Is there any chance that the successful applicant could proofread an article or two, as part of their duties?
Are you pondering a career in technology journalism? We've got good news for you in that case – El Reg is hiring an intern to work on our London newsdesk. Our official advertisement, as approved by the finest minds in Vulture Central, is as follows... The Register, one of Europe’s largest tech publications, is hiring an …
Wednesday 13th September 2017 08:19 GMT Aladdin Sane
Wednesday 13th September 2017 08:24 GMT Anonymous Coward
Wednesday 13th September 2017 12:26 GMT I ain't Spartacus
Re: cheese and biscuits
Why are they offering beer, if they're also offering cheese and biccies?
Surely the correct drink with those is port.
Unless they aren't using "the odd pint" in the normal colloquial sense, but actually mean "pint of port". In which case, I highly approve! This should be made a new Reg Standard immediately!
Wednesday 13th September 2017 08:28 GMT John G Imrie
Wednesday 13th September 2017 08:34 GMT bigphil9009
The Spectator magazine ran a "blind recruitment" exercise for their recent internship which resulted in a 47 year-old mother of three getting the position who when interviewed on Radio 4 sounded like a pretty damn good recruit (and as a bonus, the Spectator got plenty of free, positive, publicity). Any chance of you guys doing something similar? Or are you just looking for a young 'un, and damn the Equality Act 2010? ;-)
Wednesday 13th September 2017 17:30 GMT Anonymous Coward
> The Spectator magazine ran a "blind recruitment" exercise for their recent internship
We're not recruiting interns yet but when we do it will actually be blind recruiting. Our online form does not even ask your name and encourages you to use a disposable email address. I insist that we do not need or want to know anything that is irrelevant to the job itself, plus it really simplifies data protection compliance since we have no idea who you are anyway. :-)
Wednesday 13th September 2017 09:30 GMT Anonymous Coward
Is there Fondue?
Very apt. Considering the only ones applying will have to have that respectable bank account of 'Mom and Dad' on hand to aid their credit reference agency status, even just in terms of getting to work on £9.15 an hour, let alone finding somewhere to live.
I'm assuming a Chelsea bedsit isn't included.
So it's more a sleeping bag and El Reg thick fleece, in terms of freebies, to make do this Winter, aka. Theresa May's non-existent heart strings, in terms of style.
A Comp-Sci degree and you're paying £9.15 an hour?
"Chelsea Flower Show" types, rather than "Notting Hill Carnival". (even though they'd probably understand the ramifications of targeted Facial Recognition Cameras used by the MET being pointed at them far better, first hand)
Posh accent with a Fondue set at home, preferred.
FFS El Reg, please respect your readers too.
Wednesday 13th September 2017 09:39 GMT Naselus
Wednesday 13th September 2017 10:36 GMT d3vy
Re: Is there Fondue?
""A Comp-Sci degree and you're paying £9.15 an hour?"
Yes, it's an internship, typically used by the inexperienced to gain real world working experience in an industry before moving into better paid employment later.
Long gone are the days where a degree automatically got you a well paid job... Proven industry experience is way more valuable.
Wednesday 13th September 2017 08:36 GMT Anonymous Coward
Wednesday 13th September 2017 08:48 GMT Unep Eurobats
Wednesday 13th September 2017 09:08 GMT Anonymous Coward
I've made a few tweaks to the copy so the intended audience will understand
Yo bae intern!
Yo! Here at El Reg, a sick site in black and white for the kidz!
We be hiring!
Yo! Bring it down! We be hiring a sick intern. She be man, or he be woman. Or it be trans-gendah!
Bish bosh don't worry about the dosh...
You'll get paid, enough to get laid
Enough for tha drugz - but don't be a mug.
(But not enough for an iPhone X. Only Kieren can afford one of those - rich parents, trust fund, you know...)
You be good with the words, literally you'll be typing in shit,
It'll be like long tweets and instagram, LOL.
You be good with the numbers - LOL - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - capitalism is a modern day whore!
You be sick with technology; go argos! Y'know what I'm saying...?
And you be making the brew'
Brew dog, bring a log, watch the bog, bang the frog.
(Mine's two sugars and just a touch of Daylesford Organic semi-skimmed milk. Kieren drinks a wet chai infusion with two drops of organic goats essence.)
You gotz to have the sick humour. So no Jimmy Saville but lots of Victoria Wood!
Be 4 Clinton not 4 Trump. Be 4 Cook and be 4 Jobs.
An B2B duz not mean Bed 2 Bed! We ain't no shagging air BnB shit, you gotzzz ta know what it means. And html tags! Yo bold, italian, <blink>182!</blink> and the rest of the hot tag mess.
Get down bae intern <3.
Get down! :-)
GET DOWN! ;-(
The internship will start in October. After all the festivals finish, and mum's cleared the mud of your wellies.
Peace and rollin'
And for God's sake polish your shoes, and wear a tie. And don't bring your parents. Jesus.
Wednesday 13th September 2017 09:12 GMT Steve Davies 3
If I were 30yrs younger
I'd probably apply in a shot.
But you don't want an old codger with a lifelong interest in technology and in recent years, renewables and has the temerity to drive a mostly electric car now do you?
But you don't want someone who does not suffer fools gladly (Government and opposition Mouthpieces especially)
But you don't want someone who isn't afraid to express an opinion especially after a pint or three.
So you don't want me.
Anyway, I'm off for a ride on the bike (pedal powered) and a pint of Harveys (Lewes) Best at lunchtime.
Grumpy old man.
Wednesday 13th September 2017 09:38 GMT DaLo
Wednesday 13th September 2017 10:22 GMT Steve Davies 3
Re: you could just apply for a real job with them?
I have worked almost continuiously since '69. 3 years off for Eng BSc and 1 year with the big 'C'.
So at the 'Beatles age' (64) I have hung up my coding sheet and debugger because no one really wants an old codger who speaks the truth and will be gone in a year (if the job does not go to India before then like my last one did).
Would you hire me?
I thought not.
and no, even though McD's is building a new obesity outlet almost at the end of my street, I won't even go there let alone want to work there.
Wednesday 13th September 2017 15:28 GMT Anonymous Coward
Re: you could just apply for a real job with them?
"[...] no one really wants an old codger who speaks the truth and will be gone in a year [...]"
You don't have to retire at 65 now - unless you want to have the IT fun without PHBs breathing down your neck wanting a quick bodge. Being your own boss without any paying customers is a nice way to spend your dotage.
Wednesday 13th September 2017 17:39 GMT Bronek Kozicki
Re: you could just apply for a real job with them?
"I thought not."
It might be worth giving it a shot. For one, I would be interested to read tech articles written by an old curmudgeon like yourself. "Old is new again" etc, that might be not only entertaining but also enlightening.
Go for it, and who knows?
Thursday 14th September 2017 11:24 GMT Naselus
Wednesday 13th September 2017 09:13 GMT Velv
Wednesday 13th September 2017 14:23 GMT Nolveys
So does that mean you don't get access to the watercooler if there is no water? Is this just a workplace policy, or is there a physical access control in place?
It's a bait-and-switch and the intern will not initially be given access to the water cooler. Everyone knows that the water coolers at El Reg are only for vodka.
Wednesday 13th September 2017 09:49 GMT CAPS LOCK
Wednesday 13th September 2017 10:01 GMT Triggerfish
Wednesday 13th September 2017 10:03 GMT Anonymous Coward
Has El Reg seen what has happened to The Guardian of Late?
The Guardian seems to have turned itself over to interns, it's become a mouthpiece for the Only way is Essex. This is a typical article:
We have a favour to ask you:
"Pay up or you get more of this torture from the Guardian".
I'm pretty sure that would be more effective.
Alan Rusbridger would probably cry a river, if he realised how fast the paper has managed to dismantle itself, of late.
El-Reg is the last decent place for mostly intelligent tech articles, please don't say this is the start of the end...like The Guardian. There is already enough braindead DM'shittiness in this World.
Wednesday 13th September 2017 14:13 GMT Anonymous Coward
Re: Has El Reg seen what has happened to The Guardian of Late?
The Guardian seems to have turned itself over to interns,
Never to my political tastes, but it certainly used to be a quality newspaper. But a few years ago it suddenly degenerated to become something of a mad, disorganised, rambling global hippy blog.
Wednesday 13th September 2017 15:40 GMT Naselus
Re: Has El Reg seen what has happened to The Guardian of Late?
"Never to my political tastes, but it certainly used to be a quality newspaper."
The problem is, recently it seems to have given up being to anyone's political tastes. Their core readership turned pretty heavily pro-Corbyn back in 2015, but the paper itself has held out against joining them for as long as possible - not through the fault of the interns, but the 90s-era writers who's every article is a sonnet to the lost days of Tony Blair.
Regardless of your feelings toward Corbyn, it's frankly no surprise that the paper has hemorrhaged readers when it insists on endlessly castigating their hero, especially after the election result made the doomsayer's predictions seem ludicrous. They might do a lot better to put paid to the tedious musings of Polly Toynbee, Nick Cohen and Suzanne Moore and use the money saved on their monstrous salaries to give the interns full time jobs.
Wednesday 13th September 2017 19:42 GMT Anonymous Coward
Wednesday 13th September 2017 10:30 GMT Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
Surely another bonus of the role...
Surely another bonus of the role would be getting to deal with all of us lovely El Reg community / forum members :-)
Or... maybe that should be "care in the community" members.
Or just... members. But I'm not sure if the US contingent would understand that colloquialism.
Wednesday 13th September 2017 10:37 GMT Mystic Megabyte
My first job!
Change light bulbs
Make flasks of coffee and carry them to studios. Then clean up mess of spilt sugar/milk/cigarette butts etc.
Go to Fortnum and Masons to get client sandwiches.
Walk to Chinatown at 3a.m. to get a dozen takeaways. (very dodgy in those days due to junkies/vagabonds)
Deliver tapes to clients (2" tapes are heavy!)
Set up studio
Break down studio, empty ash-trays.
Occasionally get to press the red button!
Most important lesson learned:
At 6a.m. when you're the last person in the building after having cleaned up everything, always go down the back of the sofa that's in front of the mixing desk.
You never know what you might find in there :)
Wednesday 13th September 2017 10:39 GMT Anonymous Coward
Wednesday 13th September 2017 11:05 GMT Boris the Cockroach
Wednesday 13th September 2017 11:29 GMT Herby
"Note that we do not have an IT helpdesk"
This is probably the smartest thing that you mention. You already have a BOFH in residence, so additional ones really aren't needed.
Best of luck.
A bit too far away for me to apply, and I might not fit the proper demographic (50 years and counting being paid for computer work).
Thankfully BOFH's are not age bound.
On requirements? Does having a bronze, silver or gold badge count?
Wednesday 13th September 2017 11:44 GMT Lee D
And though it might be nice to not have a IT helpdesk, maybe it's time you got one so they can do the very things that you moan at everyone else for not doing (you finally got around to SSL, which is nice, but let's be honest that's only because you're using CloudFlare, and I predict we only have a couple more weeks before some Internet registry somewhere runs out of numbers and you're forced to do another IPv6 article telling everyone to move on...)
It would even be nice to have a "this is what we run" kind of backend article, but I suspect it would either be not very confidence-inspiring or prompt a LOT of discussion along the "WHY!?" route.
For an IT-focused site, there's a lot of IT stuff about TheReg that we just don't know. And not having an IT helpdesk is one of them. I can only imagine the horrors of a bunch of unmanaged laptops floating around various countries with all TheReg's details, plugged into some horrible mess of an unmanaged network.
Wednesday 13th September 2017 12:16 GMT gazthejourno
Homepage, down the bottom, link titled "Under the hood" ... et voila: Here's all the details of what we run on.
Note the tech team do not have helldesk duties, because we're nice to them like that. It's effectively BYOD here except the company owns the wide-ranging mix of devices.
(Someone who shall remain nameless because he's no longer here got all clever and installed Tails on his issue laptop, boasting how smart and security conscious he was. This lasted until the point where he had to email me documents he wanted to print because Tails wouldn't let his machine talk to the office printer, despite much wailing and gnashing of teeth)
Thursday 28th September 2017 20:27 GMT Marco Fontani
let's be honest that's only because you're using CloudFlare
The CMS, whitepapers, and other subdomains have been on TLS way before Cloudflare. Neither is on cloudflare currently, either.
"Real" IPv6 is a clusterfuck I'll delay for as long as I can.
If you want to ask more, or discuss etc there's always webmaster@ :)
Wednesday 13th September 2017 12:08 GMT Anonymous Coward
I am not at all sure the ad is genuine
it sounds far to nice...You even get cheese, and its paid too? like luring a mouse into its trap...
It does not sound the grumpy, cynical, and life worn (i.e. real world) outfit that I read articles from.
It also does not specify thick skin from similarly qualified (i.e. grumpy, cynical, life worn) commentards who have a demonstrable propensity to complain and disagree at almost any position proposed by an article author, and indeed each other...
Mind you, the intern probably has access to the best helpdesk on the planet, simply write an opinion article on whatever problem you have, and you will have hundreds of responses in the comments, a few of which are likely to be useful. Go us commentards !
Wednesday 13th September 2017 12:43 GMT I ain't Spartacus
Re: I am not at all sure the ad is genuine
You have, of course, spotted the problem. The offer is too good to be true.
Basically El Reg are desperate to be invited back to Apple press events. They've tried cajolery, bribery, threats and then just waiting. Nothing has worked. So now they're on to the next plan. Human sacrifice! Hence the tempting offers of money, beer and cheese.
I'm just surprised they didn't do this a few months ago, in order to get into last night's iPhone launch. Perhaps that was the last straw? Which is why they immediately thought of this the day after.
Wednesday 13th September 2017 12:47 GMT Alistair
I have three male offspring. 21 year old has a F/T job and is working on acquiring a social life. 20 year old has a P/T job and HFA, (social/spacial) but is an absolute dictionary on spelling and grammar. 11 Year old can whup anyone's ass in most PS/3 and PS/4 FPS games, but has utterly illegible handwriting. Which one should I pack up and ship over? ( I'm pretty sure I can fold any one of the three into a carton with sufficient air and water for a 3 day express post run on Fedex)
Myself, I'm too far gone in the cynical, critical, passive-agressive world of corporate politics in the average modern bureaucracy and outsourcing laden enterprise IT business to write anything for publication. Your sub-editors would be overburdened with removing blazing rips against the modern overpaid corporate executives and brain dead venture capitalists that are out there.
(yes this is *mostly* a joke. well, at least the first paragraph is)
Wednesday 13th September 2017 12:48 GMT Korev
Wednesday 13th September 2017 13:58 GMT handleoclast
Wednesday 13th September 2017 14:19 GMT Florida1920
Wednesday 27th September 2017 10:10 GMT hplasm
"The intern has to be on site to refill the water cooler."
The intern has to be on site to have his brain removed and placed into the water cooler.
Which he/she will the refill via IoT technothingies.
I'm onto you, El Reg...
*Hidden SSID- because security, natch ;) (sic)
Wednesday 13th September 2017 14:18 GMT Arthur the cat
Wednesday 13th September 2017 20:37 GMT Mark 85
Re: grizzled (and not-so-grizzled) hacks at Vulture Central
Is there a certificate awarded when one is properly grizzled? Some companies give out "awards" for every accomplishment such as "perfect attendance or 'never late for work', or "cleanest desk', etc. I think participation awards stemmed from that... So is El Reg on board with the latest for the young ones? Enquiring minds and all that....
Wednesday 13th September 2017 14:32 GMT Anonymous Coward
Wednesday 13th September 2017 19:13 GMT Fruit and Nutcase
Calling Doctor Caroline Langensiepen...
Anyone remember this?
"Calling Doctor Caroline Langensiepen of Nottingham Trent uni"
"Your student Tom Watson's assignment to write in the style of the Register"
Perhaps the good doctor has refined that assignment and can recommend one of her recent students.
Wednesday 13th September 2017 20:06 GMT Fruit and Nutcase
How about following the example of Today and Woman's Hour on Radio 4 and invite some of the great and the not so good from the world of IT to be Guest Editors?
for example (in no particular order)
Stephen Fry, Elon Musk, Larry Elison, Alan Sugar, Baroness Lane-Fox, Mark Zuckerberg, Ginny Rometty (can you provide a chopper), Tim Cook, Larry Page (plus lawyers), Travis Kalanick, Paris Hilton, Sir Alan Sugar, Lindsay Lohan, Steve Ballmer, Lord Sugar, Homer Simpson, Steve Jobs (deceased)
the list is endless...
Wednesday 13th September 2017 21:54 GMT Bitsminer
>We pride ourselves on Biting The Hand That Feeds IT.
First task should be to rewrite the slogan. Some suggestions to get them started:
- Slighting the bland that gives two fleas
- Blaming the blight on B2B
- Making the slight seem all too wee
And so forth.
If the quality doesn't impress, pay them something.
Wednesday 27th September 2017 13:24 GMT Sleep deprived