back to article German sauna drags punters to court over naked truth

A steamy romp in a sauna – like there's any other kind – has landed two alleged canoodlers in hot water. The unnamed duo were yesterday taken to court by the owners of spa complex Badewelt, based in, er, Sinsheim, south Germany, after they refused to cough a €600 fine for supposed fruity behaviour in the changing rooms, The …

  1. 's water music Silver badge
    Coat

    no happy ending?

    letters-->igmc

    1. TheVogon Silver badge

      Re: no happy ending?

      "€600"

      Presumably it's an hourly rate.

  2. x 7

    What the hell is a sauna for if its not to have fun with the other sex?

    or even the same sex in some places.......

    1. Boo Radley

      Yes, I've been threatened with expulsion from saunas for having "too many boys in my room" as though that sort of action wasn't allowed. Now I'm just more discreet ha ha.

    2. Alan Brown Silver badge

      you can avoid the embarrasment of "other" or "same" by just using "appropriate"

  3. Potemkine! Silver badge
    IT Angle

    Sex sells

    And clickbaiting works

    1. Robert Helpmann?? Silver badge
      Childcatcher

      Re: Sex sells

      And clickbaiting works

      ... and so do other kinds of ...baiting, though not what was claimed in this case. I am interested in how the fine was assessed. If there was a signed agreement or if there is just something posted saying don't do this or if it is the sauna telling their customers they have to pay the sauna a fine for a civil violation or be taken to court to face charges. Being in the same room together cannot be illegal even though a public sex act might be. Proving the latter is problematic as it implies having cameras or eyes where they shouldn't be. This leaves the sauna in a position where customers can tell them to pound sand and kick rocks, which seems to be the case here.

    2. Loyal Commenter Silver badge

      Re: Sex sells

      Not if you're using an ad-blocker...

  4. macjules Silver badge

    What happens in Sinsheim ..

    Isn't Badewelt what you are left with after a session with a rather large Bavarian frau and a bunch of birch twigs?

    1. Korev Silver badge
      Joke

      Re: What happens in Sinsheim ..

      Bavarian Frau? What's she München on?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: What happens in Sinsheim ..

        At wurst she's got plenty of Frankfurters...

        1. Evil Auditor Silver badge

          Re: What happens in Sinsheim ..

          ...and at best some Wieners?

  5. 2+2=5 Silver badge

    TITSUP

    Teutonic Inability To Sauna Undressed Politely

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: TITSUP

      There is no such thing as polite or impolite state of undress in a German or Czech Spa sauna. There is a state of undress - mandatory one. It is quite often for health and safety reasons because they crank the heat to a point where a normal bathing suit will melt.

      Never been to this spa and probably will avoid it.

      I usually plot our course during my summer hols from one spa town to another. The village spas around the Black Forest work till 11pm or even 12pm nowdays so you get at least a couple of hours after you arrive. Kids onto the waterslide, me in the jacuzzi and who cares that we just clocked ~ 500 miles.

  6. Paul Smith
    IT Angle

    Mail online is over there

    Who really cares what goes on in a German sauna?

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I assume the sauna owner's legal team came steaming in with what they thought was a water-tight case but had to beat a hasty retreat when it wouldn't stand up in court

    1. Korev Silver badge
      Coat

      Did the solicitors remove their briefs?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Nah, the briefs are legal.

  8. The_H
    Paris Hilton

    Seriously?

    A story like this and no mention of a stiff penalty?

    Paris, cos...

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    how big...

    Did the changing rooms happen to be? Are they practically only big enough for one?

    That being said... I've managed friskyness in a portalooo before (it had just been rinsed and I was very drunk and she was mad..... it was fun but not something I wish to repeat) so size isn't always an issue when you're horny enough.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: how big...

      "[...] so size isn't always an issue when you're horny enough."

      That's what I always say! (But the missus disagrees.)

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: how big...

      Dogging every time. Much more fun and loads of room

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: how big...

        Speak for yourself... my first car was a nova and the wife's now got a micra. You've got no chance in either...

        That said current drive's an xtrail.

        Plenty of room with the seats down.... I wonder if the wife would be interested.. failing that someone else's...

    3. Alan Brown Silver badge

      Re: how big...

      "I've managed friskyness in a portalooo before "

      Having seen one end up on its side due to friskiness of the occupants, that's not something I'd take the risk on. (Hint, when that happens, what was "below decks" doesn't stay there)

  10. MT Field

    Sounds like they were taken to court for non-payment of the club's penalty charge. A civil case. Should've read the T&C's.

    1. Antron Argaiv Silver badge
      Coat

      ...as opposed to the T&A's...

      // all right, I'm going...

  11. sloshnmosh
    Joke

    "The legal jousting lasted minutes..."

    I saw what you did there!

  12. Stuart Halliday

    Stamp it out.

    Just what has this News got to do with Technology or Science?

    Isn't it about time The Register stopped telling us about politics or other non technological subjects? :)

    Very dull.

    1. This post has been deleted by its author

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Windows

      Re: Stamp it out.

      El Reg's true subject matter is extremely dry to most people. Allegedly titillating articles like this one draw in a much larger crowd of eyeballs, enhancing ad revenues greatly and ensuring El Reg will be with us for years to come.

      The trick is to keep it to a minimum, so as not to over-torque the core IT readers. If El Reg becomes just another sleaze merchant it will lose definition and eventually disappear, with no one even noticing.

      1. diodesign (Written by Reg staff) Silver badge

        Re: Big John

        "Allegedly titillating articles like this one draw in a much larger crowd of eyeballs, enhancing ad revenues greatly"

        This is a common misconception. Our main advertising is aimed at people coming to read the enterprise IT tech stuff. Ads that run alongside Bootnotes are mainstream and thus low CPM. We do Bootnotes stories to offer some light amusement, and keep to our tabloid roots.

        C.

        1. kain preacher Silver badge

          Re: Big John

          Wait el reg use to be a tabloid ? wait when was this ? I'm shocked. I will not be a part of this. Goes off to read the daily mail while watching fox news.

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Big John

          > "Ads that run alongside Bootnotes are mainstream and thus low CPM."

          Wait, so you guys actually earn less on non-IT stories? And if you get just a bit too raunchy, those big advertisers will shy away and undercut your business model? Yet you do it anyway? Tricky.

          1. diodesign (Written by Reg staff) Silver badge

            Re: Big John

            "Wait, so you guys actually earn less on non-IT stories?"

            The Bootnotes are a bit of fun. They're not the focus of our ad team. They're not even a traffic driver - stuff like cloud services going wrong, scandals, security cockups, operating system bugs, and so on, bring in the millions of netizens.

            "And if you get just a bit too raunchy, those big advertisers will shy away"

            That's not how it works. We sell ad space next to IT stories to IT vendors and providers. These companies want to reach technology workers, and show off their wares and solutions to folks in the industry, so that's why they direct their advertising there. Sometimes, advertisers will run their ads across the whole site. It's really up to them.

            The Bootnotes are a side channel of amusement. Advertisers know these off-topic stories are part of the site's charm and heritage. If you're flogging an SDN switch, you probably want that to appear next to networking articles for maximum relevant eyeballs. OTOH you might want to run your ad sitewide. Whatever the advertiser and our ad team strike a deal on; us journalists aren't thinking about it.

            C.

            1. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: We sell ad space

              I wonder, are you profiling my comments through a third party to sell ad space like google and Facebook?

              I've not seen any butt plug adverts so I guess it's safe.

    3. diodesign (Written by Reg staff) Silver badge

      Re: Stamp it out.

      "Just what has this News got to do with Technology or Science?"

      Nothing, which is why it's in Bootnotes. Bootnotes are off-topic fun for writers who need a break from writing about computers, software, bugs, companies, and other tech stuff. There is more to life than IT, and we're happy to provide some light relief for readers who don't want to stare at specifications.

      Amusingly, I think you're the same Stuart who ran the Acorn Cybervillage way back in the day, when I ran Acorn news site Drobe, and we clashed even back then.

      C.

      1. Mark 85 Silver badge
        Pint

        Re: Stamp it out.

        There is more to life than IT, and we're happy to provide some light relief for readers who don't want to stare at specifications.

        And a tall cold one for your efforts even if some thing beer should be a no- no. A pox on the "let's just be on topic and serious all the time) nay-sayers

        1. Alan Brown Silver badge

          Re: Stamp it out.

          "And a tall cold one for your efforts"

          ... because - GERMANY! :)

    4. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge
      IT Angle

      Re: Stamp it out.

      @Stuart Halliday

      Just what has this News got to do with Technology or Science?

      Well, if you are ever near Sinsheim (it's not far from Heidelberg) , the Auto & Technik Museum is well worth a visit. You can locate the place easily as you approach it from the 2 very big erections on the roof of the main building.

      https://sinsheim.technik-museum.de/en/

      1. Slabfondler

        Re: Stamp it out.

        Those are mightily impressive erections!

    5. Stork Silver badge

      Re: Stamp it out.

      - Very dull.

      Talking about yourself? It is under Bootnotes, i.e. anything goes :-)

    6. Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

      Re: Stamp it out.

      This IS The Register. Stories like this are what make El Reg special. It's all about balance

      That and an occasional goodly helping of fnaaarrr, fnaaarrr.

      So there

      1. Sir Runcible Spoon Silver badge
        Paris Hilton

        Re: Stamp it out.

        This IS The Register. Stories like this are what make El Reg special. It's all about balance

        I don't know what was going on behind the scenes, but a couple of months ago there was a disturbance in the force, and El Reg started taking on overtones of unnerving nature. That all seems to have died down and normal service has resumed - would love to know what actually happened.

    7. Francis Boyle Silver badge

      So what you're saying is "Down with this sort of thing"

      Sorry Ted, but the day El Reg stops covering this sort of thing is the day I start to get my technology news elsewhere.

    8. Rattus Rattus

      Re: Stamp it out.

      Spotted the German?

  13. MonkeyCee Silver badge

    Sauna's and bathhouses

    Unfortunately the sauna has suffered much the same fate as the massage has in the UK, in that it's apparently not acceptable for a brothel or bordello to exist, so there must be the appropriate euphemisms. Hence why there are now separate sections for massage therapists and those offering handjobs and a back rub.

    Thus the "gay sauna" or bathhouse is where you go to have sex with strangers, allowing for various forms of exhibitionism and voyeurism. hence why it's amusing that a couple could be fined for shagging in a sauna is a bit like a hotel hosting a swingers convention being shocked that an orgy broke out.

    Obviously this is what one would call an actual sauna, your health clubs, wellness and what not.

    If you're having trouble telling them apart, I'd go by the condoms and lube. If they hand them out, you can smash. If not, no shagging please, it's not that kind of sauna.

    The various levels of squeamishness as regards the naked form are always good for a giggle. When I was a gym rat in NZ I'd take the paper into the sauna afterwards, in order to provide a fig leaf to avoid scaring the colonials :)

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Sauna's and bathhouses

      “It's not a brothel, it's an executive health spa!” - Jean, Twin Town (1997)

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Allo, Allo

    I'm thinking knackwursts and fallen Madonnas with the big boobies.

    1. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge

      Re: Allo, Allo

      Was that Helga and Herr Flick in the sauna?

      1. MichaelBirks

        Re: Allo, Allo

        It was in Herr Flick's _Gestapo_ Sauna.

  15. earl grey Silver badge
    IT Angle

    "We sell ad space next to IT stories"

    Is that why while i was at work i would always get the big ad with the slinky half-dressed babes and wonder what that had to do with IT?

    1. Grikath

      Re: "We sell ad space next to IT stories"

      Given what Booth Babes pass off as "clothing" at IT/Tech conventions....

      B00bz are Business... And those guns aren't aimed at the *professional* IT crowd. They're aimed at the Boss who tries to avoid a Cattleprodding ( or at least ...delay the inevitable..)

  16. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
    1. Bad Fish

      Looks quite nice...

      ...but as well as the pretty pictures, the website has an 11-page pdf (in small print) listing all the things you're not allowed to do, with the penalties for each.

    2. Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

      Did you

      See the SIZE of those pineapples in the foreground of the video start frame, on the homepage?

      1. Francis Boyle Silver badge

        Not to mention

        those long knobby things sticking out of the water everywhere. I see where the couple got the inspiration.

  17. southen bastard

    Badewelt

    I want to know how did they know?

    where are the cam's located and where i PAY for the vids?

    blackmail is big in eu-grope and the UK?

    1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

      Re: Badewelt

      It's probably far more mundane than that. Some (many? most?) Germans are sticklers for "the rules", so most likely another customer saw two people going into the same changing room, they reported it to staff, or a staff member (fnar fnar) saw them go in together.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Badewelt

        If that's so, then I see an opportunity here. What about charging people to "turn in" rule breakers for "punishment?" Okay it's not BDSM, but it's as close as some Germans are gonna get to it, I suppose.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Badewelt

          Okay it's not BDSM, but it's as close as some Germans are gonna get to it, I suppose.

          I thought all Germans were into that. And everything else that would horrify an English vicar's dull daughter.

          1. kain preacher Silver badge

            Re: Badewelt

            ." And everything else that would horrify an English vicar's dull daughter."

            You might be shocked at what it might take to shock that dull daughter. Watch out for those batter cables .

        2. Alan Brown Silver badge

          Re: Badewelt

          In that part of germany, BDSM is likely to mean "Bible Discussions and Study Meetings"

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