back to article Jeff Bezos purple prose reveals Amazon Prime's passed 100m customers

Amazon has announced the yield from its money mine for the full year 2017: on full-year sales of US$178 billion, it generated an operating income of $4 billion and net income of $3 billion. The Bezos Bunch pulled most of its retail business in the Christmas period, since as we reported in February, Q4 2017 netted $1.9 billion …

  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Yoga and zen in the workplace, next he'll be charging people for the privilege of working for him.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Quite the opposite,

      http://uk.businessinsider.com/amazon-warehouse-like-prison-where-workers-used-pee-bottle-2018-4

      1. LDS Silver badge
        Joke

        "warehouse-like-prison-where-workers-used-pee-bottle"

        Losers. They could have bought a catheter and bags on Amazon... to avoid to touch my precioussss items and parcel with their dirty hands. If I were Bezos, I would make it mandatory. Also, have mandatory masks so they can't put their fingers in their noses!

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      >>Jeff Bezos said it's hit a $20bn annual revenue run-rate.

      So falling behind Microsoft in cloud then. They already exceeded that.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        "So falling behind Microsoft in cloud then. They already exceeded that."

        Try again. MS don't split revenues like this, so O365 also gets bundled in there as well (along with many other products).

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          "so O365 also gets bundled in there as well"

          That's a cloud product, so it should be in there. A quick check shows the OP is right, and Microsofts revenue in what they define as cloud has exceeded and is growing much faster than AWS.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            The challenge with using Office 365 and Dynamix revenue is that MS there is no split out between cloud and standalone/on-premise.

            While MS may very well be number one in cloud, number three is IBM just behind AWS and the make of cloud revenue between those two players is very different....

  2. Blockchain commentard Silver badge

    99m, 999 thousand, 999 now

    Didn't renew my Prime membership 2 days ago. Not in protest at the abismal treatment of staff but the abismal treatment of customers. Next day delivery my arse if it takes 2 days to pick it from a shelf and put a stamp on it. Currently waiting for stuff supposed to be delivered by the postie last Saturday (when I was with Prime). Yes they're big with lots of customers but if they can't deliver, they should employ more staff since the drone idea seems to have stalled.

    1. Lee D Silver badge

      Re: 99m, 999 thousand, 999 now

      I'm sure you've had a bad experience but, for the majority of people I speak to, they have Prime because it's just that good.

      My employer uses Amazon for Business... we order everything from pens and paper through to hundreds of iPads via it. It's basically our biggest supplier. Everyone I speak to about the customer service, the delivery, etc. is over the moon with it and believes they've transformed shopping.

      Hell, I could order random computer parts and have them within 2 hours as we're part of a Prime Now area. And I've done that and it works.

      Our employer actually has an "Amazon cupboard" where staff can order all their stuff to the work address (because there's always someone there), and it gets put into the cupboard and at the end of the day someone delivers it to people's offices if they haven't come to collect it (personally, I get a message on my phone saying it's here AS THE GUY presses the button with the receptionist to say he's put the parcel in there, and then I wander up there).

      If your post office is terrible, though, they don't have much recourse. They'll never know that unless everyone tells them, and there might be nothing they can do about it. Prime for me means next-day, every time (unless I decide to get a £1 credit on the video store and have it delivered whenever, when it generally arrives... the next day). If anything, I only ever seem to get notifications that my delivery will come EARLIER than the delivery estimate, especially for non-Prime items.

      I don't see how "stuff supposed to be delivered by the postie" really translates into how Amazon "should employ more staff", though. Sounds like your post office need to pull their finger out.

      To be honest, I can't fault Amazon on much at all. They didn't have a business account, and all my former employers have used them for lots of things. Now they do. Their customer service was absolutely faultless every time I used it. The returns procedure is wonderful (I've received replacements BEFORE I could even box up the faulty item to take back).

      About the only thing I think they don't have up to the normal standard: The food delivery thing is just mediocre. I think that's because of their partnered supermarket in the UK (Morrisons?). It was okay but Asda/Tesco/Sainsburys do a much better job. Oh, and if we could cut out the ChromeCast/Firestick rivalry and just let all the apps work on both devices seamlessly, that would be great. I'm not going to buy a Firestick just to watch a free movie, Amazon, when I already have a Chromecast, so give it up.

      Yes, I have Prime. I use Prime Video (and bought videos too). I've tried Prime Fresh. I've tried Prime Music (but it's not a big product for me, but it does just work). No, I don't have an Echo or any other surveillance device. I don't use Prime Photos. I had a Kindle but I gave it to someone and just read my books on my phone now. I don't have any of the bolt-on subscriptions like Family, Music, Reading, Twitch, etc.

      But I absolutely would struggle to fault the "I want that, click button, oh look it's arrived" part of the service. I literally spend enough online - mostly through Amazon - that £79 for a year's worth of postage is actually money-saving. Everything else is just a bonus. And, to be honest, if I click the "No Rush Delivery" button for things, I can buy enough movies over the course of a year with the savings to build up a video library worth £79.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: The Amazon effect

        So in effect you have sold out to Bezos and crew. You have been reeled in, hook, line and sinker.

        Soon, there won't be any competition left and then Amazon becomes 'The company store' where your ideas of purchasing nirvana costs more because they have destroyed the competition.

        As for the working conditions at their warehouse, the remaining humans will soon be consigned to the scrapheap. Even the robots will be maintained by robots.

        Then again with everyone out of a job due to automation who will have any money to buy stuff from the 'Company Store' anyway?

        Now be a good shopper and click on 'Buy Me' before it is too late. /s

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: 99m, 999 thousand, 999 now

        Our employer actually has an "Amazon cupboard" where staff can order all their stuff to the work address (because there's always someone there), and it gets put into the cupboard and at the end of the day someone delivers it to people's offices

        Bwahahahahahahaa! Make use of that whilst it lasts! My last employer banned the practice of "Amazon-to-work" after somebody ordered a washing machine, which caused more than a certain amount of difficulty in the post room of a large administrative office.

        1. Anonymous Crowbar

          Re: 99m, 999 thousand, 999 now

          Bwahahahahahahaa! Make use of that whilst it lasts! My last employer banned the practice of "Amazon-to-work" after somebody ordered a washing machine, which caused more than a certain amount of difficulty in the post room of a large administrative office.

          Ha. Amateurs. Previous company banned the practice of "packages to work" because of two reasons.

          #1 Someone had a piano delivered to reception.

          #2 The moronic security guards were signing for everything that came in, and the company got hit with 10K+ in import and customs duties at the end of the year.

          Muppets.

      3. strum

        Re: 99m, 999 thousand, 999 now

        I don't do Prime - because I never really need anything that quickly.

        Indeed, it seems to disrupt the natural cycle of things; two days before I start hoping it will arrive, ten days before I start complaining that it hasn't, three weeks before I give up.

        If something turns up, hours after I ordered it, it seems a little pushy, y'know?

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: 99m, 999 thousand, 999 now

      I'm going to quit it when it expires this November. They doubled the price, and frankly, I made it when it was 9.99/yr only because faster shipping and lower minimum expense, never used any other service.

      Then it became 19.99/yr and now 36/yr. Next day delivery happens rarely - and I live and work close to one of their shipping warehouses. If I need to ship to the postal office because nobody can get the parcel at home, and it is too big for the nearby locker, it will takes several days anyway.

      As Prime becomes more expensive, I can wait a few days more, and wait to buy items below the minimum expense. And probably buy less at Amazon.

      1. TheTor

        Re: 99m, 999 thousand, 999 now

        Are you actually buying items marked 'Prime' though? Dont forget, not all products are fulfilled by Amazon. The ones that do, arrive on time (if not early) every single time.

    3. Adam 52 Silver badge

      Re: 99m, 999 thousand, 999 now

      I'm considering ditching Prime when it renews in November too. It's no longer next day and the prices for Prime items are typically inflated by the cost of next day delivery anyway. I was looking at my order history over the weekend, I haven't bought anything over £20 and shipped by Amazon this year (which is why my add-on items are still sitting in the basket).

  3. LucreLout Silver badge

    Worth the fee for the tv...

    I realise not everyone will agree, but Prime has lots of shows I love - Bosch, Mr Robot, Grand Tour etc. Prime Reading saves me a bit of cash in terms of magazine purchases too.

    The free postage used to be a big draw because I'd save enough, even for allowing a bit of price inflation, to make it worth while. Not so much now with all the restrictions on the service.

    What I should probably start doing is putting any cash saved into Amazon shares.....

  4. Abbeyon

    100 million must also know Bezos employees piss in bottles

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      "100 million must also know Bezos employees piss in bottles"

      Well lets hope they were IrnBru bottles so that they can call it recycling.

  5. mark l 2 Silver badge

    I am not surpised that there are 100 million prime customers with the way Amazon pushes prime at every opportunity. Often you can buy items cheaper from other businesses that use Amazon Marketplace but with the way Amazon pushed their own prime options you might never know that, The links to other sellers selling the same item is hidden away behind a small text link

  6. steviebuk Silver badge

    100 million customers....

    ...that can't understand why, with that amount of money, Amazon Primes video app is so shit and poorly laid out.

    I want to go on Amazon and see the latest movies that have been released for rent that were in the cinema a few months back. Nope, no option. Not a pissing clear one anyway.

    Not only that, most of the movies available on Prime are ones from the 80s and 90s. There are more current movies for your monthly sub on NOWtv.

  7. MJI Silver badge

    I got Prime and it is worth it to me.

    Was considering for a while, TGT was the final thing.

    Quite a bit of TV on there to watch. And getting stuff same day is novel. Was almost quicker to get a power sander off Amazon than driving to Homebase.

    And it is possible that there are higher paid people than Bezos at Amazon, how about Clarkson?

  8. flokie

    How many signed up unwittingly?

    I've always managed to find the very small hidden "Free delivery" or normal delivery options and avoided signing up for Prime, but they make it incredibly easy for people to sign up for Prime without realising.

  9. Keith Oborn

    Net margin 1.68%

    That is slightly worse than Tesco (1.74) and almost half that of Walmart (3.1).

    Interesting that bricks and mortar operations do better.

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