back to article German police seize 5,000 Donald Trump-shaped dance biscuits

Cops in northwestern Germany have seized 5,000 ecstasy tabs fashioned in the image of Donald J Trump's head, indicating the prez continues to inspire people to seek out an alternative reality. The haul of Methylenedioxymethamphetamine, MDMA for short, was discovered in Osnabrück, Lower Saxony, during a routine road check on …

  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    New Slogan.

    Make America Gurn Again.

  2. defiler Silver badge

    We have the best glow-sticks. The best.

    And painters masks. Believe me, I know painters masks, and we're going to make Vicks great again!

  3. Mystic Megabyte Silver badge
    Mushroom

    micro.

    Trump takes a trip, stares at Sun, brain explodes, Sad! NOT

    1. Geoffrey W Silver badge

      Re: micro.

      Actually, he did stare at the sun. It was during the eclipse. He took off his safety glasses and looked up while those around him told him to put them back on again. He smiled. His son, Baron the Bad, did the same. Awesome.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The US version of this pill was only available in white.

    1. Steve Davies 3 Silver badge

      Pill Colour

      Shouldn't that be 'orange' after the dear leader?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Meh

        Re: Pill Colour

        it is odd that the image of such a hateful, reviled, subhuman monster should be the form for a party drug that is supposed to make you happy. I wonder if those people actually taking these drugs view Trump in the same light as most commentards on this thread. I'd guess not. Most people just can't be bothered to hate Trump as much as the Left would like them to.

        And now that the US economy is entering the Trump Recovery with gusto, it's going to be that much harder for the Left to get any traction at all. The incessant screaming about ever-changing "scandals" has bleached their utterances of all meaning.

        Thus, over time the anti-Trump Resistance is reduced to a few bitter critics competing with each other to make the wittiest jokes about orange biscuits in Germany.

        1. Dave 126 Silver badge

          Re: Pill Colour

          > I wonder if those people actually taking these drugs view Trump in the same light as most commentards on this thread. I'd guess not

          Ravers are Trump supporters? Are you off your tits?! The young men on speed dancing to Happy Hardcore tape pack topless outside a burger van at Glastonbury might be equivalent to Trump's core base, but not the users of a drug that gives a feeling of love and goodwill to all people

          Most Ecstasy users I know have a good sense of humour, usually veering towards the ironic, daft or dark. Many of them are doctors, chartered engineers or other professionals. All empirical evidence is that taking some once in a blue moon with good people is good for your mental and physical health. And it is actually scandalous that its original purpose - the treatment of PTSD - hasn't been explored further due to political stigma. We'd rather our servicemen suffer high rates of divorce, prison and suicide instead.

          Any more than one death in a few million users (compare to alcohol, or going jogging) isn't due to MDMA but to impurities and substitutes, the result of a Daily Mail-appeasing political political policies. Remember David Nutt was fired as New Labour's Scientific Advisor because he didn't give the 'scientific advice' that agreed with the party line.

          For more information, see that infamous hippie rag The Economist.

          1. John Smith 19 Gold badge
            Unhappy

            "Ravers are Trump supporters? Are you off your tits?! "

            I rather think he is.

        2. Dave 126 Silver badge

          Re: Pill Colour

          > And now that the US economy is entering the Trump Recovery with gusto

          It's a straight line graph from several years back into the Obama administration you fucking innumerate gobshite.

        3. Blank Reg

          Re: Pill Colour

          Would that be the "Trump recovery" that created fewer jobs in the first 6 months than the same period last year, or the prior 6 months?

          The only reason things are still moving along more or less unchanged is because the liar in chief and his band of incompetents have been unable to pass any meaningful legislation. It usually takes a year or more for the actions of a new government to have any real impact on the economy, but due to the ineptitude of the current administration that could stretch even further. Of course he'll take credit for any improvements, and greatly overstate them, even though it's more because of the actions of the prior administration.

        4. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Pill Colour

          It's odd but I've never seen the left raise their hands in a salute gesture.

          1. Pompous Git Silver badge

            Re: Pill Colour

            "I've never seen the left raise their hands in a salute gesture"
            Opening your eyes might help...

  5. Haku

    I hear some of the side effects to this dance biscuit are:

    Bloated ego.

    Orange skin.

    Decreased capability of understanding basic science.

    Inability to distinguish between white supremacists and their opposition.

    Talking bollocks.

  6. WraithCadmus
    Boffin

    Of course they're orange...

    The post is required, and must contain letters.

    1. chivo243 Silver badge

      Re: Of course they're orange...

      Because Orange being the color of The Netherlands, but the joke isn't lost on others... It's still funny.

  7. M7S
    Joke

    Unusually for a crudely made copy of something

    actually better for you than the real thing.

    (So I'm led to understand)

  8. Evil Auditor Silver badge

    Drop some ecstasy to talk lots of shit. Snort enough and a bit more of marching powder to kill of the empathy part. Add the greatest bad hair do. Finished is your Donald clone. Sad.

    El Reg, when do we get a sad Donald icon?

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Dance Biscuits?

    Surely, you mean Disco Biscuits?

    1. Pompous Git Silver badge

      Re: Dance Biscuits?

      "Surely, you mean Disco Biscuits?"
      Oh noes! Then someone's bound to redo Lou Reed's Disco Mystic (Shirley the worst song he ever recorded). And now it's playing in my head; you've done my brain in!

    2. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

      Re: Dance Biscuits?

      you mean Disco Biscuits

      Where I grew up (the meeean streets of suburban Norf Lunnon) "disco biscuits" was our name for police cars[1] - a nice jam sandwich with flashing lights on top..

      [1] Can't remember the car make - long pointy angular thingies. Austin Princess?

      1. jake Silver badge

        Re: Dance Biscuits?

        Rover SD1, usually with the Buick 215ci V8.

        Not a bad car, but a poor excuse for a Rover.

        1. Pompous Git Silver badge

          Re: Dance Biscuits?

          "Not a bad car, but a poor excuse for a Rover."
          Don't remember any Rovers when I was a lad. Could've sworn they were Wolsleys... The snow looks familar, too.

          Police cars

  10. beast666

    My respect for The Donald is further embiggened.

  11. EveryTime Silver badge

    A little off-theme

    Trump was a high roller in New York City during the 1980s. Back then powdered cocaine was the drug of choice. It was considered cool, back before crack turned cocaine's image down-market.

    1. Dave 126 Silver badge

      Re: A little off-theme

      He was desperate to be seen at the most fashionable nightclubs amongst the cultural movers and shakers back in the eighties, but he was known for not drinking or taking drugs.

      1. Evil Auditor Silver badge

        Re: A little off-theme

        Some arists need whichever substances to enhance their creativity and others don't. Just like them it is with arseholes: some need cocain to get complete and others are naturally and fully born arseholes.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: A little off-theme

        He may not have taken drugs at clubs, but he was (and possibly still is) taking stimulants that are basically "medicinal" amphetamine:

        http://gawker.com/the-best-theory-of-1992-donald-trump-took-amphetamine-1755299885

        http://gawker.com/rumor-doctor-prescribes-donald-trump-cheap-speed-1782901680

  12. John Smith 19 Gold badge
    Unhappy

    "..the user a feeling of euphoria, enhanced empathy and sensations,"

    The D would have to neck a gallon of this to develop any significant level of empathy.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: "..the user a feeling of euphoria, enhanced empathy and sensations,"

      Now I'm confused...

      How exactly would you measure out a gallon of Disco Biscuits?

      1. jake Silver badge

        Re: "..the user a feeling of euphoria, enhanced empathy and sensations,"

        I suspect filling a gallon jug would be close enough for government work.

  13. Unicornpiss Silver badge
    Meh

    Defective?

    Since there is no apparent empathy in the soul of the Donald, I'd have to wonder if these aren't actually a placebo.

    1. Chemical Bob
      Devil

      Re: Defective?

      They are the new designer drug - Assholeo

  14. Winkypop Silver badge
    Trollface

    So, it's true!

    Donald Trump IS on drugs!

    1. Geoffrey W Silver badge

      Re: So, it's true!

      Donald Trump IS on drugs!

      1. Chemical Bob

        Re: So, it's true!

        Nope, that was Dali

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "Kraut" ? really ? in the 21st century ? after 70 years ?

    Maybe this is a thing for Brexiters, maybe I just feel too European after working on one of those old 'Esprit' projects back in the AI Spring of the 1980's ... On the other hand ...

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-80133/Germans-sour-Kraut.html

    from which I quote ...

    "In its ruling today, the ASA said the word krauts did portray German's negatively, but ruled it would be "generally understood as a light-hearted reference to a national stereotype and was unlikely to cause serious or widespread offence".

    But staff at the German Embassy in London disagreed with the ASA decision, saying that most Germans would find the phrase offensive.

    An Embassy spokeswoman said: "It is not a very nice name and it is certainly not nice to be called a name related to cabbage.

    "I think over time the word has attracted very negative connotations, so most people would be offended by it."

    And Cultural attache Tilman Hancker added: "Speaking personally I would be offended to be called it and I think most people would not find it a very nice name."

    FYI: According to https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kraut the word first surfaced 99 years ago - I think it's time to put down the "Commando" & "Victor" comics and grow up a bit ?

    1. Pompous Git Silver badge

      Re: "Kraut" ? really ? in the 21st century ? after 70 years ?

      "I think it's time to put down the "Commando" & "Victor" comics and grow up a bit ?"
      Back at you. I've been called a communist, a fascist, a pommie bastard, a Jew, Fat bastard, and many another epithet [too many to mention]. The only thing I object to is being called too late for dinner.

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