back to article Disneyland to become wretched hive of scum and villainy

Disney has revealed plans to create a wretched hive of scum and villainy adjacent to one of its theme parks. If the “wretched …” phrase sounds familiar, it's probably because you remember it from Star Wars Episode IV - A New Hope. The phrase was used by Obi-Wan Kenobi to describe Mos Eisley, a spaceport on the planet Tatooine …

  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Sweet.

    But how will they charge for extras? E.g. when I plug my phone in to charge it, will I be billed or will I have UNLIMITED POWER!!!!

    Also, I hear the Aleraan suite will have some great deals.

    There best not be any sand anywhere. I hate sand, its coarse and rough and it gets everywhere.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "...Greedo alien inexplicably fails at the simple task of shooting Han Solo at point-blank range."

    To be fair it's more difficult to hit someone when they've already shot you first...

    1. Rattus Rattus

      Indeed, Greedo didn't "fail at shooting" Han. He simply talked too long, allowing Han the time to unclip his blaster and shoot Greedo while he was still gloating.

      1. Wupspups

        Always follow Tuco's advice

        When you have to shoot...Shoot! Don't talk

      2. Steve the Cynic Silver badge

        "He simply talked too long, allowing Han the time to unclip his blaster"

        In the original novelisation, it's even mentioned that the other people in the cantina collectively and individually thought Greedo got what was coming to him for not insisting that Han kept his hands visible on the table.

    2. imanidiot Silver badge

      I was about to say that. It's hard to shoot Han Solo at close range if HAN SHOT FIRST

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      The Tatooine pro-gun lobby would have you believe they both fired but we all know the truth.

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      @Rattus Rattus; That depends upon whether you assume Greedo's gloating means he intended to kill Han there and then; in which case he *did* fail to shoot him in the broader sense, i.e. because he spent too much time gloating before he was even able to set up his shot and/or fire.

      1. Prst. V.Jeltz Silver badge
        Trollface

        you dont say

        haha , you all fell into the authors trap. U been trolled, bitches.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    But... who will visit it?

    Given the general disquiet here for visitng Trumps USofA and the actions of the DHS?

    and the fact that we (us non US Citizens) are already regarded as Aliens by officialdom in the US...

    Why do they need even more 'aliens' in the US?

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    A wretched hive of scum & Villainy?

    You mean the new "Donald Trumps little white house of horrors" park? I thought it was in Washington DC

    1. DougS Silver badge

      Re: A wretched hive of scum & Villainy?

      That's a wretched hive of treason and villainy. Totally different.

  5. jake Silver badge

    And here I thought ...

    ... that Disneyland already was a wretched hive of ... Forget it. Too easy.

    1. Swarthy Silver badge

      Re: And here I thought ...

      Well, Anaheim...

      1. Jon B

        Re: And here I thought ...

        Mar a Lago

  6. Gordon Pryra

    Hope Disney is on the same page as me

    We ARE talking naked, green alien space babe dancers here aren't we?

    1. TheOldGuy

      Re: Hope Disney is on the same page as me

      Wasn't that Star Trek?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Hope Disney is on the same page as me

        "Wasn't that Star Trek?"

        No, it was definitely Star Wars. I remember that because the storyline involved Captain Kirk.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Disney

    If there's one company that is relentless in it's commercial exploitation of childhood, it's Disney.

    1. Prst. V.Jeltz Silver badge

      Re: Disney

      I dunno , McDonalds would give Disney a run for their money in the child exploitation stakes.

  8. DrXym Silver badge

    The important question

    Will they have a "Disney cast member" dressed up in the Leia slave costume.

    1. LDS Silver badge
      Facepalm

      Re: The important question

      In Florida and California do you really need to go to a Star Wars theme park to see a woman in a small bikini??? Some people really need to turn off the PC and TV, and give a look to the world outside....

    2. Teiwaz Silver badge

      Re: The important question

      Will they have a "Disney cast member" dressed up in the Leia slave costume.

      I read that as 'shave' instead of 'slave' and went to a galaxy far far away asap for a moment....

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: The important question

      Will they have a "Disney cast member" dressed up in the Leia slave costume.

      I hope this doesn't spoil your lunch, but apparently Donald Trump will take the role of Leia in the slave costume. Resting at the feet of Vladimir The Hutt

      1. Swarthy Silver badge

        Re: The important question

        Really? I put a bad toupee on the Hutt, and you'd have Jabba the Trump - Same skin color even.

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Curses, I visited there a year or two too early. I did enjoy "Star Tours" when I was there though. Saying that, the general standard of the attractions was really good, so long as you aren't tempted to go on "It's a Small World" just to find out how bad it is. (I'm telling you now:- believe the stories, it *really* is that bad.... and anyone who has been on it will now have an earworm from hell for the rest of the morning...)

    And as a final piece of advice about the Disney parks:- if you want thrilling roller coasters, go to Busch Gardens or Seaworld instead.

    1. jake Silver badge

      In the words of daughter, age nearly 5, re: Small World:

      "Daddy, make it STOP!"

      1. Dan 55 Silver badge
        Trollface

        Re: In the words of daughter, age nearly 5, re: Small World:

        She's obviously a Trump-supporting isolationist.

    2. Aladdin Sane Silver badge

      SeaWorld?

      Seriously?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: SeaWorld?

        Seriously, the roller coasters there are pretty good. (Not suitable for young children though.)

        Make your own decision about the animal enclosure sizes before you part with your money.

    3. agurney

      "And as a final piece of advice about the Disney parks:- if you want thrilling roller coasters, go to Busch Gardens or Seaworld instead."

      If you want a thrilling Star Wars roller coaster ride, take a Land Cruiser trip over the dunes to the real Tattooine and the remains of the Star Wars set of the same name.

  10. Ralph the Wonder Llama
    Meh

    In the words of Marvin...

    ...sounds ghastly.

    1. TitterYeNot

      Re: In the words of Marvin...

      "...sounds ghastly."

      I find your lack of faith disturbing...

  11. Dan 55 Silver badge

    Disneyland to become wretched hive of scum and villainy

    And here's me thinking The Princess Factory was that already.

    It really should have gone under and made way for better things.

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Trollface

    It's just a shame Bea Aurthur is dead or they could have made it authentic.

    Will it have ewoks or gungan?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Jar-Jar Binks.

      1. Teiwaz Silver badge

        Obligatory Meco

        Jar Jar Blinks

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vY7QcUVue2c

  13. Paratrooping Parrot
    Mushroom

    Erm...

    Nothing about Samsung Galaxy Edge???

  14. WibbleMe

    Al the bars have one band playing exactly the same tune over and over again

    1. Gordon Pryra

      "Al the bars have one band playing exactly the same tune over and over again"

      That would be magaluf then

    2. TRT Silver badge

      To be fair, the Cantina Band are actually heard to play two tunes. They sound pretty similar, I'll give you that, but they are different tunes.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        So a bit like Techno?

      2. Number6

        Are you sure it's not the same tune with a bunch of bum notes each time?

  15. TRT Silver badge

    In theory, sounds like a great place!

    Imperial troopers and rebels battling it out in character around the resort, droids rolling around...

    In practice... Jar Jar Binks, Ewoks and Mickey Mouse.

    1. Aladdin Sane Silver badge

      Re: In theory, sounds like a great place!

      That's Darth Binks to you.

  16. deadlockvictim Silver badge

    This is not the place you are looking for

    Jedi mind tricks.

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Mega crowds

    mega expensive

    No thanks.

  18. Voyna i Mor Silver badge

    I am in favour of this

    The more Star Wars fans spend their time at dedicated Star Wars sites, the less time the rest of us have to experience them IRL. It's a win for everybody.

  19. hatti

    At the exit

    Complete with overpriced souvenir shop I'll wager.

    1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

      Re: At the exit

      "Complete with overpriced souvenir shop I'll wager."

      That;s a given for any attraction. The only way out is via the souvenir shop. In the worst cases, the only "easy" way out is via the till queues, the "no purchase" exit being via a small, single person turnstile.

  20. Rodrigo Valenzuela

    Just a question to Mr. Sharwood:

    why did you think that this explanation:

    "If the “wretched …” phrase sounds familiar, it's probably because you remember it from Star Wars Episode IV - A New Hope. The phrase was used by Obi-Wan Kenobi used to describe Mos Eisley, a spaceport on the planet …"

    is necessary for El Reg audience and commentards?

    R

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Disneyworld is a hive of scum and villany

    They don't pay any taxes to the State or local communities. They are a "regional development district". With the help of the State of Florida they even made the poor local communities pay for the roads to Disney World.

    1. DougS Silver badge

      Re: Disneyworld is a hive of scum and villany

      Since they aren't located in Orlando but outside of it in the county, why should they pay taxes to them? If the state decides to give a business a tax break to locate there, that's their business.

      While that's abused too often, if Disneyworld would have located in say Georgia or South Carolina instead of Florida had they not got the tax break, I think it is worked out pretty well for both the local communities (who have tons of tourist income and employment) and the state (lots of tourists coming and paying sales tax, plus the taxes paid by the Disney employees)

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Disneyworld is a hive of scum and villany @DougS

        What are you talking about? A large part of Disney World is in Osceola county. I said poor communities, Orlando wasn't a poor community even back then. I am talking about places in Osceola county and the surrounding counties. All very poor if you weren't a rancher or an orange grower. Disney, like McDonalds, based their business models on hiring a high percentage of High School students and was not a nice place to work. Property taxes pays for the schools and Disney doesn't pay any. All of those sales taxes you are talking about didn't pay for the roads that the rural communities had to build to support traffic to Disney World.

        One last thing. What about all of the Americans Disney laid off and replaced with foreign workers? How did that help out the local communities?

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    So can I ship a couple of ne'er-do-wells from ZA so that they can play the part of scum in the bar(s)?

  23. Vector

    Not really news

    Disney may have given an update on their progress (and the hotel thing sounds new) but they announced the Star Wars lands back in 2015 and broke ground (at Disneyland, at least) in April of 2016.

  24. Stevie Silver badge

    Bah!

    Having seen what was done at Universal with Diagon Alley and Hogsmeade I predict a gobsmacker experience, if you go in with the right mindset.

    You paid for it, so if you want to sneer it's your dime so to speak. But later on you'll have to wonder if you didn't miss the point and waste your hard-earned.

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