back to article The Telegraph has killed Prince Philip

The Telegraph newspaper accidentally published an obit of the Duke of Edinburgh, instead of reporting his retirement from official duty today. Google News headlines this morning. The headline of the article read: "HOLD HOLD HOLD Prince Philip Duke of Edinburgh dies aged XXX," with the subhead: "Prince Philip waves goodbye to …

  1. Neil Alexander

    It's like Hackers but in real life!

    1. MyffyW Silver badge

      Telegraph

      A spokesman for His Royal Highness said "Bloody Tory Rag"

      1. WolfFan Silver badge

        Re: Telegraph

        HRH is a sailor. He expressed himself in ways which would cause Linus Torvalds to blink in amazement before grabbing something to take notes.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Telegraph

          I noticed that the current series of The Windsors hasn't included any of the foul-mouthed threatening letters from the Duke that were a regular joke in the previous series. Presumably they were afraid he might keel over between production and broadcast.

      2. BebopWeBop Silver badge

        Re: Telegraph

        A spokesman for His Royal Highness said "Bloody Tory Rag"

        "Bloody Socialist Rag"

        TFTFY

        And then called for his whip and a horse....

      3. gandalfcn

        Re: Telegraph

        But what has the Daily Wail to say, or the Excess?

  2. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

    "We will be reviewing our publishing processes as a matter of urgency."

    A newspaper reviewing its publishing processes because it got something wrong? That should be a headline in itself.

    1. Gazareth

      Probably also review the bit that has them contacting 'palace insiders' whom apparently responded as if the event had actually happened.

  3. frank ly Silver badge

    But, but, but

    We put 'HOLD HOLD HOLD' right at the front so there was no way it could be released!

    1. Mycho Silver badge

      Re: But, but, but

      But didn't add a script to the site to check for HOLD HOLD HOLD in the title.

      1. Lee D Silver badge

        Re: But, but, but

        Irony: I bet there's a button that goes between "hold" and "release" on their CMS anyway.

        Some doughnut probably just unticked the wrong article.

        You'd think it would need some kind of editorial sign-off before it went out but obviously having a two-stage publishing process was obviously too much in the way of holding back the news, eh?

        I know if I was an editor, I'd want someone (sub-editors, etc.) to have to sign off and approve everything pushed to the web before it appeared publicly. And that would be AFTER the article-writer had clicked the "Publish" button.

        1. Anonymous Coward Silver badge

          Re: But, but, but

          Perhaps it was the editor who hit the wrong button?

          1. Lee D Silver badge

            Re: But, but, but

            Then what was an article about a non-current news item doing being in the "request release" queue anyway?

            Problems like this are solved by processes, not tech. Until someone says "Publish this" and then the guy above him says "Yes, this needs to be published", why should it appear on the front page at all.

            If nothing else, one single rogue employee could splat any kind of junk on your front page if they wanted to leave while giving management a message...

            1. FozzyBear Silver badge
              Devil

              Re: But, but, but

              " could splat any kind of junk on your front page"

              And that basically describes journalism and the news media channels as a whole. Gone the days of at least checking facts. The news media are paparazzi. The only thing that matters is being first with the head line.

  4. Aladdin Sane Silver badge

    It's how he would've wanted to go.

  5. Chris G Silver badge

    I say Timkins, call a doctor. According to the Telegraph I'm dead!

    I'm not sure but I think I can feel a pulse.

  6. Anonymous Custard Silver badge
    Trollface

    The gift for a man who has everything?

    Maybe the Queen should get him an "I aten't dead" sign for such occasions?

    1. Lee D Silver badge

      Re: The gift for a man who has everything?

      Please note: If this is not written on my grave, I have been failed by my family.

  7. Tronald Dump

    Ho ho ho

    it's not even Xmas

  8. Matthew 17

    Proof of the Illuminati

    This shows that there is knowledge of future events as the news for it has already been written.

    They already know what's going to happen, they just release information as and when appropriate to their plan.

    science!!

    Or similar

    1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

      Re: Proof of the Illuminati

      "They already know what's going to happen, they just release information as and when appropriate to their plan."

      Remember George V.

      1. Chris G Silver badge

        Re: Proof of the Illuminati

        "Remember George V"

        What! He's not dead either?

        1. JimboSmith Silver badge

          Re: Proof of the Illuminati

          He died from being given a Speedball by the royal doctor, which is the same way John Belushi went just minus the royal doctor.

          1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

            Re: Proof of the Illuminati

            "He died from being given a Speedball by the royal doctor"

            With the timing being news management so it would catch next morning's Times instead of being announced first on the wireless where it would be heard by men in pubs wearing caps - or something like that.

            1. JimboSmith Silver badge

              Re: Proof of the Illuminati

              The doctor didn't want it appearing first in the evening papers. Not sure that's something a jury would go sympathise with these days assuming it got to court.

      2. Anonymous Custard Silver badge
        Headmaster

        Re: Proof of the Illuminati

        Well it's the one future event (ok one of two if you include being taxed) that is certain to happen at some point for everyone...

  9. Francis Boyle Silver badge

    "Rumours of one's death

    are slightly premature."

    Yes, I prefer Twain's version too.

  10. J. R. Hartley Silver badge

    Shit like this gives me the creeps.

    As per title.

    1. Prst. V.Jeltz Silver badge

      Re: Shit like this gives me the creeps.

      did you ever find that book about fly fishing?

      1. Chris G Silver badge

        Re: Shit like this gives me the creeps.

        Fishing for flies ?

        I bet you need a tiny tiny hook for that.

        1. VinceH Silver badge

          Re: Shit like this gives me the creeps.

          "I bet you need a tiny tiny hook for that."

          The real problem is putting the tiny bait on the tiny hook.

      2. This post has been deleted by a moderator

        1. VinceH Silver badge

          Re: Shit like this gives me the creeps.

          "I wrote it you cunt."

          Yes, but in those short documentaries that were frequently shown about it, you were trying to get hold of a copy.

          1. J. R. Hartley Silver badge

            Re: Shit like this gives me the creeps.

            My grandkids got me it on a Kindal. Or whatever it's called. I can't work the fucking thing.

  11. disgruntled yank Silver badge

    XX?

    I thought he was at least XC.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: XX?

      XCVI i think

      1. Sir Runcible Spoon Silver badge

        Re: XX?

        Or IVC? Or is that not allowed?

  12. JimC Silver badge

    Otherwise known as a Swarbricking...

    (nm)

  13. BarryUK

    Fake News. So Sad.

    1. FozzyBear Silver badge
      Headmaster

      "Fake News"

      Why are people so caught up with this term. Call it for what it is.

      "Bullshit and lies"

  14. Ol'Peculier
    Mushroom

    Before the Interwebs, an English cleaner was working in a TV station in Australia where they were rehearsing an obit on the Queen's death. On hearing this, she rang her mother who still lived in the UK with the news.

    Mother then rings local radio station to ask if they can confirm the Queen had died. Who duly broadcast such news...

    (might have been about '93 as I was working in the media sector then)

    1. albaleo

      In the late 80s, an English language newspaper in Japan published an obituary for the Emperor Hirohito, who was ill at the time. I remember reading it on my morning break and wondering what the folk in the news office would be doing right then.

      http://www.nytimes.com/1988/09/28/world/2-pay-dearly-for-affront-to-hirohito.html

  15. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    Over-eager

    I guess they haven't forgiven his missus for that hat.

  16. Ralph the Wonder Llama
    Joke

    Operation Forth Bridge

    Let's see - been around for ages, slightly decrepit and due to be superseded? Check. Some people have died maintaining it? Check. Probably. No longer needs painting all the time? Check. Goes on a bit? Check. Not a known promoter of minorities? Check. No longer requires a tithe? Ah. Oh well.

  17. Tim Brown 1
    Pint

    it would never have happened in my day!

    I worked there starting in 1995 shortly after the Telegraph had launched (in November 1994) the UK's (World's?) first daily news website as Electronic Telegraph.

    At the time, we did nightly updates taking copy from the print edition to put online. Each edition was produced by just three people to start with. On the nights I was on shift, one of my tasks was to check through the whole update for problems before putting it live.

    I never, ever let any problems slip through...

    and never ever had to race back to Canary Wharf in the middle of the night to fix things....

    honestly....

    Oh and coincidentally, the original deskspace for the site on the 11th floor of One Canada Square was right next to obituaries!

    1. Tim Brown 1

      Re: it would never have happened in my day!

      Replying to myself, this story made me all nostalgic and posted this pic on twitter:

      https://twitter.com/tgabber/status/892756923799543809

    2. Nick Kew Silver badge

      Re: it would never have happened in my day!

      Tim, I remember the Torygraph online. I was living&working in Italy at the time, and suddenly I had access to a newspaper from home. I think the Grauniad appeared around the same time, but was less usable, or perhaps carried a lot less material, 'cos it was the Torygraph that shone.

      Then in about 1996 they changed it all to some dysfunctional table-driven layout. On the connections we had back then (the information dirt-track) it meant nothing would render until a whole page loaded, which was several minutes. RIP the Torygraph as a usable website: the Grauniad now did a better (or less bad) job.

  18. magickmark
    Trollface

    Alive and ....?

    UMM, I'm convinced he's been dead for the last 10 years and its only the embalming fluid that keeps him going!!!

    1. Anonymous Custard Silver badge
      Pint

      Re: Alive and ....?

      I'm sure my landlord would say the same about me...

    2. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

      Re: Alive and ....?

      its only the embalming fluid that keeps him going

      Nowt wrong with embalming fluid. I prefer mine in the bottles marked "English Whisky Company, Chapter 7"..

      If only I were a journalist. I could put them down as a vital business expense.

      1. Sir Runcible Spoon Silver badge
        Joke

        Re: Alive and ....?

        Phillip=Dr Phibes and I claim my £5

  19. peterm3
    FAIL

    It says more about the type of "journalism" the Telegraph has, if it just makes stuff up about palace sources before the event has even happened!

    1. Captain DaFt

      It says more about the type of "journalism" the Telegraph has, if it just makes stuff up about palace sources before the event has even happened!

      This is SOP for all news agencies.

      Obits for the rich, famous, and/or powerful are prepared well in advance and updated regularly so they're ready to go the instance they get the word that someone important has joined the choir invisible.

      This wasn't supposed to have been released until they'd heard from the palace sources, with date and time added.

      Someone at the Telegraph screwed up, bigtime!

      1. Chris G Silver badge

        Captain Daft

        Ah the choir invisible, are you suggesting the only reason he was on his perch was 'cos he was nailed thete?

      2. Voyna i Mor Silver badge

        "Someone at the Telegraph screwed up, bigtime!"

        At least it was the Telegraph. Had it been some of the other fine publications, perhaps they would have adjusted reality to suit the headline.

      3. P. Lee Silver badge

        >This is SOP for all news agencies.

        Well yes, but why was it so badly prepared?

        <insert title here>

        <insert story here>

  20. handleoclast Silver badge
    Coat

    Wishful thinking?

    (nm)

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I've nothing against the the royal family personally, I'm sure they are a very nice bunch of people (mostly) but I think a modern democracy deserves an elected head of state, what could possibly go wrong with that ?

    Hmmm, looks across Atlantic and decides to do a volte face.

    On second thought's let's just have an elected (or abolished) House of Lords instead and keep the Queen.

    1. This post has been deleted by its author

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      I've nothing against the the royal family personally, I'm sure they are a very nice bunch of people (mostly) but I think a modern democracy deserves an elected head of state, what could possibly go wrong with that ?

      I think it's more important for a democracy to have an elected head of government, but then what do I know?

      1. Voyna i Mor Silver badge

        "I think it's more important for a democracy to have an elected head of government, but then what do I know?"

        Electing one person to run the country has always seemed to me a really stupid idea. Recently a number of countries have seemed anxious to prove it.

        I think the idea of a ceremonial head of government with a theoretical veto power on stupid ideas is a good one. I'd be happy for it to be an election provided that nobody who had ever belonged to any political party whatsoever or who had stood as a candidate in any other election was allowed to stand (which rules me out, though I repented of my folly).

        Elected functional Head of State kind of works in multi-party countries like Germany and France, but not in 2-party or 1-party countries like the US and the UK.

        1. Aladdin Sane Silver badge

          Re: House of Lords

          I'm quite happy that the Lords aren't elected. Means that they're not just thinking about what will get them elected next time.

          1. MJI Silver badge

            Re: House of Lords

            Advantages of non elected people in positions of power.

            They are in it for the long game, not just the next election.

            So this means that the Lords have to do what is best for the UK and not the government.

            The Queen also holds a lot of power. She can sack the government, and the military swear allegiance to her.

            This does mean we could never get an extremist government as all the Monarch has to say is to order her Generals to take the cabinet to the tower.

            1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

              Re: House of Lords

              "order her Generals to take the cabinet to the tower."

              Yes, please.

    3. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

      "I think a modern democracy deserves an elected head of state, what could possibly go wrong with that ?"

      The standard answer is that you always get a politician. And then we discovered what can go wrong when ypu get one who isn't.

      As to the HoL my preferred solution would be to have at least a good proportion ex-officio from such bodies as the Royal Society and the chartered professional bodies. Of course they'd be experts and get disregarded. What the HoC really doesn't want is an elected HoL, they like their unrivalled status as the elected chamber.

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    This happened to Dave Swarbrick, English fiddle player of some repute, whose death was falsely reported in a national newspaper years ago. Ironically this got wider coverage than his actual death as that sad event occurred on the same day as that of some ex-boxer with a higher TV profile.

    ( IIRC he offered signed copies of his premature obituary at concerts for a while, until the paper claimed copyright )

  23. This post has been deleted by its author

  24. Aynon Yuser

    So they are purveyors of "FAKE NEWS"! Ole Trump "Dumb as a Stump" must be giggling with glee.

  25. John H Woods Silver badge

    surely...

    Should be NN and not XX? Although it'll be 1NN in a few years.

  26. Alistair Silver badge
    Windows

    Himself.

    Very likely had a nice chuckle over a premature obit.

    All things said, if I'm still able to stand at attention while a wack of folks roughly one quarter my age strut around and salute me at my retirement, and then manage to stumble a block or two to the car when I'm 96, I'll be laughing at the morons that slip up and publish my obit early. 96, and still mobile. Mind, my maternal grandpa was lugging groceries home for his next door neighbour in a 94F heatwave in Colulmbus OH when he kicked off.....

    (Canadian, and I rather like our monarchical ties, in the form we keep them).

    1. Anonymous Custard Silver badge

      Re: Himself.

      Sounds like my now sadly departed grandmother, who always used to enjoy "going to sing to the old people" every Christmas with the British Legion choir.

      We never did have the heart to point out that at least half of the audience was actually younger than she was...

  27. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    probably 'working' from home and god forbid a company has qa and authorisation processes in place....

  28. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    What a pity, these German impostors are not dead yet!

    Being Sax-Coburg is just the tip of a deep rabid hole.

    Charles is no good either, so best the Ginger haired man for succession.

    1. Aladdin Sane Silver badge

      Re: What a pity, these German impostors are not dead yet!

      The Duke is Greek by birth.

      1. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

        Re: What a pity, these German impostors are not dead yet!

        The Duke is Greek by birth.

        However (and without wishing to appear to support the OP), he is a member of the House of Schleswig-Holstein-Sonderburg-Glücksburg who are most definately of German origin.

        Yes - his birth family were of the Greek and Danish Royal families but (given how prolific Victoria was) that doesn't stop them being of British & German extraction.

        What I'm trying to say is that you are both right..

        (I think I'm turning into a politician. Shomeone schtop me!)

        1. Aladdin Sane Silver badge

          Re: What I'm trying to say is that you are both right..

          Down with this sort of thing.

    2. 's water music Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: What a pity, these German impostors are not dead yet!

      so best the Ginger haired man for succession

      On the basis of not being a blood relative?

    3. MJI Silver badge

      Re: What a pity, these German impostors are not dead yet!

      Ginger comes from the Spencer side, his humour comes from his Great Grandfather, who probably laughed at the obituary.

      1. Aladdin Sane Silver badge

        Re: What a pity, these German impostors are not dead yet!

        Since the first comment is calling them impostors, who's supposed to be on the throne instead then?

        1. Tom 7 Silver badge

          Re: What a pity, these German impostors are not dead yet!

          There's a book called "Queen Victoria's Gene" which looks into the origin of the haemophiliac gene and wonders whether the royal line is more of a zig zag. I'm sure they'll let us know the tests give them the all clear though.

    4. Tom 7 Silver badge

      Re: What a pity, these German impostors are not dead yet!

      The thing about a hereditary monarchy is you dont get to choose. And I'll not bring up the ginger ones parentage either.

  29. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Weekend at Phil's

    I could have sworn he was already dead.

    Kept upright by gin, moral indignation and some good stiff racism.

  30. JJKing Bronze badge
    IT Angle

    Phil the Greek

    I am not a monarchist and fail to see their relevance in their ex-colonies, especially the one in which I live.

    A lot has been said about Phil the Greek and he has certainly come out with some verbal howlers over the years but let's not forget that he was one of "that special generation" who saw combat during the Second World War and for that, like all veterans of all conflicts, he deserves our sincerest thanks. Even Lizzie pulled on a uniform and did her bit.

    1. Aladdin Sane Silver badge
  31. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    In other NEWS

    Kebab futures are down.

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