back to article Welcome to the future: Bluetooth jackets you can only wash 10 times. Gee, thanks, Google

Blue pants maker Levi's plans to begin selling its first cloth-ware with Google inside on Wednesday – and the tech should survive up to 10 washes. The $350 Levi's Commuter Trucker Jacket with Jacquard by Google has been designed to function as device controller through the incorporation of Project Jacquard, Google's connected …

  1. myhandler

    "...said Mark Hung ..."

    We all know which garment he'll be sporting.

  2. Martin 33

    How often do you really wash your jacket? This looks like a jean jacket so it would be more, but I would say I get less than 10 washes on most of my jackets. I have a 20 year old leather jacket that I have only thoroughly washed 4 times(countless times I took a wet rag over it) and the leather on the cuffs are starting to get too much wear.

    1. AMBxx Silver badge
      Coat

      Dirty sleeve

      I guess the question is, 'Do you frequently wipe one arm of your jacket with dirty hands?'

      May get dirtier that a regular jacket.

      Either way, it's a horrible idea. All these people with plenty of brains, but not enough common sense to use them for something useful.

      1. lglethal Silver badge
        Go

        Re: Dirty sleeve

        I'm sure the Designers realise that this is not the most useful idea in the world, but as the old saying goes "There's a sucker born every minute". And you may as well try and sell them any old tat while your at it...

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          "There's a sucker born every minute"

          Now you will spot them easily. Because of the smell...

    2. m0rt Silver badge

      @Martin 33

      You have a point.

      I have a leather jacket that I have owned since new. It has been sent back for replacment liner (worn holes), replacement cuffs and wasteband (Worn cuffs) and replacement zip over the years. It has been washed a total of once. Cleaned off flies (It also does motorcycling duties, but it isn't a specific motorcycling jacket), and it does get conditioned from time to time. I will be buried in this jacket. But I can't see it getting washed again.

      But, I wouldn't want a bluetooth thungummy in the thing. I love the part where they state that millenials don't wear watches so they need to sell them something else...

      No. No you don't. You can sell a jacket. Find. But seriously? Yes, I have found the 'e-tip' of the gloves I have useful when trying to wrestle with Strava because it thinks I just did 20 miles of cycling in 10 minutes. I do find the odd porthole for headphones useful.

      But until you can provide a jacket that has a built in display in the arm*, recovers body heat and motion as stored energy and can warn me about the fact it may rain in the next 30 mins (unlike most apps, recently, which with all the low pressure have been indicating no rain during downpours), AND has built in invisible Solar panels, with a app to display the logo or camouflage of your choice in an outside oled all over the surface, then I won't bother.**

      *Which is kind of like having a clear plastic sleeve that you can slide your smartphone into, energy aside. So....

      ** Not really. This sounds hideous. 16 year old me would probably have thought it wonderful, but then 16 year old me was at the begninning of a lot of life mistakes...

      1. TrumpSlurp the Troll Silver badge
        Trollface

        Wasteband?

        Is this to avoid comfort breaks on really, really long journeys?

        I assume it is located at or below the waist.

        1. m0rt Silver badge

          Re: Wasteband?

          If you had ever been on a motorcycle when it is below 10 deg cel and your bladder shrinks to the size of a walnut, you too would be glad of a wasteband and the resulting warmth it brings...

          *ahem*

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: @Martin 33

        I love the part where they state that millennial don't wear watches so they need to sell them something else...

        Yes, I think that requires some more investigation. Perhaps, why does millennials not wear watches? - and why do millennials compromise by getting an Android device instead of an iPhone?

        Could it be that they have little money and are working on zero-hour contracts?

        So maybe they won't generally be able to blow loads on *any* "smart" device or apparel and because they are generally educated (and will be loaded with student-loans for their entire life), they make virtue out of necessity?

        1. AndyS

          Re: @Martin 33

          > and why do millennials compromise by getting an Android device instead of an iPhone?

          Oh look! A troll! There, under that bridge!

          1. m0rt Silver badge

            Re: @Martin 33

            Ere..should we have a Billy Goat icon when refuting trolls?

          2. GruntyMcPugh Silver badge

            Re: @Martin 33

            Yeah, but the troll did make me laugh when he mentioned 'blowing loads' on a smartphone.... I mean, that's fanboi arousal, right there.

        2. BinkyTheMagicPaperclip Silver badge

          Re: @Martin 33

          It's not Millennials that don't wear watches - it's probably a majority these days. I'm Gen X rather than Millennial, and stopped wearing a watch when there was a phone permanently in my pocket. I've at least four watches at home, two of which are fashionable enough to be worn on a regular basis, and haven't bothered for years.

          I definitely don't need a remote control in my jacket to control my phone, when I can stick my hand in my pocket and pull it out..

    3. Just Enough

      "How often do you really wash your jacket?"

      Not very often. But my experience with these sort of things is that when the advertising says "up to 10", it means in reality "5", after which it'll be increasingly rubbish and temperamental to a degree that makes it effectively useless and you'll stop using it.

  3. Long John Brass Silver badge
    Alert

    light and haptic feedback

    via light and haptic feedback

    ***KATZEEERRRRT***

    Scratch one smug beardie hipster millennial bastard

    1. Korev Silver badge
      Pint

      Re: light and haptic feedback

      A pint for Grade One BOFHery ->

  4. Phil Kingston Silver badge

    Does it come with the legend "Plonker" emblazoned across the back?

    Because that's what everyone will think when they see the wearer struggling to brush it the right way while defending how useful it is to their mate.

    1. Dan 55 Silver badge

      Maybe they could pretend by wiping their nose on the sleeve, although if they do that jacket might need more than 10 washes.

  5. Joe Werner

    Wearables...

    Millennial don't wear watches. "Wearables, unless they're inconspicuous, it's hard to get people to wear them,"

    Yes, a nice lean wrist watch is so much bulkier than the latest "smart" watch...

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Wearables...

      "Millennial don't wear watches. "

      Rubbish! So long as it's crap for showing the time, has to be charged every day and costs a small fortune, then it's a must have.

    2. paulf Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: Wearables...

      "...connected textile platform."

      What a time it is to be alive!

      Yes, that's mine. No electronics in the fabric - only the pocket.

  6. gregthecanuck
    Trollface

    So if you talked into your sleeve would that be an off-the-cuff comment?

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I've dreamed of the day I can wave hello to someone and pron starts playing on my phone, maybe that day has now come.

    1. 0laf Silver badge

      What would be better is for you to wave and pr0n plays on THEIR phone

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      but won't it keep starting and stopping with every arm movement?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        There's a special setting for the dominant hand.

  8. ukgnome Silver badge

    These will be useless in Newcastle!

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Meh

    Hey look everyone, a SOLUTION!

    now can someone show me the problem?

    1. Jedit
      Headmaster

      "now can someone show me the problem?"

      Same as it always has been: idiots currently have too much money.

      1. Swarthy Silver badge
        Pirate

        Re: "now can someone show me the problem?"

        Same as it always has been: idiots currently have too much money. Marketeers don't have enough of your money.

        FTFY

        1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

          Re: "now can someone show me the problem?"

          Marketeers don't think they have enough of your money.

          FTFY

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Facepalm

    As I explained, unsuccessfully, to the Judge...

    I have Bluetooth enabled trousers and the sensors are in my pockets to keep them away from moisture and the rain. When I was reported on the tube, I was merely skipping forward a few songs and retweeting a funny remark about cats.

  11. RyokuMas Silver badge
    Coat

    Hmmm...

    I guess by cross referencing the position of your Android phone against that of your jacket, Google can harvest data on how much you feel the cold and try and sell you thermal underwear...

  12. Bloodbeastterror

    I thought I'd heard it all...

    ...but apparently not.

    "Google's connected textile platform"

    FFS!

    1. 2+2=5 Silver badge
      Joke

      Re: I thought I'd heard it all...

      > [...] Project Jacquard, Google's connected textile platform.

      It's a looming disaster.

      1. Swarthy Silver badge
        Joke

        Re: I thought I'd heard it all...

        I can't be-weave you would make such a warped joke! Woof!

  13. LewisRage

    What a bunch of curmudgeons!

    You'd all be the ones standing round saying things like "This fire is a waste of time, if you leave your meat on too long it turns to a cinder and, although it might be able to fend off a wolf or two, it burns my fingers every time I try to pick it up!" and "look at that twat with the DynaTAC, it's so bulky and expensive, one born every minute he he he"

    Clearly this jacket isn't particularly useful but any one who thinks that wearable's aren't going to extend into to clothing is short-sighted and, as with lots of technologies, the very earliest examples is a bit rubbish and very expensive.

    So this jacket might be shit, but the iJacket 3 we'll all be clamouring over and queuing overnight to spend a months wages on in 5-10 years time probably won't be.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: What a bunch of curmudgeons!

      So this jacket might be shit, but the iJacket 3 we'll all be clamouring over and queuing overnight to spend a months wages on in 5-10 years time probably won't be.

      Yeah. Like we're all wearing Google Glasses now. Like everybody uses 3D TV. Even smartwatches have been a dismal failure, with global sales of what, 50m devices this year, compared to around 1.5 billion smartphones. In the UK, TomTom smartwatches were so popular they had to be given away free with vacuum cleaners (I was so impressed that I immediately stuck it on Ebay, and got forty quid for it).

      Intelligent clothing may have some very useful functions in technical and some sporting applications, for us everyday peeps, it is yet another blind alley of technology innovation.

    2. Kane Silver badge

      Re: What a bunch of curmudgeons!

      "So this jacket might be shit, but the iJacket 3 we'll all be clamouring over and queuing overnight to spend a months wages on in 5-10 years time probably won't be."

      Nope.

    3. GruntyMcPugh Silver badge

      Re: What a bunch of curmudgeons!

      Nope, I need a device that I can use in a variety of situations, when I'm out walking my dogs, or when I'm commuting to work, or when I'm out socialising,... something that can be transferred from one outfit to another, maybe in a pocket, maybe,... a mobile phone?

      Voice control renders this device a bit useless, doesn't it? Also, I could start and stop music etc with my Smartwatch,... if I ever wore it, but keeping it charged was such a PITA I gave up on it.

    4. Blank Reg

      Re: What a bunch of curmudgeons!

      I won't wait in line more than 5 minutes for anything, I'm certainly not waiting in line overnight, that's for idiots.

    5. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

      Re: What a bunch of curmudgeons!

      You'd all be the ones standing round saying things like "This fire is a waste of time, if you leave your meat on too long it turns to a cinder and, although it might be able to fend off a wolf or two, it burns my fingers every time I try to pick it up!"

      Oh, stuff it up your nose!!

      (Grateful thanks to one Mr. D Adams)

    6. Jedit
      Thumb Down

      "this jacket might be shit, but the iJacket 3..."

      If you think I'm queuing overnight without a jacket, you can think again.

  14. Warm Braw Silver badge

    The cuff presently supports four gestures

    I' suspect they'll find they've implemented "Brush off" without necessarily being aware of it.

    1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

      Re: The cuff presently supports four gestures

      ...and considering it's a denim jacket with metal buttons or press studs, and the actual device needs to be connected to the touch area, why not just have two extra studs in the relevant place, connect the device and presto, no special, limited life, limited wash "smart" material needed.

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    you should never wash a pair of jeans

    An article from 2016. Levi’s CEO explains why you should never wash a pair of jeans.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: you should never wash a pair of jeans

      Spoken by a man who clearly never does any work, and for whom the pressing problem of cleanliness is brushing the dandruff specks off his jeans.

      Back here in the real world, there's this stuff called "dirt", it comes in a billion different flavours, colours, smells, textures, and most of it laughs in the face of a gentle rub from a toothbrush. It is magically attracted to anything clean or new,

    2. lglethal Silver badge
      Joke

      Re: you should never wash a pair of jeans

      Of course you shouldnt wash your Jeans! That's your butler's Job! Sheesh, it's like we're living in different worlds here...

      1. Esme

        Re: you should never wash a pair of jeans

        Terribly sorry to have to correct Sir, but it is the job of Sir's valet to deal with the washing of Sir's jeans, not Sir's butler.

        1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

          Re: you should never wash a pair of jeans

          "it is the job of Sir's valet to deal with the washing of Sir's jeans"

          Sir's valet is only the middle man. The washing is done by Sir's laundry staff.

    3. Robert Grant

      Re: you should never wash a pair of jeans

      Levi’s CEO explains why you should never wash a pair of jeans.

      "Because I sell jeans, and want you to buy new ones rather than maintain ones you already own."

      Next up, BMW's CEO on why you should never use the clutch when you change gear.

  16. herman Silver badge

    Well, maybe it will be good for an off the cuff presentation, but don't wear your heart on your sleeve ladies...

    Thank you, I'll be all week...

  17. lglethal Silver badge
    Facepalm

    Fun on the tube

    You're going to be randomly skipping songs, tweeting random text, and ringing your ex girlfriend in no time at all as soon as you start rubbing up against every other bugger on the tube at Peak hour. Or do Hipsters not catch the tube these days?

  18. Korev Silver badge
    Joke

    Network?

    Which network fabric did they make the jacket out of?

  19. spacecadet66

    The interesting thing: we have here an item made by people with far more money and technical acumen than common sense, who don't have to worry about working hard enough to break a sweat, and who live in a place where it gets cool enough to wear a light jacket. If you didn't know Silicon Valley existed, you could now deduce its existence.

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "With Jacquard technology, you can perform common digital tasks – like starting or stopping music, getting directions or reading incoming text messages – by simply swiping or tapping the jacket sleeve,"

    Why does anyone need to be able to do this?

    1. spacecadet66

      It's not about "need," it's about "I had $350 to blow on this."

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Yes. But. The odds of getting laid would increase exponentially if one paid 100$ for mandatory drinks and the rest, 250$ on the "takeaway services" offered by the club where one goes to get laid. The jacket just signals that 350$ of potential earnings were lost. Probably won't get past the bouncers.

  21. Brian of Romsey
    WTF?

    And just what does "The jacket is designed to withstand up to 10 washes ..." mean? Is it "this jacket might be able to withstand 10 washes, but after that it will fail" or "this will withstand at least 10 washes, maybe more"? Typically ambiguous statements like this will be used for hiding behind later.

  22. Cynic_999 Silver badge

    But ...

    How is this any more convenient or easier to use than a £10 Bluetooth watch which can not only control various phone functions, but also display messages? On a hot day, a watch is more comfortable to wear than a jacket.

    Not that I personally find it particularly arduous to take my phone from my pocket.

  23. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

    Project Jacquard

    Back to punched cards.

  24. Nimby
    Stop

    Stop! (Hammer Time)

    When the heck did it become socially acceptable again to wear jean jackets? (Especially by anyone not old enough to have been there.) That was one fashion faux pas (of many) that I didn't think was EVER coming back! Do they come with a free pair of stylin' Glasshole shutter shades? Oooh, what about parachute pants? (Not to be confused with Hammer pants....) It's no wonder a millennial won't wear a smartwatch. They must already have a giant clock suspended from a gold chain around their neck. Go get 'em Google and your spiffy jean jacket! I'm sure it's a brilliant idea with absolutely no obvious flaws.

    1. GruntyMcPugh Silver badge

      Re: Stop! (Hammer Time)

      I think this is why you can only wash the jacket ten times, to stop it fading and making the owner look like a Status Quo fan.

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