back to article Juicero does to its staff what your hands can do to its overpriced juice sacks

Internet-tethered juicer maker Juicero is axing 25 per cent of its staff as the startup tries to shake off its status as a Silicon Valley punchline. Employees were told this morning that the San Francisco startup would not only shed staff, but also try to cut the price of its internet-connected juice-extractor in order to go …

  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    internet-connected juice-extractor

    Sounds like pron.

  2. Frumious Bandersnatch Silver badge

    staff get reamed

    just like the oranges.

    (disclaimer: I have no idea about how their juicer works)

    1. goldcd

      Let me bring you up to speed.

      #1 Imagine oranges, like wot you could buy from any shop

      #2 Then slice them into inch-thick slices you put into an expensive mylar pouch.

      #3 Then you make a VERY EXPENSIVE machine that squashes the pouch - AND ONLY THIS MAGIC POUCH, which you have to bin afterwards

      #4 Juice falls out

      #5 You have to justify why this is better than just squashing fresh produce with a hammer/hand - and you're now the Juicero CEO.

      1. Sorry that handle is already taken. Silver badge

        Re: Let me bring you up to speed.

        I know you implied it, but you didn't mention the funniest part in that it brings DRM to juice.

      2. LDS Silver badge

        Re: Let me bring you up to speed.

        They wanted to be the Nespresso of fruit juice, but it looks they compared coffee to oranges...

        1. Kernel Silver badge

          Re: Let me bring you up to speed.

          "They wanted to be the Nespresso of fruit juice, but it looks they compared coffee to oranges Nespresso..."

          FTFY.

      3. Steve Davies 3 Silver badge

        Re: Let me bring you up to speed.

        You miss one important thing.

        Owning one is so cool especially when showing it off to your fellow DINKY friends.

        Not cool enough to justify the price though.

        1. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

          Re: Let me bring you up to speed.

          DINKY

          Oi! That's me you are talking about![1]. Just because you don't have kids, it doesn't mean that you are the sort of shallow, vapid personality that wants the latest useless fads.

          No - I'd rather spend my disposable income on useful stuff like wine, proper technology and nice food. And wine. Did I mention wine?

          [1] More like DINKE (by choice, we decided to never, ever have kids if we could manage it.. For many and various reasons including genetics.

    2. Mark 85 Silver badge

      Re: staff get reamed

      Rethink this a minute.... it's marketing and sales droids getting let go. Too many startup companies don't put the money into engineering and design but into marketing. They usually go bust pretty quick. Those that put their money into the product first will probably survive. My suspicion is the CEO finally got this figured out.

      1. patrickstar

        Re: staff get reamed

        Lots of engineering went into this product judging from the teardowns. Like, far far too much.

        It's more a question of its' usefulness and value for money...

        1. Christian Berger Silver badge

          It's more like what you get...

          If you have stupid objectives like (squeezing the bag on it's full surface) made up by marketing which refuses to accept more sane alternatives (using a roller to squeeze the juice).

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: staff get reamed

        Too many startup companies don't put the money into engineering and design but into marketing. They usually go bust pretty quick. Those that put their money into the product first will probably survive.

        The snag with that theory being that the technical content of the product is minimal, and the entire value is marketing-driven demand. No amount of investment in engineering is going to help when he whole business is basically marketing hype.

        1. Andrew Moore Silver badge

          Re: staff get reamed

          It's the belief that "brand is everything". While this might be true for a very small number of products, it usually comes after many years of graft. And it is usually used to justify selling very low quality goods...

  3. a_yank_lurker Silver badge

    ????

    A what, a juicer one can buy at Wally World aka Walmart or from Amazon with an Internet connection. I think I will pass.

  4. MachDiamond Silver badge

    YouTube teardown

    The YouTuber "AVE" has a couple of tear down and review videos on his channel. Furgin' hilarious commentary from a seasoned FSE.

    1. J. R. Hartley Silver badge

      Re: YouTube teardown

      Thanks for the head up. It's fucking brilliant haha x

    2. malle-herbert Silver badge
      1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

        Re: YouTube teardown

        Do not click - I just wasted 3 hours watching his videos ......

    3. Geoffrey W Silver badge

      Re: YouTube teardown

      Judging from that video that juicer is engineered better than my old Moto Guzzi two stroke twin which had to withstand some serious abuse and use (and in the end it blew up), and all that beautiful engineering just to squeeze a few packs of chopped up veggies? Those people did not produce a cheap piece of junk. It is way over engineered. I stand in awe. They were serious about what they were doing...and seriously deluded about its actual worth. There are theses waiting to be written about this whole affair and lessons to be learned for humanity. Sigh.

      1. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

        Re: YouTube teardown

        that juicer is engineered better than my old Moto Guzzi

        You ain't setting the bar high here y'know..

        Now if you compared it to my beloved, stolen Honda VFR750 I'd be impressed. Made in the days when Honda deliberately over-engineered stuff. Because they could.

        1. Geoffrey W Silver badge
          Happy

          Re: YouTube teardown

          Not arguing with you but were those also the days when the Japanese used ice skatey tires and bendy frames that felt as if you were about to break into a tank slapper and kiss the road? Fantastic engines, shitty running gear. My Kawasaki triple was like that, but I loved it anyway. God, I miss big two strokes.

  5. GidaBrasti
    Paris Hilton

    Quote: "...our customers simply aren't interested in doing..."

    Target group: lazy people, or rather lazy with a lot of money or not a lot of IQ...

    The message needs better alignment to the "not a lot of IQ" line of action. It then may actually have a future. Plenty of clientèle out there

  6. J. R. Hartley Silver badge

    Bollocks

    Wankers

  7. webweasel

    Missed opportunity

    Can't believe you passed up the chance to refer to them as juche-bags (or similar) Hey, I'll be here all week.

    1. diodesign (Written by Reg staff) Silver badge

      Re: Missed opportunity

      Yoink!

      C.

    2. Shy Guy
      Headmaster

      Re: Missed opportunity

      As approved by Kim Il-Sung?

  8. vir

    Scale

    Aye, there's the rub.

  9. Marketing Hack Silver badge
    Stop

    Giving Silicon Valley a bad name

    $120 million in venture financing? For a juicer that produces 5 cups of juice a week for $2000 a year?

    Depressing.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Giving Silicon Valley a bad name

      $120 million in venture financing? For a juicer that produces 5 cups of juice a week for $2000 a year?

      Depressing De-squeezing.

      ftfy

  10. Sorry that handle is already taken. Silver badge
    Facepalm

    In the letter, CEO Jeff Dunn tells Juicero workers that "the current prices of $399 for the Press and $5 to $7 for produce Packs are not a realistic way for us to fulfill our mission at the scale to which we aspire."

    No really?

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    did this Dunn character really compare his overpriced bag squeezer to real innovative products like the microwave oven? I wonder how he could see what he was writing when he wrote that with his head that far up his ass. I'm not joking, that is prime DSM-5 Narcissistic Personality Disorder. This guy made an over-engineered bag press and he thinks he's the next Steve Jobs. What an absolute joke.

    1. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

      It's either that, or his plan was to create something that got hyped fast and then sell the company to one of the usual suspects.

    2. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

      Yes, that was pretty much my thoughts on this guy too! And the price dropping with acceptance in comparison to the various coffee pod machines? That's a joke too. Those coffee pod machines are hugely overpriced too, an average cup being 4 or more times the price of using a normal cheap filter or espresso machine. My espresso in particular cost only about £30 and is easy to clean. (pressure vessel type, not mechanically pumped, so almost nothing to break or wear out)

      I wonder how many of those being "let go" were early employees with share options they now won't get? That seems to be the MO with a lot of Silly Valley start-ups.

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The workers will control the means of juice extraction

    I sentence Jeff Dunn to 3 years juicing organic wheat grass. By hand.

  13. 4d3fect

    Other reasons this is despicable

    I've been wondering--since the guy was involved with a beverage company (Coca Cola or some such) --if maybe the reason he got so much VC funding was some speculation (well duh) that they could turn their system into a beverage-dispenser type business model: you see one in every fast food joint, theatre, convenience store, &c here in the states. That's some serious money.

    Another reason to hate this is that Oprah gave one away to the cast and crew of A Wrinkle In Time.

    1. MonkeyCee Silver badge

      Re: Other reasons this is despicable

      I could see it being somewhat viable as a commercial product (with it being ridiculously over engineered) and having it as way of serving "fresh juice" without having to clean up as much as a traditional juicer.

      But I doubt they can get the logistics of those juice packs down to a viable price for commercial distribution.

      In general I feel I must really be missing something here, as I can get a freshly squeezed juice from an assortment of cafes/juice bars/coffee shops for about the same price as a juice pack, including the cost of someone bringing it to me and cleaning up afterwards. Or juice to take home for about half the price.

  14. Richard 26

    Great company tag line

    Jeff Dunn has inadvertently come up with a great tag line for his company: "Juicero, neither new nor relevant."

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Simpsons Writers

    Did they come up with the name for this? All I can hear after reading Juicero is the Canyonero music.

    Its a fruit smashing, berry crushing juicing machine...Juicerooooooo-woooooooah.

  16. Jamesit

    Juicero offers refund

    "Juicero Inc., which makes a $400 internet-enabled juice machine, is offering customers refunds after Bloomberg reported that some of the startup's investors were surprised to learn its produce packs could be squeezed by hand."

    https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2017-04-20/juicero-offers-all-customers-a-refund-amid-critical-coverage

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