back to article Amazon to make multiple Lord of the Rings prequel TV series

Amazon's television limb has announced it will make multiple series based on J.R.R. Tolkien’s the Lord of The Rings. The company says it has “acquired the global television rights” to the books and has made a “multi-season commitment” to the property Amazon doesn't plan to remake LoTR itself. Instead the company says it will …

  1. Kevin McMurtrie Silver badge

    Running up stairways of falling rocks

    The Peter Jackson series of movies were popular because they were entertainingly terrible on an epic level never seen before. It was like Jackson was boasting, "Yo, Raimi. This is how it's done! <mic drop>" It was all fun but I don't want to see another Tolkien-inspired movie for at least another decade.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Running up stairways of falling rocks

      You won't have to. The books are all used up, time to get some writers in here and brainstorm some new plots!

      Okay, the Silmarillion is rather dry base material, but hey, that never stopped them before! I foresee an endless string of mini-plots revolving around elf-dwarf sex scandals, fear-mongering about new wyrms from the north, and all those swarthy eastern immigrants showing up unbidden.

      Many episodes can be built around such mundane things as Gandalf's annoying pipe weed snobbery, Gimli's out-of-control quaffing habit, Aragorn's racy past coming back to bite him, and Sam's unrequited hobbit-love for Frodo. And let's not even talk about Tom Bombadil!

      1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

        Re: Running up stairways of falling rocks

        Game of Thrones is wildly succesfull

        It has swords and dragons

        Tolkien has swords and dragons

        ... therefore ...

        1. Phil Kingston Silver badge

          Re: Running up stairways of falling rocks

          Nah, tits and dragons, tits.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Running up stairways of falling rocks

            Dragons with tits?

            Now you're talking.

            Rule 34.

            1. Swiss Anton
              Joke

              Re: Running up stairways of falling rocks

              "Dragons with tits? ...."

              That's the mother-in-law.

          2. Mystic Megabyte Silver badge
            Happy

            Re: Running up stairways of falling rocks @phil

            Nah, tits and dragons, tits.

            Filmed on location on the Paps of Jura.

            https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paps_of_Jura

        2. macjules Silver badge

          Re: Running up stairways of falling rocks

          So make The Wheel of Time instead? Oh wait, Sony TV are already ahead of Amazon there. Shame that the world's second highest-selling fantasy series is being made by a rival, eh?

          1. jake Silver badge

            Re: Running up stairways of falling rocks

            "And let's not even talk about Tom Bombadil!"

            Please don't. I've often wondered what the author was smoking when he came up with that particular atrocity.

            1. tiggity Silver badge

              Re: Running up stairways of falling rocks

              Plenty of scope for Bomadil stories - his eco friendly nature will tick a few boxes, and his general a bit foolish and not suited for complex mental tasks also has political resonance with US and UK political figures - though his general well meaning incorruptibility would not resonate politically.

              1. david bates

                Re: Running up stairways of falling rocks

                While Bombadil is deeply annoying what actually IS he?

                Theres a massive backstory there (unless its covered in the books I couldn't get through). A being who resists the power of the ring utterly, commands nature and dark spirits, but is not all-powerful?

                I'd like to know more.

                1. Teiwaz Silver badge

                  Re: Running up stairways of falling rocks

                  While Bombadil is deeply annoying what actually IS he?

                  I've always gotten him confused with Tom of Finland....

                  1. Warm Braw Silver badge

                    Re: Running up stairways of falling rocks

                    Tom of Finland

                    Possibly not the "lord of the rings" that Amazon are thinking of...

                2. Anonymous Coward
                  Anonymous Coward

                  Re: Running up stairways of falling rocks

                  "While Bombadil is deeply annoying what actually IS he?"

                  Not a definitive answer but a plausible suggestion here:

                  http://www.cas.unt.edu/~hargrove/bombadil.html

                  1. steward
                    Facepalm

                    Re: Running up stairways of falling rocks

                    From the cas.unt.edu link: "Tom is "the nature deity par excellence""

                    Yes, that's exactly what he is - the oldest of all old things. Some of Tolkien's other writings show he can be a trickster as well (actually, making the ring disappear is a pretty good trick in FTR.)

                    Tom is the Puck.

                    1. Voland's right hand Silver badge

                      Re: Running up stairways of falling rocks

                      Yes, that's exactly what he is - the oldest of all old things.

                      Then where the f*** is he in Quenta Silmarilion?

                      IMHO, it would be more fun (but a lot of lawsuits too) if someone does "The Last RingBearer" with a proper budget.

              2. Rich 11 Silver badge

                Re: Running up stairways of falling rocks

                Plenty of scope for Bomadil stories

                They'd make a right song and dance out of it.

            2. Lyndon Hills 1

              Tom Bombadil

              see Bored of the rings for what the Harvard Lampoon made of Tim Benzedrino. IIRC it involved mushrooms not smokeables.

              Also filmed .

          2. Rafael #872397

            Re: second highest-selling fantasy series

            Harry Potter? Just buy it and create a mix fantasy+magic+fake reality TV show. Just retcon the hell out of it to make the characters more relatable to certain audiences.

            Next week:

            Ron: Snape is such a bastard!

            Hermione: I totally saw him spitting in your potions.

            (camera shows Harry scratching his back with his wand)

            1. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: second highest-selling fantasy series

              > "...camera shows Harry scratching his back with his wand..."

              And scratching his stubble with his other hand.

            2. hplasm Silver badge
              Coat

              Re: second highest-selling fantasy series

              "...Harry scratching his back with his wand..."

              That's just showing off...

              1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

                Re: second highest-selling fantasy series

                ""...Harry scratching his back with his wand..."

                That's just showing off..."

                Hows that? Can't you do it like everyone else?

          3. Teiwaz Silver badge

            Re: Running up stairways of falling rocks

            Oh wait, Sony TV are already ahead of Amazon there.

            Yeah, but it'll only be of interest to those into the spanking fetish scene...

            I'm kind of looking forward to it.

            1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge
              Devil

              Re: Running up stairways of falling rocks

              Teiwaz,

              Spanking you say? Then LotR has already got you covered.

              Sauron and Saruman have got whips and dungeons.

              And have you not read the chapter, 50 Shades of the Grey Havens?

      2. Captain DaFt

        Re: Running up stairways of falling rocks

        I foresee an endless string of mini-plots revolving around elf-dwarf sex scandals, fear-mongering about new wyrms from the north, and all those swarthy eastern immigrants showing up unbidden.

        Many shows can be built around such mundane things as Gandalf's annoying pipe weed snobbery, Gimli's out-of-control quaffing habit, Aragorn's racy past coming back to bite him, and Sam's unrequited love for Frodo. It's gonna be great!

        So you're saying that the new series will be based on LOTR fan fiction? ☺

      3. sawatts

        Re: Running up stairways of falling rocks

        The books are all used up

        Nonsense - you are forgetting the Appendices! A to F -- there's six seasons worth of material for you. Just needs a bit of padding, some random love polygons, subplots about cute orc babies, and so on...

    2. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

      Re: Running up stairways of falling rocks

      "The Peter Jackson series of movies were popular because they were entertainingly terrible on an epic level never seen before."

      I enjoyed it. Maybe it's because it's over 40 years since I read LOTR or maybe I just accept you can't always do book to film 100% accurately for many, many reasons.

      1. jabuzz

        Re: Running up stairways of falling rocks

        While you can't always do book to fill 100% accurately you can do better than Jackson did. A confusing messed up impossible flight from the shire, that requires the extended edition DVD/BlueRay to remotely make sense. Aragon going from being a character full of purpose to one full of self doubt. A insane wobbly column in Moria and an Elvish army turning up out of the blue in Helms Deep are probably the deepest grievances one has with Jackson's effort. Also the elf/dwarf love story in The Hobbit, what the f'ing hell was that about.

        You can do a much better adaptation than Jackson did. However it requires you to accept you are not better than the original author and bury any "artsy" tendencies you have that force you to make up shit because you have to have some way of expressing your creative desires.

        To see how it can be done properly one just points to the BBC Radio adaptation of LotR's.

    3. Dave559 Bronze badge

      Re: Running up stairways of falling rocks

      I agree that The Hobbit films had too many ludicrous over-extended scenes that felt a little too much as though they were really just set-ups for tie-in computer games (Escape from the Goblins’ Dungeon, Barrel Rider II, Molten Caramel Tea-Tray Racer, …), and it was certainly too much stretched out by at least one film, but The Hobbit was always intended to be more of a younger children’s story, so *perhaps* some of the silliness can be at least slightly forgivable.

      On the other hand, The Lord of The Rings films were pretty much almost everything that I had hoped they would be (although the omission of the Scouring of The Shire was inexcusable).

  2. GrumpyKiwi Silver badge

    Best script

    Gandalf, Saruman and Lady Galadrial share a house in Gondor. Hilarity ensues as these odd couples argue over who's turn it is to polish the palantir and get into whacky situations and romance.

    1. Long John Brass Silver badge
      Coffee/keyboard

      Re: Best script

      You bastard... I now have visions of Friends in middle earth dancing though my brain

      Pass the brain bleach please

    2. macjules Silver badge

      Re: Best script

      Oh God, I now have this awful mental image of an ageing David Schwimmer as Saruman and Lisa Kudrow playing Galadriel. Please ... stop.

      Mind you - a perfect vehicle for Matt LeBlanc as Sauron: no lines!

      1. Fink-Nottle

        Re: Best script

        > Oh God, I now have this awful mental image of an ageing David Schwimmer as Saruman and Lisa Kudrow playing Galadriel

        Bree's Company with Graham Norton as the inn-keeper of the Prancing Pony - Mr Butterman / Mr Roper. Lots of camp hilarity about weed and 'special' rooms ensues ...

    3. TitterYeNot

      Re: Best script

      As a TV series, Galadriel's opening monologue will be a little different though.

      The world is changed;

      I can feel it in my water,

      I can feel it in the night soil,

      I can smell it in the fetid air...

    4. steelpillow Silver badge
      Joke

      Re: Best script

      My favourite related TV sketch (The Fast Show?) was Gandalf and Saruman as a couple of gay old friends meeting up in the street and going off together. Can't recall if they were depicted as actors in identical costume robes and whiskers, but either way, once you've seen it you can't look at LoTR any other way.

  3. ThatOne Silver badge
    Unhappy

    I actually love Tolkien's universe, and was somewhat depressed to hear this. Low budget marketing-driven heroic fantasy with a Tolkien stamp of (dis)approval, sounds like a great recipe for disaster.

    Expect cheesy (PG!) romance, spectacular stunts, lots of CGI, frightening monsters, and all-around merchandising. Who else was hoping for a Palantir-shaped Echo device?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Unhappy

      You think this is bad? Just wait till they start licensing LOTR to the ad industry...

      1. phuzz Silver badge

        Lets face it, the LotR films were basically New Zealand tourist board promos.

    2. Voland's right hand Silver badge

      Low(er) budget is not necessarily bad

      The significantly low(er) budget Dune miniseries done by the sci-fi channel are light years ahead of the 1984 David Lynch idiocy which had an order of magnitude higher budget. Similarly, a season of Babylon5, Stargate, etc was created on a fraction of the money used on a StarTrek Deep Space 9 or Star Trek NG per-season budget. Huge Budget does not necessarily make a good movie. Rogue one had only 3 quarters of the budget used by The Force Awakens delivering a significantly better film in the process.

      1. Gobhicks

        Re: Low(er) budget is not necessarily bad

        BOO! I love Lynch's Dune, Sting and all.

  4. Michael Thibault

    "All of which has huge potential for fine television."

    If that sentence does not contain an oxymoron, it certainly sets thing up for a massively-hyped, expensive, unforgettably unforgivable, widely-disparaged, disappointing face-plant. Brought to you by Orville Redenbacher.

    1. Pen-y-gors Silver badge

      All of which has huge potential for fine television.

      Whilst simultaneously having huge potential for being an absolute crock of expensive shit.

      Is there any way to harness JRRT's spinning body to generate electricity?

  5. MacroRodent Silver badge

    Turin Turambar Dagnir Glaurunga

    > Less obviously exciting is the “previously unexplored storylines”, because Tolkien's deep history of Middle Earth was not his most engaging work.

    How about Narn i Hîn Húrin (Tale of the Children of Hurin), which appears as the most memorable of the sub-stories in Silmarillion, and other post-humously published writings? A few years ago Christopher Tolkien finally glued the pieces into a separate book. It could actually make a pretty good film.

    1. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

      Re: Turin Turambar Dagnir Glaurunga

      There's also lots of deeply-depressing^W ^W moody TV to be made with the rise of the Witch-King and the Fall of Arnor.

      Or the story of Beren and Luthien.

      Or the stories of Numenor (and it's fall).

      The rise of Rohan

      The backstory of Galadriel and the fall of the Noldor.

      The Fall of Gondolin

      They would probably have to stay away from the sections concerning Eru Iluvatar and all the vala/maia stuff in order to stop various US fundies frothing at the mouth.. They would also require very, very good scriptwriters to make the most of things without downgrading them into unwatchable pap.

      1. Charlie Clark Silver badge
        Thumb Up

        Re: Turin Turambar Dagnir Glaurunga

        They would also require very, very good scriptwriters to make the most of things without downgrading them into unwatchable pap.

        Wot he said.

    2. Charlie Clark Silver badge

      Re: Turin Turambar Dagnir Glaurunga

      Hasn't the BBC already done this? There's definitely stuff in Unfinished Tales that could be done. But it would be difficult not to repeat what's already been done. Think of what an awful mess Jackson made of The Hobbit by turning it into an extended prequel of Lord of the Rings.

  6. deadlockvictim Silver badge

    Numenor

    Is this still much interest in the fantasy genre? I would have thought that Game of Thrones is being wound down for a reason and it is hardly because the books are (ahem) almost finished.

    That being said, there is a lot of potential for setting it in Numenor [1]. There are rough details of many of the kings in Unfinished Tales but nothing too detailed. This leaves a framework that can be filled in.

    Sauron's there too and busy with Celebrimbor in Moria a-ring-making, as are Aragorn's descendents.

    One can only hope that the script is given the attention it deserves is done well.

    [1] Apologies for the lack of accents. I couldn't be arsed looking for them.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: a lot of potential for setting it in Numenor

      I think you could probably even set it in some of the footnotes in Book of Lost Tales 1 ... :-)

    2. Adam 52 Silver badge

      Re: Numenor

      A tale about a small island nation that once had a great empire allowing a weak prime minister, sorry King, to be corrupted, splitting from its friends to the East and looking towards unobtainable riches to the West only to be destroyed as a result of its own greed.

      1. RealBigAl

        Re: Numenor

        Sounds like Moorcock's Runestaff stories from the Eternal Champion series,

        and something else I can't quite put my finger on.

    3. DropBear Silver badge

      Re: Numenor

      "Is this still much interest in the fantasy genre?"

      Yes and no. Apparently people are more than ever positively going gaga over copycats like "Vikings" - on the other hand, I used to watch GoT as soon as it aired but this year couldn't be bothered to even start watching yet...

    4. Kimo

      Re: Numenor

      Sauron's there too and busy with Celebrimbor in Moria a-ring-making, as are Aragorn's descendents.

      Aragorn is descended from his descendants? Holy time paradox!

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    goody?

    I know that there do seem to be a lot of LOTR fans here. I am but this sounds like a lot like trying to flog the dead horse. This is Hollywood all over these days. After YMSWM (Yet More Star Wars Mediocrity) and other remakes (mostly worse than the original) and sequels (sometimes good sometimes bad but mostly bad) they seem to have lost any originality they once have.

    I wonder if the scripts will be written, produced and directed by all this wonderful A.I. we keep hearing about? Could they use robots instead of actors to save money? After all Amazon is big in both apparently...

    I'm not an Amazon Prime user and there is only so much Clarkson a person can take. (no it is not all about you)

    I'll pass thanks just like I did with GOT after the first series.

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Episode 27

    The Involuntary Suppository strikes back.

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Gandalf, Aragorn and Sauron all get busy between The Hobbit and The Fellowship of the Ring

    ... sounds like a bad porno ...

  10. King Jack
    Facepalm

    Prequel? Oh no

    Prequels always suck. They break the original story because the writers feel the need to include the latest flashy tech in the movie. Characters will have powers they lack in their future and every one will somehow know and bump into everyone they will meet in the future. (films) Why not just write a new tale based on the existing books? I know, that sounds too difficult and it won't make the masses angry pointing out all the errors that will set the internet on fire. Gotta get those flames huge.

    1. DropBear Silver badge
      Unhappy

      Re: Prequel? Oh no

      Mark my words - considering _nobody_ of any significance can be redshirted because we know they survive to the end (and they know we know), I predict at least one major character will be killed anyway at least once, then brought back via some sort of fantasy magic resurrection handwaving...

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: via some sort of fantasy magic resurrection handwaving...

        What? No! How dare they put any fantasy magic in a fantasy story! I'd be shocked, I tell you, shocked! :-)

        1. Eguro
          Meh

          Re: via some sort of fantasy magic resurrection handwaving...

          You just start of the series with the creation myth by Eru, then you append the slight change that Eru - like all great composers - did not create just a single masterpiece.

          Tada - Alternate timeline, do what you want!

      2. Toltec

        Re: Prequel? Oh no

        Is there an Outlander reference in there?

        Given Gandalf's fall with the Balrog, not to mention Sauron, JRRT definitely has form in bringing back supposedly dead characters.

        1. Mooseman Bronze badge

          Re: Prequel? Oh no

          " JRRT definitely has form in bringing back supposedly dead characters"

          No, just bringing back immortals - both Gandalf and Sauron are essentially immortal, as were all the wizards. This is why the dramatic death scene with Saruman makes no sense of course. Dead humans stay dead, eg Boromir.

          I'd far prefer it if they moved away from the Hobbit/Fellowship timeline altogether. There is a stack of really great story material in the Silmarillion just waiting for a coherent rewrite.

      3. RealBigAl

        Re: Prequel? Oh no

        Gandalf the Sepia

  11. Terry 6 Silver badge

    Oh Hell!!!

    Yet another accountant drive "franchise" written in a spreadsheet, devoid of imagination, creativity or anything approaching a novel plot.

    1. DropBear Silver badge

      Re: Oh Hell!!!

      They seem to always forget that a good plot with brand new, unknown setting and characters can easily be successful but a poor plot with well-known setting and characters will always do poorly. It's almost as if their aim is never making something that is actually any good to thrive on merit, just something that's sufficiently familiar to survive a season or two on past fame...

      1. Terry 6 Silver badge
        Facepalm

        Re: Oh Hell!!!

        The Beancounter mentality is fixed on It worked, it made money, lets do it again and make money again (If they can do it as a subscription TV production, and fill lots of lucrative hours even better) . Sometimes that's correct, financially. In the short term. So in time we may well have Star Wars 93 - the Return of the Chequei. Paddington 7, The Spy with the Golden Zimmer Frame, Not Quite as Fast but still Pretty Furious and so on. While the punters are prepared to pay and see this stuff it will keep happening.

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    So will Sauron be a gender fluid necromincer?

    1. This post has been deleted by its author

    2. IsJustabloke Silver badge
      Pint

      re So will Sauron be a gender fluid necromincer?

      Superb!

    3. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

      "So will Sauron be a gender fluid necromincer?"

      Very possibly. Likewise, Orcs will be cast as hobbits and elves cast as Dwarves etc in the spirit of equality and political correctness.

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Must be time for someone to adapt "Bored of the Rings" for TV in Game of Thrones style.

    1. Little Mouse

      ...or "Hordes of the Things".

      Radio show or the game. Not bothered.

      It'll still be better than watching Aragorn, Sauron & the rest all in the same year at high-school, having weekly adventures whilst struggling with homework & parental issues.

      1. Mooseman Bronze badge

        "Hordes of the Things".

        Bonus points for you sir.

        Unless you're the woodcutter's daughter of course :)

  14. Torben Mogensen

    Could go either way

    There is potential for disaster, but if handled well, it could be good. I think the best period for an initial run is the period between the Hobbit and LotR, as mentioned earlier. I'm not sure Moria will work well as a main storyline -- the retaking is probably not all that interesting, and the fall happens rather late in the time line (since Gimli is not aware of it when the Fellowship enters Moria). The rangers fighting orcs and goblins up north is probably a better idea, but with a better storyline than the "War in the North" game. It could feature a young Aragorn so there is some name recognition.

    I'm not sure the story of Túrin Turambar (The Children of Hurin) will work on TV, nor Beren and Lúthien. The tale of Númenor definitely takes place over too long a time frame to work on TV.

    1. Eguro

      Re: Could go either way

      Moria could work.

      But I think you'd need to make the whole thing an anthology series.

      So you get 2-4 episodes focusing solely on one aspect of the story.

      Moria storyline could run through everything since the Hobbit up until "Mellon" (heard in the dark after a "time passes" sequence, at which point a door cracks open and the episode ends), without having to keep apace with other stories being told.

      It'd be less restrictive and so long as they don't write themselves into a corner (Whoops, forgot that person X was shown during one anthology to do this at this time - now we need X to do something else at the same time), it could be quite enjoyable.

  15. x 7

    I bet they concentrate on the ancestry of Elrond half-elven and the X-rated miscegeny between man and elf which led to his birth. Interspecies sex, incest, magic, it has the lot

  16. steelpillow Silver badge

    Less obviously exciting is the “previously unexplored storylines”, because Tolkien's deep history of Middle Earth was not his most engaging work.

    It's pretty much Game of Thrones with added Gods and Immortals, don't see how it can fail (unless the production team are utter deadheads). All it needs is the writing style livening up a bit.

    When Numenor falls and the shape of the world changes to cut off Middle Earth, I hope the CGI lives up to the moment.

  17. Dave Bell

    The Tolkien Rights are a bit complicated. I don't recall how The Hobbit is fitted in, but Tolkien sold the non-literaray rights for The Lord of The Rings to a Hollywood company, which trades as "Tolkien Enterprises". There are a few bits from the Peter Jackson movie that are lifted from other books, and the family did get some payment from them. The same happened in the BBC radio adaption.

    If Amazon hasn't done a deal with the family, a lot of these ideas aren't going to happen. All they have as a source is the various passing references, and the Appendices. The family opinions on the movies are mixed, and I wouldn't like to try to guess whether they are included in this Amazon deal.

  18. PapaD

    Lets hope its better than Shannara chronicles

    Though in all honesty, they would need to do some serious butchering of the source material to manage that.

    I gave up when they switched my favourite character from being an honourable loner with a serious desire to test his martial skill into a greedy, amoral, honour-less bounty hunter who just happened to be decent in a fight.

    1. Alien8n Silver badge

      Re: Lets hope its better than Shannara chronicles

      My biggest complaint was the ruins of old humanity. Everything look too fresh, as if the events of Angel Fire East and the Elfstones Of Shannara were only decades apart and not the thousands of years in the books. To see a good fallen humanity setting play Horizon Zero Dawn, the ruins in that game look hundreds, if not thousands of years old.

  19. Excellentsword

    I could get down with this.

  20. Patrician

    There is plenty of scope for good story telling outside of The Hobbit and LoTR books themselves; my reactions are tempered somewhat, however, by the fact that it is Amazon that has done this deal.

    I would feel more confidence if Netflix was involved as they have produced some pretty good programmes, The Marvel series, Travellers, Stranger Things and The Santa Clarita Diet are all pretty good programmes. Amazon on the other hand has Man in a High Castle and, .... errm???

    1. Excellentsword

      American Gods is worth a watch imo

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Hollywood sure knows how to beat a Golden Goose to death in an effort to keep it laying even when it's only laying rotten eggs.

  22. Andy The Hat Silver badge

    Titles ...

    The series could be a manufactured journey home, led by an annoying dwarf, encountering new tribes and races (all of which speak amazing English) and having epic battles where nobody of significance gets severely mangled.

    It could be called Lord of the Rings - the Voyager Chronicles.

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I bet they shoe horn in Legolas, like they did in The Hobbit film

    1. Andy The Hat Silver badge

      "...shoe horn in Legolas..."

      My eyes watered as I read that one ...

  24. Flakk Silver badge

    Bored of the Rings

    One overblown sexaology of films to rule them all,

    One lootbox-ridden game to find them,

    One questionable show to bring them all,

    And in their boredom bind them.

  25. Palpy
    Thumb Up

    Sorry, prequel's been done.

    By Randall Munroe.

    Obligatory xkcd link.

  26. Paul Herber

    base it in South America

    Just rename the mountains as the Andes, Rohan can be Patagonia, Numenor can be the Falkland Islands, Mordor can be Tierra del Fuego. Any ideas for Anduin, The Great River? Anyone?

  27. Marketing Hack Silver badge

    Orc raider impulsively marries elf princess

    Can they happily live and love together? And just wait until their families meet!

    Tonight at 8 PM, seven Central.

  28. The Serpent

    Work already underway..

    .. https://silmfilm.mythgard.org/

  29. Stevie Silver badge

    Bah!

    Argh fuck no!

    If you want dragons and politics and sex, go with a miniseries based on Dragonflight.

  30. StuntMisanthrope Bronze badge

    Book Learning and giving back. :-)

    There's load of stuff stuff that JRR, Geroge RR and CS Lewis et al haven't been influenced by. sound great.

  31. StuntMisanthrope Bronze badge

    (-:b

    Forget to mention. #theshire

  32. RealBigAl

    With Christopher Tolkien announcing he's stepping down from heading up the Tolkien Estate at roughly the same time Amazon announced they'd bought the rights to LotR some people are jumping to conclusions.

    As someone further up the thread mentioned. The ownership of the media rights to Tolkien's works are convoluted to say the least. What Amazon appear to have bought are the TV rights to The Hobbit and LotR. Nothing else, not the Silmarillion, nor the Unfinished Tales nor any of the other myriad works produced after JRR's death.

    So Amazon are presumably going to make stuff up to fill in the gaps. Look how well that went with Jackson's The Hobbit.

    I suspect both the Tolkien Estate and Time-Warner will be watching Amazon's plans very closely. Smaug the Lawyer is going to be sitting on a pile of gold by the end of this.

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