back to article Facebook supremo Mark Zuckerberg has flunky tell UK MPs: Nope, he's sending someone else

Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg has once again declined to cross the Atlantic to give evidence to British MPs as part of their inquiry into social media and the spread of fake news. The UK's Commons Digital, Culture, Media and Sport Committee's inquiry is rapidly morphing into a much wider investigation into exactly what happens …

  1. wolfetone Silver badge

    "Although the committee flew out to the United States to question execs from the major tech firms last month - reportedly at a cost of £84,000 "

    And I bet the bastards didn't fly economy either, or stayed at a Holiday Inn or whatever passes for cheap accommodation in America.

    1. csecguy44

      If only futuristic stuff like video conferencing would exist...

      1. Snorlax Silver badge

        @csecguy44

        @csecguy44:"If only futuristic stuff like video conferencing would exist..."

        Ya think nobody thought of that?

        Poor Zuck's developed a bad case of social anxiety - he doesn't want to talk to anybody by video link or otherwise. Anything he says now can only dig a deeper hole for Facebook and Cambridge Analytica

        1. Mycho Silver badge

          Re: @csecguy44

          Videoconferencing is not an issue. We all know Zucky keeps his webcams covered at all times.

          1. Arty Effem

            Re: @csecguy44

            But did he remember to cover the microphones?

    2. Simon 4

      When you’re working for the CIA, and have big enough balls that you don’t care when everybody says so, you can do whatever you damn well like.

      Search aim4truth Facebook unmasked.

    3. fronty
      Mushroom

      They flew business class, the article states that. Quite why they couldn't fly economy I don't know why. It's our money they're spunking up the wall. :-(

    4. John Smith 19 Gold badge
      Coat

      And I bet the bastards didn't fly economy either,

      Remeber, for most Conservative MP's this is a step down in their usual accommodation.

      1. Dodgy Geezer Silver badge

        Re: And I bet the bastards didn't fly economy either,

        Are we working under the assumption that most Labour MPs keep coal in the bath and have to save up for a 1 week holiday in Blackpool?

        I can assure you that the modern tranche of Labour MPs are as Establishment as the rest - lots of parties in Islington with celebs and holidays on the yacht in Tuscany....

  2. Snorlax Silver badge
    Black Helicopters

    The heat is on

    He doesn't want his arse handed to him in a similar fashion to Simon Milner in Singapore:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h47QSqLp_e0

    Most striking for me is Facebook's contempt for both citizens and governments in light of recent events

    I think Zuck thinks he's too big to fail...

    1. TheMidnighToker

      Re: Dell Orange is the new Blag

      It's odd and a shame that video seems to have been extremely edited. Look at Mr K Shanmugam speaking at about 2minutes in; they might have just been cropping "umms" and pauses, but the video chops at the end of each of his sentences.

      1. Snorlax Silver badge

        Re: Dell Orange is the new Blag

        @ TheMidnighToker:”It's odd and a shame that video seems to have been extremely edited. ”

        The full interview is 3 hours long. Feel free to watch it and report back...

    2. Tigra 07 Silver badge

      Re: The heat is on

      To be fair to the sly Zucker. This is why you have underlings/minions isn't it?

      1. VinceH Silver badge

        Re: The heat is on

        "To be fair to the sly Zucker. This is why you have underlings/minions isn't it?"

        Exactly. Unless he knows exactly what's going to be asked in advance and is given time to formulate answers, he could say the wrong thing. If he does it, he has only himself to blame - much, much better to get someone else to do it.

    3. veti Silver badge

      Re: The heat is on

      I don't blame him.

      He knows the UK MPs just want to grandstand for domestic consumption: every question they're going to put to him will be one that he's already fielded from US Congresscritters, so why go through it all again?

      British MPs want their photo op, they want to be seen to be grilling Zuck. But apart from bolstering their own campaigns, what would be achieved by it?

      1. Mark 85 Silver badge

        Re: The heat is on

        But apart from bolstering their own campaigns, what would be achieved by it?

        Easy... he could be irritating Brits instead of saying here and irritating those of us in the US.

      2. streaky Silver badge

        Re: The heat is on

        He knows the UK MPs just want to grandstand for domestic consumption

        To be fair this almost never actually happens. Even when Rupert Murdoch showed up he was fairly treated. Asked tough questions and came across poorly, but he was fairly treated.

        Zuckerberg's problem is that as CEO of a fairly major organisation he doesn't seem to do public very well.

        Zuckerberg better hope that his peon can answer all the questions they want to ask to their satisfaction, parliament can hold people in contempt for not appearing and also, frankly, has the power to recommend legislation that could hurt Facebook which frankly might go down quite smoothly. Personally I'd want to ask them questions about their tax affairs and booking UK sales to Ireland to avoid (some would say evade but I couldn't possibly comment) paying tax as a more important issue but that's me.

        FWIW being held in contempt can cause issues with the fit and proper persons test that I'm sure Zuckerberg would prefer to avoid.

        1. Snorlax Silver badge
          Black Helicopters

          Re: The heat is on

          @streaky:"Zuckerberg's problem is that as CEO of a fairly major organisation he doesn't seem to do public very well."

          Watch 'Terms and Conditions May Apply' sometime; Zuck values *his* privacy:

          https://youtu.be/Yn0mglH7XLk?t=1m23s

    4. Whitter
      Devil

      Re: The heat is on

      Silly MPs. You don't want to question the CEO (except for bragging rights), or indeed, any well-trained-to-say-nothing executive.

      You want a middle-management knows-the-strategy-but-never-talks-outwith-the-company to grill. Some sucker who never thought they'd ever have to answer for what they do to anyone who wasn't just as complicit as they were.

  3. Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

    The taller they are, the harder they fall.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Surely our MPs know how corporate America works. You can't tell a billionaire what to do.

    1. Adrian 4 Silver badge

      Sounds like an excellent test for Cameron's (now May's) Great Firewall of Britain. Disconnect the UK from facebook.

  5. Dr Who

    Rule Britannia!

    Thank god we're leaving the EU. Once we return to being a small isolated island on the edge of a huge economic zone, instead of being a leading member of that huge economic zone, it'll be back to the glory days of the Empire.

    No longer will Putin be able to poison people on our soil and then give us the bird. When our defence secretary says "go away and shut up" they'll take us seriously instead of laughing their pants off - oh yes indeedy.

    And as to upstart heads of global tech giants, the only question they'll be asking when we summon them to Westminster is "how fast should I run?". You just watch, once we're out it'll be like Sampson growing his hair back. People will take notice again -you just wait and see.

    1. Valeyard

      Re: Rule Britannia!

      wtf has brexit to do with any of this

      1. frank ly Silver badge

        Re: Rule Britannia!

        Talking to yourself again?

      2. Zapdog

        Re: Rule Britannia!

        I think the Brexit comment is an interesting point of view on if Zucks would have handled this differently - whether you agree or not.......

    2. Jemma Silver badge

      Re: Rule Britannia!

      Methinks certain people haven't got the memo about satire and sarcasm.

      Either that or they can't read it without sounding out the words out loud.

      As Sir pTerry might say (after a few pints possibly)...

      "Ya know it's --ing amazing how many --ing so called intelligent people in the world make Fred Colon look like --ing Einstein..."

      Or possibly not.

      I think the point trying desperately to get out like a dragon in a cardboard box was this. The UK is hardly going to help itself in this situation by going it alone outside of Europe - we've more clout against the rednecks (oh I so mean that literally *thud*) as a part of a collective than we do as a small soggy island who's highest achievements are Noel Edmonds & the Hillman Avenger.

      1. streaky Silver badge
        Facepalm

        Re: Rule Britannia!

        The UK is hardly going to help itself in this situation by going it alone outside of Europe

        I don't know where people get this nonsense from but it isn't even worthy of satire. Every time remainers spout this crap another 20k people convert to the cause because they realise how retarded their side is.

        You may now downvote me for speaking truth.

        1. Bernard M. Orwell Silver badge
          FAIL

          Re: Rule Britannia!

          "Every time remainers spout this crap another 20k people convert to the cause because they realise how retarded their side is."

          Quite so! *slowclap*

          Now, can we have the promised £350 million per week into the NHS?

      2. Dodgy Geezer Silver badge

        Re: Rule Britannia!

        The computer that you're using at the moment is a British invention. As is the World-Wide Web...

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Rule Britannia!

      >Thank god we're leaving the EU

      It's great news, it means we can join the USA and have Porno Donnie Diggler as Pres.

      1. wolfetone Silver badge

        Re: Rule Britannia!

        "It's great news, it means we can join the USA and have Porno Donnie Diggler as Pres."

        It's gonna be 'uuuuuge.

      2. Florida1920 Silver badge

        Re: Rule Britannia!

        It's great news, it means we can join the USA and have Porno Donnie Diggler as Pres.
        Heads of state seem clueless about the digital world. Now, you take our president. Please!

    4. Marcus000

      Re: Rule Britannia!

      Sounds like someone is still bitter about how democracy works... Shame on you.

      1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

        Re: Rule Britannia!

        "Sounds like someone is still bitter about how democracy works... Shame on you."

        It's more a case of having a good understanding of how reality works.

        BTW, where's the Irish border going to go and what will it look like? And what will HMG do if the DUP don't like it? Remember, your idea of democracy depends on the approval of the DUP!!!

      2. scrubber

        Re: Rule Britannia!

        "Sounds like someone is still bitter about how democracy works... "

        You mean like how all laws have to be signed by an unelected head of state? Or how they pass through an unelected chamber for modification? Or how no government has had more than 50% of the popular vote in decades but they all claim a mandate? Or how less than half the MPs got a majority of the vote (fact check that one, I was on a roll)? Or how our fundamental rights have been demolished by a voter-minority government with a massive parliamentary majority (Blair)?

        Bitter? 3 of and 5 packets of nuts before I get off this dangleberry of a planet.

        1. Bernard M. Orwell Silver badge
          Meh

          Re: Rule Britannia!

          ""Sounds like someone is still bitter about how democracy works... ""

          What? Like how big data, bought out with big money, illegally, can be used to rig the result?

          Ah yeah, I forgot I'm not meant to be bitter about that.

    5. ToddRundgrensUtopia

      Re: Rule Britannia!

      Dr Bore yawn

    6. DuncanLarge Bronze badge

      Re: Rule Britannia!

      "Once we return to being a small isolated island on the edge of a huge economic zone"

      We have allways been an island off a huge economic zone. Digging a tunnel and having a few ferries and sharing laws did not change that.

      We kept the pound. Well I did.

      1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

        Re: Rule Britannia!

        "We kept the pound. Well I did."

        Getting rid of the pound, more's the pity, will be the price of getting back into the EU to rebuild our economy. That'll happen in a few years time when the referendum will appear to have been an extraordinary counting error on account of the fact that nobody will admit to having voted leave.

        1. Dodgy Geezer Silver badge

          Re: Rule Britannia!

          ...Getting rid of the pound, more's the pity, will be the price of getting back into the EU to rebuild our economy...

          What will we replace it with, then? Because the Euro is collapsing as we speak, and surely can't exist for much longer.

    7. Mark 85 Silver badge

      Re: Rule Britannia!

      Planning on putting HMS Victory back in the water and setting sail to wave the flag are you?

    8. Richard 81

      Re: Rule Britannia!

      Next time, I suggest using the "Joke Alert" icon. Some people wouldn't know satire if it hit them in the face with a salmon.

    9. Dodgy Geezer Silver badge

      Re: Rule Britannia!

      ...Once we return to being a small isolated island on the edge of a huge economic zone, instead of being a leading member of that huge economic zone, it'll be back to the glory days of the Empire....

      Once we return to being a free independent island outside the smothering effects of a huge bureaucratic protectionist zone, instead of being the only member of that zone which was regularly outvoted and told what to do by the vested interests of France and Germany, it'll be back to the opportunities we enjoyed in the successful days of the Empire....

      There. Fixed that for you....

      1. Bernard M. Orwell Silver badge
        WTF?

        Re: Rule Britannia!

        "told what to do by the vested interests of France and Germany"

        Yay! Now we get told what to do by the Conservatives and their cronies, big media and get to be the rope in a tug of war between the US and China instead. So much better!

        And the cons get to make up whatever laws they like without oversight!

        Ah, paradise! But, we get to be the Empire again? Do we get uniforms?

        Only complete morons think that we are taking power back to the nation. We're not. We're handing it to the psycho's who put us in this situation in the first place and removing our ability to appeal against their nonsense.

  6. Jemma Silver badge

    British government: I don't care how you get the little Zuckwit here, but get him here.

    Drag the little cretin here in chains if you have to. Do a Mossad-esque operation like that perpetrated on Eichmann if that's the only way it can be done (not that I'm a fan of the OVOC but that particular operation was perfection).

    But get the little asshole here.

    Because if he sends a minion what you'll get is what happened with Hitler pre war - Kristalnacht - "Hitler wouldn't have allowed that, he must not have known about it" was what the (particularly gullible) people said, because all they saw were the minions fronting the policy. Uncle Adi kept very quiet about the whole situation for that very reason

    What'll happen with Zuckerberg will be the same if he's not seen to be responsible - the gullible will say "the Zuckwit didn't know, he's a nice cuddly family man, he probably doesn't like smoking and gives people gifts if they stop"*. While your data is splurged everywhere and anywhere where someone will pay for it. Including individuals and organisations that you wouldn't want anywhere near your private information.

    Personally Facebook should operate under the same rules as the NHS does if not stricter. The NHS can only lose your health data after all. Arsebook has access to a whole lot more information than that and can do a whole lot more damage if they choose to spaff it out to the wrong people.

    The Zuckwit ABSOLUTELY HAS to be held responsible and be shown to be responsible - otherwise it'll happen again and again - more to the point if Facebook is seen to have gotten around it, then other companies will try the same thing - or heaven forfend the NHS (although in their case you just need to get a job as a BR carriage cleaner and it'll fall in your lap for free)

    * Hitler stopped smoking personally somewhere between 1899 & 1918 depending on which story you believe. If a smoker on his staff stopped they'd get a gift of a solid gold fob watch from Mr H personally.

    PS if you have a particularly annoying vegan or vegetarian in your life, and they're getting on your last nerve by spouting on as usual you might mention - mid rant - that Mr H was a vegetarian. That usually shuts them right up (or more accurately causes them to make similar noises to a Ford Cortina on a wet Monday morning whilst trying to recover the situation). Your colleagues/family/friends will thank you for it.

    1. wolfetone Silver badge

      Re: British government: I don't care how you get the little Zuckwit here, but get him here.

      Are you familiar with the rule that, when on the internet, you lose an argument if you mention Hitler?

      1. Jemma Silver badge

        Re: British government: I don't care how you get the little Zuckwit here, but get him here.

        Are you aware of the difference between a statement and an argument?

        Obviously not.

        The Zuckwit collective shows a lot of similarity with the Nazi one. But it's much more pernicious because it's much more universal and much more accepted (unfortunately there appears to be a higher fuckwit percentage in post war humanity) than the Nazis ever were.

        What the Zuckwit is trying to do now is what a certain Bavarian Gefreiter did successfully regarding kristalnacht, the 36 Olympics, the night of the long knives and to a lesser extent the (early) concentration camps. IE not me guv. I should probably have known but I didn't, honest injun.

        If you don't like the Big H as an example another good one is Albert "I'm really really sorry but I didn't see the memo when I signed it" Speer.

        The problem for the Zuckwit, that the two persons above didn't have so much, is the evidence. He'd have to be a political genius to sidestep that massive pile of glowing crap and he just isn't that good and he knows it. If any government manages to pin it to him, then arsebook will die quicker than a sondercommando in Jerusalem (what, you didn't know they were deliberately hunted down post war by their own people?).

        And you might want to look into the career of a certain Reinhard von Gehlen and why he wasn't at the trials if you think the allied governments weren't just as bent and twisted. Ditto the Evian conference.

        1. wolfetone Silver badge
          Thumb Up

          Re: British government: I don't care how you get the little Zuckwit here, but get him here.

          I guess your sense of humour has gone on holiday. I hope it comes back with a nice tan.

        2. Mark 85 Silver badge

          Re: British government: I don't care how you get the little Zuckwit here, but get him here.

          So a bit of "Ein Volk, ein Reich, ein Führer" maybe where Führer = Zuck, or any of the usual political or business leaders* these days?

          Ok.. I went there. Bad me.

          *I use the term "leader" in it's broadest definition and many of those who fit couldn't lead their way out of pig's mud hole.

        3. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: British government: I don't care how you get the little Zuckwit here, but get him here.

          'Are you aware of the difference between a statement and an argument'

          The statement is your headline, the argument is the rest of your diatribe.

      2. anonymous boring coward Silver badge

        Re: British government: I don't care how you get the little Zuckwit here, but get him here.

        “Are you familiar with the rule that, when on the internet, you lose an argument if you mention Hitler?”

        That’s not what the ”law” says.

        Are you aware of that?

      3. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: British government: I don't care how you get the little Zuckwit here, but get him here.

        but mention Hitler twice, and the 2nd Hitler councels the first. Then carry on, regardless...

      4. Dodgy Geezer Silver badge

        Re: British government: I don't care how you get the little Zuckwit here, but get him here.

        There ARE no rules on the Internet...!

    2. Roj Blake Silver badge

      Re: Hitler stopped smoking personally somewhere between 1899 & 1918

      In 1899 he would have been 10. At what age did he start smoking?

      1. Jemma Silver badge

        Re: Hitler stopped smoking personally somewhere between 1899 & 1918

        I've seen kids smoking younger than that but as I said there is more than one story about that and the consensus is post war (so as I said anywhere between 1899-1918/9). From what has been said he was one of those people who'd massage facts if he felt like it.. To make a point.

        It does annoy me when you get "historical documentaries" and some Colonel-general or other is smoking like the Blucher at flank speed and not a whisper - in reality the guy would have been chewing the furniture if someone smoked in his presence.

        Oddly enough there seem to be several reasons for his vegetarianism - health (which ironically might be made worse not better), Geili Raubal (the mysterious case of the knocked off neice), and several of the people whom he took inspiration from were also vegetarian.

        The thing that worries me about Facebook is its almost like a self inflicted Geheime Staats Polizei or Gestapo. People put information on it before they even think of the implications... For example, Heydrich & the rest of them wouldn't need to go hunting and trawling for Jews throughout Europe nowadays - they'd just do a search on Facebook - 90% sitting there with home addresses, relatives, the whole kit and caboodle - just jump in the Opel Blitz and hoover them up..

        Don't like the gun control kids and want to put a bullet into a few of them (plus/minus family members) - 10 minutes on Facebook, and a 20 minute road trip - job done. If you are an NRA employee the way it's going you might even be able to claim mileage and a bullet allowance..

        Intelligent, perceptive and let's be fair utterly cynical people have been saying this for years - ask me how I know - and you've shouted them down and kept on despite the warnings..

        And hasn't it just blown up in your face..

        Arsebookers - meet petard...now where did I put the jalapeño laced KY?

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Hitler stopped smoking personally somewhere between 1899 & 1918

          Don't like the gun control kids and want to put a bullet into a few of them (plus/minus family members) - 10 minutes on Facebook, and a 20 minute road trip - job done. If you are an NRA employee the way it's going you might even be able to claim mileage and a bullet allowance..

          It's more likely to be the tree-hugging libtards doing the driving and shooting. As long as it's conservative white folks BEING shot it's OK by them.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: British government: I don't care how you get the little Zuckwit here, but get him here.

      Personally I'd like to see Zuckerberg stripped naked and locked in a glass cell in the middle of Trafalgar Square, with live TV cameras pointing at it. See how he likes it.

      1. Bernard M. Orwell Silver badge
        Paris Hilton

        Re: British government: I don't care how you get the little Zuckwit here, but get him here.

        ""See how he likes it."

        Erm....what exactly are you posting on facebook?

    4. Bernard M. Orwell Silver badge

      Re: British government: I don't care how you get the little Zuckwit here, but get him here.

      Yeah, that Zuckerberg eh? Literally Hitler!

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Yo should be glad !

    At least this way there's a remote chance the person showing up has something resembling answers.

    With Zuck all of it just being more BS is a certainty.

    1. Jemma Silver badge

      Re: Yo should be glad !

      It doesn't matter if he spouts raw sewage out his mouth like a preteen in an Indian graveyard. It's not a matter of what he says (which as you say will probably be 5 parts bollocks and 5 parts waffle) it's a matter of he's been forced to be there to say it and has been forced to admit that the buck stops with him.

      Because if it's done right Facebook will be defenseless everywhere and there are several countries and governments thereof that can get a little pointed with people they don't like or trust putting their people at any sort of risk (the Israelis for one) and a lot of Police forces who would like nothing better than five minutes with a Facebook staffer, an electric truncheon and a common or garden desk drawer. I don't know of any police who don't hate Facebook with a passion.

    2. JohnFen Silver badge

      Re: Yo should be glad !

      "there's a remote chance the person showing up has something resembling answers."

      "Resembling" answers, maybe. Providing actual answers, not a chance in the world.

  8. BebopWeBop Silver badge

    If he thought he could get away with it (and I'll bet he is counting on it in the not too distant) he would tell Congress to fuck off as well.

  9. John70

    Get an extradition order out on him if the weasle won't come over.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Get an extradition order out on him if the weasle won't come over.

      If we DID send him over, you'd just send him back - so I don't see the upside for us.

      1. Jemma Silver badge

        Re: Get an extradition order out on him if the weasle won't come over.

        I'm sure MI6 could arrange for him to accidenteliberately slit his own throat in a nice pretty tourist area somewhere for some kids to find..

        Or lend him a nice big Mercedes and driver and suggest popping down to have a look at at that wonderful tourist spot known and loved as the Dartford Tunnel.. Ah, such exquisite concrete pillers - let's have a closer look..

        I think they used to call those particular chaps the "ways and (very) mean committee".

        If the worst comes to the worst I'm sure Porton has some Plague kicking about..

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Get an extradition order out on him if the weasle won't come over.

          The Dartford Crossing is rated 2 of 5 stars on www.tripadvisor.com. As an American, I'd just have to skip for more worthy spots, like listening to Big Ben.

          https://www.tripadvisor.com/Attraction_Review-g187057-d10286514-Reviews-Dartford_Crossing-Dartford_Kent_England.html

        2. Roj Blake Silver badge

          Re: Get an extradition order out on him if the weasle won't come over.

          Or they could just leave a large sports bag and a padlock in the bath for him.

  10. Julz

    Misdirection

    From the letter, "I would like to take this opportunity to also share with the Committee the outcome of out further analysis of the Countries affected by Professor Kogan's app." Any affect was only possible because Farcebook already has this data and that they shared it with all and sundry via their API. To single out Prof Kogan in this way is classic scapegoating and misdirection. Farcebook still have that data (and more) and can do with it what they wish. Are you sure it's just for slinging ads?

    Oh and also, isn't it the individuals in these countries that have really been affected. What communication and apology will Farcebook make to these people.

    1. JohnFen Silver badge

      Re: Misdirection

      To say out loud the fact that Professor Kogan engaged in misbehavior for money in now way takes away from the fact that Facebook engages in a much greater degree of misbehavior for money, nor does it take away from the fact that Cambridge Analytica engages in misbehavior for money.

      There is no shortage of bad actors to call out here.

  11. Horridbloke

    "catastrophic failure of process"

    Has there actually been a failure of process? I kind of assumed it was all working exactly as intended.

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    After the Cadbury's sellout to the yanks, didn't Parliament order some bigwig to come over and explain themselves?

    Still waiting for that.....

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The size of Britain versus the the rest of the Facebook world

    So let's assume that the empire of Her Majesty's United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland has a population of 67 million - http://www.worldometers.info/world-population/uk-population/.

    The empire of Facebook has a population of 2.2 billion (that's American billion) - https://www.statista.com/statistics/264810/number-of-monthly-active-facebook-users-worldwide/

    Do you really think that Zuckerberg honestly gives enough of a shit about a little country off the west coast of Europe to appear before a bunch of British politicians? I seriously doubt it.

    If you want get rid of Facebook, start by closing your Facebook account!

    1. Roj Blake Silver badge

      Re: The size of Britain versus the the rest of the Facebook world

      You say I should start by closing my Facebook account. But to do that, I'd have to first of all open one.

    2. Wolfclaw Silver badge

      Re: The size of Britain versus the the rest of the Facebook world

      Zuckwit probably doens't give a flying fig abou the UK, but does about his bank balance and when you start hittig that with massive fines, he will show up quicker than a TOWIE at a free lunch !

    3. This post has been deleted by its author

    4. Milton Silver badge

      Re: The size of Britain versus the the rest of the Facebook world

      "If you want get rid of Facebook, start by closing your Facebook account!"

      Which is, of course, the only meaningful thing you can do.

      But that would involve some clarity of thinking, which is ... tricky ... when you really feel that ever-more-urgent need to check, just this once, just for a second, your FB page, in case there's an extra Like for that blurry photo of your inconsequential cat, who looks identical to a million other cats, doing something that's so side-splittingly funny that there are only 50,000 other pictures on the internet showing exactly the same thing ... which ... cats ... do.

      Briefly: Why make arrangements to meet actual friends and engage them in real conversation and sharing of lives, when you could be dependent on the approval of your irretrievably banal shyte by people you've never met? Those Likes tickle your by-now-very-well-habituated pleasure centres like a few molecules of fentanyl: enjoy!

      It's up to you to Just Say No, or carry on kidding yourself.

      Politicians will not anything about Facebook exploiting you, for two reasons: first, FB employs lobbyists with a ton of cash, and your noble and wise elected representatives do rather like that money (in fact, if they're Tories, they breathe it); second, if you won't do anything about it yourself—why should they?

  14. IGnatius T Foobar

    #DeleteFacebook

    Facebook is too toxic, too big, and as a company too irresponsible (or just plain evil). It's time to take this monster down about a million pegs.

  15. J.G.Harston Silver badge

    When are they going to call in the manufacturers of air that allows sound waves to propagate to explain their millenia-long part in spreading fake news?

  16. charlieboywoof
    FAIL

    #DeleteFacebook

    I get my hoodie.

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    At least they'll get one the head honchos

    Germany's parliament committee only received the Facebook-is-great powerpoint presentation from a local rep:

    https://blog.fefe.de/?ts=a44b5bef

  18. SpinkyMuffler

    Ah. Nothing at all learned by Farcebook then

    Meanwhile, Facebook said it was changing its Login feature to reduce the amount of data an app can request to name, profile photo and email address – any more information will need Facebook's approval.

    Erm, Shouldn't that be at the users approval not Farcebooks?

    1. VinceH Silver badge

      Re: Ah. Nothing at all learned by Farcebook then

      "Erm, Shouldn't that be at the users approval not Farcebooks?"

      It should be better than that, though - it ought to be granular, with a list of all the types of things the app wants to access, with each one having the option to agree or not (defaulting to not, obviously).

  19. DCFusor Silver badge

    Never had an account

    That I can log into myself. However, acquaintances tell me I'm all over FB.

    Kind of like the credit agencies. There is no opt-out, are you kidding?

    You think they're not selling data about me or profiting off me in some way?

    They seem to love linking to my non-monetized youtube channel, just one example, and I know because I get mails and comments because of it.

    I know my picture gets tagged up there, as I'm told so by people with accounts.

    For me, that's the issue with FB and a number of other outfits.

    It's spreading too - if you're not part of the normal behavior:

    If you don't have a credit rating, you can't have a MySSA account for Social Security - you can still mail with them if you can find out the address for that exact service - at a month round trip when you find out "this office doesn't handle that".

    If you don't have a cellphone, try getting 2FA security on Google....

    In other words, if you don't let them snoop on top of what they manage even if you opt out - you can't even have security or decent government service....

  20. Wibble

    Tax the slippery bastards

    Would be nice to tax them until the pips squeak.

    They can be our (tax) product then and do something useful for once.

  21. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

    I doubt anyone who gave evidence to the committee before would want to show up here where they might be charged with contempt of Parliament.

  22. This post has been deleted by its author

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    'Facebook has revolutionized scamming.'

    https://www.bloomberg.com/news/features/2018-03-27/ad-scammers-need-suckers-and-facebook-helps-find-them

  24. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Zucky boy is not very comfortable being interrogated in public.

    At the very core, he's a nerd, and ironically, a socially inept one.

    Perhaps the Brits ask very hard questions.

    Anyhow, his interrogation in the US Congress should be a sight to behold. Get ready your popcorn.

  25. Potemkine! Silver badge

    How dare you underlings?

    Asking for the Supremo to come to you, are you insane? Who do you think you are, the US congress? Muahahahahaha!

  26. Milton Silver badge

    Why the surprise?

    1. Zuckerberg couldn't give a rat's ass about the Dumb Fucks™ unless they start leaving FB in large numbers. Like most addicts since the first taste of poppy 48,000 years ago, they'll make endless excuses to themselves ("I am in control. I could stop anytime ...") and keep on fixing up.

    2. The UK's DFs voted, 37% of them, to make the country less engaged, less influential, less effective, less powerful, less relevant and themselves and their country economically vastly weaker. The DFs' representatives, who might reasonably be trademarked as the Even Dumber Fucks™, in Westminster, are busily making a disastrous hash of this process.

    3. The EDFs, especially those in the current ruling party, have spent three centuries demonstrating that they are fawning lickspittles of anyone or anything with cash, will bend over forwards and drop their trousers for big business at a moment's notice, and will do everything conceivable to avoid regulation which would benefit the schmuck citizens, even unto prating transparent tosh about "self regulation", "industry policing itself", "market ethics" and whatever else floats into their teensy brains.

    4. Given the venality and stupidity of the EDFs and the nicely addicted, shallow gormlessness of the citizen DFs, why on earth would Zuckerberg waste a scintilla of his time posturing in front of such a circus of castrated halfwits? What would be the point? He gets paid more for picking his nose. Sitting in front of powerless commitee of self-important halfwits who have nucleated like a large human booger, will just make his nostrils itch.

    5. The US, for all that it is currently "led" by the Dumbest Of All Fucks™ , and under the sway of a laughably hypocritical, deceitful and deranged conservative party, has a history of sometimes severaly punishing bad corporate behaviour and making it stick.

    6. Therefore: Zuckerberg will appear before Congress, which has teeth and the wilingness to use them. He'll even fawn over the DOAF a bit, if it protects his cash cow. In front of the cameras he will mouth anodynes and platitudes to a bunch of fat, lazy twerps. Off-screen, Facebook's lobbyists will flaunt the contents of their wallets.

    7. In short, he knows who matters now.

    8. With luck he'll get one of his flunkies to send Theresa May a postcard saying "Facebook U".

    The acronym DOAF did not, as Wikipedia suggests, originate with "Donald, OAF".

    Banking excepted, I grant you: but when you understand how banking actually works, it is simply rotten beyond belief anyway. Even former US presidents have pointed out that if citizens knew how banking enslaved and impoverished them, they'd stage a revolution. Good job they are mostly DFs, eh?

  27. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I've never understood...

    ....why things like this don't use video conferiencing? Working at a local government IT department for several years, even that department still doesn't use such tech and forces it's staff or managers to travel miles to other sites. It's stupid.

    I still think Mark has anxiety issues when it comes to doing talks like this. He's OK and promoting Facebook but I don't think he'd be good at being questioned hence he never agrees to these talks.

    I still say, if you use Facebook that is a service that cost a lot to run but you're using it for free, you can't really moan what they do with your data.

  28. HmmmYes Silver badge

    Where are all these people who've been omni present for the last 5 odd years?

    Always on the front the paper (Zuckerberg).

    Always making a big thing about being a woman (Sandberg), with a dead husband, etc.

    Oh we'll do this, Im great, Im a humble billionaire wank.

    Where are they now?

    Wheres the justisfication for their vast remuneration?

    Earn your money cunts.

  29. Craigie

    Get Zucked

    What right do those MPs think they have to compel an American company's CEO to appear before them exactly?

  30. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    we would still like to hear from Mark Zuckerberg as well

    court order, extradition order, jump suit, and he's on the next cattle-truck flight to London, no?

    ...

    oh, I see.

  31. Spike of Bayswater

    Zuckerburg - Won't pay tax and won't visit

    This all seem perfectly in line with the Facebook approach to the UK - if he and his company won't pay taxes here, then why would he take advantage of our public services by visiting a bunch of public sector drones seeking to gain favourable publicity whilst filling their otherwise dreary days? After all, this what empires do: suck out money whilst contributing little.

  32. adam payne Silver badge

    Meanwhile, Facebook said it was changing its Login feature to reduce the amount of data an app can request to name, profile photo and email address – any more information will need Facebook's approval.

    Shouldn't that be the approval of the person using it?

    1. Bernard M. Orwell Silver badge

      "Shouldn't that be the approval of the person using it?"

      I think there may be a misunderstanding here. I think what FB is saying is that if you submit an app to Facebook for use by Facebook members, then, if that app has a requirement for more data than name, photo and email, it will need further approval by Facebook before launch. Of course the end user can always refuse privileges to an app at the point of installation/use (at least in theory, eh?).

  33. Duffaboy
    FAIL

    Not Surprising

    If you were Mark Zuckerberg would you be bothered to face an committee of toothless MP's who will not have a significant impact on your billion dollar business ?

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