back to article Apple: The exclusive sales channel for an, er, AI toothbrush

Word reaches us of an, er, AI-driven revolution taking place in dentistry but you’ll only be able to get you hands on Colgate’s Smart Electronic E1 Toothbrush from Apple as it is the exclusive sales channel. This week, The Verge reported the mega move to readers and asked, “Would you believe there’s no Android app?” And never …

  1. m0rt Silver badge

    Wonderful. You would think that an approach to creating toothbrushes that were not so problematic to dispose of were more sensible use of any research time. But no. Let's stick AI on a product and watch these puppies go.

    Well done, Colgate. And Apple. You truly are visionaries.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Give Colgate their due - they have identified the only sales channel, with its associated customer base, likely to have any chance of shifting over-priced and over-hyped tat like this.

    2. macjules Silver badge

      Not buying it unless I know that it has edge to edge brushes, that the fanboi edition comes with tooth recognition and cordless recharging.

      Oh and it must have a camera in case I have an urgent need to post a picture of my teeth on Instagram.

      Oh, and I noticed that while you can buy it through the Apple Store, you can't return it to them.

  2. Dwarf Silver badge

    I despair

    Having to worry about your toothbrush's compatibility with your mobile phone / tablet - what a time to be alive

    Any guesses how long it will be before it needs a firmware update to fix a security flaw, or we find out that its telemetry has been spying on us and saying when the best time to stuff adverts in our faces.

    I'm wondering how well the user interface will work - the screen will presumably be wobbly given that there is a toothbrush connected to your skull and its vibrating away like mad.

    Does it also add the term "you're brushing it wrong" to the Apple list of reasons things don't work ?

    First world problems that we can do without.

    1. Lusty

      Re: I despair

      To be fair, this isn't the first connected toothbrush. I've had an Oral-B with Bluetooth for years which allows custom brushing plans and connects to a phone to get various data in/out and to your dentist. Never had firmware or compatibility issues and it works stand alone so that wouldn't be an issue anyway.

      It hasn't really offered any value over a non-connected toothbrush though. I only got it because it was bundled with 3 years worth of heads, making it cheaper than the cheap version in a TCO comparison.

      Now that I've written that down I'm more concerned with the fact that a TCO is necessary for such an item these days than I am with RoTM or plastic waste...

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: I despair

        I was immediately reminded of Rhod Gilbert's "The Man With The Flaming Battenberg Tattoo". In that, he does an excellent section where he rages about a smart electronic toothbrush that his girlfriend bought him for Christmas. Very funny, and worth a listen (it's on Spotify)

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I can't see them selling many of these unless the're really good and people hear about them by word of mouth,

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      I'd want a sound recommendation, and not just someone paying lip service

    2. Warm Braw Silver badge

      They're hoping to generate a lot of buzz online...

      1. m0rt Silver badge

        I think most people will just brush the idea off...

        ...either that or bristle with indignation.

    3. macjules Silver badge

      Most are a bit too long in the tooth for that sort of thing.

  4. CAPS LOCK Silver badge

    I have an earlier incarnation of this. The Colgate/Omron joint development...

    It's more difficult to use and does a worse job than my OralB 600 Pro, which cost UNDER TWENTY EARTH POUNDS! The Colgate/Omron brush was 138UKP. I think that explains the Apple tie-up?

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    If I'm brushing my teeth wrong and need an app with AI to correct myself what other things am I doing wrong? Maybe I'm wiping my arse wrong and going back to front should be the other way round. I could also be bashing the bishop in an unsatisfactory way. I'm just glad they've now found a use for AI.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      "I could also be bashing the bishop in an unsatisfactory way."

      Telemetry for that has already been used - and the companies' knuckles tapped.

  6. Natalie Gritpants

    Cheaper to pay for a trip to the dental hytgenist

    They will show you how to brush plus scrape off all the crap that been accumulating.

    1. Semtex451 Silver badge

      Re: Cheaper to pay for a trip to the dental hytgenist

      You seem to know a cheap dental hygenist

      1. MonkeyCee Silver badge

        Re: Cheaper to pay for a trip to the dental hytgenist

        "You seem to know a cheap dental hygenist"

        The toothbrush is 140 quid. My hygienist is about 40 quid for 25 minutes.

        Maybe the Apple approved hygienists are more expensive :)

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    150.00+ for a toothbrush. 1100 odd for an iphone. In the bathroom, with ceramic sinks, tiled floors etc.

    Anybody else think this is a bad idea?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Not as bad as making toast in the bath.

  8. sjsmoto

    Meh. Let me know when there's a tiny Roomba for your mouth that works while you sleep.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      There are certain ladies that would welcome that.

      1. DJV Silver badge

        Damn you, sjsmoto said "mouth"!

  9. Tigra 07 Silver badge
    Pint

    A question...

    What happens when icloud gets hacked and the Chinese/Russians/NSA have all your dental records?

    1. jake Silver badge

      Re: A question...

      What do you mean "when"?

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Well, now waterproof mobes makes more sense...

    ... but if falls in the toilet, it can still be an issue...

  11. Joe Gurman

    “Would you believe there’s no Android app?”

    I guess Colgate marketing execs figure all Android users have teeth that are totally rotted from crystal meth use, so what's the point?

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    16 Brushing Zones?

    I have two: by the basin and on the toilet. Depending on how half asleep and bleary-eyed I am...

    1. jake Silver badge

      Re: 16 Brushing Zones?

      Depending on how half asleep and bleary-eyed you are, I'd be mighty careful when brushing your teeth on the toilet.

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    I assume if uses Bluetooth?

  14. jake Silver badge

    I've been meaning to get me something like this!

    Right around the arse end of never.

  15. gnasher729 Silver badge

    I actually saw an advert looking for an iOS developer to write software controlling a "smart" toothbrush. And I thought: What if I get in a conversation, someone asks my what I do for a living, well, software development, and then they ask: What kind of software? And then I imagined their reaction when I say "software for toothbrushes".

    I never applied. Didn't even check how much they were paying.

    1. Joe Werner Silver badge

      > And then I imagined their reaction when I say "software for toothbrushes".

      One of my former students went on to develop software for electric shavers, some... ten years ago that was.

  16. Spoonsinger

    Escape Pod EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush

    http://escapepod.org/2007/07/19/ep115-conversations-with-and-about-my-electric-toothbrush/

  17. Pat Harkin

    I have a Philips Sonicare which does this

    And works with both iPhones and Android. The robo nanny element has certainly improved my morning routine but whether that translates into better dental care remains to be seen.

  18. Mahhn

    next up

    AI toilet paper...

    If people are so dumb they need help brushing their teeth, there is no hope. Maybe they will be like vapes, and explode lol.

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