back to article If you won't use your brain our machine will use it for you, Nissan tells drivers

Nissan reckons it has developed technology that will allow you to control cars of the future with your brainwaves. The Japanese carmaker is touting its so-called Brain-to-Vehicle (B2V) tech, which it says it will demo in full at the CES trade show in Las Vegas next week. Exec veep Daniele Schillaci said, in a company …

  1. Dwarf Silver badge

    Emissions

    Unlike VW, this sounds like emissions of another type.

    Just trying to work our if its bovine (marketine) or genuine

  2. Mark 85 Silver badge

    So it's reading the brain and acting on "certain" signals. I take it that if the mind wanders... to say "look at that store, I should pull over and go in", the car might start reacting? Or "there's that a**hole from the pub... I could run over him."... it could start acting?

    Not much out there tech wise so I wonder what the reality of this really is.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Cars controlled by brain waves you say? What could possibly go wrong I say? Oh look a squirrel! and smash.

      1. Captain Scarlet Silver badge
        Mushroom

        Being stuck in traffic and trying not to have the thought of trying to ram everyone out of the way.

        I think I would prefer not to have my brainwaves read, it'll end in more road rage incidents.

    2. albaleo

      Not much out there tech wise so I wonder what the reality of this really is.

      I suspect you are more tech wise than the marketing folks at Nissan. (Visions of Nissan engineers groaning.)

  3. TrumpSlurp the Troll Silver badge
    Trollface

    Mad idea?

    Madcap idea Shirley?

    Commendable restraint.

    1. annodomini2
      Trollface

      Re: Mad idea?

      I doubt this came from the ZF tech centre at Shirley

  4. Daedalus Silver badge

    Calendar check

    Is it April already?

    Actually those who want brain control of devices would do well to check out that famous episode of The Outer Limits, "The Man With The Power". Not to mention a certain SciFi classic movie starring the man that you must not call Shirley. And I am being Sirius.

    1. cs9

      Re: Calendar check

      Consider that this publication is based in the UK where April Fool's day lands on January 4th.

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Obvious marketing bollocks like this is so f***ing annoying

    NT

  6. sjsmoto

    I'd much more like wearing VR goggles that makes it look like I'm driving in Mad Max while the car is actually driving safely to the destination. THAT would be "exciting and enjoyable.”

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Your idea appears in The Marching Morons. In that future, the vast majority are too stupid to be allowed to drive fast, but their cars are smart enough to allow them to think they are in control. The cars are also designed to provide tactile feedback of great speed and power, keeping the dummies amused.

    2. Shane 4

      Don't need VR goggles for that, Come to Melbourne(Australia)!

      You get to play dodgem cars everyday on your way to work and home again.

      Also you get to see the odd fight(road rage) incident right before your eyes, And depending on how well you can control your emotions you might also be a star in one of those incidents.

      Most of the 4WD/SUV owners already think they are in Mad Max, Because they drive around in Toorak tractors/tanks thinking they can do as they like.

  7. Sgt_Oddball Silver badge
    Terminator

    As An owner of a Nissan

    I'd really they rather not.... this comes on the back of giving myself a minor heart attack over stalling in cold weather (automatic handbrake didn't release quick enough) to light up a ton of stuff on the dashboard (looked like a Christmas tree.... well it was the season and all that). Turns out after a number of safety features turned themselves off that all it needed was an ECU update. So very reassuring.....

    For the record it's complained of the proximity alert turning off the collision detection off a few times since but.... well turning it off and back on again seems to do the trick. Not what you want on a not inexpensive car.

  8. getHandle

    Sheesh

    Round here drivers' brains struggle to keep up with reality, so a car second-guessing their intentions sounds like an accident waiting to happen!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Sheesh

      It will be easy to tell which cars have this feature; They'll be the ones jinking all over the road in stops and starts, with an unhinged driver quivering at the controls.

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    If this was Audi or BMW I might believe it as they are extensions to a mans manhood anyway. Indicators still won't work though.

  10. Bill M

    I already use my brain to control my car

    I already use my brain to control my car, via the physical interfaces [as in the limbs, hand and feet] provided to me by my maker.

    1. Muscleguy Silver badge

      Re: I already use my brain to control my car

      As a biologist I just wish to gently point out that you had two makers. Since you are here we can assume you are not young enough to have three makers through mitochondrial transplantation.

      But two are required. At the moment, advances in making sperm from skin cells notwithstanding.

      1. Sgt_Oddball Silver badge

        Re: I already use my brain to control my car

        You're never alone with a clone....

  11. abedarts

    So useful when the cars is driving itself

    By the time this is ready for production the 'driver' will be relaxed in the back seat reading, sleeping or watching the scenery go by.

  12. Chris G Silver badge

    Rosy future

    Will this technology be able to detect and react to a tall looney berating and beating it with a rose bush?

    Or better still, detecting a car thief and talking him into nicking the Audi parked next door.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Rosy future

      "Or better still, detecting a car thief and talking him into nicking the Audi parked next door."

      I detect you want to steal a car. You wouldn't like me, I'm rather slow. But there's that Quattro next door. Would you like to to program a key with its security code? I have to listen to it every morning, it's driving me nuts. Ha Ha. Or I could post your photo on Facebook with your present location and dial 999.

      1. Christoph Silver badge

        Re: Rosy future

        "You wouldn't like me, I'm rather slow. "

        But wait for my big brother to come along ...

  13. Sureo

    Kill ..... Kill ....

  14. Adam 52 Silver badge

    Firefox

    Do you have to think in Russian?

    1. Oengus

      Re: Firefox

      No this is from Nissan, you will have to think in Japanese.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Firefox

        No, you have to turn Japanese. I really think so.

  15. Kevin McMurtrie Silver badge
    Stop

    Engage brain to start car

    Nissan's US car commercials all prominently feature the car's ability to not slaughter pedestrians and crash into stopped cars while the driver is daydreaming. I'd prefer that those people not be able to drive in the first place.

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    supercriticality

    Why not just have the car keep making random course adjustments, making it much harder to control, thus ensuring the driver has to concentrate on actually driving. AIUI, they used a similar system for some fighter jets a decade or two ago.

    1. Putters

      Re: supercriticality

      My Humber Super Snipe used to work on that basis. Total concentration required to just go in a straight line. Tired steering box, high power steering assist (1960 factory fit) to completely deaden any feedback through the wheel, and crossplies on the road. 2 hrs driving was the limit before mental exhaustion forced a rest stop.

      1. Chris G Silver badge

        Re: supercriticality

        That's why the old Super Snipe had a boot big enough to fit a kitchen range into it, so that you could make a nice relaxing roadside cup of tea.

        The closest thing to that afterward was the Rover Coupe, since then nothing.

  17. Flocke Kroes Silver badge

    For Supertuxkart only please

    When I anticipate possible danger I move my foot over to the brake. Most of the time I do not need to press brake, but I am ready if the car that pulled out in front of me stalls, or the car about to turn right decides to wait for a bigger gap. With this new technology, I would have to keep my foot on the accelerator and hope complex software will detect my intention to stop if a possibility I anticipated actually happens.

    Inflicting this tech on drivers who only react instead of anticipate will just cause them to pay even less attention. (And the next penguin to drop their bubble gum by the big barrel gets a sink plunger in the face.)

  18. kain preacher Silver badge

    What if the car decides to take over ?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      If a car can take over then it already has taken over. The driver just doesn't know it yet.

  19. Peter2 Silver badge

    Am I the only person to want a safe and boring driving experiance rather than an "exciting and enjoyable" experiance?

    1. DropBear Silver badge

      I'm not sure I would want "exciting" but I'd certainly prefer "enjoyable" and at least "mildly challenging" to the boring "trans-Siberian railway" experience where you inevitably fall asleep somewhere along the thousand-mile dead straight. Getting to drive my car is already the only enjoyable part of most of my days anyway...

    2. Flere-Imsaho

      Sounds familiar somehow...

      The phrase “to make the drive even more exciting and enjoyable.” reminds me of the marketting division of the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation.

      Share and Enjoy!!!!!

  20. M7S

    And what do men apparently think about every seven seconds or so....

    That will be all, thank you

    1. Francis Boyle Silver badge

      Their stomachs

      With this tech you'll never be able to drive past a McDonald's again.

  21. Ottman001

    Great stuff. If it hits the brakes when you experience an "oh-shit" moment, the consequences of leaving the iron on could get a hell of a lot worse than merely burning down your home.

  22. wallaby

    It'll cost me a fortune

    My car will be pulling into every pub carpark on the way home

  23. mr-slappy

    Black (rear-view) Mirror

    Is Charlie Brooker writing Nissan's press releases now?

  24. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Thinking about what's out there ... will lead to disaster

    Not a good idea, will lead to disaster. Guy I worked with a few years ago told me, He was riding a moped, turned to look at a co-ed walking on the sidewalk, and ran right into the back end of a parked car. He dumped the moped right away. He claimed it was too dangerous to drive. But if he had an automobile where "humans could use 'signals from their own brain to make the drive even more exciting and enjoyable.'" he wouldn't make it a hundred meters down the road before his car's excitement reached the crash-and-burn level.

  25. Pascal Monett Silver badge
    Coat

    "an electrode-laden skullcap"

    Aaannd there goes the ladies market. What with the hairdresser at $80 a pop, if you think a woman is going to leave the salon and put that thing on you've got another thing coming.

  26. IGnatius T Foobar

    Atari tried this decades ago

    Atari tried this decades ago.

    [ http://www.atarimuseum.com/videogames/consoles/2600/mindlink.html ]

    It turned out most of the action was controlled by wiggling your eyebrows. I suppose wiggling your ears may have done something too. In the end it didn't really go anywhere.

  27. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge
    Paris Hilton

    phwoar

    screeeeeeech.

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