silver badge

      Re: Either a liar or incompent

      Yet Gove describes her as "a huge asset - brave, principled, thoughtful, humane, considerate and always thinking of the impact of policy on the vulnerable".

      I was so gob-smacked I had to double-check it was his official feed, not some satire site.

      1. John Smith 19 Gold badge
        WTF?

        "Gove.."a huge asset - brave, principled, thoughtful, humane,..always thinking of the impact

        of policy on the vulnerable"."

        OK That's at the top of my current "Are you f**king kidding me" list for 2018.

        I know, still 8 months left to go, but I think it's going to take a lot to top that pile of merde de taureau.

      2. Voyna i Mor Silver badge

        Re: Either a liar or incompent

        "always thinking of the impact of policy on the vulnerable"

        Nice Gove double speak.

        "Always thinking of the impact of policy on the vulnerable in hopes of really dumping on them from a great height"

        1. Jemma Silver badge

          Re: Either a liar or incompent

          To quote pTerry..

          "Fate is not always careful where she sticks her finger..."

          They'd still be machine gunning single mums if they could actually find any married ones.

      3. Justicesays

        Re: Either a liar or incompent

        Yet Gove describes her as "a huge asset - brave, principled, thoughtful, humane, considerate and always thinking of the impact of policy on the vulnerable".

        To be fair, Gove is partly right on this point. The first 10 letters.

        About up to here:

        "a huge ass"

      4. Roger Varley

        Re: Either a liar or incompent

        I am a liar,

        You are mendacious,

        Amber Rudd inadvertantly misleads.

        They must think we're all fsking stupid

    4. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

      Re: Either a liar or incompent

      "There is no scenario where such an individual is suitable for such a position."

      The HO would disagree. Someone as deeply ignorant as that could repeat anything they told her without showing any signs of disbelief because she didn't have the knowledge that would have caused her to disbelieve.

  10. MJI Silver badge

    Sajids little helpers

    Will be along as well. Dave, Kevin & Stuart.

    Sajid is Dara's stand in.

    1. MJI Silver badge

      Re: Sajids little helpers

      I keep forgetting how to spell his first name despite being nearby to my constituency.

      Anyway seems a nice enough bloke on the local radio, but then all the locals ones seem decent enough to me. The real idiots tend to be rejected at the ballot box.

      But they do get over their head sometimes, they are only people.

      He did used to run a bank so SHOULD be OK (we hope)

      1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

        Re: Sajids little helpers

        "He did used to run a bank so SHOULD be OK"

        There's evidence that that's not a much of a guarantee of competence.

      2. Jason Bloomberg Silver badge
        Joke

        Re: Sajids little helpers

        I keep forgetting how to spell his first name

        "Token" is easier.

  11. frank ly Silver badge

    Being pedantic:

    "... in order to convince us that her master actually meant to say "hashing", "

    Amber Rudd was her 'mistress', not her master.

    1. Aladdin Sane Silver badge
      Headmaster

      Re: Being pedantic:

      Since we're being pedants, you should really use the pedant icon--->

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    history tells us to beware

    She'll be back.... you only have to look at bojo/gove history etc

    1. Dan 55 Silver badge

      Re: history tells us to beware

      Jeremy Hunt doesn't even bother to pretend ("She will be missed until she is back which she will be").

  13. Velv Silver badge
    Coat

    Well there can now be no argument over this government being Rudderless

  14. Toilet Duk

    Welcome to Britain. Everything not mandatory is forbidden. Everything not forbidden is mandatory.

  15. Dr_N Silver badge

    Hope Javid's parents have all their paperwork in order.

    Would be extremely embarrassing if uk.gov tries to deport them.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Hope Javid's parents have all their paperwork in order.

      Rich people never risk.

    2. Voyna i Mor Silver badge

      Re: Hope Javid's parents have all their paperwork in order.

      Just do what the Russians do -

      Hint at a big donation to the Con party.

      Oh dear - foreigners aren't allowed to do that.

      Fast track UK citizenship

      Big donation.

  16. charlieboywoof
    Holmes

    Cant see the problem

    There are targets for prosecuting drink driving, speeding, and a hundred other illegal things. If your entitled to be here fine, prove it or be nicked.

    1. Roj Blake Silver badge

      Re: Cant see the problem

      The problem is that if you have a target of finding 100 illegal immigrants and you can only locate 90, you will be tempted to go after some legal immigrants who happen to be, through no fault of their own, easy targets.

      The Windrush people were asked to provide multiple pieces of evidence that they were here for each single year for over forty years. I don't know many people who could do that. I couldn't.

      It's not unlike giving ATOS targets to find cheats and then finding that people were unjustly losing their benefits.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Cant see the problem

      > If your entitled to be here fine, prove it or be nicked.

      It is "can't" not "cant" and "you're" not "your"!

      You could make an effort to learn English while you are here :)

    3. Boris the Cockroach Silver badge
      FAIL

      Re: Cant see the problem

      Quote:

      There are targets for prosecuting drink driving, speeding, and a hundred other illegal things. If your entitled to be here fine, prove it or be nicked.

      Which is exactly how the child support agency started life, as a well intentioned idea to get absent fathers to pay for their sprogs.

      But when it came to implementing this idea, it suddenly became clear that it was much easier to target those men already paying for their sprogs via court orders/divorce agreements and the like.

      So lets get them and make them pay more regardless.

      Then the DHSS got in on the act....... mothers with kids getting more money... well... we'll have that off whatever benefits they are claiming with the result single mothers ended up with no more money than they had before the CSA was setup.

      Of course the CSA could have gone after the actually absent and non paying fathers......... but then that was a shit ton more work and unlikely to reduce the benefit bill......

      As for your 'prove it or be nicked' line , it is the governments job to prove whatever against you, not you having to prove something to the authorities every 5 mins... unless you like living in a state where you hear "Papers please" all the time....

    4. desht

      Re: Cant see the problem

      "prove it or be nicked"

      ... and hope the government hasn't shredded your paperwork.

      1. Cynic_999 Silver badge

        Re: Cant see the problem

        "prove it or be nicked"

        Apart from turning upside-down the concept of "innocent until proven guilty", think where such a policy will lead.

        The police could walk in your house and seize everything that you cannot prove belongs to you, on the basis that if you cannot prove it's yours, it is presumed stolen. Do you have the sales receipt for your beds, fridge, washing machine, TV set? No good calling the shop you bought them from - they shredded the records ages ago.

        Come to think of it, that's how POCA works. "Prove that you did not buy your car/house/boat using money you got from selling drugs, or they're gone."

  17. Bernard M. Orwell Silver badge

    Red Letter Day

    So, Rudd quit on the 29th April, which is only a couple of days before May.

    ...With some luck.

  18. Salestard

    Aside from the usual noise

    There's an interesting thing to note - Javid is not considered an ally of May. This in itself is interesting - May's grip on power is tenuous; mostly she seems to still be PM because nobody else is stupid enough to want to lead the mess she's gotten them all into... except one man.

    The real danger we face now is that May goes and we end up with HIM as PM. That would be a Very Bad Thing Indeed.

    You know of whom I speak.

    1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

      Re: Aside from the usual noise

      "You know of whom I speak."

      No. I can think of several who'd want the job. When the opportunity comes up they'll end up stabbing each other in the back again with any luck.

    2. Nick Kew Silver badge

      Re: Aside from the usual noise

      None of the "HIM" candidates want the job yet.

      Once they judge that we've reached the point of maximum blame, things will look different.

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Yikes

    Having The Hood from Thunderbirds as the new Home Secretary can't be a good idea, can it ?!

    1. 89724905708169238590784I93056703497430967343467734786478523498635923556485449963138571485_LONG_GONE

      Re: Yikes

      His baby snaps look excatly the same.

  20. This post has been deleted by its author

  21. 89724905708169238590784I93056703497430967343467734786478523498635923556485449963138571485_LONG_GONE

    Prime Minister Meekon?

    ...Dan Dare's Fears Made Real...

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