back to article Crushed Juicero now officially a fruitless endeavor

On Friday, embattled "smart" juicer startup Juicero shut down. Executives announced that the company would be suspending sales of its juicers and "produce packs" and looking to sell what's left of its business to a larger chain. This after Juicero said in July that it was cutting staff and looking at ways to drop the price of …

  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Now, execs will be focused on trying to soften the landing for employees

    Whatever you are smoking dude, it's something very cool which is not a crime, but you are not sharing. That is.

    1. Grease Monkey

      What he's smoking is a whole batch of "believing the press release".

      Focusing on finding a buyer though? IOW those execs who have no doubt been paying themselves handsomely from investors' funds are looking to make one last income from the sc^H^H project.

  2. El Duderino
    Facepalm

    I bet...

    ... nobody saw that coming !

    1. Anomalous Cowturd

      Re: I bet...

      AvE did.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Cp-BGQfpHQ

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: I bet...

        Beware following this link. Before you know it you will have wasted tens of hours watching an anonymous, acid-riddled canadian contractor dismantle tools and explain in great detail why they ain't skookum.

        And then you start saying things like skookum. And chooch. And frig.

        1. John McCallum
          Joke

          Re: I bet...

          Don't forget to keep your dick in a vice.

          1. Peter Gathercole Silver badge

            Re: I bet... @John McCallum

            In his earlier videos it was "keep your stick on the ice" (Canadian, Ice Hockey, obviously), but at some point, it changed.

            It was his breakdown of the 'digital motor' from a Dyson hair drier that got me hooked. I wanted to know what made it digital, and he nailed it. There's a real desire to let his audience know how things really work.

            1. asdf Silver badge

              Re: I bet... @John McCallum

              >keep your stick on the ice

              Only about 25 years late on claiming that catch phrase at least in entertainment from Red Green.

        2. kain preacher

          Re: I bet...

          Arrg why didnt you tell me sooner ?

          I'm addicted to Ave now.

          Oh try clive.

          https://www.youtube.com/user/bigclivedotcom/videos

          1. JeffyPoooh Silver badge
            Pint

            Re: I bet...

            "Oh try Clive..."

            Julian Ilett has hundreds of videos on embedded programming, power supply technology, and "Postbag!" which is eBay comedy. Often subtly hilarious, and quite informative.

            1. kain preacher

              Re: I bet...

              My boss wants me to tell you guys to stop suggesting you tube videos as the productivity has seem to gone down :)

            2. kain preacher

              Re: I bet...

              Have you tried EEVblog ?

              1. Anomalous Cowturd
                Stop

                Re: I bet...

                Have you tried EEVblog ?

                A voice to die kill for.

                Fingernails on a blackboard, to me.

          2. llaryllama

            Re: I bet...

            Then before you know it you've found Clive's brother Ralfy and started a whisky collection.

            1. kain preacher

              Re: I bet...

              I've seen when they go to this distillery .

        3. Mint Sauce

          Re: I bet...

          Son of a Diddley.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: I bet...

        > AvE did.

        Uncle Bumblefuck!

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Hipsters

    Remember when good products didn't need a "mission"? They just did something useful at a price that was reasonable. I believe it was called "value".

    1. TechnicalBen Silver badge
      Headmaster

      Re: Hipsters

      The real laser etcher/cutter costs (IIRC) £2500/£5000 and their Kickstarter worked well, they delivered late, but delivered quality. They are offering high quality but at a fraction of the cost of high end/bulk production industrial models. But still a niche market/use.

      Tested (Adam Savage) has used the industrial: https://youtu.be/0eGiQzf6nac

      And the Kickstarter versions: https://youtu.be/9O2a8CSzOI4

      1. Justin Clift

        Re: Hipsters

        > The real laser etcher/cutter costs (IIRC) £2500/£5000 and their Kickstarter worked well, they delivered late, but delivered quality.

        On that note, one of the co-founders of Glowforge just left:

        https://www.geekwire.com/2017/glowforge-co-founder-tony-wright-departs-3-years-helping-launch-3d-printer-startup/

        Seems like they've finally started shipping though. 2 years overdue (?), but at least it it hasn't imploded with everyone losing their money.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Hipsters

      There's an easy way to establish it beyond common sense: the value of a product of service is inversely proportional to the amount of MBA speak in its description. I can even accept mission statements as long as they genuinely seek to state something focused and clear, but as soon as they veer into nebulous BS territory a sensible* investor ought to skip that "opportunity".

      That said, as far as I can tell Juicero's primary mission was to juice investors. No doubt the people involved in that will now be engaged in new startups, having learned that the art of bullshit has still kept them off the street for a year at an undeserved salary.

      The only argument I can see that gets many of these crazy things funded is that someone needs money laundered, but as far as I can tell it's safer to do this via real estate because that has practically no KYC requirements. The only thing you must avoid then, of course, is becoming president..

      * Yes, yes, I know they are apperently as rare as honest politicians

      1. Friendly Neighbourhood Coder Dan

        @ AC Hipsters

        "No doubt the people involved in that will now be engaged in new startups"

        Yes, that, or impossible.com. It still exists, I just checked

      2. Teiwaz Silver badge

        Re: Hipsters

        practically no KYC requirements

        I read that as KFC the first few times to much confusion. Damn it's past lunchtime...

        1. Nolveys
          Boffin

          Re: Hipsters

          I read that as KFC the first few times to much confusion.

          I think that chicken juicing will be the next big thing. People love chicken, but who can find the time to actually sit down and eat a meal? Now you can have the delicious taste of chicken without the mess and the chewing.

          This could be as big as the Bass-o-matic 76.

          1. jake Silver badge

            Re: Hipsters

            I have a duck press, and know how to use it. Never tried pressed chicken, though. Somehow I rather suspect that it won't be anywhere near as tasty ...

        2. aregross

          Re: Hipsters

          I read it as KYLube...!

      3. Blank Reg

        Re: Hipsters

        Having spent more time than I'd like talking to VCs, there are a surprising number of them that are not sensible, or at least lack the technical understanding to realize they are being had.

        This is far from the first train wreck that was easily predicted before it even left the station. It's too bad more of these companies don't go public earlier, there could be a lot of money to be made shorting these obvious failures to be.

    3. Chunes

      Re: Hipsters

      "Remember when good products didn't need a "mission"?…"

      The "mission" is what gets the extra $100 million.

    4. macjules Silver badge

      Re: Hipsters

      "Remember when good products didn't need a "mission"?"

      Now you just stick the adjective 'smart' in front of anything. I am quite thankful that they did not progress to level 2 and use 'intelligent'

    5. itzman
      Paris Hilton

      Re: Hipsters

      Remember when good products didn't need a "mission"? They just did something useful at a price that was reasonable. I believe it was called "value".

      Yeah but that means hard work by engineers and people with STEM qualifications.

      What did you do with all the people with degrees in Art History?

      Marketing.

  4. TechnicalBen Silver badge

    Hahahahahaha.

    No, wait... I mean Hahahahahaha.

    1. ecofeco Silver badge

      Re: Hahahahahaha.

      Both of us.

  5. This post has been deleted by its author

  6. Stevie Silver badge

    Bah!

    This Keurig user is wondering who the hell would pay 600 notes for a juicer unless it was a genuine razor-thin iJuicer?

  7. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

    Start off by going national?

    Maybe they should have stuck to a city or a state before making the obviously very, very capital intensive leap to going national.

    It seems everyone wants to be the next Google, Uber, Apple, Amazon *now*, not after a few years of steady growth. Not helped by the "market expectations" that if a company isn't growing then it must be a "dead man walking".

    1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

      Re: Start off by going national?

      I read that as "rational". Also a good idea.

  8. W4YBO

    Coincidence?

    "We are confident that to truly have the long-term impact we want to make, we need to focus on finding an acquirer with an existing national fresh food supply chain who can carry forward the Juicero mission."

    Amazon/Whole Foods?

  9. Martin Summers Silver badge

    Their business plan was pulp fiction and they are liquidising their assets before someone sends the boys round.

  10. sanmigueelbeer Silver badge

    I guess they got squeezed out of the market ...

  11. This post has been deleted by its author

  12. SUMMONER

    To me the £500 price tag for the machine was not the issue at all.

    It was the integrated DRM, that would only allow you to squeeze Juicero's own bags and only if they were not past the best before date, that took the biscuit IMO.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      No, no, it didn't do biscuits. The crumbs would jam the mechanism.

      Oh, wait ..

      1. the Jim bloke Silver badge

        It does Jam too ?

        .. not that merkins would recognise jam - or how to spell recognise -

  13. John Smith 19 Gold badge
    Coat

    Many people thought it was a stupid idea.

    Because it was.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Many people thought it was a stupid idea.

      To be honest, this failing restores my faith in humanity a tiny bit.

      There's enough idiocy to hit IPO and clock absolutely insane profits for the head fraudsters to make me wonder at times if it is still really about value at all.

  14. Pascal Monett Silver badge

    "disgruntled investors" ?

    I'm sorry, you decided to put money into a souped-up juicer that 1) brought nothing more to the table than the humble $2 plastic kind you use manually and 2) tried to create (and lock users into) a Nespresso-like ecosystem for juicing fruit with expensive written all over it.

    Nespresso works because people cannot easily grind coffee beans manually. Plus there's Clooney.

    Anybody can juice fruit by hand for next to nothing.

    If you're a disgruntled investor in this completely-foreseeable fiasco you only have yourself to blame.

    1. Alister Silver badge

      Re: "disgruntled investors" ?

      Anybody can juice fruit by hand for next to nothing.

      Or by forehead, possibly...

    2. TechnicalBen Silver badge

      Re: "disgruntled investors" ?

      Nah, grinding beans with a manual grinder is "easy", but not "convenient". Plus, you can get fake pods. :P

      But "convenient" juice is not a juicer, it's a carton of juice. Where as coffee tends not to be as nice from a carton.

      1. FatGerman

        Re: "disgruntled investors" ?

        Wait what? They're charging money for a machine to get juice out of a carton? I can already do that. I have hands. Did they not realise that?

        Fucking hell.

    3. Chunes

      Re: "disgruntled investors" ?

      "Anybody can juice fruit by hand for next to nothing…."

      Is "juice" still even a verb?

    4. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

      Re: "disgruntled investors" ?

      For all I know I might be one without knowing it, so to speak.

      Where does VC money come from? At least some of it comes, directly or indirectly, from institutional investors. So there is the the possibility that a fraction of the money that went into the Juicero came from my pension fund or life insurance etc. Without any way for me to know, let alone a way to influence it.

    5. MK_E

      Re: "disgruntled investors" ?

      It's not so much the grinding part as the fact that fishing coffee grounds out of the machine after you've used it is a royal pain in the arse and you don't want to clog the drains by tipping them down the sink.

      I swear my potted plants have more coffee than compost at this point.

  15. DougW
    Trollface

    They got squeezed

    Pod coffee, pod juice, pod people. I'll take my juice freshly squeezed from the carton than reanimated. Unless of course they offer it in black pipe with shiplap siding.

    1. Teiwaz Silver badge
      Joke

      Re: They got squeezed

      Pod coffee, pod juice, pod people.

      There's the next investment opportunity right there, a people juicer - you've got the justification for the expensive pods right there.

      I'm sure someone will be able to think up a mission statement - hell 3D could even do a Jeffrey Dahmer likeness for the adverts....

      1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge
        Windows

        Re: They got squeezed

        <Insert obligatory Soylent Green comment here>

      2. JeffyPoooh Silver badge

        Re: They got squeezed

        "...people juicer..."

        The Ave tear down of the Juicer, and this 'people juicer' comment, reminded me of the Sci-Fi short story about the Transporter System...

        Telephone Booth sized, people would enter one booth in (for example) NYC, and a minute later step out in London. One day there was a glitch, so the guy tried again. Worked normally the second time. But then he saw someone wearing the same clothes walking only a half-block ahead. He ran ahead, and discovered it was... ...himself.

        Senate inquiry follows. We hear only the Senator's voice booming through the closed doors of the chamber. "Scan and Copy? Not really a 'Move', more like a 'Copy'...and Destroy Original?" "Grated Floor?" "Piston in the ceiling?" "Jammed Piston? Unforeseen failure?" "Sound-proof booth to cover the screams...?" At this point everyone starting counting the number of times that they'd been juiced.

        1. Lotaresco

          Re: They got squeezed

          "The Ave tear down of the Juicer, and this 'people juicer' comment, reminded me of the Sci-Fi short story about the Transporter System..."

          That sounds like an extremely mangled version of "Think Like A Dinosaur" by James Patrick Kelly (1995).

        2. Alister Silver badge

          Re: They got squeezed

          The Ave tear down of the Juicer, and this 'people juicer' comment, reminded me of the Sci-Fi short story about the Transporter System...

          Which made me think of Douglas...

          “I teleported home last night with Ron and Sid and Meg

          Ron stole Meggy's heart away and I got Sidney's leg.”

  16. jason 7 Silver badge

    A lesson to youngsters/young 'would be entrepreneurs'...

    ...if there is a guy over the age of 30 who has an opinion that there might be a few flaws with your precious golden idea...then it's a good idea to listen to him, rather than run away or just fire him. He may have a valid point.

    He is probably just trying to save you a lot of money and grief.

    Folks just don't want to be told what to do anymore.

  17. Paul

    I guess it *is* possible to over-estimate how lazy people can be.

    If you can persuade people to pay good money for a coffee pod because cleaning a cafetiere is too hard (or even rinsing out an aeropress), then it doesn't seem unreasonable to hope they'll pay money for juice pods. Seems they were wrong.

    1. Lotaresco

      "If you can persuade people to pay good money for a coffee pod because cleaning a cafetiere is too hard (or even rinsing out an aeropress)"

      Both a cafetiere and an aeropress make awful coffee as does the "Nespresso" machine. I have both a bean to cup machine (at my main residence) and a pod machine at the flat that I rent for work. The pod machine needs cleaning, so it's not that it reduces the labour involved, so it's not "lazy". The reason for using a pod machine is that it's cheap - EUR 40 compared to about EUR 250 for the bean to cup version. Yes, like an inkjet printer you pay the cost in refills but the pods are good for occasional use. Also you can let someone else use the pod machine (as long as they buy their own pods!) without worrying that they are going to break it by failing to follow the maintenance regime needed for a bean to cup machine.

  18. Teiwaz Silver badge

    More money than sense

    This time the product was aimed not just at the consumer that fell into this category, but also the same category in the potential investor.

    The disgruntled investor should maybe invest in......https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M9Q3xRsZY00

  19. JulieM Silver badge

    Doomed from the get-go

    This whole scheme seems to have been doomed from the get-go.

    It was a beautifully-made machine, as the teardown already referenced above will attest. There was attention to detail everywhere -- even the PSU would have been simple to modify for 230V operation. In fact, the only thing it really lacked was a compelling reason to want one.

    What they overlooked in all their haste was the point that if someone wants juice but doesn't want the extra work of clearing up the mess afterwards, they'll just get it out of a carton and benefit from the economies of scale inherent in industrial juice production.

    Of course, all the foregoing presumes there was ever an intention to put a juicing machine in every home in the first place, and it was not all some elaborate scheme to launder money by repaying investors with dirty notes, so spreading them far and wide .....

    1. Version 1.0 Silver badge

      Re: Doomed from the get-go

      I believe that the plan was, once a good number of these had been sold, to introduce a pack of weed that could be juiced ... “You extract the water molecules, the delta-9-tetrahydrocannabinol, the anthocyanin and the flavonoids and the micronutrients. You’re getting this living nutrition. It’s like drinking the nectar of the earth.”

  20. Milton Silver badge

    Let's save everyone some trouble ...

    ... and start a list of all the things which will deliver no worthwhile benefit whatsoever from being connected to the Internet of Shit.

    I think events have already dealt with juicers and kettles but I am sure there are several dozen other perfectly adequately functioning things in your house which simply do not need to be online.

    With luck we may get ahead of the tide of Connected Turds and save someone the trouble (and VCs the expense) of the Connected Toothbrush, Online Bog-Roll Holder, SatNav Dog Collar, Web-Enabled Vacuum Cleaner, World Wide Hamster Wheel ...

    ... {enter next IoS item here}

    1. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

      Re: Let's save everyone some trouble ...

      Too late.

  21. The Nazz Silver badge

    The real thing ...

    Surely, i can't be the last human being alive to prefer my juice from real life, fresh fruit? Natures own packaging.

    Is there anything better than the juice from a ripe peach?

    Get between the lips and oooooh ...

    1. Anomalous Cowturd
      Coffee/keyboard

      Re: The real thing ...

      [quote]

      Is there anything better than the juice from a ripe peach?

      Get between the lips and oooooh ...

      [/quote]

      Are we still talking about Juicero? ;o?

  22. 404 Silver badge

    I admit that I own a...

    ... Keurig Vue that I got a killer deal on a few years ago, but I've never purchased the pods. First thing I did was buy a couple of those Solo pod/basket adapters so we can run any brand of coffee we wish.

    Thing does make excellent coffee, btw. Much better than our Mr Coffee drip and we don't waste any coffee.

  23. Stoneshop Silver badge

    Now, execs will be focused on trying to soften the landing for employees

    They could drop them on piles of unsold juice packs.

  24. scrubber

    Good

    Can we now also get rid of the idiocy of Twitter, Uber, Solar Roadways, Self Filling Solar Water Bottles, Hyperloop and all the other nonsense that has never turned a profit and has no realistic prospect of doing so yet have gotten millions upon millions in funding, yet my ideas that would turn a profit in 6 months get nothing ... mutter, mutter, grumble, grumble.

  25. Marketing Hack Silver badge
    Coat

    Juicero seemed like a sweet proposition...

    But sadly it got crushed in the marketplace, leaving a investors feeling drained and the employees with just a wrung-out husk of a company to satisfy their thirst for success.

  26. WibbleMe

    Dried fruit in the supermarket anyone?

  27. razorfishsl

    There are individuals on taobao handling global distribution chains more effectively than this group of spanners.

    More like they decided they could not dig themselves out of that 120m hole

  28. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Conspiracy types will blame it on the

    Juice.

    - A joke OK?

  29. Saigua

    The proprietors of Dirt Candy always said the downside of carrot sliders was having to pay honest wages towards all the work those took. Overconsistency and just blending the whole thing was never a shortcut on offer.

  30. J. R. Hartley Silver badge

    Shame

    She was a real skookum choocher.

    1. Mystic Megabyte Silver badge
      Happy

      Re: Shame

      aVe cracks me up whenever he mentions Tungsten Carbide, I had better not say why :)

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Shame

        It's the big red candy mountain that cracks me up.

        1. J. R. Hartley Silver badge

          Re: Shame

          Son of a diddly

  31. thomas k

    One good thing

    At least they're offering refunds to people who bought the darn things. Most companies would just say "screw 'em".

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