back to article 'There was no monetary incentive for this' = not what you want to hear about your tattoo

A database admin liked Brit database tools biz Redgate Software so much that he decided to become a walking billboard and get the company logo tattooed on his arm. Fast forward nine years and his world imploded. Sort of. Rodney Landrum sporting the old logo We will pay for its removal, marketing peeps told the admin... …

  1. disgustedoftunbridgewells Silver badge

    Not being a sailor, I don't really get tattoos anyway, but this guy is clearly off his rocker.

    Tattoo-gun-wielders should be required to turn people away who are clearly insane.

    1. Voland's right hand Silver badge

      Tattoo-gun-wielders should be required to turn people away who are clearly insane.

      What makes you believe that they will remain in business if they do?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Sanity is relative.

        I knew a woman who got uncontrollably excited whenever she got tattooed, so she married a tattooist. Sensible choice if you ask me.

        1. Michael Thibault

          "I knew a woman who got uncontrollably excited whenever she got tattooed, so she married a tattooist. Sensible choice if you ask me."

          The empire of the senses; no edges, but it's finite.

          Unfortunately, he's doomed forever to bringing his work home with him. Not so sensible a choice for him.

  2. Edwin

    what about

    The Mersenne prime?

    1. Nunyabiznes

      Re: what about

      I thought it was their (US local) phone number when I first saw it, but they list an 866 toll free number on their site.

      1. Loyal Commenter Silver badge

        Re: what about

        He should just have gone with int.MaxValue

    2. RickMartin

      Re: what about

      Maximum value of a 32 bit integer.

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2,147,483,647#In_computing

      1. petethebloke

        Re: what about

        I didn't look closely - I just assumed it was his prison number. I used to teach HTML in one of Her Maj's institutions and will forever associate tattoos with baseball caps, rollies, big muscles and bad complexions.

    3. Simon Harris Silver badge
      IT Angle

      Re: what about

      "The Mersenne prime?" - assuming that was his intention.

      Or he might have future-proofed his ink better if instead of having 2147483647 tattooed on his arm, he'd had MAXINT (or the appropriate symbolic representation in his favorite language) tattooed instead.

      When 64-bit ints become ubiquitous, I don't fancy his tattooist having to rub that out and replace it with 9223372036854775807.

      1. Simon Harris Silver badge
        Facepalm

        Re: what about

        When you discover that in the time between

        last refreshing and pressing Submit everyone

        else has made the same comment ---------------------------->

      2. find users who cut cat tail

        Re: what about

        > When 64-bit ints become ubiquitous

        Which will be... about ten years ago?

        Sure, if you see C int it is most likely to be 32bit. But 64bit ints are ubiquitous (except on microcontrollers, but there your integers can be even smaller than 32 bits).

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: what about

      2

      Not much of a tatoo

  3. Aladdin Sane Silver badge
    Pint

    Good on Redgate

    Have a beer.

  4. wolfetone Silver badge
    Headmaster

    "True to his word, Galbraith agreed to pay for the new version of the tramp stamp to be placed alongside the old one."

    Pardon me, but a "tramp stamp" is a tattoo located on the lower back, just above the bottom.

    1. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge
      Coat

      Pardon me, but a "tramp stamp" is a tattoo located on the lower back, just above the bottom.

      I thought those were "arse antlers" ?

      1. Paul Kunert

        Mea culpa. You'd have thought a man from Croydon would know this... but it seems your correspodant needs to brush up on this particular sub-culture. Best, Paul @ The Reg

      2. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

        I thought those were "arse antlers" ?

        Well if you want to be all politically correct ....

    2. Spacedinvader

      I thought it was a tat on the back of the neck. Oh well, TIL

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      >but a "tramp stamp" is a tattoo located on the lower back, just above the bottom.

      Does it include a barcode or QR code? Just in case..

  5. deadlockvictim Silver badge

    wow (in surprise and exasperation)

    The title says it all really.

  6. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

    "El Reg just hopes Oracle doesn’t buy Redgate because Landrum might then be accused of copyright theft and that only ever ends well."

    It'd cost him an arm and a leg.

    1. Korev Silver badge
      Joke

      For that old tat?

  7. Seanmon

    Tit.

    That is all.

    1. Sir Runcible Spoon Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: Tit.

      You should have gone with tit-for-tat :)

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Looking at the quality of his tattoos, I think its refreshing to see that there are opportunities for the blind/partially-sighted in the tattooing industry.

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I've got a tattoo of Ajit Pai on my backside, you can see it if you look between the cheeks.

    1. NewX
      Coat

      best tattoo per George Carlin

      The word "Mom" on the backside, with the sphincter serving as the "o"...

      After receiving a great BJ simply raise knees to chest to indicate "Wow"

  10. Swiss Anton

    Life changes, tattoos don't

    I've never understood why people get tats, for starters there is the pain.

    Then there is fact that in ten years time "I luv Tracy" doesn't seem so cool now that you're married to Trevor (and for the record it was actually Tracey with an e!)

    As for those who get some unintelligible script tattooed down the side of their torso, (Mr Beckham?). What if, despite the tattoo artist saying it meant "We all live in harmony", it actually said "I'm a F*****g T**t"?

    Maybe a simple "Mum" would safe. Well yes, that is until the day you bludgeon her to death in an attempt to inherit her fortune. After that, having "Mum" tattooed on your upper arm might be a problem.

    Please don't do it, buy a dog instead. Whilst a dog isn't just for Christmas, it isn't for life (hopefully) .

    1. FlossyThePig

      Re: Life changes, tattoos don't

      Standing in a queue at the checkout of a supermarket in Italy the woman in front of me had the two words "seriously moody" tattooed on the back of her neck.

      1. Anonymous IV
        Thumb Up

        Re: Life changes, tattoos don't

        > the woman in front of me had the two words "seriously moody" tattooed on the back of her neck

        In blue ink, I hope?

        1. Dave 126 Silver badge

          Re: Life changes, tattoos don't

          Anton has a point: those tattoos have really held back Mr Beckham's otherwise promising career and rendered him unattractive to all women.

      2. Alan Brown Silver badge

        Re: Life changes, tattoos don't

        > "seriously moody" tattooed on the back of her neck.

        Some people could do with "Poor impulse control" tattooed on their forehead.

        1. Michael Thibault

          Re: Life changes, tattoos don't

          "Some people could do with 'Poor impulse control' tattooed on their forehead."

          Ultimately, the overwhelming majority of tattoos amount to exactly those words. True thurts!

          1. Is It Me

            Re: Life changes, tattoos don't

            It is a reference to a Neal Stephenson book, Snow Crash I think

    2. Wulfhaven

      Re: Life changes, tattoos don't

      It's certainly for life for the poor dog.

      1. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

        Re: Life changes, tattoos don't

        It's certainly for life for the poor dog

        Some dogs actually enjoy life with their pack y'know. Even if most of the pack have claws and their version of barking sounds more like "meow".

        And then there's the cats..

    3. LucreLout Silver badge
      Happy

      Re: Life changes, tattoos don't

      I've never understood why people get tats, for starters there is the pain.

      Surely you must have heard the phrase "Pain is temporary, regrettable tatoos are forever".

      I don't have any tatoos, but I do like the idea of a well drawn tatoo. "Forever" loses some of its potency after 40, when you start thinking about it as being "the next 25 - 40 years".

    4. Alan Brown Silver badge

      Re: Life changes, tattoos don't

      "Whilst a dog isn't just for Christmas, it isn't for life (hopefully) ."

      I hear they make a tasty lunch.

      1. Pedigree-Pete
        Joke

        I hear they make a tasty lunch.

        @Alan Brown. WOW! You have a dog that cooks.. I'm coming round for dinner with a camera. PP

    5. Tom Samplonius

      Re: Life changes, tattoos don't

      "As for those who get some unintelligible script tattooed down the side of their torso, (Mr Beckham?). What if, despite the tattoo artist saying it meant "We all live in harmony", it actually said "I'm a F*****g T**t"?"

      I agree. Mr Beckham has been ruined by his tattoos. He is worth a meager $450m. He made only $65m in 2015. He's basically a pauper. He spent £2m renovating his home. £2m? What did he do? Throw some sawdust down? I mean you don't need to fly stonecutters in Sicily, but come on.

  11. Antron Argaiv Silver badge
    WTF?

    Zune

    I'm sure we all remember "Zune Tattoo Guy"....

    // can't understand the motivation

    1. Dave 126 Silver badge

      Re: Zune

      What else was he ever going to be famous for?

  12. Jim Mitchell
    Alert

    Why has the progress bar not progressed in all these years?

    1. DNTP

      It's emulating a Windows 10 PC trying to download and install an HP printer update for a Verizon account holder who just unknowingly hit his secret invisible data cap.

      1. kain preacher Silver badge

        Stop right there, all you had to do is say HP printer driver. I have a 238 meg HP driver for XP.

      2. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

        hit his secret invisible data cap

        You still have those in right-pondia?

        (Shakes head sadly).

        1. Prst. V.Jeltz Silver badge

          I have nothing against tattoos but I have a serious hatred of progress bars. Thats the last thing I'd get tattoed on. Id rather have a qcode that said "Tramp"

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Progress bar

      Every five years he goes in to his tattoo artist and gets another square filled in on the progress bar.

    3. Mooseman Bronze badge

      "Why has the progress bar not progressed in all these years?"

      If ought to have a time left of 10 seconds if it's Microsoft

    4. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

      Why has the progress bar not progressed in all these years?

      It's a Microsoft progress bar. It's been reading 30% all these years and one day it'll suddenly jump to 100%. I suspect that the morgue attendant will be quite surprised.

  13. Cynic_999 Silver badge

    When my son was 14 he threw a tantrum because his mother and I would not permit him to get a "spongebob squarepants" tattoo. Now that he's 30 (and still without tattoos) he gets into a cold sweat thinking about the situation had we allowed him to have what he wanted. Thing is, no matter what your age, what seems like an excellent thing to have tattooed today will probably be an embarrassment in 10 to 20 years' time. Leave it until you're 75. It will still be a shit idea, but you won't be regretting it for so long.

    1. Johndoe132

      Yes, this...

      Exactly my attitude to the darn things. Well said Sir; have an up-vote.

    2. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

      Leave it until you're 75. It will still be a shit idea, but you won't be regretting it for so long

      Especially if the tattoo is "If this arrow isn't pointing upwards, please call an ambulance".

    3. Prst. V.Jeltz Silver badge

      When my son was 14 he threw a tantrum because his mother and I would not permit him to get a "spongebob squarepants" tattoo. Now that he's 30 (and still without tattoos) he gets into a cold sweat thinking about the situation had we allowed him to have what he wanted. Thing is, no matter what your age, what seems like an excellent thing to have tattooed today will probably be an embarrassment in 10 to 20 years' time. Leave it until you're 75. It will still be a shit idea, but you won't be regretting it for so long.

      I dunno , when i got to middle age I thought "hmm , theres no situation I've ever been in where i would have been embarrassed by a tattoo in a coverable location.

  14. OrneryRedGuy
    Headmaster

    Ints are still 32-bit

    For everybody who wants to correct this guy's ink: remember that on the x86-64 architecture (and others), ints are still 32-bit.

    If you're going to mock somebody over something like this, save it for the poor sod whose arm reads '255' or '32767'.

  15. unwarranted triumphalism

    Time that employment (and welfare benefits) were placed out of reach of anyone with a tattoo, or anyone considering one.

    1. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

      @UT.

      Well done. Still maintaining your air of complete disregard for societal norms.

      Now - have you done your homework yet? Remember, it's a school night so it's early bedtime.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Tattoos just indicate you are owned by someone else.

        Societal norms in the thirties included fascism which was rather fond of tattoos. Just because the crowd likes it doesn't make it right. Modern day norms include Brexit and Trumpo IMO.

    2. LucreLout Silver badge

      Time that employment (and welfare benefits) were placed out of reach of anyone with a tattoo, or anyone considering one.

      Why? Everyone does not have to live the same life.

      I could be persuaded that anyone getting tats on their face and hands should face restrictions on unemployment benefits, but having a tatoo that fits under a suit does not seem to be any of my current or future employers business. That being said, you could make the same claim for those morbidly obese, or who didn't try hard at school, or whatever...... So while I could be persuaded, if you have a credible argument, you've not presented it yet.

      (I don't have any tatoos, but I understand why some people do)

    3. Champ

      >Time that employment (and welfare benefits) were placed out of reach of anyone with a tattoo, or anyone >considering one.

      I've noted all the sniffy "well, aren't tattoos jut stupid" comments, without needing to reply. But this one got my goat.

      For the record, I'm in my mid-50s and earn (and have always earned) a respectable salary, doing respectable work for respectable organisations. Quite why I should be barred from this because I have a couple of tattoos (one of which is over 30 years old, and *no*, I don't remotely regret getting it) completely escapes me, unless it's because you, Mr "unwarranted triumphalism" want to impose your personal narrow view on what people can do with their own bodies.

      Don't like tattoos? Fine - don't get one.

    4. Loyal Commenter Silver badge

      I believe the OP's post qualifies, literally, as body fascism.

      Since when did you get to define societal norms to your liking? Maybe you should judge people on their actions, rather than on their appearance?

      FWIW, I have no tattoos myself, but several family members and friends do, including the retired Physics Professor, and the Microbiologist who works for the local water supplier. I'm sure you'd feel perfectly safe drinking the water once they sacked their microbiologist...

      1. Prst. V.Jeltz Silver badge

        "Don't like tattoos? Fine - don't get one."

        I have a memorial tattoo. Its big . dont regret it at all.

        I think Da Kidz today have gone a bit nuts though, not thinking twice about copying brain dead morons from the Reality shows and getting their huge ill thought out patterns on their necks and other permananetly exposed parts done . and the redon with ugly cover ups.

  16. handleoclast
    Coat

    Tattoos are useful

    In the summertime (what little we get around here) tattoos help me distinguish tourists from locals. The women are wearing short-sleeved. Women tourists don't have visible tats. Local women do. When the circus pays its annual visit, they have an untattooed lady, and the audience gasps in amazement at such a thing.

  17. MrKrotos
    Paris Hilton

    What a cock womble

    That is all

    Paris.... because she is another one

  18. Potemkine! Silver badge

    O..M..G

    Each time I think to have fully embrace the stupidity of the Human Kind, there's another story to prove me I'm wrong.

  19. Francis Boyle Silver badge

    "so when his wife suggested he add Redgate’s brand, it made sense to him"

    The disturbing thing is that it made sense to her.

    Then again, the fact that she married Florida Man might explain it.

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