back to article HPE boss Whitman among candidates for Uber CEO job – report

Hewlett Packard Enterprise CEO Meg Whitman is reportedly high among the names shortlisted to take over as the boss of Uber. Those oh so loquacious sources told Bloomberg a handful of candidates were in the running for the top job at the app-based taxi business, and that Whitman had met with the leadership team on more than one …

  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    and plans to stay with the company...

    ...until her work is done. In other words, when the last employee has been laid off. Shouldn't be long now.

  2. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

    Oh, go on, Meg. Don't keep sacrificing yourself for HP. They'll struggle on without you somehow.

  3. Ugotta B. Kiddingme

    'plans to stay ... until her work is done'

    admirable trait, that - finishing what you started. Don't move on to destroy a new company until you've properly finished destroying the current one...

    1. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

      Re: 'plans to stay ... until her work is done'

      Yes, usually I'd agree.

      On the other hand - this would present a (arguably very slim) chance of maybe saving what's left of HP and killing Uber in one move...

      1. Fan of Mr. Obvious
        Facepalm

        Re: 'plans to stay ... until her work is done'

        That did it - new Meg meme on IG - "She Can Do Both"

  4. PNGuinn
    Big Brother

    'plans to stay ... until her work is done'

    Aw, Shucks.

    Just when Uber are in such desperate need of high quality leadership.

    Err, here's an idea for a very highly qualified alternative: Could one Theresa May be persuaded to step in to save the situation?

    Pleeeease?

    1. Wensleydale Cheese
      Unhappy

      The dynamic duo of Meg Whitman and Theresa May

      "Err, here's an idea for a very highly qualified alternative: Could one Theresa May be persuaded to step in to save the situation?"

      Meg Whitman and Theresa May

      What a dreadful combination.

      One to move your job to India, the other to restrict your options of emigrating to find another job.

  5. fidodogbreath Silver badge

    If Meg isn't interested...

    Martin Shkreli, the "pharma bro," would be a great fit with Uber's genteel corporate culture.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: If Meg isn't interested...Shkreli

      Excellent choice, though. Get private cars off the road then raise the price of taxi fares to about $20 000 a mile because he can. It would help deal with global warming.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    'plans to stay ... until her work is done'

    Got to hammer that final nail in the coffin.

  7. Marketing Hack Silver badge

    Move from the company that laid off 100K workers...

    To another company that treats workers even worse!

    Just stay at HPE Meg. You have lots of work to do there first. And Uber is a true shitshow on the financial and regulatory side.

  8. a_yank_lurker Silver badge

    Slim and Sleaze

    Sleaze meet your new boss - Slim. Somehow Meg and Uber are perfect fit in sleaziness.

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    She will struggle at Uber, seeing as its "staff" all drive people locally, there's no way she can outsource the employees to India, and she won't be able to sack large percentages of the workforce for the same reason, everyone she sacks has a direct impact on revenue.

    Maybe she's planning to staff Uber with H1B or 457 visa workers, probably driving rickshaws??

  10. TheBorg

    Whitman does not know how to grow a business - just to split it up and watch it die slowly ..... not the right match for Uber

    1. Roj Blake Silver badge

      Re: Whitman does not know how to grow a business...

      Sounds like she's perfect for Uber if you ask me...

  11. oneeye

    Oh Hell No....!

    Can anyone name just one woman as a tech CEO who has been even moderately successful? All the most recent woman as leaders of countries like South Korea, Brazil, Argentina, Germany, have had disastrous tenures. Come on SJW, name one, and please strain a bit to offer some bonified evidence to back up your claims.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Oh Hell No....!

      "Germany, have had disastrous tenures"

      I know who the Breitbart readers who refer to "SJW" secretly worship, but anyone who thinks the Bundeskanzlerin has been a disaster must have some strange standards. Failure to have the country invaded on two fronts simultaneously? Failure to have cities reduced to rubble?

      By the standards of most of the world and most German chancellors, she's been rather successful.

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    offer some bonified

    Please - I don't know you that well.

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