back to article What employs half a million people, just did $44bn in sales, and rhymes with Azerbaijan?

Defying subdued predictions, Amazon on Thursday reported healthy third-quarter earnings of $0.52 per diluted share, based on net income of $256m, on par with $0.52 per diluted share and $252m a year ago. The tech giant's sales revenue reached $43.7bn, up 34 per cent from $32.71bn in Q3 2016, which ended September 30. That …

  1. veti Silver badge
    WTF?

    I don't know

    Since when does Amazon rhyme with Azerbaijan?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: I don't know

      When you sack all the editors and let infants loose on the headlines?

      1. Mark 85 Silver badge
        Pint

        Re: I don't know

        What is it... Global Riddle Day or something like that? Then there's the Whois, Whatwas riddles and Scroll, scroll ad nausseam ad infinitum....I had to check twice to make sure it wasn't April 1 again.

        Been one of those weeks so far... need icon -------->

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: I don't know

          El Reg has always had a thing for the odd fun headline, but recently they've become almost universal, incomprehensible, and unfunny due to overuse. It seems unfair of some commentators to describe them as clickbait though, since they're so unintelligible they're not even tempting to click on.

        2. Dippywood

          Re: I don't know

          Let's not forget the "supercilious, formalistic silly words surround us" form that pops up at every mention of the West Coast.

          I prefered the sarky headlines - but someone seems to have taken to heart the old saying "sarcasm is the lowest form of wit." Whether the saying is true or not, I's like to see more of the sarky taglines!

    2. gotes

      Re: I don't know

      It sort of does if you say it with an American accent.

  2. Mikel

    Analyst miss

    $.03? Instead of $.52? Amazon beat by 17x?

    That's an oops.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Cut the stupid childish riddles and give us the news..

  4. breakfast
    WTF?

    The solution

    The answer to the riddle of the headline is: Nothing. Nothing does that. In particular "Amazon" doesn't.

    I hear that ale from CAMRA's fun,

    And makers of flim-flam are stunned,

    Before you put pajamas on

    Just put down that hammer, son

    I am the one to slam 'er on

    And plenty rhymes with Amazon.

    In spite of this I have my calm,

    Like Alladin why harm

    Someone whose rather alarmed

    Not one of them is Azerbaijan.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: The solution

      Azerbaijan:

      - Enamored By Ham

      - Plaza Pie Man

      - Gaza Spy Van

      - Brassiere Size Spam

      - Lazy Fire Man

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