back to article Pacemaker patch passes probe by US watchdog

It's probably the most crucial patch of the year: Abbott Laboratories' reworked firmware for its St Jude pacemakers has won the US Food and Drug Administration approval to ship. According to the regulator's statement, the upgrade should go smoothly, nearly all the time. Its statement says “installing the updated firmware …

  1. Pompous Git Silver badge

    If I stop posting...

    ... after the 24th of October, you may assume the patch killed me.

    1. Korev Silver badge

      Re: If I stop posting...

      Good luck Mr Git

      1. Pompous Git Silver badge

        Re: If I stop posting...

        Thanks Korev. Given the procedure is at the Royal Hobart Hospital Habattoir I might need it!

  2. Pen-y-gors Silver badge

    Risk?

    Out of curiosity, how do they calculate those risks? The precision of the figures suggests they have identified a number of scenarios in which things might go wrong - so why haven't they fixed those scenarios? Surely we're getting into unknown unknowns territory here - which is inherently rather hard to quantify.

    And what if someone has rooted their pacemaker to speed it up during rumpy-pumpy?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Risk?

      It may be there is a tiny risk, if you are female, 6ft tall and of Asian decent. i.e. something completely out of their control.

      1. Pompous Git Silver badge
        Linux

        Re: Risk?

        "t may be there is a tiny risk, if you are female, 6ft tall and of Asian decent"
        But that's because the device and its control system are Linux-based. If it was Windows everyone would be at risk.

    2. Pompous Git Silver badge

      Re: Risk?

      "And what if someone has rooted their pacemaker to speed it up during rumpy-pumpy?"
      That reads rather oddly in the Australian vernacular. Rooted = fucked!

  3. Anonymous C0ward

    St Jude?

    The patron saint of hopeless cases?

    1. Pompous Git Silver badge

      Re: St Jude?

      "The patron saint of hopeless cases?"
      Saint Jude is the patron saint of the Chicago Police Department...

      1. Scroticus Canis
        Happy

        Re: St Jude? - patron saint of the Chicago Police Department...

        So AC was on the money then.

        All the best to you when you get the update.

  4. Mystic Megabyte Silver badge
    Happy

    Boom-didi-boom

    Obligatory Xkcd Peter Sellers and Sophia Loren SFW

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2nTBNHwar5o

  5. Walter Bishop Silver badge
    Terminator

    Manufacturer Reason for Recall ..

    "Transmitter may initiate a software reset resulting in backup operation in some implanted St. Jude Medical Radio Frequency (RF) enabled Implantable Cardioverter Assura, Unify Assura, and Quadra Assura ICDs and Assurity and Allure Pacemakers."

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