back to article Age checks for UK pr0n site visitors on ice as regulator cobbles together some guidance

Smut gazers today breathed a sigh of collective relief as UK government delayed controversial age verification checks for online porn – because the new regulator set up to oversee them still hasn't issued guidance. The checks, which will require people to prove they are over 18 in order to view web-based filth, were meant to …

  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Yay!

    A few more months of spanking the monkey to look forward to then!

  2. Blockchain commentard Silver badge

    All the good stuff is hosted overseas anyway. Er, so my mates have told me !!!

    1. msknight Silver badge

      That won't save you. Even if it is hosted overseas, if it is being viewed in the UK then it must comply. Or it will be blocked.

      Yes... I know.

      1. John Smith 19 Gold badge
        Childcatcher

        Papieren, Mein herr.

        A stupid, stupid plan thought up by stupid people is stupid.

        Who knew?*

        * But as usual this has f**k all to do with TOTC or any other bu***hit about "protecting the public."

  3. Zippy's Sausage Factory
    Meh

    That last paragraph just made me wonder... do any of the Tory politicos pushing this deluded nonsense have shares in companies that sell VPN services, I wonder?

    1. wolfetone Silver badge

      I think some of the Tory politicos still think it's the 19th Century.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        "I think some of the Tory politicos still think it's the 19th Century."

        Some?

        Actually, you may be right. Rees Mogg & pals seem to think it's the 17th.

        1. Dodgy Geezer Silver badge

          Good place, the 17th century. Lot better than nowadays. Shakespeare was still around...

          1. Rich 11 Silver badge

            Lot better than nowadays. Shakespeare was still around...

            So was smallpox.

            1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

              "So was smallpox."

              Bollocks to that! There was no Andrex back then!!

          2. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

            Good place, the 17th century. Lot better than nowadays. Shakespeare was still around...

            And your chances of dying of unpleasant diseases was much, much higher than today. Indentured servitude was still around and women faced childbirth mortality many, many times higher than today. Children often were not formally named until their first birthday becuase they had a much, much higher chance of dying before then.

            Yes - life was OK if you had lots of money and didn't get ill. Other than that, not so much.

      2. Dazed and Confused

        while of course the other camp still think it's 1970s, so not only no Internet but no power no.... the list goes on. Sod it they're all as bad as each other and none of them have the faintest clue.

    2. Redstone

      They do seem keen to push everyone towards using VPNs, which kind of defeats government data slurping - unless all VPNs are run by the NSA and GCHQ....oooh that could be a great 'fake news' conspiracy theory: if only I had an Arsebook account.

      1. Adam 52 Silver badge

        "using VPNs, which kind of defeats government data slurping"

        VPNs are great for government snooping. They provide a cryptographically provable link from browsing traffic to a payment method.

    3. veti Silver badge

      I assume that, like pretty much all laws in this area, this one is designed to increase the market for some kind of porn or other.

      In this case, maybe they have shares in nudie magazines.

  4. tiggity Silver badge

    The whole idea is just stupid

    Given that online data has a disconcerting habit of being "hacked"

    I assume any verification process would need either credit card details (legit or purchased off dark web..)

    Or maybe want scans of some ID such as passport / birth certificate etc. (all of which are nice tasty items for identity theft)

    The verification companies could receive the data securely (lets hope their https set up spot on and no MITM issues)

    Ideally they would then verify the ID data and then ensure no local copies of it retained .. but in reality you just know copies of some data will magically end up being retained

    Not a great prospect if MindGeek become dominant in this - they have previous of their data being hacked / badly secured.

    How on earth will this work on the likes of newsgroups, sites with mixed content (e.g. reddit has some stuff you do not want kids to see, but most of it is "inoffensive")

    1. Anonymous Noel Coward

      Re: The whole idea is just stupid

      I believe it was established previously that this fucking farce wouldn't be implemented on sites like Twitter or reddit.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: The whole idea is just stupid

      "[...] credit card details (legit or purchased off dark web..)"

      or "borrowed" from parent or older sibling. There's no card swipe - so just needs access with a pen and paper for a couple of minutes.

      1. Stevie Silver badge

        Re: The whole idea is just stupid

        Won't the kids just pop round to their local Home Despot and watch pornhub content on the nearest fridge door anyway?

      2. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

        Re: The whole idea is just stupid

        o just needs access with a pen and paper for a couple of minutes

        Or two seconds with a smartphone camera.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: The only working option*.

      Would be for a government authority, or outsourced one ;) , to give out "keys" for access.

      Then no ID leaks, just the key if there is an error. They still know who has keys and who does not though, and it is their list now.

      *I said working, any other quality of the scheme is left down to the reader to discern!

    4. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

      Re: The whole idea is just stupid

      How on earth will this work on the likes of newsgroups

      Lets not bring rational thought or reality into this. Something Must Be Done!

      The Daily Fail commands it, egged on by that paragon of morality and rectitude that is The Sun.

      (Overwhelmingly, Government policy is driven by not wanting to see sensationalist headlines in the daily red-tops. The idea of "publish and be damned" seems to have fallen out of favour, as does the idea of making rules on a rational basis.)

    5. reprobate

      Re: The whole idea is just stupid

      "Ideally they would then verify the ID data and then ensure no local copies of it retained"

      In an ideal world, that would be so. But like so many ID checks introduced by HMG, the checker has to be able to prove that they have undertaken the check by producing on demand a copy of the checked document to the appropriate Government Inspector or to Mr Plod himself. So let us reword it for HMG reality to read:

      "Ideally they would then verify the ID data and then ensure local copies of it are retained indefinitely"

  5. Anonymous Noel Coward
    Big Brother

    I was wondering...

    As someone who’s paid for legal content from an overseas (Japanese) website; if the website gets blocked because it refuses to impliment an AgeID system (And why should they? The UK doesn't have any jurisdiction outside of the UK as much as it like think otherwise.) am I entitled to compensation from somebody for paying for a service I can no longer access or… or what?

    1. FrogsAndChips Bronze badge
      Holmes

      No one forces you to continue paying once the site is blocked, so good luck with your claim.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        In the case of sites like Naked News - which isn't porn, but will still painted with the nudity is literally Hitler brush - you can actually buy a lifetime account for a one time payment of $99. So he does actually have a point.

        And one other website I can think of, either you buy into a subscription model for $300 every six months or you can buy 480 tokens for videos, which works out at six videos if you do the math ($75/video). The former would be more cost efficient, but it takes over two years to access all content via levelling up.

        Anyway, if someone did that, they'd lose the remaining money because they wouldn't be able to utilize the tokens anymore.

        Also, while he could cancel his payment, it doesn't change the fact he's paid for a service he can't access. So he wasted one month's worth of money.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        How do you cancel a subscription on a site you can't access?

        1. FrogsAndChips Bronze badge
          Facepalm

          Re: cancel subscription

          Huh, I don't know, you anticipate maybe? Blocking won't come into force before end of year apparently.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: cancel subscription

            So people aren't allowed to have their own perversions unless they're approved, huh?

            1. FrogsAndChips Bronze badge

              Re: cancel subscription

              So says the Ministry of Fun.

              1. Anonymous Coward
                Anonymous Coward

                Re: cancel subscription

                "So says the Ministry of Fun."

                I figured that'd be the Ministry of Love...

          2. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

            Re: cancel subscription

            "Huh, I don't know, you anticipate maybe? Blocking won't come into force before end of year apparently."

            And this new policy has been advertised....where exactly? I guarantee you that 99% of the UK population have no idea this is coming.

            1. FrogsAndChips Bronze badge

              Re: cancel subscription

              I personally think a lot of subscribers will be aware this is coming (but I'm not gonna make up any statistics). A quick search shows recent articles on a large spectrum of online news sites.

    2. Adam 52 Silver badge

      The thing about sovereign governments is that they are just that, sovereign. So they can do what they want and you don't get compensation.

      You didn't get compensation when they banned hunting in Royal forests, when they banned hand guns or when they banned pictures of Samantha Fox.

      The slave owners' compensation was a sop to get the Act through parliament.

      1. Anonymous Noel Coward

        Good point. I forget that the government are a bunch of criminals.

      2. FrogsAndChips Bronze badge

        Re: sovereign governments

        IANAL, but things aren't so black and white. In most modern democracies (for the sake of argument, I will make the bold assumption that the UK system is one), there are some safeguards to ensure that people aren't totally spoiled. New laws can't generally have retroactive effect, and the government should compensate you if they decide that your house needs to be put down to make way for a hyperspatial express route.

        That said, once again, I doubt that the right to watch online smut anonymously is such a fundamental right that you'd be compensated for the loss of your subscription.

  6. Only me!
    Facepalm

    Gov and modern tech....not a match made in heaven!

    It is like trying to ban electric from the power supply because someone used it to power their PC for hacking!

    1. ahnlak

      Re: Gov and modern tech....not a match made in heaven!

      "It is like trying to ban electric from the power supply because someone used it to power their PC for hacking!"

      For God's sake, don't go giving them ideas.

  7. John Styles

    Just as well the government doesn't have to implement 100s of new processes / systems / procedures in a hurry in the next couple of years then.

  8. Aitor 1

    VPN

    I always use a vpn and private sessions.. as I do not want either google or the gov to know what porn I watch.. and I suggest everyone to do at least this in the UK.

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "develop alternative solutions to AgeID"

    Already exist. Check out AVSecure as a blockchain based anonymous age verification system. Pay a fiver to a shopkeeper for a physical token and use it to register anonymously.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: "develop alternative solutions to AgeID"

      " Pay a fiver to a shopkeeper for a physical token and use it to register anonymously."

      How does that verify the age of the person - assuming they are actually buying it themselves? Fines for shopkeepers selling to kids?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: "develop alternative solutions to AgeID"

        It works the same as any other age restricted product in a shop. If the shopkeeper doesn't think you're old enough to buy $product then they ask for ID.

        The important thing is the shopkeeper can't see the serial number of your registration card, so although they know that you bought one, they don't have the information to identify that you spent the next week surfing sites dedicated to naked Jedward impersonators.

        1. chivo243 Silver badge
          Facepalm

          Re: "develop alternative solutions to AgeID"

          Let me see about this... I can but these tokens at x number of shops? Do they communicate who bought a token? I can buy x number of tokes... sell them for 2x to desperate viewers.

          Sounds like scalping concert tickets in the end...

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: "develop alternative solutions to AgeID"

            If you're planning to set up a black market supply of porn tokens to children, I'd warn you that you're likely to end up on the sex offenders' register or something. Probably one of those orders where you have to tell the police 24 hours before taking a shit or go to jail.

            1. chivo243 Silver badge

              Re: "develop alternative solutions to AgeID"

              children, no way!! but those adults that can't or won't provide their *ahem* actual personal details. I'm sure there will be people out there who can't prove what is being asked, they still need love too!

  10. caffeine addict Silver badge

    If a site doesn't comply, presumably the government will add the URL to the naughty list along side the pirate bay. An action countered by thousands of proxies appearing overnight and people who wanted to do naughty things using a VPN to grab the magnet link.

    I wonder if anyone has any stats on how the number of torrent download bytes per month changed after TPB was "closed" to the UK...

    I'd guess it make basically feck all difference. Same as these stupid laws will. I expect the LGBTQ+ community to explode if Tumblr goes behind an AVS wall. Wordpress and Blogger the same.

    1. iron Silver badge

      Hopefully they will be using the exact same system. I can still access TPB and all the other supposedly banned in the UK torrent sites without using a VPN.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Blocking TPB

        Yeah, let the idiots keep thinking that DNS resolution (or lack of) means it's disconnected from the internet.

  11. Wolfclaw Silver badge

    Lets see how long before the GDPR is broken, too much valuable data not to be misused !

  12. nethack47

    Is this why I get so much ads for VPN providers. Thought it was for watching media in other regions but this makes more sense.

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    How is Porn Harmful

    I remember going through puberty. Girls were just other people and I Ignored most of them. Then overnight I noticed how shapely they were. I could not stop thinking about them. Every waking moment was filled this thoughts about girls. Every woman was seen through different eyes. Porn meant something instead of just pictures of boring body parts. I became obsessed and it was not my fault. Naturald hormones had kicked in. I read that this flood can be stopped or delayed with drugs but it is 100% natural process and a part of growing up. All children will go through it. It is the drive that ensures the next generation is born. No regime has ever stopped it. So all this 'protect the children' bollocks is nonsense. You can't fight nature. Today's internet porn is yesterday's magazines and videos. Good luck with beating Mother Nature.

    1. 's water music Silver badge

      Re: How is Porn Harmful

      Being serious for a moment, I understand one concern is that over-stimulation from teh pr0nz and excessive onanism can cause issues with sexual response IRL. The sheer ubiquity of digital porn makes the potential scale of this sort of thing a different issue to earlier generations.

      Others raise concerns over the depersonalising effect of the tropes of a main-steam porn monoculture on the many splendoured spectrum of behaviours and practices that is human sexuality as well as the commercialisation of the same.

      Also, the risk friction burns.

      1. Tsurotu

        Re: How is Porn Harmful

        Whatever happened to individuals blacklisting sites using software... :-/

        Why is it that adults are being punished for parents inability to understand how to block sites that their kids see?

        If I recall, there are auto opt-in age-restricted filters on mobile ISPs already, left over from the last time the government tried to fiddle with the pronz...

      2. tiggity Silver badge

        Re: How is Porn Harmful

        Previous generations may have had access to less imagery, but they had access to some.

        Aside: You have to look closely through what dead relatives leave behind when you are having to tidy up their affects, so inhering family members all get a fair share and nothing of sentimental (or financial) value is accidentally binned - found some WWI era pr0n in a tobacco tin of a male relative who served in WWI, it was amongst war memorabilia of theirs so I assume it accompanied him to war zones.

      3. Halcin

        Re: How is Porn Harmful

        Being serious for a moment, I understand one concern is that over-stimulation from teh pr0nz and excessive onanism can cause issues with sexual response IRL.

        Correlation is not causation. Did the researchers look for, or exclude alternative explanations? Like, for example, the individual "over-stimulating" so he/she can get the "dirty deed" over and done with asap to minimize the risk of being caught? er no. None of the published research I've seen have made any attempt to consider or exclude alternatives.

        The people conducting what little research there is, started with the assumption that porn is bad and went looking for "evidence" to support their assumption. That's called confirmation bias

        This sounds like PPPs trying to justify their puritanical attitudes with pseudoscience.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: How is Porn Harmful

          Porn is harmful because it turns out people would rather masturbate than fuck an MP. MPs are quite understandably distraught at the harm caused by not fucking MPs and they intend to legislate to ensure poor sex starved MPs can get a good seeing to on demand without having to pay for it.

          1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

            Re: How is Porn Harmful

            "Porn is harmful because it turns out people would rather masturbate than fuck an MP."

            MPs get to fuck all of us at once and put the lube on expenses.

      4. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: How is Porn Harmful

        Being serious for a moment, I understand one concern is that over-stimulation from teh pr0nz and excessive onanism can cause issues with sexual response IRL. The sheer ubiquity of digital porn makes the potential scale of this sort of thing a different issue to earlier generations.

        I think that this argument is predicated on the idea that when one starts with "normal" porn (plain sexual congress) one does eventually seek out more, uh, "complicated" porn as the plan vanilla stuff just doesn't quite do it like it used to. I know that my recreational viewing habits have trended towards the more fetish-dense and/or extreme end of the scale as I have gotten older but I don't see a problem with that at all. The brain seeks and values novel input - it only makes sense that you need to ratchet up the kink-o-meter from time to time.

        That said, I would much rather have sex with another person than man the pumps solo. I suppose some people might get "hooked" on self-love and completely eschew sex with others but frankly I can't really find fault with that. Unless they're jacking or jilling off in an inappropriate place what harm does it cause really? Is there a societal interest in making sure that people don't crank one out too much? What would be the basis for that?

        IMHO, porn is how you test-drive a fetish or kink - if you keep jerking it to toe sucking videos then maybe you like toe sucking and should try it out with your partner. And with the volume of porn out there, especially the home-made variety, you can find exactly what floats your boat with a simple search.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: How is Porn Harmful

          "IMHO, porn is how you test-drive a fetish or kink [...]"

          "Women on Top" by Nancy Friday was written as a study of women's sexual fantasies. The vast majority of them were apparently something they would run a mile from in real life.

          Fantasies are safe versions of what could happen - and cover all spheres of our daily activities. Our imagination is something we learn to use at an early age.

          That is not to say they can't be mental rehearsals to acclimatise to the idea of how to approach something different.

    2. Natalie Gritpants

      Re: How is Porn Harmful

      Is "beating Mother Nature" a euphemism?

    3. JimboSmith Silver badge

      Re: How is Porn Harmful

      Today's internet porn is yesterday's magazines and videos. Good luck with beating Mother Nature.

      I've seen school kids on the bus going home who are sharing porn. They swap images and videos via Bluetooth and WiFi. It only takes one child in a school with access to porn on the Internet and it will spread that way. One of my mates sat his boy down when the kid had a few page 3 in his bedroom and had started to take an interest in girls with a copy of Health and Efficiency the nudist magazine. He had a sensible chat saying that the pictures of women who appeared in porn/page 3 were not realistic. He then produced H&E and said that this was more like reality. His son now understands that whilst there is porn he knows it's mostly fantasy he'll be seeing.

      1. JimboSmith Silver badge

        Re: How is Porn Harmful

        Strangely at university the women I knew were more into porn than the men. Although back then hardcore was still illegal and the thrill of watching something naughty might well have been the driving force.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: How is Porn Harmful

          "Strangely at university the women I knew were more into porn than the men."

          In the 1970s the UK "man" magazines became apparently totally unrestricted in poses. Many women bought them - ostensibly for their boyfriends. They also liked to compare the models to themselves - especially the models who were not professional. "Mayfair" and even "Penthouse" had pictures of women who had been in the right place at the right time to be scouted for just one appearance.

          Women also had "Playgirl". Many of my women friends found it a novelty but not of particular interest to them.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: How is Porn Harmful

        "He then produced H&E and said that this was more like reality. "

        I had the impression that H&E had had criticisms in the past that they were fairly selective about the people in their pictures - compared to what was normal on a naturist beach or at a naturist swim. Amazingly H&E is still being published - apparently for over 100 years.

        On the other hand Health&Efficiency gave at least the 1950s generation the airbrushed impression that women had no nipples or pubic hair. Can't remember if the whole body was a flat grey surface devoid even of a navel. The USA was very keen on removing navels from sight. IIRC Mrs Peel had to wear a large gemstone to cover hers in an episode of "The Avengers".

        Children of naturists grow up with no illusions about their body image when compared to others. In that respect the changes at puberty are no big deal - as they see their pals of both sexes go through that phase.

        I suspect a lot of kids these days have never seen a live naked person. In the 1960s nudity was generally a taboo. There were interesting exceptions. The compulsory communal showers after PE and games at secondary school were much the same as our fathers enjoying the luxury of the post-war pit head showers. In the 1990s my godsons' schools allowed the use of just a blast of Lynx deodorant.

        In the 1960s the Kibblestone Scout Camp swimming pool was also a costume free area - if there were no women present. Swimming trunks in those days took forever to dry. The same for Sea Scouts swimming off boats. IIRC the YMCA pools in the USA were also compulsorily no costumes.

      3. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: How is Porn Harmful

        I've seen school kids on the bus going home who are sharing porn. They swap images and videos via Bluetooth and WiFi. It only takes one child in a school with access to porn on the Internet and it will spread that way.

        Putting my (relatively new) old fart hat on for a moment, I see that nothing has changed since I was at school.

  14. 's water music Silver badge
    Paris Hilton

    opportunity knockers

    Perhaps we are at the at the dawn of a renaissance of analogue pr0nz. There must be some fire-sale priced magazine printing plant up for sale from all of the other print mags slowly going bust. Might be a good time to invest.

    Also investing in research into age verification on road-side hedge access could be a way of hedging (do you see what I did there) your risks in the next business cycle after that.

    Gaze at her while you still can -------->

  15. The Nazz Silver badge

    Offensive content

    If the Govt want to limit the exposure to offensive content could they kindly ask the BBC not to report anymore of the outpourings of that offensive twat Vince Cable.

    How desperate can one man get?

    Am i over 18? Well, i'm old enough to remember (whether correctly or not i do not know or care) a former liberal leader biting his own pillows.

    Oh, and a collie finding the Jules Rimet trophy.

    Jules Rimet trophy, wtf is that, ok let him have a look.

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Pint

    Thank God!

    A friend of a friend asked me to post on their behalf.

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    BBFC's public consultation

    aka how do you want to be shafted? Through the fig leaf? Done!

    1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

      Re: BBFC's public consultation

      To get a proper selection of responses, will they be taking out ads on all the porn sites so the public are aware that they are to be consulted? Or do they mean, by "public", only those vested interests?

  18. Velv Silver badge
    Big Brother

    Don't you see where this is going...

    ISPs will eventually be required to block all sites deemed "in scope" by the government. This may be porn, or could be any other site the government has promised to stop children viewing (I'm thinking gambling will be next).

    Anyone wanting to visit a "in scope" site will need to sign in to the Government portal with their Government Gateway ID to get access.

  19. Julian 16

    Or should it be "Age checks put on hold until after May local elections?".

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      "Or should it be "Age checks put on hold until after May local elections?".

      Or should it be "Age checks put on hold until after May loses local elections?".

      I would expect Jeremy Corbyn to be equally authoritarian. That he had an affair is no guarantee of libertine attitudes - John Major mounted his "Family Values" campaign while he was having it off with Edwina Curry.

      1. Adam 52 Silver badge

        "John Major mounted his "Family Values" campaign while he was having it off with Edwina Curry."

        In the interests of accuracy; John Major was having an affair with Currie whilst they were backbenchers, many years before the Back to Basics campaign.

  20. EricM

    Silly legislation implemented completely imcompetently ... Welcome to Britain 2018

    Mindset of the 60's paired with utter incompetence and fear-mongering that marks todays politics.

    Ministry of Silly Walking was not meant as a how-to ...

  21. bexley

    this is going to be least effective possible option that they could have gone with

    Does anyone really think that this is going to stop anyone going to pornhub?

    Kid´s old enough to want to look at online porn are old enough to circumvent this preposterous legislation.

    The old political tactic of just banning everything because they cannot work out a viable solution like, oh i dont know, educating people, enforcing the natural order of things that make parents responsible for their own children, locking down kids devices, but most of all, educating them and affecting real social change from ground up.

    This is not going to work and I can´t believe that they are actually going ahead with it.

    1. Roj Blake Silver badge

      Re: this is going to be least effective possible option that they could have gone with

      "Does anyone really think that this is going to stop anyone going to pornhub?"

      Considering that it's Pornhub's owner who run the BBFC's preferred verification scheme, I would say that it's designed to increase their market share.

      What irks a lot of the smaller studios is that Pornhub also hosts a lot of pirated content - they will in effect be subsidising the people who are already destroying their revenue streams.

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    it´s not pay sites though, no teenagers are paying for porn

    In fact very few people are paying up front for porn, pretending that kids are not just going to the many pornhub clones which are ad driven is extremely unhelpful if you are really trying to do something about kids accessing porn.

    If I, as an adult, want to continue to watch porn i´ll just use a vpn rather than some stupid age check system and i fully expect that the kids will all do the same or use one of the many proxies that will no doubt appear very soon.

    Don´t they have technical advisors in government anymore? why are they not listening to them?

    1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

      Re: it´s not pay sites though, no teenagers are paying for porn

      "Don´t they have technical advisors in government anymore? why are they not listening to them?"

      No, they all pissed off when they got IR35ed.

  23. Stevie Silver badge

    Bah!

    They blinded me with guidance ... GUIDANCE!

    And thrilled me with security breach.

  24. David 45

    Nannies

    Blowed if I would give any age verification to some anonymous purveyor of smut! Having said that, this UK government seems intent on having as much control over the internet as the mad Chinese, with their daft encryption back-door ideas (pinched from the Yanks, I'll be bound) and the nanny attitude to this sort of material in this day and age is appalling. Good parenting is the answer to keep children away from it and I thoroughly resent being told what I can and cannot watch in the privacy of my own home, especially if it does not affect anybody else. The sooner the lovely Theresa, Amber, et al, realise that they are elected to serve the people and are NOT there for their own agendas, the better.

  25. mark l 2 Silver badge

    I predict the whole idea will be dead in the water in under a year, once they realise the scale of what they are proposing. The BBFC at current perhaps has a few 1000s movies to classify a year, this number of pr0n website goes online every week.

    As others have pointed out, Blogspot, Twitter, Reddit etc will be exempt from having to have age checks and therefore what is to stop an under 18 viewing porn for free from those sites?

    Perhaps the BBFC will use a bot to look for Mindgeek age verification code on a website to see that it has implemented age verification, in which case no doubt some webmaster will just use code detect when the BBFC bot visits and show it a fake age verification page or redirect it to a blackhole or SFW site.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Yeah. Their thinking is just nuts. They're talking about banning 50 sites a year. There's thousands of small porn sites out there. You think some milf in Ohio is going to add a load of ID stuff for the UK specifically?

      "internet porn" is just this new generation thing. I grew up with fears over video nasties, video games and rap music. In a decade, it'll all be forgotten.

      Either some people are very naive, or it's all for show. The odd site gets blocked with a press release and people think the government is doing their job.

  26. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    So....

    ...more prostate issues coming to an NHS department near you soon. With less easy access to porn, less yanking of the blank means more prostate issues.

    "Protect the children". Those same children that know their way round the internet more than any idiot politician who doesn't understand that this WON'T work.

    What next, age verification on sex education sites?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: So....

      "What next, age verification on sex education sites?"

      Sex education: Schools 'should promote celibacy', says Church of England.

      quote:

      Schools should promote celibacy and abstinence as "positive life choices", the Church of England says.

      The act of refraining from sexual activity is part of the Church's advice for sex education lessons.

      [...]

      The Church of England believes marriage is "the perfect context" for any form of sexual expression.

      The blog, written by the Church's chief education officer, the Rev Nigel Genders, follows the Church's response to a government consultation on relationships and sex education.

      He said its guidelines stem from an understanding that healthy relationships and sex are "good gifts from God and should bring joy".

      /quote

      That reminds me of many people in pre 1960s England who couldn't have sex unless they were married - often at 21. With no sex education at school or home - they often ended up with two quick kids and trapped in a strained relationship. Oh - I forgot - in the pre-wedding meeting the vicar gave them a talk on such topics according to his Church's expectations.

      Most of the thirty-something youngsters I know now had a fair bit of sexual experience since their teens. I know because they treated me as a font of knowledge on occasions. Two or three longer term relationships - without any contraception slips - gave them some idea of what was needed for compatibility with their now long term partner.

  27. poohbear

    Manifesto

    I'm not a Brit... so please remind me which political party had this bright idea in their election manifesto?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Manifesto

      Unfortunately most of them have at some time or other.

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