back to article UK 'wife'-carrying champion named

Chris Hepworth has been named winner of the UK's 11th annual "wife"-carrying contest – an honour that not only bestows glory but also a £150 barrel of local ale. Beating 40 other couples, Hepworth carried Tanisha Prince to victory over a 1250ft (380m) obstacle course in Surrey. The course had hay hurdles for obstacles, a 15- …

  1. Tinslave_the_Barelegged
    Pirate

    Optional

    > with the carried person's face pointing toward the carrier's bottom.

    Err, I think I'd prefer the dislocated shoulder...

    1. LeahroyNake Silver badge

      Re: Optional

      Maybe just don't have beans the day before the event ?

      1. Tinslave_the_Barelegged
        Mushroom

        Re: Optional

        > Maybe just don't have beans the day before the event ?

        Well, if both eat beans, a certain principle of Mutually Assured Destruction may help, but it's still not worth the risk

        1. TRT Silver badge

          Re: Optional

          Depends if you carry your wallet in your back pocket or elsewhere.

    2. heyrick Silver badge

      Re: Optional

      "Err, I think I'd prefer the dislocated shoulder..."

      What happened to the wife that landed head first when the man slipped (and then landed on her)? From the videos on YouTube, looks like that hurt a hell of a lot more than a dislocated shoulder?

  2. LeahroyNake Silver badge

    ummmm

    Would it be ok if the wife* carried me** :DD

    *we are not married

    **I'm 3/4 of her weight (boob related ;)

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: ummmm

      Yes. The "wife" can be of either sex and the organizers say you don't need to be married, but it helps if you are friends.

      1. katrinab Silver badge

        Re: ummmm

        From my reading of it, the person being carried has to be a woman, but, anyone can have a wife or a girlfriend, it doesn't have to be a man.

    2. Grikath
      Coat

      Re: ummmm

      XKCD....ermmmm... https://satwcomic.com/sports-in-finland

      'nuff said... ;)

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: ummmm

      You could get your 'wife' to carry you, but in my experience some women get a bit annoyed if they're made to look like the heavier one in the relationship...

  3. Steve Davies 3 Silver badge
    Happy

    Where's the IT Angle then?

    Oh never mind. From the BBC reports it looked like everyone had fun (Apart from the dislocated shoulder that is).

    How delightfully non-PC but I'm sure the anti-fun as well as the Hinder & Stop brigade will soon put a stop to it. We can't have the plebs enjoying themselves now can we eh?

    Now is there a class for the Over 60's?

    1. A Non e-mouse Silver badge
      Flame

      Re: Where's the IT Angle then?

      How delightfully non-PC

      If the competition was strictly man carries his own wife, then you may have a point. But the article clearly said:

      "Males or females carry a "wife" (who must be at least 18 and can be male or female, and does not actually need to be the carrier's wife)"

      So it could be woman carry man, man carry man, etc. Nor do they have to be married, civil partnership or even in a relationship.

      1. Mr Han

        Re: Where's the IT Angle then?

        It's the 'wife' part that infuriates the twitterazzi. The rules are so flexible as to who may carry whom that they may as well call it a piggy-back race.

    2. Dodgy Geezer Silver badge

      Re: Where's the IT Angle then?

      I listened to a Radio 4 news chat this morning going in to work.

      The male presenter mentioned the contest, and got an earfull from the female on the grounds that this sexist rubbish made her feel sick, and should have stoped in the Middle Ages.

      Funny. I can't remember her saying that last year when 'sexism' wasn't so popular a topic for the Islington chattering classes....

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Where's the IT Angle then?

        and got an earfull from the female on the grounds that this sexist rubbish made her feel sick, and should have stoped in the Middle Ages.

        How lucky we are that the over paid under-worked over-paid arseholes of the BBC can force feed us their personal opinions, rather ignoring the endless trouble that the Bolshevik Broadcasting Corporation is in for protecting child abusers, paying its male stars more than females, amongst many other things.

        1. AdamWill

          Re: Where's the IT Angle then?

          "How lucky we are that the over paid under-worked over-paid arseholes of the BBC can force feed us their personal opinions"

          That's funny, I wasn't aware there was a law requiring you to listen?

          1. Dodgy Geezer Silver badge

            Re: Where's the IT Angle then?

            True. There is just a requirement for you to pay to support rubbish propaganda being fed to you at all times, with the penalty of jai if you don't comply....

          2. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Where's the IT Angle then?

            "That's funny, I wasn't aware there was a law requiring you to listen?"

            But there is a law forcing all uk homes to pay for the BBC.

            1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

              Re: Where's the IT Angle then?

              "But there is a law forcing all uk homes to pay for the BBC."

              You must be new here. You've obviously not the seen the hugely long discussion threads on TV licensing that appear here regularly.

          3. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Where's the IT Angle then?

            >That's funny, I wasn't aware there was a law requiring you to listen?

            Nope, just a law requiring you to pay for it.

        2. Roj Blake Silver badge

          Re: Bolshevik Broadcasting Corporation

          So is that the Bolshevik Nick Robinson you're thinking of, who was chairman of the Oxford University Young Conservatives?

          Or the Bolshevik Andrew Neil, Tory fundraiser and former national chair of the National Chair of the Young Conservatives?

          How about that well-known Bolshevik, the former Sunday Telegraph editor and current supremo of Radio 4's Today, Sarah Sands?

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Where's the IT Angle then?

        The male presenter mentioned the contest, and got an earfull from the female on the grounds that this sexist rubbish made her feel sick, and should have stoped in the Middle Ages.

        Well, if she wants equal rights, she is welcome to find a bloke above 50kg and carry him.

        By the way, the competition does not sound like much. Once upon a time when I was young, fit to an Iron Man level, stupid and did not value my back I have carried my future wife on a couple of occasions. 380m is rather short. My personal record from those days was 3.5 km and uphill (she broke a high heel on a shoe and the bloody bus drivers were on strike so no public transport). We would have been dis-qualified from this competition though as that was prior to two kids and she was 5kg+ under the limit.

        1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

          Re: Where's the IT Angle then?

          "and she was 5kg+ under the limit."

          Not a problem. Any "wife" under 50Kg was issued a rucksack filled with enough tins of beans to bring them up to the required minimum.

          1. Mr Han

            Re: Where's the IT Angle then?

            I would ask my 'wife' to eat the beans. It woukd be a little more aerodynamic without those tins and with the added bonus of rocket fuel.

      3. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Where's the IT Angle then?

        The male presenter mentioned the contest, and got an earfull from the female on the grounds that this sexist rubbish made her feel sick

        Probably sour grapes that nobody wanted to carry her, or that 50kg contestants put her at a massive disadvantage.

        I'll grab my coat...

  4. Tigra 07 Silver badge
    Coat

    "Males or females carry a "wife" (who must be at least 18 and can be male or female"

    I'm Brian and so is my wife!

    That's not my jacket i'm reaching for, it's my husbandwife.

  5. sisk Silver badge

    And I thought the rednecks 'round these parts came up with some off the wall sports to pass the time. I guess the Vikings of yester-millennia out-rednecked them.

    1. A Non e-mouse Silver badge

      You've obviously never heard of bog snorkeling...

    2. Tigra 07 Silver badge
      Thumb Up

      RE: Sisk

      Speaking of Redneck sports perhaps the Texas Testicle Festival is more your thing?

      http://nationalreport.net/texas-testicle-festival-chance-to-have-a-ball-with-jesus/

      1. sisk Silver badge

        Re: RE: Sisk

        perhaps the Texas Testicle Festival is more your thing

        I've known a lot of people who scoff at calf fries. Usually they stop once they've actually tasted them. It's a tradition born of not wanting to waste any part of the animal way back when that continues today because they're damn tasty. The fact that a lot of folks go to their first calf fry (both the food and the event of making it in bulk go by that name) on a dare is beside the point. :-P

        In short, yeah I'd be there. I don't care what they're preaching as long as they're serving calf fries. I'm not sure if that makes me a redneck or not. In fairness the ones around here are usually organized by veterans organizations as fundraisers rather than churches as missionary outreaches though.

        1. Lars Silver badge
          Happy

          Re: RE: Sisk

          "people who scoff at calf fries".

          Using the Wiki with all the nice pictures it's nothing to scoff at, and not that exotic either..

          https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Testicles_as_food

          I don't know about the rules regarding sausages today, but that was where all that stuff including udder ended up. Perhaps it's used in animal food today, but it is certainly used, and why not.

          Those of you who have read Zorba the Greek by Nikos Kazantzakis will remember that it's a very dear, or should one say rear, product you will give only a very good friend, a real delicacy.

          The film was good too, kept with the book fairly well, but not with that part. Although I read the book as a teen I can still remember how the writer expressed the look on the face of the poor animal who had just lost both.

          Bon appetit, have to try it some day.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I would be tempted to do this but I haven't talked to my wife in three weeks. – I didn’t want to interrupt her.

    1. Mark 85 Silver badge

      Oh.. you must be THAT Henny Youngman..

  7. Zog_but_not_the_first Silver badge
    Trollface

    What I want to watch...

    Is the wife-carrying cheese-rolling crossover.

    1. defiler Silver badge

      Re: What I want to watch...

      I find I carry too much (post-consumption) cheese at the best of times. Don't really want to carry more.

      Cracker, Gromit?

    2. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

      Re: What I want to watch...

      Or the wife-rolling cheese-carrying

  8. DNTP
    FAIL

    The only thing I carry

    Is my random "World of Tanks" teammates.

    That kinda explains why my "has_wife" flag is set to 0, and more or less locked on read-only.

  9. Neil 32
    Pint

    £150 for a barrel of ale. Your writer not a CAMRA member then?

    A barrel is a 36 gallon (288 pint) container. More likely this is a firkin - 9 gallons (72 pints). But then £150 for that? That's a rip-off! I've dealt with many breweries and not many firkins are into the 3-figures yet (although we are sadly getting a lot closer!) Of course, it could be a barrel in which case that is excellent value!

    1. Hans Neeson-Bumpsadese Silver badge

      Just so long as it's not a keg, regardless of size

      1. Dave 126 Silver badge

        It's likely to be an 18 gallon cask before tax. The original Finnish tradition was that you win "your wife's weight in beer" - so there was an incentive for grabbing the lightest willing adult female you could find.

        1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

          "your wife's weight in beer" - so there was an incentive for grabbing the lightest willing adult female

          No it's a complex game-theoretical problem.

          You don't want the skinniest wife because then you don't win much beer, but the heavier the wife the more likely you are to lose.

          It's like fueling pit-stop strategy back when Formula one was a competition

          1. Dave 126 Silver badge

            @YAAC,

            Yep, I meant to say there was an incentive for *not* grabbing the lightest 'wife' - but I'm glad you picked up on my main point that there was tactics involved. It seems that winning a fixed quantity of beer is watering down the cerebral nature of the competition.

          2. Dave 126 Silver badge

            I believe the original rules didn't allow you to use a man as a wife, but hey, it's the 21st century.

            Where I haven't seen women competing is in the sport of Ferret Down Trousers, in which women would have an unfair advantage. And, most likely, no desire to compete.

            Competitors wear white trousers with ferret inside, sealed at waist and ankles. No underpants allowed. No drink or drugs for either human or ferret allowed. Winner is last man wearing trousers.

            1. Grikath

              you forgot the plural there..

              Single ferret + wide trousers = happy warm-cosy naptime ( unless you ...annoy.. the ferret first..)

              plural ferrets introduced in trousers, especially if they have not been properly introduced.... Wellllllll... I can see where that might pose a problem.

  10. chivo243 Silver badge
    Mushroom

    tins of baked beans or similar!

    Estonian baked beans?

    icon, no explanation needed...

  11. Muscleguy Silver badge

    North of the Border

    Over in Fife (south of here in Dundee) they run the gender intersection non danger race of the coal carrying race (the gender of coal is something we should perhaps consult the Germans about).

    There are no obstacles just an undulating course.

    I have an unrealised desire to get fit enough to compete.

  12. 45RPM

    I’m always up for a challenge. Unfortunately my wife doesn’t want to be carried. Perhaps I should see if anyone else wants to partner me*?

    *Additional T&Cs apply. Applicants must weigh less than 12st (I know my limits), and not object to being manhandled / accidentally dropped by a middle aged bloke. Since I’m already married and not on the pull, the sex / sexuality of the applicant is irrelevant. An indifference to inevitable and ignominious defeat would be advantageous (I know my limits!)

  13. hatti

    I'd need a crane

  14. Lars Silver badge
    Pint

    Old Wiki again

    "Wife carrying (Finnish: eukonkanto or akankanto, Estonian: naisekandmine, Swedish: kärringkånk) is a contest in which male competitors race while each carrying a female teammate. The objective is for the male to carry the female through a special obstacle track in the fastest time. The sport was first introduced at Sonkajärvi, Finland.

    Several types of carry may be practised: piggyback, fireman's carry (over the shoulder), or Estonian-style (the wife hangs upside-down with her legs around the husband's shoulders, holding onto his waist).

    Wife Carrying World Championships are held annually in Sonkajärvi, Finland, since 1992 (where the prize depends on the wife's weight in beer).".

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wife-carrying

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i1la1l8gv00

    Then there is, of course, how surprising,

    Mobile phone throwing is an international sport that started in Finland in the year 2000. It's a sport in which participants throw mobile phones and are judged on distance or technique. World record holder is Tom Philipp Reinhardt from Germany with a throw of 136,75m.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mobile_phone_throwing

    And some claim Finn are so very serious people.

    1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

      Re: Old Wiki again

      "Mobile phone throwing is an international sport that started in Finland in the year 2000. It's a sport in which participants throw mobile phones and are judged on distance or technique. World record holder is Tom Philipp Reinhardt from Germany with a throw of 136,75m."

      As they get lighter, thinner and bigger screens, I wonder if the aerodynamics compensate for the lower mass? If not, then the record is unlikely to be beaten. I'm sure a nokia 5110 "mini-brick" would be better for throwing than a wide-area flat iPhone/Galaxy-like phone, unless the "slab" phones can be spun like a frisbee and get lift.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Old Wiki again

        Stephen Elop won this outright by throwing away all the mobile phones in Finland.

  15. taxman
    Thumb Up

    The Alternative one

    Perhaps a little more trying for competitors with there being a little more up and down involved....it being Wales of course

    http://www.worldalternativegames.com/

  16. Gene Cash Silver badge

    I volunteer to be Prince Harry's stand-in!

  17. ITnoob

    And this is why I, despite all of the really dumb things they do, still love human beings.

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I've got six wives...

    ...dismember them to make a whole one? Incorporating the lightest limbs.

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    £150 barrel of local ale.

    Am I the only one that read "£150" and thought...that's not much, then read "ale" and though "oh that's ok then"?

  20. Roj Blake Silver badge

    Introduced by the Vikings

    Clearly, it wasn't their own wives that our Scandinavian friends were carrying...

  21. x 7

    Lyme Regis used to have an annual Conger-Cuddling Championship

    It was a full sized version of Devil-among-the-tailors, the pins being nine people standing on drums.

    A large conger eel (or shark) was suspended from a crane, and used by the participants in turn to knock the "pins" off the drums

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conger_cuddling

    Personally I think old traditions like this should be part of the Commonwealth Games

    1. Francis Boyle Silver badge

      Billed as the most fun a person can have with a dead fish

      But I think they should replace 'person' with 'person who isn't John Cleese'.

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