back to article UK households hit by 1.8m computer misuse offences in a year

The number of incidents of computer misuse in England and Wales reached 1.8 million in the year up to March 2015, according to official crime statistics released today. The Office for National Statistics data, based on a household survey of around 17,000 people, reveal 1.19 million cases of computer viruses. There were a …

  1. mamsey

    Is twatting a fly with your laptop...

    ... computer misuse?

    1. Your alien overlord - fear me

      Re: Is twatting a fly with your laptop...

      only if you actually hit the fly !!

      1. Dwarf Silver badge
        Coat

        Re: Is twatting a fly with your laptop...

        Don't be daft, there are enough bugs in the system already - why introduce more !

        Mines the one with the Zap-Bat in the pocket

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Is twatting a fly with your laptop...

      No but it's a good way to fix bugs.

    3. smartermind

      Re: Is twatting a fly with your laptop...

      No it's a sign of flawed genius ;-)

  2. Your alien overlord - fear me

    17,000 people had 1.1 million viruses? They should be taken off the internet to let the rest of us surf safely !!!!

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Eh?

    The data suggests people don't tend to bother reporting computer viruses to the police, with just 3.7 per cent of people informing law enforcement

    And 3.7 per cent were told to "bugger off and stop wasting our time. Do we look like a IT support company?"

    1. Flocke Kroes Silver badge

      Re: Eh?

      No point even trying to report intrusion any more. Teresa May legalised it, criminalised reporting it and required contractors to do it for free when ordered by the state.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Eh?

      What data? How do they know it's 3.7% if the rest didn't report it?

      1. smartermind

        Re: Eh?

        Lick finger, stick it in the air?

    3. Archtech Silver badge

      Re: Eh?

      I surmise that many people nowadays think twice, nay eight times, before contacting the authorities about anything. What are the odds that you are the one who will end up being punished? "Allo allo allo, this looks very much like a non-standard, unregistered pirate copy of XYZ... And what are these JPEGs of a naked child in the bath???? Very interesting indeed, probably worth ten to twenty in the slammer... Please accompany me to the station sir, while my colleagues load up all your computers, spare parts, backup hard drives, tapes, documents, etc. We'll let you have them back - if you're found not guilty - when our investigations are complete". (Ha ha, i.e. "never").

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "Incidents" or "reports of incidents"?

    I'm not sure if the numbers in this are meant to denote incidents that were reported to the police, incidents that were recorded by an ONS survey, or an extrapolation based on survey results.

    Personally, I'd say that my externally accessible home PC is subject to several thousand attempts of unauthorized access every day, so 1.8m could be a per-capita value. Yes, my firewall blocks the attempts, but comparisons to checking that your neighbours door and windows are securely locked are appropriate...

    1. Nick Kew Silver badge
      Devil

      Re: "Incidents" or "reports of incidents"?

      My spam filter logs that many misuse attempts in a year. But I haven't reported them to plod.

      On the other hand, I have (in my capacity as an open source developer) occasionally been in receipt of misdirected complaints. The kind of scenario where luser installs Apache web server, sees Apache default page or error page, and sends a very angry and incoherent complaint to Apache about having hacked them. I daresay Plod gets more of that sort of nonsense than we do.

      1. Alister Silver badge

        Re: "Incidents" or "reports of incidents"?

        The kind of scenario where luser installs Apache web server, sees Apache default page or error page, and sends a very angry and incoherent complaint to Apache about having hacked them.

        Oh gods, I thought I'd managed to bury that memory, but this happened to us.

        We were setting up a new site on a dedicated server for a client (large well-known commercial property developer) and we hadn't yet put the bindings in place for the domain, but they managed their own DNS and had set up the A record and publicised it internally.

        Cue panicked emails, then phone calls from the Digital Marketing team that they had been hacked by "The Apache" hacker collective...

        Not one of them had even bothered to actually read what it says on the Apache default page:

        "If you're seeing this page through a web browser, it means you have set up Apache successfully."

        1. Nick Kew Silver badge

          Re: "Incidents" or "reports of incidents"?

          @Alister - thanks for the insight. That division of roles between you installing and $luser throwing a wobbly makes a lot of sense.

          Someone should point Scott Adams at this: PHB could be a fine role model for your one-time client.

  5. DNTP

    That guy in the stock image

    Seriously, all he has to do is take off that balaclava, sit down at a desk and sit up straight while using his laptop. Then he is instantly invisible instead of looking like a crook. My personal favorite though is the old 'reflective vest/hardhat/toolbelt'.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Once all these shitty laws are passed by our government I can see the same headline but with a different article.

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