I'll do it.
I can manage a fuck up in a nunery, which is more than what Crapita can do at the moment.
Months after Capita commenced its search for a successor to outgoing chief exec Andy Parker, the company has yet to find anyone judged evil enough well suited to fill his boots - at least not one it can make public. The integrator suffered an annus horribilis in 2016 when it reported profits warnings that led to a middle- …
That job is MINE already I tell thee!
1) I have experience of working on the dark side (Capita freelancer for 3 months some years ago)
2) I have extensive knowledge of how to plummet the depths of GDS.
3) I know how to price up an MoD contract ("I know we quoted £40m but costs .. you know how it is .. £4Bn ok?")
4) I can cost-margin a webpage: "Under construction" page mate? A snip at £23.8m with £200k off*
* Yes really - data.gov Acquia Marina Drupal theme holding page, 1 logo plus some text for £23.8m billable cost.
I hold a degree on Computer Science, AND a degree on economics.. plus I can do extremely boring PowerPoint slides that lie to your face but cannot be said to be false.
I would also give back to those that hire me.
I guess I am qualified to destroy the company and cry all the way to the next high level job.
I have absolutely no experience in this role, which suggests I could be an ideal candidate if their reputation is anything to go by.
Obviously commercial sensitivity prevents them telling us how much the salary really is but I'm prepared to do it for £1M a year plus benefits... and a generous share package of course. :-)
They will never employ you at that price . . way too cheap. If you are going to spend taxpayers money you need to do it in a manner of complete waste and decadence.
I'll do it for £5 million, benefits, share of the profits in cash, hot & cold running high class call girls and a lordship!!!
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