back to article Softbank gets Uber A-OK for $9bn investment cash splurge

Cash-flinging Japanese tech firm Softbank will sink up to ten billion dollars into Uber, following a vote of approval by the taxi app's board. In addition to the direct purchase of $1bn Uber shares, Softbank also wants to buy out other investors' shares up to a total of $9bn, according to financial newswire Bloomberg. …

  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Fools and their money

    Those numbers imply a valuation of $65bn for Uber. Sheesh.

    No way on this earth is a mere app developer, with no real defendable market niche, and shitty, immoral management worth that.

    Perhaps Soft-in-the-head-bank could just GIVE me a billion dollars? I won't do anything illegal, I won't harass women, the return on investment will be better than Uber (from hereon), even after I've spent every last cent.

    1. iron Silver badge

      Re: Fools and their money

      RoI would be better if they put 1 beeellion each on 10 random entries for next year's Grand National.

    2. Khaptain Silver badge

      Re: Fools and their money

      "I won't harass women, the return on investment will be better than Uber (from hereon)"

      I read that as "better than Uber (from heroin)". Indeed if you managed to invest 64Bn in heroin there would probably be a better return than that from Uber.

      I must be old gen but Uber just doesn't appeal to me..

  2. Korev Silver badge

    Fraud?

    The deal may also help to get former Uber chief exec Travis Kalanick out of a hole. Uber investor Benchmark agreed to drop its fraud lawsuit against Kalanick if the Softbank deal goes through

    If Fraud was committed, why isn't the Company being prosecuted by the state? Is this a quirk in USian law that this European doesn't understand?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Fraud?

      Once off the board he'll be funding his lawyers, not Uber

      Also shunting billions into a money pit is a good way to lose some of your taxable profits so you dont need send them to Ireland - Holland - Ireland - Isle of Man trips

    2. DougS Silver badge

      Re: Fraud?

      Presumably the state would prosecute if they had evidence to do so, and thought that evidence was strong enough.

      Benchmark doesn't care about having anyone held liable even if fraud charges they could be made to stick. They want to get paid. Having a highly publicized criminal trial makes it LESS likely the "greater fool" will come along Benchmark is waiting for to buy their shares at a huge profit over their acquisition price. So even if Benchmark has such evidence, why should they share it with prosecutors?

      Softbank is the greater fool they've been waiting for, so if the deal goes through they probably sell out - and they won't care what happens with Kalanick after that because they'll be too busy Scrooge McDucking through piles of Softbank gold.

  3. Mage Silver badge

    Just an App?

    Maybe they are a Taxi "Agency" that uses an App instead of yellow/golden pages?

    They have drivers and a database of past users, past trips and past drivers.

    No, they are not just an App, though that's what they claim to regulators.

    Is Google just a search engine?

  4. Cuddles Silver badge

    Investment?

    "buy out other investors' shares"

    That's not an investment, that's just stock market trading. Buying existing shares off other people doesn't give any additional money to Uber. This seems to be becoming a bit of theme, where perfectly normal share trading is reported as though it's actual funding for the company whose shares are being traded.

  5. Kevin McMurtrie Silver badge

    Don't stop there

    The Radio Shack web site still seems to be up. It's not too late to buy another well known American brand that nobody likes. Half the store was to sell Sprint phones, right?

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