It's an option
I guess it's something to consider if I ever cock up my career .......
A male escort has opened up about leaving behind his uncomfortable experiences soullessly prostituting himself in IT in favour of working in the sex industry. Sydney-based John Oh said he ran IT businesses in the late '90s and 2000s. But due to the recession, he turned to escorting as a sideline to fill the gaps financially, …
"he ran IT businesses in the late '90s and 2000s" ...
"I get to make a genuine difference to people's lives - a small number to be sure, but it's something that IT never allowed me to do,"
Clearly he wasn't a very good businessman, as obviously his IT businesses were abject failures. My interpretation is that someone who "ran IT businesses" wasn't just a contractor running a one man business, but someone who actually employeed people.
"I get to make a genuine difference to people's lives - a small number to be sure, but it's something that IT never allowed me to do,"
On a serious note, that's why a lot of people give up when they're working in I.T. Because they are rarely thanked for what they do, and it's often hard for them to see how what they do impacts in a positive (or negative!) way for their clients. This is especially true of developers in large organisations. I know some amazing developers who have gone on to do other things - albeit not escorting - for this very reason. I'm lucky because I'm finally working in an organisation where they really appreciate and value what you do. It makes a world of difference and I've never worked anywhere with such low staff turnover. I'm sure other people will have had experiences both ways (no escorting-based pun intended).
Because [IT workers] are rarely thanked for what they do
To misquote Charles Schulz: doing a good job in IT is like pissing yourself in a dark suit - it may give you a warm glow, but nobody seems to notice.
When I worked as a sysadmin I only ever got asked two questions from the users: "why isn't X working?" or "what do you do all day?"
Most IT implementations are undertaken to automate processes with senior management believing that it will allow them to reduce costs (i.e., headcount). It's not surprising that people would be unlikely to be thanking you.
With the advent of "cloud", it may be that sysadmins find themselves being taken out...
Pretty certain the second bit is why I just lost my upcoming contract renewal*. The first part happened as well, although all three times my stuff went down was due to networks and servers, but since my system was what everyone saw fail it was, of course, my fault.
* NO, really, I actually heard someone ask this while passing in the hallway during one of my rare trips out of my cave. "Who's that guy?" "Oh, he runs the ___ system." "Really? God, why do we need him? It hasn't been down in over a year, and then it was down twice in a couple of months. Is he any good?"
No. Fucking. Shit.
(Anonymous because I know the twats trawl this site and, while I have already given them a piece of my mind about whether or not I will be around for a call-in should anything serious happen, considering how they jerked me around on the renewal for several months, I would rather not leave one of them thar paper-trail thingies.)
> Because they are rarely thanked for what they do, and it's often hard for them to see how what they do impacts in a positive (or negative!) way for their clients.
FOSS mate, give it a try.
You still have the spoilt brats who complain like they have raised you and paid for your education and your first two Ferraris, of course, but at least you can tell them to go get escorted by someone without fear of repercussions.
And on the other hand, you do have a lot of users who are polite and show appreciation for what you do in many different ways: by saying thank you, by sending patches, sometimes even making donations. Plus, I think it's nice to have that sort of face-to-face interaction between users and developers. While my own contributions have always been anonymous, like everything else I do online, as a user I do get satisfaction from knowing that this application or that library have been written by John, or Linda, or whoever, as opposed to the facelessness of a "© Microsoft" or some such.
So yeah, FOSS is an entirely different experience with a much richer social aspect.
"On a serious note, that's why a lot of people give up when they're working in I.T. Because they are rarely thanked for what they do,"
This is why I like cooking. My previous IT life (I was an IBMer) was incredibly unsatisfying, and frustrating. Often felt I was being ignored, and I was correcting the same mistakes made by our offshore teams over and over again, and never felt I was getting anywhere. Cooking meant I could plan, and execute something, and see the results. The customer (my wife) would be pleased with the result. My post IT strategy is to run a Bed and Breakfast, and do some cooking. I don't think my wife would approve if I offered 'extras' : -)
My stepson's a chef. A bloody good chef. Been a sous at The Criterion in Picc Circus amongst other places.
Believe me, nothing - and I mean nothing - I've ever seen in IT matches the sierra-hotel-one-tango he's had thrown at him over the years.
Far too many head chefs seem to think that all those celebrity chefs are some sort of role model, and HR in the hospitality biz makes a chocolate teapot look like a very useful device. I fought and beat one once to help him out. He's gone FoH now, in chain restaurants mostly, but of course whenever the kitchen crashes it's him who sorts it out.
B&B - don't. Just don't. Unless you have a very realistic expectation of the long hours and hard work involved.
"Lets be honest, if you were chatting up desperate middle age women its because you couldn't pull the ones nearer your own age, and/or you had an Oedipus thing going on."
Let's be honest, you have no idea what you're talking about. Only desperate women are chasing younger guys, and only desperate men would pursue an older woman? Just what insurmountable problem does an age difference cause? A billion or so MILF fans also disagree with you.
I had a fling with an older woman or two when I was younger. I was dating around my age with no problem. These were attractive women with enough experience to be smoking hot in bed. Beats a self-entitled, inexperienced 20-something any day. I also once dated a woman who preferred men 15+ years older than her because she was tired of shallow young guys. Age means nothing if you're taking reasonable care of your body.
"Let's be honest, you have no idea what you're talking about. "
30 years experience with women says otherwise sunshine.
"Only desperate women are chasing younger guys, and only desperate men would pursue an older woman?"
In a nutshell. The women are hitting the panic button over their fading youth (a bit like Kate Beckinsale right now with her toyboy) and the men will take the first female who looks at them twice.
"Age means nothing if you're taking reasonable care of your body."
Pfft, yeah, right, whatever you say Peter Pan. Who's your next conquest, Enid at the old peoples home?
"30 years experience with women says otherwise sunshine."
Anyone can have 30 years experience. It doesn't mean you have 30 years of experience doing the right thing.
And, for the record, nothing desperate about it. It just so happened older women were a lot more adventerous in bed, a lot less needy than girls my own age, and all of them had their own place.
"Anyone can have 30 years experience. It doesn't mean you have 30 years of experience doing the right thing."
Whats the "right thing"? I've no regrets. I couldn't imagine going out with some middle age woman when I was younger, I wanted someone who had similar cultural reference points and was fun, not someone boring on about the beetles or presley and her mortgage payments.
"It just so happened older women were a lot more adventerous in bed"
Clearly you've never been out with the right younger women.
"Whats the "right thing"? I've no regrets. I couldn't imagine going out with some middle age woman when I was younger, I wanted someone who had similar cultural reference points and was fun, not someone boring on about the beetles or presley and her mortgage payments."
Ahhhhh, see now here we have the problem. And this can all be settled with this one line:
I didn't date older women. I shagged them. No relationships, nothing. Just a text or a call to say "You busy? Fancy some fun?" and then in half an hour I'm riding them like a donkey. Again, something women my own age didn't want.
Just a text or a call to say "You busy? Fancy some fun?" and then in half an hour I'm riding them like a donkey.
Most of the time when I see people riding a Donkey (at the beach), they are jiggling up and down at a random pace; often fall off unexpectedly. Some realise that they prefer watching someone else doing it.
There's also the cheap gag of someone making an ass of themselves.
Sorry, that all the innuendo's I cam cum up with.
"30 years experience with women says otherwise sunshine."
who a sad bitter little boy then?
Cheer up chum even you'll get an opportunity to give Mary Palm and her five sisters a rest.
"It just so happened older women were a lot more adventerous in bed, a lot less needy than girls my own age, and all of them had their own place."
that was always my experience as well.
"who a sad bitter little boy then?"
Sorry, think you've been looking in the mirror by mistake.
"Cheer up chum even you'll get an opportunity to give Mary Palm and her five sisters a rest."
That your close family is it?
"that was always my experience as well."
Another little boy who was looking for a substitute mummy. All a bit tragic and rather funny :)
> 30 years experience with women
Boltar, I do not think our fellow poster would consider sitting in front of a computer monitor, furiously scrolling through picture galleries with your free hand, as qualifying "experience".
Then again, I might be wrong. :-P
> Boltar, I do not think our fellow poster would consider sitting in front of a computer monitor, furiously scrolling through picture galleries with your free hand, as qualifying "experience".
Which is a shame, because if it did it would make me something of a Guru.
Yeah. Back in my 20s I developed a theory on why I should become a male escort. Never did the research, however.
All you have to do is dress nicely, groom up presentably, and just look the part of a gentleman. Smile a lot, speak when spoken to, laugh at horrible or stupid jokes, pretend to take interest in whatever inanity spills forth from her mouth, be gracious when introduced as whatever (including going with whatever story she decides to tell, if at all as at some events this sort of thing is expected and accepted,) and so on.
Be her best friend, a caring companion, whatever she may need for those few hours. Remembering certain details of your conversations can be a bonus for repeat customers, sometimes worth a little extra tip.
Rather than having to pay for the evening's events, though if you do for appearances you can agree to be reimbursed, you get paid and have much better odds at a happy ending for the evening. You may never see her again, or if you do it's on a customer-provider basis so you get to set your availability with no hurt feelings.
In my past I've gone on "dates" with lady friends so they wouldn't be alone: weddings, birthday parties, movie nights, even funerals. I never got any money for any of those but I realized I could given the right situation.
Also, it doesn't have to stop at "middle age." Sites like "Our Time" are becoming a thing. There is a market in the 40 and 50 year-old range, and a lot of these ladies are very nice looking, good-natured, and fun. If you are in your 40s and have aged well, there is a chance for you to make the occupation change or take it on as a weekend job.
That's the theory, anyway.
Do you have a bajillion dollars from your app?
No? Maybe it's not that easy then. Maybe what would actually have happened is that he would have spent an awful lot of time and effort on an app which if unsuccessful would have lost him money and if successful would have been quickly copycatted by a bajillion other developers leaving him very little profit.
Either way sounds like a far worse deal than a bit of escorting.
... general scoff heard in the halls when the word was that the DOD contractor had gone off to missionary work in foreign lands for retirement ...
Yes, years ago met a HP engineer who left the Bay Area and went off to New Mexico to raise sheep and work on the VLA ....
You would be surprised, don't underestimate female desires, plus if idea is just a night of fun, you get guaranteed action instead of dating lucky dip, and so no need for awkward chats, dinner etc. - high escort costs offset to a degree by no restaurant etc. costs.
Also plenty of non intimate escort work e.g. plenty of pressure on female execs to attend various functions with a "partner" - and so a market in fake "partners" for such things, where main requirement is intelligent, articulate, looking the part of the type of person that a female high flyer would be with (even though its 2017 a fair few female high fliers in the market as their interests are not in men, but feel being "out" would be career damaging). These type of jobs can become a regular gig (obviously, as looks odd if partner keeps changing!)
re don't underestimate female desires, economic pov , rich divorcees etc
I can understand a middle aged woman who might not look her best in an 8" mini skirt, twerking to the latest grime in a seedy nightclub at 3am being groped by 18yr old asholes.
But an escort seems to be the other extreme. Women have a sexual power over men. They snap their fingers and men form a queue.
The rich divorcee who dosent want the hassle of dating , or an actual relationship still has options - there are websites for that sort of thing - all she has to do is place an ad and use phrases like "no strings" and "discretion required" , and im sure there will be more choice than the local gigolo community.
Admittedly , if she does want a professional partner impersonator for corporate do's then maybe go professional.
"Laws of supply and demand would suggest its not a viable business "
Look at this from an economic point of view. What is being supplied and what is the demand?
Assume we're looking at single well off women in their 40s and 50s.
If discussing stuff that may be a bit gross offends you - stop reading now.
Women have sexual fantasies. These probably don't involve hanging around bars looking for single younger men. Nor do they involve, most likely, men of a similar age who are (a) probably the reason they are single in the first place and (b) chasing younger women.
In effect they want a dramatic performance of their fantasies where they are the centre of attention and in it for real. Is a young man off the street likely to provide this? He's likely to be gauche, and easily turned off by the reality of middle aged women. A pick up may be a big disappointment.
Now think of hiring an expert. She needs someone with a track record to avoid disappointment. If she wants to be spanked, she gets expert spanking, if she wants something tickled with a feather it gets tickled, and so on. She wants everything set up on her terms, and best of all when the fantasy is over she wants the escort out so she can go back to normal life.
I suspect there are quite a lot of women in that position. But how many men are capable of meeting those requirements? (Certainly I couldn't.) Those are not skills that can easily be commoditised. In fact, the law of supply and demands suggests prices should be quite high. (At the top of the corresponding tree for men it's obvious that a degree of Veblen good is the order of the day.)
IT is increasingly about commoditisation, which is why the experience is usually shit. (Individual needs are subsumed to standardisation.) If you want to provide a high value service (which gives some people a lot of satisfaction) upmarket cookery and boutique hotels are examples of other career options. My wife goes to a bespoke boot company, and that's another example of a personal service that can make both seller and buyer happy even though it entails a 300 mile round trip.
Pull out the appropriate object and remove any bugs and viruses that you find.
Make sure that interfaces are clean and (initially) loosely coupled.
Try out a few different and obscure methods.
Explore a few test scenarios; in the event of an unexpected failure, simply pause, re-adjust your code-base and jump straight back in.
But when you're done it really doesn't matter what kind of mess you leave inside as long as the final result is that, after the next major release, you have another happy and satisfied customer.
...I recently resigned to my 10 year IT career, I'm training my replacement before I leave in a month; I will open my own business designing and selling motorcycle safety accessories, I will save lives and avoid people getting injured, no more filling the pockets of NASDAQ with money selling and supporting overpriced snake oil.
After I was qualified to be a Microsoft IT engineer by the University of Edinburgh I didn't expect the reality of people not actually liking you because of your job.
Seemingly I stop people going to Web sites at work, I stop them downloading stuff. In effect, I'm a policeman I was told.
Manager thought I was rubbish because I allowed 1 spam email to reach his account. I tried to tell him, the software had blocked 999 of them that day. He would use his email on USENET!
Director told me, IT was a drain on the business. It did nothing profitable for it.
Seemingly the £20,000 I saved him on license fees that year was forgotten. Odd that.
I was quite happy to get out and do freelance IT.
Wish School had taught me how to deal with people who really didn't care what they got up to at Work.
...but I can't; its from USENET. Somebody's EE career is doing a lot better than mine:
The Sex Life of an Electron by
One night when his charge was pretty high, Micro Farad
decided to seek out a cute little coil to let him discharge. He picked up
Millie Amp and took her for a ride on his megacycle.They rode across the
Wheatstone Bridge, around the sine waves, and stopped in the magnetic field by
a flowing current. Micro Farad, attracted by Millie Amp's
characteristic curves,soon had her fully charged and excited her luv resistance to a
maximum. He laid her on the ground potential, raised her frequency, and
lowered her reluctance. He pulled out his high voltage rod and inserted
it in her socket, thus connecting them in parallel, and began to short
circuit her resistance shunt. Fully excited Millie Amp screamed "Ohm!
Ohm! Ohm!" With his tube operating at a maximum and her field vibrating with
his current flow, it caused her shunt to overheat and Micro Farad was
rapidly discharged and drained of every electron. They fluxed all
night trying various connections and sockets until his magnet had a soft
core and lost all of its field strength. Afterwards, Millie Amp tried
self induction and damaged her solenoid. With his battery fully discharged
Micro Farad was unable to excite her field, so they spent the rest of the
night reversing polarity and blowing each others fuses.
.. but if he's not doing men he is very, very unusual.
The leading sexual health clinic in London for male sex workers sees many, many hundreds of them. The last time I saw the figures, exactly three only had female clients. Not very many more (I think it was low teens) had ANY female clients.
The best book by one spends about nineteen chapters talking about female clients and then, in the last one, says 'oh, yeah, most of my clients were men' - but that's not what the media wants to hear about.
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