back to article Now your boss can tear you a new Glasshole: Google's techno-specs reborn as biz gear

Google Glass, the Chocolate Factory's shotgun wedding between technology and fashion, debuted to great fanfare on skydivers at Google IO 2012, launched with timidity in May, 2014 and collapsed under the weight of ridicule and naive expectations in January, 2015. It was a humbling flop, made more so by prognostications that …

  1. Commswonk Silver badge

    It gets worse, doesn't it...

    "What doomed Glass in a consumer setting was it wasn't clear what it was intended for," he said. "And that opened up a Pandora's Box of possible abuses."

    Which of course would be completely impossible if used, say as a transcription application to capture discussions with patients instead of taking notes by hand.

    People didn't really understand how to use augmented reality in a consumer setting.

    I wonder how people feel about it being used on them in a medical setting.

    1. Gene Cash Silver badge

      Re: It gets worse, doesn't it...

      I wonder how people feel about it being used on them in a medical setting.

      Considering the incompetence of American doctors, they need all the help they can get. They're complete fucking retard asshats.

      If it'll help them not confuse a broken clavicle with a broken ankle[1] more power to them.

      [1] yup, that actually happened. "Why are you giving me crutches for a broken collarbone?"

    2. Walter Bishop Silver badge
      Big Brother

      Re: It gets worse, doesn't it...

      @Commswonk: 'I wonder how people feel about it being used on them in a medical setting.'

      Some NHS surgeries have begun to offer home consultations through Skyle. Would the patents be happy if they know their video sessions were being recorded onto some storage device in a server farm in North America.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: It gets worse, doesn't it...

      If it increases efficiency, survival rates, reduces risk of errors, then you would be insane NOT to want it.

      I bet when people first heard that robots were used to perform operations, idiots got scared. These days it's pretty normal, and shows real world benefits.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    google benefits

    Is Google peddling only the hardware for serious money or are they also slurping some data with it too? Or adverts in the hud?

    If the consumer model was sold for $1500, I bet the enterprise version is way more since their website doesn't specifically doesn't mention the unit price - "depends on the customization level" is annoying and they only have few partners which are allowed to customize it for your company.

  3. danR2

    It's OK, I'm a doctor...

    At Dignity Health, he says, doctors have been using Glass with an Augmedix transcription application to capture discussions with patients instead of taking notes by hand.

    'At Dignity Hearth, your privacy is paramount, this whole audio-visual discussion about your rectal polyps and history of bipolar disorder will be securely uploaded onto an encrypted server until some imbeciIe employee with a grudge or a profit-motive walks off with a usb....'

    1. Captain DaFt

      Re: It's OK, I'm a doctor...

      Also:

      "this whole audio-visual discussion about your rectal polyps and history of bipolar disorder will be securely uploaded into Googles Cloud, where Google promises it will only slurp 'anonymised data' for itself and sponsored associates in the medical and insurance industries.

    2. RyokuMas Silver badge
      Devil

      Re: It's OK, I'm a doctor...

      because we all trust Google to do what's right with medical data, right?

  4. RegGuy1

    I'm not a gynacolgist...

    ... but I'll have a look.

    Just a sec, let me put my Google glasses on...

  5. Chemical Bob
    Trollface

    Do big technology companies really think Trekkies are gullible enough...

    ...to buy any old crap labeled "Enterprise Edition"?

    1. Amorous Cowherder
      Facepalm

      Re: Do big technology companies really think Trekkies are gullible enough...

      SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY!

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The Camera is also very useful

    for unauthorised copying of peoples' NHS records.

    1. Dan 55 Silver badge

      Re: The Camera is also very useful

      Obviously they won't be happy with 1.6 million records, they want the whole lot...

    2. James 51 Silver badge

      Re: The Camera is also very useful

      No need for a camera for that, the trusts are more than willing to hand the data over and are willing to break the law to do so:

      https://www.theregister.co.uk/2017/07/03/google_deepmind_trial_failed_to_comply_with_data_protection_law/

  7. Sorry that handle is already taken. Silver badge

    Six figures

    They really sold more than 100,000 of them?!

    1. James 51 Silver badge

      Re: Six figures

      More like 1+1+1+1+1+1. That has six figures in it.

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Quick....

    ...Micorsoft have the Hololens for the Enterprise market....quick lets roll it out again, just change the name and charge more!

    1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

      Re: Quick....

      What's really tragic is when the spokesdroid says, when we graduated we learned that there were all sorts of business applications.

      You didn't "graduate" you useless arse! You had to pull the program because it was failing miserably!

      Now if you'd just said that while testing and refining the product internally we found that it had all sorts of business uses, that would be all fine and dandy. You wouldn't then be taking the people you're talking to for ignorant muppets, and everybody could continue happy with their lives. It's got the same meaning, it also avoids mentioning the whole "oops failure" thing but without insulting anyone's intelligence.

      This is the problem with some of these tech companies. They take themselves way too seriously, have almost no discernible sense of humour and have this almost messianic belief in their own awesomeness that just begs for somone to punch them in the face. The high-and-mighty-ness doesn't really sit well with the casual ignoring of various countries' laws or the massive tax avoidance either... Google and Apple have done some really good stuff, but they're also both insufferably annoying!

      There are so many applications for Glass, but I think Google's problem is trying to be genuises and do everything at once, while also trying to let the huge numbers of developers out there hack away to their hearts' content coming up with even more good stuff. Something more limited and focused should be the goal at first, with the option to expand in future. That means you can start with cheaper, and more limited, hardware at first, then improve as production cost fall.

      A Google Glass travel assistant for example would be great. Something that combines sat-nav, public transport information and the ability to control your music while you do it, then let you read a book once you're on the train/bus/plane. Presumably with your phone doing the heavy-lifting. I'd pay a few hundred quid for that - and we know people do as they already spend that kind of cash on sat-navs.

      1. annodomini2
        Childcatcher

        Re: Quick....

        I got more of an impression the associated turd polisher was wanking over the belief in their own bullshit.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Quick....

      It's significantly less than Hololens, more useful, and 3x the battery life...

  9. Is It Me

    Another step closer to the Charlie Stross envisioned world from Halting State and Rule 34

  10. John Smith 19 Gold badge
    Unhappy

    "to the Charlie Stross envisioned world from Halting State and Rule 34"

    Oh dear, another group who want to use fiction as a manual, not a warning.

    I guess Google are a bit miffed now that Amazon has managed to plant a permanently connected microphone in so many homes.

    1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

      Re: "to the Charlie Stross envisioned world from Halting State and Rule 34"

      The difference with Amazon is interesting. While Google produced Glass, and never seemed to quite know what to do with it, Amazon are amazingly focused with Echo.

      I got one for Christmas, and it's unplugged and unloved. I'll probably find someone to give it to who'll find it useful.

      Because it only seems to have two use cases. Using Amazon music (which I'm not signed up to) and operating smart lighbulbs and the like (which I don't have).

      I suppose there's always shopping, but you can only say "buy me a dolls house", and leave Amazon to pick which one you get, if you're very brave or very rich. I guess if you use their grocery shopping, you're just adding to an existing list, so it's good.

      Other than that, I get an email every week saying all the new things it can do, which mostly amount to not a lot.

      So for example you can use it to wake you up. "Echo wake me up at 7am". But you can't add to that command. So you can't say, "wake me up with the radio, or a particular song or playlist - which is pretty bloody useless in my book.

      Or you can say "Echo give me the news" and it reads you the crappiest list of about 3 almost totally random headlines - maybe that's improved in the last 6 months but I doubt it.

      But if I want a recipe for say ginger biscuits, it's both still quicker and more reliable to pick up my phone/tablet and search than it is to use the Echo. Or just go to one of my cook books. And it's not much slower to launch my music from my phone/tablet - although if I'm cooking I have to wait until I have a clean enough free hand, but really that's not enough of a problem to want to spend money to solve.

  11. Ralph the Wonder Llama
    FAIL

    Have they solved the "makes you look like a twat" problem?

    No? Oh.

    1. Dr_N Silver badge

      Re: Have they solved the "makes you look like a twat" problem?

      Yeah! And people who wear prescription glasses are also twats?

    2. Seajay#

      Re: Have they solved the "makes you look like a twat" problem?

      I think you've hit the crux of why it is now for enterprise.

      Yes it makes you look like a twat but no more so than a high-vis vest, a hard hat or a McDonalds uniform. Employees already have to wear that sort of stuff so some dorky glasses are fine too.

  12. John Smith 19 Gold badge
    Coat

    "Have they solved the "makes you look like a twat" problem? "

    Perhaps they think it's a feature?

    Not saying it's a good feature....

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Very interesting tech

    The problem was Glass was two fold.

    1. The price tag. $1,500 is insane.

    2. It wasn't really customisible enough.

    3. It was basically an expensive messaging client and calendar.

    A device *like* this would be epic for use in say programming. Use it as a heads up debug console for example. Or anything that would benefit from having a HUD. Who doesn't want to walk around like the doom guy?

    It would also be fucking epic if I could wander around my racks connect to serial over bluetooth and see live debug info on one of these.

    Google saw it as a wearable email client and data slurping device though. They went straight for the hipsters.

    What this device is, is an output device.

    FFS google do something industrial for a change, sure theres a lot of consumers but you have to stack it high and sell it cheap to sell it to them.

    For industrial use you just need decent build quality and a solid programmable API. Let the customer decide what to do with it. You don't always have to put gmail on shit.

    1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge
      Happy

      Re: Very interesting tech

      I don't want to walk around like the guy from Doom, if it means a giant pig demon sneaking up behind me and eating my legs...

    2. Seajay#

      Re: Very interesting tech

      A device *like* this would be epic for use in say programming. Use it as a heads up debug console for example.

      How is this better than an extra monitor?

      Because I can tell you how it's worse. It's worse because it projects text which you only want to read some of the time in an area of your vision where it will either be awkward to read or it will sometimes obscure the text you're trying to read off a monitor. It's also worse because it's $1500.

      I also wondered when I read the article how it was better than a dictaphone for the doctor. He doesn't need a transcript of the conversation projected on to his vision during the conversation, he's having the conversation. So what is being projected?

POST COMMENT House rules

Not a member of The Register? Create a new account here.

  • Enter your comment

  • Add an icon

Anonymous cowards cannot choose their icon

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2019