back to article Bosch and Daimler jump in together on driverless vehicle tech

Bosch’s Connected World conference opened with a demo of its automated valet technology. Though the firm’s chief exec, Volkmar Denner, drove the car up to its drop-off point, the self-parking mode failed to engage. That hitch aside - clearly the backup plan of cutting to a prepared video had been well rehearsed*, and if you …

  1. Aladdin Sane Silver badge

    interacting with technology more important than human relationships

    That's most of the El Reg commentards.

  2. wolfetone Silver badge

    "Though the firm’s chief exec, Volkmar Denner, drove the car up to its drop-off point, the self-parking mode failed to engage."

    You're driving it wrong.

    1. jmch Silver badge
      WTF?

      " the self-parking mode failed to engage"

      I'm surprised this is even a thing to show off. I'm not an avid follower of all things automotive, but I believe self-parking has been in production cars for a couple of years now, I know for sure at least the latest Qashqai, and Fords for a year or two ago have it, so I would sort of assume that the higher-end cars like Mercedes have already had this for 2-3 years now. Any petrolhead on the forum who can clarify?

      1. David Beck

        MB have had it for years

        My 2009 reg A-Class has it. Works okay. Has a mode that detects if a space is big enough to fit as well as actually park the car. The driver controls petals and follows instructions, car handles steering. Only really useful if you are crap at parallel parking.

  3. }{amis}{ Silver badge
    Pirate

    Track Record......

    Lets hope their driver-less car safety testing is more honest than their diesel testing.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Track Record......

      Maybe they'll use monkeys?

  4. John Sturdy
    WTF?

    A "new friend"? "Your plastic pal who's fun to be with?"

    1. Uncle Slacky Silver badge

      Does that mean Bosch are a bunch of jerks who'll be the first against the wall when the revolution comes?

    2. bazza Silver badge

      I'm predicting that a million gallon vat of custard will suddenly up end itself all over them.

  5. EarthDog

    Free self driving car!

    Just sign this EULA over here absolving the company of all blame in case of an accident and permitting it to harvest and sell your personal information. You know, like how often you got to fast food restaurants or pick up booze at the liquor store.

  6. Bill M

    Automated DIY

    If Bosch concentrated on perfecting automated AI DIY tools then I could spend more time in the pub at the weekend.

  7. Pascal Monett Silver badge
    Flame

    "No single company can build the Internet of Things itself"

    No, but they can royally screw it up perfectly well on their own.

    1. Chemical Bob
      FAIL

      Re: "No single company can build the Internet of Things itself"

      But he's right - The Internet of Things is such an Incredibly Vast Multishambles that partnership *is* a key part.

  8. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge
    Facepalm

    Wot no cured pork products?

    “Say you wanna make a casserole but you don’t have bacon, you want to make it with lamb,” said Bosch’s Stefan Hartwig. “Mykie can adapt your recipe for you. It can set the oven to the right temperatures.” ®

    You mean Bosch don't produce a connected fridge that will re-order provisions automatically via your usual online grocery?

    Or perhaps Mykie could instruct your self-driving car to make a stop at the local grocery store when you are coming back from work, and email you a shopping list...

    1. Sorry that handle is already taken. Silver badge

      Re: Wot no cured pork products?

      They'll never beat this or this.

  9. southen bastard

    With so few auto bingles hospital will have to lay off staff cuss accidents at home are not covered by auto insurance

  10. ThatOne Silver badge
    Facepalm

    And then it drove off to the setting sun...

    OMG. Did I hear right? You step out of your car and then it drives off to find a parking spot on its own?

    Given many people have trouble finding their car even if they parked it themselves, this will definitely be fun. Not.

    (On the bright side, there might be a new business opportunity: "We find your car - call 123456")

    1. Sorry that handle is already taken. Silver badge

      Re: And then it drove off to the setting sun...

      That's when you call your car and ask it to return, surely?

      Or more likely flag it from the mandatory mobile app, which gives it your current location.

      1. ThatOne Silver badge
        Devil

        Re: And then it drove off to the setting sun...

        > That's when you call your car and ask it to return, surely?

        That's when you try to call your car, only to discover your phone battery is flat...

    2. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge

      Re: And then it drove off to the setting sun...

      and what happens when the car park is full?

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    This should scare people

    Since auto parking has been around for some time and should not even be an issue, it's failure to engage should be a perfect example of why the autonomous vehicle (AV), environment and IoT is so vulnerable by being totally unregulated.

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