back to article Tesco Online IT meltdown: Fails to deliver thousands of grocery orders

An unspecified UK-wide technical glitch related to the food picking and packaging process left thousands of Tesco online grocery punters without their deliveries today, the retailer has told us. “We’re currently experiencing an IT issue which is affecting some Grocery Home Shopping orders,” a spokesman at the UK’s largest …

  1. Domquark
    Joke

    Maybe..

    Their cloud melted in the heatwave?

    I'll get my coat......

    1. MyffyW Silver badge

      Re: Maybe..

      Unexpected item in data centre?

    2. iRadiate

      Re: Maybe..

      Would a cloud melt? Or would it get more cloudy?

  2. Pen-y-gors Silver badge

    Glasto?

    I thought the sort of people who go to Glastonbury were generally really right-on, cool types. So why are they shopping at Tesco?

    1. Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse Silver badge

      Re: Glasto?

      Erm... hailing from the surrounding area as I do, can I suggest you watch this years extended TV coverage. You'll see it's mostly populated by twits or painfully misguided and delusional *cough* alternative *cough* types who just seemingly love to keep the whole corporate machine fed.

      There is a deep gaping irony and hypocrisy in the whole Glastonbury thing these days. I just can't be arsed to write it up for you all.

      1. MyffyW Silver badge

        Re: Glasto?

        "Oh is this the way they say the future's meant to feel?

        Or just 20,000 people standing in a field."

    2. Steve Davies 3 Silver badge

      Re: Glasto?

      Cheapo Fosters and similat gnats piss. That's why they use Tesco.

      Oh, and don't forget the Clubcard points and paying for all the hooch on daddy's credit card.

  3. AndrueC Silver badge
    Meh

    It took their servers nearly an hour to send an order change confirmation email last night. Don't know if it was related or not but it makes me wonder if they started doing some maintenance yesterday evening and today we're seeing the consequences.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      It may be related.

      I work for DotCom as a driver and walked in to work this morning to actually organised chaos.

      The pickers (who start at 5am) use a handheld that gets customers orders transferred to it from the DotCom servers.

      The routers were connecting to the devices but not connecting to anything beyond that, so no order details or items could be picked for each tray.

      Now, they could get a printout of each order and then go and pick the items, but without the handheld, the system has no way to charge peoples accounts, or notify them of changes, or warn them of close use-by dates etc.

      So all picking was cancelled.

      Now at the time of the drivers starting at 8am, nothing had been picked for the morning runs, but they were hoping to get the system back up for picking the afternoon run.

      Not our store, ALL orders are cancelled for today (morning, afternoon and evening) and we (the drivers) took pity on the single Customer Care girl that was trying to get in contact with every customer to let them know to either place the order again, or phone the customer care line; so we all ended up grabbing a list of customers and letting them know. The stores response was as fast as it could be and I really hope the customers get everything they ordered ASAP.

      The problem now is that the vans can only carry so many orders, and the missed orders from today are being worked in to the deliveries for tomorrow, but it will really be the weekend to slot all them in with the current day deliveries, so please phone the Customer Care Line (there's different numbers for different areas so check the top right of your last receipt)

      The morning delivery customers would have been late getting any message because it took a while to decide that the picking was not going to happen in time, but the afternoon and evening deliveries should have been getting voice messages, followed by texts and emails from before 11am.

      As to what caused it? No clue, but I think I can smell P45's being prepared.

      1. keithpeter
        Pint

        Re: It may be related.

        Excellent team work there, so in addition to upvote, see icon.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: It may be related.

        Funny how firms are more interested in preparing P45s instead of DRPs.

    2. Ken Moorhouse Silver badge

      It took their servers nearly an hour to send an order change confirmation email last night.

      What was on the order? You didn't rearrange "sweets pear drops" to read "drop sweets" did you?

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    A bit mean!

    Home delivery isn't just about lazyness - if you're a lone parent in on your own with the kids in bed and are expecting food to arrive then you're stuffed, can't just leave them on their own to go shopping!

    1. Triggerfish

      Re: A bit mean!

      Doesn't even have to be that, where I lived without a car it would be more expensive and take a while journeying to do it by bus, it was easier to just order online and get it dropped off.

    2. Ken Moorhouse Silver badge

      Re: A bit mean!

      With services such as this there should be a sign-up question along the lines of "are you totally dependent on this service?" Of course you're going to get able-bodied people answering "yes", and disabled people who don't want to cause trouble answering "no".

      Maybe there is a need for - something along the lines of a "coupon code", issued by the local GP indicating reliance on a service.

      For those who have to drive miles to buy pork chops, as opposed to diy food preparation using pigs in the local farm, their inconvenience factor could be deduced from their postcode.

      So when there is a melt-down such as this, these people get priority, everyone else should get a canned email (rather than the beans they were expecting) explaining that if they came in-store there would be some compensatory incentive.

      1. Grunt #1

        Re: A bit mean!

        Surely this is what big data is for. It can't be too hard to cross check the pharmacy orders and other items to deduce disability.

        Tesco, you are missing a trick here. Ask your customers if they have a need based on disability and you will get loyal customers.

    3. werdsmith Silver badge

      Re: A bit mean!

      It must be tough having to depend on it. We have tried it. But the pathetic examples of fruit and veg that they chose, the items with one day left on their shelf life and the dim-witted substitutions for out of stock items they brought (despite me asking for no substitutions) made be give up on it and give an hour a week over to doing it myself.

      Now the supermarket has the scan-as-you-shop scanners so there is no queuing it Is a breeze.

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      So uhm...

      "Home delivery isn't just about lazyness - if you're a lone parent in on your own with the kids in bed and are expecting food to arrive then you're stuffed, can't just leave them on their own to go shopping!"

      You make a fair point, however it does make me wonder how the previous generation managed all this, in a time when deliveries were replaced by supermarkets. Sometimes all it takes is a bit of careful planning.

  5. Jeffrey Nonken Silver badge

    "...with “thousands” of households forced to head to physical stores - perish the thought..."

    So no sympathy for shut-ins, the disabled, or the 90yo mum who can take care of herself but can't drive? Single parents working two jobs? Hell, married parents both working full time?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Yes I found the sub heading annoying. I use online grocery shopping to help my infirm father stay in his own flat.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      "...with “thousands” of households forced to head to physical stores - perish the thought..."

      So no sympathy for shut-ins, the disabled, or the 90yo mum who can take care of herself but can't drive? Single parents working two jobs? Hell, married parents both working full time?

      It makes you wonder how ever did people survive before internet shopping?

      1. Triggerfish

        It makes you wonder how ever did people survive before internet shopping?

        Same way people used to get about before cars, you could do it but it was more work.

        Progress, it's a good thing yes?

      2. ChrisC

        However did we survive before electricity, mains water, the internal combustion engine, written and spoken language...

        It's not that people are generally unable to survive without something which didn't exist x years ago, more that once the value of x starts to get large enough, that something has probably now become such an integral part of their lifestyle that to lose access to it, particularly with no warning at all, can cause significant problems.

      3. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        I have to depend on a handicapped van system whose pickup and drop off left much to be desired. Pickup can be up to one hour prior to the arranged and drop off up to two hours after that time. Then there's the other side of that equation. Often, taking a taxi was a better use for my time and my sanity. Physical health as well given the lack of seating while waiting, or especially if the seating is of the homeless hostile variety. Don't even get me started about my VA medical appointments which are totally inflexible, canceling being the only option. Which is what I am doing as the temperature is above 40C.

        Living as a near total shut in sucks. The 'net & delivery services render it possible to pull it at some expense in some comfort.

        Which situation explains why every delivery driver and the postman receives a hand salute when Isee them. Police, firefighters and ambulance crews, ditto.

      4. Gene Cash Silver badge

        It makes you wonder how ever did people survive before internet shopping?

        You can move to America and find out, where we don't have things like this...

        All we can do is rub hands in glee when they break (only half joking...)

        1. Triggerfish

          You can move to America and find out, where we don't have things like this...

          All we can do is rub hands in glee when they break (only half joking...)

          Surprising you don't really considering things like this.

          https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Food_desert

    3. This post has been deleted by its author

    4. Pompous Git Silver badge

      "So no sympathy for shut-ins, the disabled, or the 90yo mum who can take care of herself but can't drive?"
      I have exactly the same amount of sympathy for them as I do for me! Don't drive, disabled by ankylosing spondulitis, 3 miles from the post office (no home delivery here) and 10 miles from the nearest supermarket.

      Instead of the faux outrage, why don't you do something useful? Like helping the people you have sympathy for. Spent most of my life helping those less fortunate than myself and now I'm on the receiving end.

  6. Pompous Git Silver badge

    "So no sympathy for shut-ins, the disabled, or the 90yo mum who can take care of herself but can't drive? Single parents working two jobs? Hell, married parents both working full time?"
    All of whom presumably used to have to starve to death before the world of the Internet...

    1. Anonymous Coward
    2. ArrZarr Silver badge

      In the case of the 90yo mum, there would be meals on wheels or some such - a similar system but not internet based. Single parents working two jobs may have come to rely upon it so as to be able to get extra stuff done during the day. If it works >99% of the time, many don't plan for the <1% when it doesn't. Generally because there are more important things to do (As long as you don't run a company where the name rhymes with Schmitish Schmairlines).

      1. tiggity Silver badge

        Indeed, over optimism is an issue

        A relative of mine, due to combo of age & illness limiting her activities uses online shopping deliveries.

        She does always with a bit of "wiggle room" in case of delays (& ensures she always has a few bits of food & other essentials in the house so a missed delivery is an irritant but not a catastrophe).

        The generally good delivery system means many customers have started to treat JIT grocery deliveries as 100% reliable & lost the habit of "back covering" strategies in place

    3. Loud Speaker

      All of whom presumably used to have to starve to death before the world of the Internet.<P>

      Some did. Others had people who did not need to work 30 hours a day to help them.

    4. Dan 55 Silver badge

      Well, the diaabled, shut in, and 90 year old mums didn't as they had meals on wheels and locum visits. Are you offering to bring their council services back?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        "In the case of the 90yo mum, there would be meals on wheels or some such - a similar system but not internet based."

        in the 1950s before meals-on-wheels - we kids would take a hot meal from home every day to my grandfather several streets away. The covered plate was wrapped in a towel to keep it warm. We even moved into his house a couple of times while he was ill. That was in the days when one daughter of a family was expected to be her elderly parents' carer - whether she was single or married.

        1. Dan 55 Silver badge

          How far do you want to wind things back?

          Women work, children live in different towns from grandparents and parents, and we don't hunt for food any more.

          1. Pompous Git Silver badge

            How far do you want to wind things back?

            No need to wind things back. Here in the primitive colonies we have refrigerators, freezers and tinned food. It's possible to go for many weeks between food deliveries if you plan ahead. Assuming that computer systems and delivery vans are going to be 100.00% reliable is insane.

            1. Triggerfish

              Re: How far do you want to wind things back?

              . It's possible to go for many weeks between food deliveries if you plan ahead.

              And you have the money to do it

              1. Pompous Git Silver badge

                Re: How far do you want to wind things back?

                "And you have the money to do it"
                That's a matter of money management. My tenants are officially poor (they receive a government subsidy for the rent), yet they have television sets half as big again as mine. When there's a change of tenancy, they leave behind a couple of skips' worth of tat that cost me cart to the tip. We recently gave the Gitling an almost new vacuum cleaner that one tenant left behind and it wasn't a cheapie.

                Thirty odd years ago, I bought a 25 kg bag of salt. I've made ham, brined pork, salted ox tongues and used it as table salt. There's about 4–5 kg left. It cost me less than what I'd currently pay for a 125 gm package of salt from the supermarket. It doesn't take a great deal of frugality to get well ahead of the game; just a smidgeon of discipline.

                1. Triggerfish

                  Re: How far do you want to wind things back?

                  Sorry have to disagree, I have seen plenty who are struggling on benefits, have been one myself, the myth everyone on benefits owns big TV's and goes on holidays is just that. Plus thirty years in the same location? Nice but I moved house several times, and maybe you are a good landlord, I have had to live in some right slums when on the dole. Carrying a huge bag of salt round for thirty years seems somewhat unrealistic to me. Especially if you can only move by shanks pony or lifts.

                  There's a lot of people living in the UK on about 60 quid a week, that is to cover bills, food, clothing, looking for work. I can tell you money management doesn't come into it for a lot of them, they could consider themselves lucky if they have a quid left at the end of the week.

                  Of course some people might also have nice things I had a computer I bought it when working before losing my job, you are looking at a small subset and making an assumption all live like that.

                  What you need to do is look at how bad it can be for some people and base your judgement on that.

                  So housebound, not enough earnings for money management, maybe card meters which used to be a shocking tax on the poor, ever run out of electricity two days before you next get paid? Hows your freezer bank, (which obviously the av benefit tenant can run) going to do then?

                  Poor don't get to do money management most of the time that's why they are poor, there's also a big difference between officially poor and poor.

                  1. Pompous Git Silver badge

                    @ Triggerfish

                    I too have experienced dire poverty. When I first moved to Tasmania in 1970, finding work for a 19 yr old was particularly difficult. Employers whose workers were conscripted into the army were required by law to re-employ them when their term of service (2 years) were completed. SMBs as a consequence only employed people who had already been balloted out. The adult dole then was $AU10 pw, but as a 19 yr old I only received $AU6. That was enough to rent a bedsit, or buy food.

                    Then, as luck would have it, I got a job as undraped model at the Launceston art school. Three hours a week for $AU2.50 per hour. Problem was it was monthly pay and so I had three weeks with no income. I got a bit thin. I'm almost six feet tall and my weight fell to less than 45 kg.

                    Perhaps I chose the wrong example for economising. I only drink real coffee (100% Arabicas) and people tell me they can only afford instant. Last time I checked, my coffee cost 30% less per mug than Nescafé. I like peanut butter and make my own. Salted peanuts cost me $AU5.60/kg for 375 gm, peanut butter varies between $AU8 and $AU13/kg. Oddly, the 750 gm "economy" size pack of peanuts cost $AU9.33/kg. The food processor paid for itself within weeks making baby food for the Gitling instead of purchasing jars of such from the supermarket.

                    My sister and brother-in-law earn far more than me and Mrs Git ever have. Yet they are still paying off their home. Mrs Git and I have managed to purchase two additional houses. I find that most people, not just the poor, have a very poor grasp of economy and rarely do their sums. My now deceased best friend got into trouble for teaching the working class kids in his maths class how to manage an income.

                    You wrote: "What you need to do is look at how bad it can be for some people and base your judgement on that." Well, no I don't actually. I can look at my own life and base my judgement on that. It's possible to live a comfortable life on a remarkably low income and it's not rocket science.

                    1. Triggerfish

                      Re: @ Triggerfish

                      OK so I will absolutely agree that many people do not know how to balance a budget, and that a lot of people do spend beyond their means.

                      However there are still people in the country who do not have money left over full stop even if they do try and balance their budget not because they are bad at it, but because there is no money left at the end not spent on TV,s not spent on holidays, just no money, and there are people who have come from real shitty situations, far worse than yours or I and to judge them by yours I would say is still an unfair judgement. There's a lot of people who have started out poorer than you described, probably with more odds stacked against them as well.

                      To take it to an extreme (*) would it be fair if I based some of your situation on my own experiences? And said well I don't see why you can't make the effort of walking a mile or two? That's me looking at my own life and basing my judgement of you on that.

                      It would be totally unfair of me to do so, and somewhat shitty as well, so I wouldn't but this is the sort of thing that you need to take into account. Making a subjective judgement on your own life and assuming that because you have had it tough, therefore others can't have had it tougher is to me not the right way to think about it.

                      *I'd like to say I really do not mean this, I have a friend who has suffered from early onset arthritis of the knee since his twenties so I know it can actually be more than a little debilitating.

                      1. Pompous Git Silver badge

                        Re: @ Triggerfish

                        "However there are still people in the country who do not have money left over full stop... assuming that because you have had it tough, therefore others can't have had it tougher is to me not the right way to think about it."
                        So, you are claiming that someone who has money at the beginning of the week have it tougher than I did when I had no money at the beginning of the week. For three weeks running. You might not realise this, but that is completely irrational. Bear in mind that no matter how tough I've had it and it's been pretty rough from time to time, I have never, ever claimed that there's nobody having it tougher than myself. If you believe I have, you will have to quote my exact words.

                        My arthritis dates back to my twenties, some forty years ago. It hasn't stopped me from working: picking apples on contract at 3–4 times the rate of day-labourers, building my own house, market gardening for a decade... Things are different now — I needed to take an Endone to get out of bed this morning for example. But I don't piss and moan about it. I just do what I can and make the best of what I have. A 24 hour delay in grocery delivery seems a trivial thing in comparison. Squeaking of which...

                        1. Triggerfish

                          Re: @ Triggerfish

                          So, you are claiming that someone who has money at the beginning of the week have it tougher than I did when I had no money at the beginning of the week. For three weeks running.

                          I'm saying that they might have, plus 3 weeks sorry that's bad but there's definetly worse, and yes some people could have money at the beginning of the week and still be worse of after all in the long run, some peoples problems last longer than three weeks. I also never claimed you said you had it tougher than anyone. What I said is you are looking at your situation and thinking I solved it everyone elses problem must therefore be equally as solvable. It's unrealistic.

                          Apologies about any offence caused by the arthritis my friend holds down a full time job as well, but I know it's not always fun, stopped him joining the police force for example. However you seemed to have missed the point somewhat in my example.

                2. Bob Rocket

                  Mr Git

                  'that cost me cart to the tip'

                  that cost (of doing business) you include in the rent don't you ? The incidence of tax (from whatever source) falls on the consumer (and not the rentier).

                  Not everybody can save or raise (or have the foresight and risk capability) sufficient capital to gain from longer term economies of scale.

                  Sometimes frugality and austerity over time simply means starving to death.

                  When you look at your current net and your starting net worth, is the difference solely due to the amount of work you have put in over the years (if so then good on you) or is the largest part of that gain capital value accrual (speculative land/house price gain) ?

                  Here's a thing, reduce your rents to below the level that attracts a Government subsidy (which you pay for with your taxes), this will increase demand for your (now) low cost housing so you can select tenants who look after the place, pay on time, clear up after themselves and who may then accrue sufficient capital to salt their own pig.

                  1. Pompous Git Silver badge

                    Re: Mr Git

                    "Not everybody can save or raise (or have the foresight and risk capability) sufficient capital to gain from longer term economies of scale."
                    That is indubitably true. It's also indubitably true that it's possible for ever so many more people to lift themselves by their own bootstraps. Two of our tenants moved out because they had accumulated sufficient funds to purchase their own home. The first asked permission to start a panel-beating business, something I was well within my rights to refuse. Came in very handy when we needed his services.

                    "When you look at your current net and your starting net worth, is the difference solely due to the amount of work you have put in over the years (if so then good on you) or is the largest part of that gain capital value accrual (speculative land/house price gain) ?"
                    The real income from property is capital gain on the land. The house/business premises depreciates in value. Rental needs to cover the cost of purchase. Renting for less than the cost of servicing a loan (negative gearing) can work due to the vagaries of the income tax system, but it's not beyond the realms of possibility that the tax system will be amended to disallow that. The current leader of the opposition has already flagged that he will do so when he gets into power.

                    "Here's a thing, reduce your rents to below the level that attracts a Government subsidy... "
                    WTF? You want me to pay the tenants, rather than have them pay me? I've heard some crazy things in my time, but that's the looniest suggestion I've ever heard.

          2. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            @Dan55

            Oh for heavens sake, you're talking as though all the shops and supermarkets had suddenly disappeared off the face of the planet.

            Maybe family members, friends or neighbours could go and do some shopping if people are so desperate that they can't live without a delivery service for one day.

            1. Pompous Git Silver badge

              "Maybe family members, friends or neighbours could go and do some shopping if people are so desperate that they can't live without a delivery service for one day."
              Works for me though desperation doesn't come into it. The post office is 3 miles away and even without ankylosing spondulitis I think I'd have trouble carrying four cases of wine home.

              I note that most Internet vendors refuse to accept my postal address and insist on a street address for delivery. However, apart from Dell most only deliver to the post office. Go figure...

            2. Dan 55 Silver badge

              People seem happy to go back to when just before Internet shopping took off, but forget that society has changed since then and it has come to meet a need.

              Because this is El Reg, of course we're all luddites and proud of it and don't have Facebook, Twitter, a smart home, or a smart TV, and have a Nokia 150 instead of a Death Note 7 yet we could probably survive the next apocalypse with generators and a mesh network, at least going by the comments. However sometimes when something like this goes wrong without any warning it could very well screw up people's day or two or three in a real and measurable way, and not because it's ruined their Netflix session.

              Hence the question how far back do you want to go?

              1. Ken Moorhouse Silver badge

                but forget that society has changed since then and it has come to meet a need.

                I agree up to a point. But most people actually get a better deal if they were able and willing to do the work themselves*. These solutions are there not so much for the majority of the population, they are there for the people that need it. However, because the originators of these ideas make more money by convincing all sectors of the population to follow suit (economies of scale), they make compelling reasons to get everyone on board, resulting in almost total dependency.

                *In my case, doing the shopping myself means that I get to pick the items I want, rather than what the person despatched to fulfill my order feels like picking, which is likely to favour the supermarket's policy of FIFO without benefit of the in-house discount you get on short shelf-life items.

              2. Pompous Git Silver badge

                "People seem happy to go back to when just before Internet shopping took off, but forget that society has changed since then and it has come to meet a need.

                ....

                Hence the question how far back do you want to go?"

                Thinking back to the immediate postwar years when I was growing up in Nuneaton, Warks, Tesco didn't exist. I can't recall when it started, but I do remember the ladies in our street assuring Mr Ford that they would continue buying their essentials from him. It was too far away! Easily 20-30 minutes' walk!

                Mr Ford? He had a horse and cart that he sold all sorts of goods from. Kellogs cornflakes, fruit, vegetables, all the usual groceries... You just had to walk out the front door and Mr Ford's horse would take that as a signal to stop. You would purchase what you needed. Mr Ford's horse also provided something you never see in Tesco's: horse shit! There was never any mess left in the road; horse shit makes the best fertiliser for roses you can get!

                There was a barber's 50 yards from ours (he sold condoms as well as give you a blow wave) and a general store 100 yards away next to a pharmacy and newsagent. You had to go to the general store if you wanted a pack of 5 Woodbines because Mr Ford wasn't a licensed tobacconist.

                Now, you were saying?

        2. Bob Rocket

          In the 1950's

          There were a lot of children about, now there are hardly any.

          (I'm sure I read a sci-fi story about the last child to graduate)

  7. Simon Harris Silver badge
    Flame

    IT meltdown?

    It's worse than that...

    I just went to make an office ice-cream run, and all Tesco's freezer compartments were empty.

    There would have been an IT meltdown in the office if Sainsbury's hadn't come to the rescue.

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Tesco online has been karked for weeks

    I surmise that they switched to a new system about 2 months ago, and my ancient account stopped working properly. Spent two hours on the phone to second line support trying to work out why I couldn't see any delivery slots. In the end he insisted I had to make a new account as my old one wasn't compatible any more.

    Then a couple of weeks later the same problem started happening with the new account, consistently every week. Agreed it's a first world problem, but then you're all reading The Register. Switched to Asda three weeks ago. It has some drawbacks but some things they do better, and at least they have workable delivery slots!

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    First world problems.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Third world infrastructure?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Second world war.

        Yes I am aware it makes no sense but I care not one jot.

        1. Alister Silver badge

          Fourth Estate?

          1. hplasm Silver badge

            Fifth Elephant

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Second world war.

          Don't mention the war.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            "Don't mention the war."

            He mentioned it once, but I think he got away with it

  10. Alistair Silver badge
    Pint

    Ooooooooooookay

    so

    First world problems

    Second world war

    Third world infrastructure

    Forth Estate (dunno I'm left pondian - would one have an estate on the Firth?)

    Fifth Column.

    And being a tuesday and calling a 2.5 year project finally truly and completely closed,

    Only things worth dyin' for are chicks and cars and the third world war.

    I think its time to polish la resume

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      I detect a sixth sense....

      1. Pompous Git Silver badge

        I detect a sixth sense...

        And I detect a lack of commonsense...

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: I detect a sixth sense...

          Don't be fooled by the name, common sense isn't very common.

          It's like turkey bacon. My god man there's no bacon in it!

          1. Pompous Git Silver badge

            Re: I detect a sixth sense...

            "It's like turkey bacon. My god man there's no bacon in it!"
            You can make bacon from beef and lamb, too. Very nice, but free-range pig makes the best bacon of all. I make ham from mutton every so often and very enjoyable. YMMV of course...

      2. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge

        I detect a sixth sense

        I suppose you're in seventh heaven now?

        1. 2+2=5 Silver badge
          Joke

          I detect a sixth sense

          I suppose you're in seventh heaven now?

          No - no After Eights delivered.

          [After Eights - so called because after eight of them you feel sick.]

          1. Simon Harris Silver badge

            I'm enjoying this thread so much I'm on cloud nine.

            1. Mark Exclamation

              Gotta be worth a Tenner!

          2. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            As an alternative we have delivered

            5 nines uptime?

      3. Captain DaFt

        "I detect a sixth sense...."

        As in: "I see unfed people"?

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Microsoft...

    Has to be involved in this mess somewhere.

    1. Ken Moorhouse Silver badge

      Re: Microsoft... Has to be involved in this mess somewhere.

      Dear Sir, your order for Foie Gras could not be fulfilled. Instead we will be despatching a team, complete with mouth clamps, to install Windows 11 on all your hardware. If it borks hardware such as your Windows XP pc you may find the attached catalogue of Windows 11 hardware devices useful. Supplied with this item is a complimentary Windows 11 Readyness kit, which consists of a pair of rubber gloves.

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Weather forecast

    It will be a sunny and cloudless day, so enjoy it.

    1. hplasm Silver badge
      Happy

      Re: Weather forecast

      So... the Cloud is down?

  13. Grunt #1

    DRPs

    With all the outages occurring recently, does El Reg think it time to have a dedicated outages section?

  14. DwarfPants
    Alert

    Irritating if it impacts my annual order

    I use deliver once a year to do the food order for a Scout camp, I will be peeved if I have to visit a store and do it manually as I have many other tasks to do in the time between the order arriving and camp starting.

  15. Pat Harkin

    Dear customer,

    Due to issues beyond our control we are unable to supply your order of "Groceries" and have substitued "Bugger all". We hope this is acceptable and apologise for any inconvenience this might have caused.

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    not to worry, Amazon Fresh to the rescue :)

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I'm not sure the information provided so far goes anywhere close to explaining what happened. I also suspect their problems extended beyond just home shopping orders as my local Tesco had almost nothing in their chillers yesterday evening (Tuesday). The only exception was milk but that is delivered directly to store by a third party.

  18. Pompous Git Silver badge

    On-line grocery shopping

    Prior to reading the headpost, I had never considered using the home delivery service provided by supermarkets. Logging on to Woolworths I discovered that a first order placed before 30 June would be delivered free! So, on Wednesday I informed Mrs Git that I would place an on-line order so she wouldn't need to stop off on her way home from work.

    Ordering stuff was easy enough, but when I got to the checkout, discovered that our weekly spend was less than half the minimum order. Several staples (rice, bread flour, olive oil etc) only need ordering 3–4 times a year. Meat comes from the butcher and we only stocked up with a full sheep a week ago.

    Then I received an urgent phone call from Mrs Git. She urged me to cancel the order and read the comments of customers online. It would seem a great way to waste time and money... To each their own I suppose...

POST COMMENT House rules

Not a member of The Register? Create a new account here.

  • Enter your comment

  • Add an icon

Anonymous cowards cannot choose their icon

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2019