back to article Healthcare insurance cheat-bot bros Zenefits cough up $1m to make SEC probe go away

America's financial watchdog will extract $1m from controversial insurance reseller Zenefits and its former CEO to settle claims they lied to investors. The SEC said ex-boss Parker Conrad and the biz he founded Zenefits have agreed to shell out the dosh to end an investigation into whether they misled shareholders about the …

  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Presumably the 50 training hours the company dodged via the bots were meant to inform seller-trainees of the professional ethics the government expects from them... oh wait.

    1. I3N
      Facepalm

      Thought maybe there might be logs, too ....

      Dang, the Feds recently sent me three disks of the 120 hours of 'ethics training' their three miscreants were supposed to have taken ...

      As that is somehow supposed to be proof!!!

  2. David Roberts
    Trollface

    Source code available?

    I could probably use some Cisco, Microsoft et al certifications to plump up my CV.

    1. MonkeyCee Silver badge

      Re: Source code available?

      Based on my experience with certain MS/Cisco "qualifications" you could probably get away with just putting them on your CV anyway. It's not like anyone checks these things, until after they've been hired.

      The one that took the biscuit was the "CCNA" who didn't understand what I meant by "can you ping it?" when asking about accessing a certain bit of kit. Not as in "what's the command?" but just complete incomprehension about ping and trace route. I think his team had an inkling of his uselessness, since he'd been dumped onto service desk for his first few weeks.

      Last I checked he was still in the same job, six years later.

  3. Voland's right hand Silver badge

    Typical Silly valley company nowdays

    If you think that it is just Uber having some moral compass issues, you probably need to think again.

  4. Velv Silver badge
    Facepalm

    Great, SEC making sure the shareholders are compensated.

    Who’s compensating the policy holders who have potentially missold health cover?

    Tells you everything you need to know about America.

    1. GrapeBunch Silver badge
      Devil

      ... I'd wager (were I ...) that the policy EULA (or whatever it's called in the health insurance biz) specifies that you can't sue 'em for malfeasance. And, for good measure, that any argy-bargy is in a company-friendly jurisdiction / forum.

      E pluribus unum sure covers some crazy shit, but I wonder if Caveat emptor might be a more fitting national motto.

    2. DCFusor Silver badge

      Not quite. In nearly all cases like this, while a fine is collected, it just goes to the government, the shareholders just get an expensive lesson.

  5. Potemkine! Silver badge

    In most civilized countries...

    ... it would be called 'corruption'. But not in the one venerating the golden calf so much money can buy everything, from judges to being president.

    1. MiguelC Silver badge

      Re: In most civilized countries...

      It even buys you a *not* criminal record as "neither Conrad or Zenefits will have to admit or deny any of the SEC's findings and charges" after paying the fine.

      That's the best justice money can buy, no doubt!

  6. John Smith 19 Gold badge
    Unhappy

    The *other* classic Silicon Valley startup "Rules, laws, are for other companies. Not us."

    This guy has the moral compass of a borderline psychopath.

    I'm not surprised he's jumped ship and popped up somewhere else in pretty short order.

  7. Cronus
    Facepalm

    If only I were that rich, I could break the law and get away with it too...

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